Confronting her stalling...

[MaddXMan]

Met this woman 3 weeks ago. Set up by a friend. Initial phone convo went great. Kept it short, funny and set a meeting. First meeting for drinks on a Wednesday. Convo was smooth, we laughed and had a lot in common. Holding hands, walked her to her car, then some light kissing. She said to call whenever I had a minute. I was looking forward to meeting again....

I called her Friday on my way home from work. Brief convo, then she says hold on a sec. The phone goes dead. WTF? She didn't call back.

She calls Saturday afternoon. Ask how did the convo end yesterday? I told her, she says oh I am so sorry, I was busy, blah blah. Then, she says let me call you right back. She didn't call back. I deleted her home number from my cell.

A week later, she calls my cell in the afternoon while I am at work. Message says she has been going through a lot lately but has been thinking of me and wanted to get in touch. So I called back that evening and got her voicemail. Left a message.

After 4 days I again delete her number. Then this last Friday she again calls in the afternoon, my cell when I am at work, I can't answer. Long voice message says she has been thinking about me, etc. and to call. So I did, and we talked briefly. She apologizes saying she has been feeling melancholy and has been studying for LSAT (very lame excuse!!) I don't get into asking what's wrong, but say she needs a boost and I will do that by taking her bar hopping Saturday night (heh - not such a great date idea but I didn't care! Plus I wanted to counter any nice guy image I showed) She laughs and says she would like that but she's going out of town for Labor Day weekend, and will call me Monday night.

So there, IF she does call, what do I say to make her either choose a date with me or stop the BS "I'm thinking about you" voicemails?? I don't have a lot of experience w/ dating outside of my divorce, and I met my ex wife while still in college, where communicating with women was ****ing easy!

 

[joekerr31]

omg dude, this is pathetic.

would you take this kind of behavior from anyone else in your life?

would you take this from a friend?
would you take this from a family member (without telling them off royally)?
would you take this from a colleague?
would you take this from business?

would you take this kind of **** from ANYONE else?

i gotta believe the answer is no.

you are dealing with a devil woman here man. she's getting pleasure from jerking you around. She's like a kid pulling the wings off an insect and frying him in the sun with a magnifying glass.

you don't need to do anything here but cut off all contact with her, completely.
if she calls your cell say 'sorry, can't talk right now, im busy'

and if she ends up becoming obsessive, just tell her 'im sorry, im looking for a mature woman" or "im sorry, i dont think this is working" or whatever.

but you need to cut totally loose of her in everyway. she's BAD news dude.

J

 

[MaddXMan]

Originally posted by joekerr31
omg dude, this is pathetic.

would you take this kind of behavior from anyone else in your life?

would you take this from a friend?
would you take this from a family member (without telling them off royally)?
would you take this from a colleague?
would you take this from business?

would you take this kind of **** from ANYONE else?

i gotta believe the answer is no.

you are dealing with a devil woman here man. she's getting pleasure from jerking you around. She's like a kid pulling the wings off an insect and frying him in the sun with a magnifying glass.

you don't need to do anything here but cut off all contact with her, completely.
if she calls your cell say 'sorry, can't talk right now, im busy'

and if she ends up becoming obsessive, just tell her 'im sorry, im looking for a mature woman" or "im sorry, i dont think this is working" or whatever.

but you need to cut totally loose of her in everyway. she's BAD news dude.

J

Yup. Got it. Just didn't run into this being jerked around before. If they are interested, they call. If not interested, they don't call back ever. She is 35 and I feel like I'm ****ing around with an 18 year old.

 

[insomniac]

Sounds like you're on the back-burner. You're interesting enough for her to keep around, but there's probably one or more guys she's dealing with at the same time who may be ahead. I've unintentionally done this to women that I was into. but just too busy with others. I'd call them back, but never promptly or making much of an effort to get together with them.

You don't have much to work with at this point. Next time she calls and you talk to her, try to make concrete plans for getting together ("Call me back tomorrow" or any other line about how busy she is unacceptable). If she won't, don't bother with her anymore.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If you've got some extra time, consider putting her through a sh1t test, lol. Make her bend over backwards to prove that she's really been thinking about you. You'd either find out if she was truly sh1tting you or you have a bit of fun making her jump through hoops. What's good for the goose...

 

[Hayley79]

you could, alternatively, tell her to call you when she is ready to stop f*cking arround (said nicer than that). when i first read the post, i immediately thought she's being a major doesnt-have -her-act-together b!tch. but the LSAT thing makes me give that a second thought, because i know what its like to study for board exams like that; i've been through it, and it literally makes people go crazy. i mean, i know people who had to go on ambien during board time. and these were guys. i have never seen so many grown men cry as i have after a board exam. anyway, that might be whats driving her nuts. now, you shouldn't have to deal with that. thats why you can tell her to give you a call when things settle down a little.

 

[Bill S. Preston Esq]

I would say set up a date and flake on her but it seems like she would beat you to it.

 

[gixxer]

I'd say take a good hard look at yourself and ask why you even have to think twice about dumping this b!tch. Of course, it's hard to dump someone who is already jerking you around. You have nothing here and you need to drop her ASAP.

Seriously, you should have been gone at the first sign of trouble. Why would you put up with this crap? Pathetic!

BTW, she has no respect for you or your time and you can't have attraction without respect. You're out and you don't even know it. At least save what's left of your dignity.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I think you needed it.........

 

[gixxer]

Wow, my taglines are pretty appropriate, huh?

gixx

 

[TooColdUlrick]

in case you didn't know, she's d1cking you around and loving it.

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.

never contact her again.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
If you've got some extra time, consider putting her through a sh1t test, lol. Make her bend over backwards to prove that she's really been thinking about you. You'd either find out if she was truly sh1tting you or you have a bit of fun making her jump through hoops. What's good for the goose...

she already sh1t on him...a couple of times. unless he's in to that sort of thing???

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
she already sh1t on him...a couple of times. unless he's in to that sort of thing???

I know, but it can be a fun experiment. I actually had a woman not only do my grocery shopping while I sat at home, she paid for the food too. I know, I know, it was mean but hey, she started it!

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
If you've got some extra time, consider putting her through a sh1t test, lol. Make her bend over backwards to prove that she's really been thinking about you. You'd either find out if she was truly sh1tting you or you have a bit of fun making her jump through hoops. What's good for the goose...

rofl good one francisco:cheer:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3:

Any woman that makes you wait for sex, or implies by her actions that she is making you wait - the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

You are not her first priority. You may end up as a pinch hitter, but she has other prospects she is exploring and even the limited, unearned attention you FREELY give her only reinforces this behavior. My advice is to NEXT her, but for future reference always remember that behavior depends on it's reinforcement. If the behavior is undesirable remove the reinforcer.

 

[SAYNO]

I met a Bvtch Like this Once

I remember meeting a women like this once.

She ended up get caught by her own game playing too.

I made this s!ut drive 6 hours to see me and she waited at the hotel and I never showed up.....

Man that felt good, beating them hoe's at their own game is a powerful, wondererful feeling. :woo:


Hey, you ought to try it sometimes.


Sayno

 

[GirlCrazy]

I like the idea of a sh1t test too. Yeah, she's probably not worth much effort at this point, but for a few minutes of your time you get to see how many hoops she's willing to jump through.

If she jumps through all your hoops with the same skill as Bobo the Wonder-Dolphin, then she might be worth reconsidering. I doubt it, but what will it hurt to try?

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I know, but it can be a fun experiment. I actually had a woman not only do my grocery shopping while I sat at home, she paid for the food too. I know, I know, it was mean but hey, she started it!

i understand all of this...BUT...if you do this with chicks that flake, you will end up spending all of your time trying to get back at 'em, when you should be spending your time getting with chicks that don't flake.

i guess if you have nothing better to do, then it would be fun.

if it makes you feel better, just send her an email like this:

please don't contact me ever again. you are a waste of time.

thank you


i can't tell you how many times i've sent that exact email, or told her in person, after she's flaked. most of the time, it's the second flake, because i've become more patient in my elderly years, and sh1t does happen. but that line works WONDERS! no explanation...nothing. makes her think. if she was fukking with you intentionally, she won't do it again. if she was testing you, and she digs you, you just took control of the situation. she'll probably email you back, apologizing.

if MaddX would have done this on the second flake, this post would not exist.

chicks that do what this chick has done, do it to a lot of guys...probably at the same time. they also tend to share all of the events with their other chick friends, and laugh about it amongst themselves, about how much of a loser you are. i know...i have sisters.

don't be the topic of their twisted entertainment. nip it in the bud. the fact is, he let it GET to this point. now you guys are saying "get back at her". who was in control of this situation--from the start to the end? she was. if you never let it get to this point, you will never say this, nor do the kind of things you are saying.

never ever let a chick be in control of the "relationship". NEVER! it will spiral out of control in one way or another...as this one did.

that's some good advice right there, if i say so myself.

 

[MaddXMan]

Well she called. I figured what was needed was a bold move so I told her I wanted to take her to this particular very expensive restraunt. She's supposed to call me back with her answer tomorrow!!!


The above was a joke.

Actually she called last night and left me a voicemail. What a tired-a$$ game. I bet based on the past, if I don't call her back then she will try again on either Friday or Saturday. Let's find out!

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by MaddXMan
Well she called. I figured what was needed was a bold move so I told her I wanted to take her to this particular very expensive restraunt. She's supposed to call me back with her answer tomorrow!!!


The above was a joke.

Actually she called last night and left me a voicemail. What a tired-a$$ game. I bet based on the past, if I don't call her back then she will try again on either Friday or Saturday. Let's find out!

*shaking my head*

dood, you are wasting your time. if you had other opportunities available--let's say three other good leads in the pipeline--you would not be doing this. you would be ignoring this chick completely. the fact that you are willing to play HER game, indicates (to me) that you have no other opportunities.

think about it.

it's a damn good feeling, much better than revenge, when you have 10 fukking chicks you're working on, and you next the ones that flake. A DAMN GOOD FEELING!

"let's find out" will never enter your mind.

 

[joekerr31]

Originally posted by MaddXMan

Actually she called last night and left me a voicemail. What a tired-a$$ game. I bet based on the past, if I don't call her back then she will try again on either Friday or Saturday. Let's find out!

stick to your guns dude. move on and forget her.

and you are probably right, she probably will end up calling a few more times.

At which point maybe you take her out and bang her and forget about her for good after that.

nothing pisses off a chic more than when they kill themselves to get your interest, you bang them, then forget them.

that will teach her a lesson.

but regardless, you can't count on her calling you. so mentally move on from her.

J