Conflict resolution- Not woman related-Dog related-long read tho

[mv.89]

Hey guys,

I am wondering if any of you have any suggestions as to how I could've better dealt the situation I just faced today?

I was at the dog park with my mom- my dog was the biggest in the park 6-7 other dogs- my dog is 8 month old 85lb german shepard.

So people were leaving and there were two families left and a third one just comes in -they have a mixed bred dog which is 80lbs 15 month old. The owner tells me

that even tho they growl at each other they are just playing-I nod my head and smile- in the meanwhile their dog is jumping over my dog trying to dominate him from

what it seems -eventually my dog jumps higher and on their dog and the dog gets hurt a little bit- Other owner shurgs it off and says -oh well U tried to dominate him

now no need to whimper. We all start to laugh.

Enter Fourth Dog -

Now this owner comes in and starts talking to other owners and has his back towards me n my mom -Talking in french whereas we were all talking in English

before- I shrug it off and just pay attention to my dog.

His dog was a Doberman 40-50lb- and she is trying to put her paw on my puppy- my mom was laughing cuz to her it looked funny and my puppy was jumping

hopping around her cuz a new dog just came in. She was trying to dominate my dog -but my dog being bigger in size and weight was able to outwit/outplay her.

I noticed that whenever my dog would get out of her paw and try to do the same to her- the owner would get agitated. It seemed it was about to get escalated -

I started calling my dog back- but all of a sudden out of no where the owner of Doberman- kicks my dog- fortunately my dog was far from his reach and escaped

the brunt of his force.

Now -My focus was to hold my dog and get him on a leash before anything else

My Mom- in a loud voice - HEY! DON'T HIT MY DOG- YOU CANNOT HIT HIM- THEY ARE JUST PLAYING! HE IS A PUPPY!!

Owner- If he bites my dog I will hit him

Mom- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HITTING A DOG -HE DIDN'T BITE YOUR DOG

Another owner (my puppy was playing with their dog)- He is just a puppy

I - get my dog on the lease- leave the park -put my dog in the car and leave my mom in the car and go back in the park.

I call the owner -he comes to me- I start with

I'm sorry you were intimidated by my dog but his intentions were not to harm your dog. Only reason I'm back in here is to clear this misunderstanding but

understand this that -if my mom is alone in the park next time and you do this again- I will not tolerate this and I will find you and things will escalate.

Owner- OH YEAH! you want to escalate things? I'm a bad guy to escalate things with.

I - I'm explaining this to you-so please understand this. If you don't we can settle it right now?

Owner- OH YEAH! let's go

I- I ask him to come outside the park ( in my mind- damn - he's 50 plus and I'm 25 - I don't want to fight him-it's not a fair fight)

Owner- YEAH ! let's go -let's call the cops

I- (in my mind lol) - in reality - I was like - why would I call the cops ?

I'm about to leave the park - my mom is now out of the car- I was like (AH! **** -in my mind) -now I didn't wanted to fight cuz I'm concerned for her.

I explain to the owner that if there were kids in the park and one kids gets hurt accidentally would you go hit him?

I- my puppy is new to the park that's why I bring him here to socialize him- so stay calm- I'm leaving now but keep everything I said in your mind. Happy New Year.

Owner- Good day.

Now seeing this - other families who were there in the park and knew this guy- left the park as well.

When I got home - this uneasy feeling dawned over me that- why didn't I fight him? I am a weak person not fight him? He must be thinking how brave he is ?

If my dog were a person would he think that I didn't fight for him? -all these things -

If I were a bit younger , I have no doubt! there would've been definitely a physical altercation between he and I.

Guys could I have done better? Should I have actually fought the man? How would you have handled it differently ?

Thanks a million for reading

 

[Albatross953]

The guy was a douche. But you cannot threaten people. Stow your own sh*t in life, train your dog. If his dog bites, file a complaint. Otherwise ignore the crap out of people like that. Life is too short, and you have too much to accomplish.

 

[mv.89]

The guy was a douche. But you cannot threaten people. Stow your own sh*t in life, train your dog. If his dog bites, file a complaint. Otherwise ignore the crap out of people like that. Life is too short, and you have too much to accomplish.

Thanks for the input.

My dog didn't initiate anything- he was imitating what his dog was doing but

I get your point.

Thanks again.

 

[Donaldinho]

If someone kicked my dog, even if it was his fault, I would definitely get physical, I don't care if they call the cops. You DO NOT kick my dog. If he does that sh1t again, drop kick the dude, f@ck him!

 

[Desdinova]

Not woman related-Dog related

Then it belongs in the Anything Else forum.

Thread moved....

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm on my third German Shepherd. There is a GSD forum here: http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/

Pretty much everybody there hates dog parks, because other people are too ignorant to control their dogs.

You shouldn't have gone back to confront the guy. Nothing good was going to come out of that. Plus, if anything happened, it makes you look bad in the eyes of the law. By leaving and then coming back, that makes you the aggressor. It looks like you are the one who is trying to pick a fight.

 

[mv.89]

I'm on my third German Shepherd. There is a GSD forum here: http://www.germanshepherds.com/forum/

Pretty much everybody there hates dog parks, because other people are too ignorant to control their dogs.

You shouldn't have gone back to confront the guy. Nothing good was going to come out of that. Plus, if anything happened, it makes you look bad in the eyes of the law. By leaving and then coming back, that makes you the aggressor. It looks like you are the one who is trying to pick a fight.

I went to apologize and to clear the misunderstanding but I understand your point of view from legal perspective.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[mv.89]

If someone kicked my dog, even if it was his fault, I would definitely get physical, I don't care if they call the cops. You DO NOT kick my dog. If he does that sh1t again, drop kick the dude, f@ck him!

lol when I got home -that's my initial reaction was too-that this is what I should've done. That's why the uneasy feeling dawned over me.

What I did today was against how my nature is-resolve physical confrontation with physical response.

What I did today was different

 

[mangotot]

Its not polite or behaviour packed with good manners for people to go round kicking other dogs (or their own dogs). You should call the cops.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I don't think you should have gone back, apology or not. What's done is done. But I do understand your uneasy feeling. When that dude tried to kick your dog, you should have said something (not knocked him out) then and there, and made it clear in no uncertain terms that kicking your dog is illegal and you would be calling the cops if he didn't back the fvck off you and your pooch.

Bottom line is that after you "miss an opportunity" to assert yourself when you should, it's naturally to feel like you messed up, AND there's not much to do to fix it.

Just file this away for more data for next time some douche gets in your face.

As a side note a friend of mine used to have this German Shepard that was mean as hell. Once he was in his garage working on his car, with his dog nearby. The next door neighbors little mutt came wandering in, and my buddy's dog literally tore him apart. My buddy broke his face in several places, grabbing the dog and pulling him off the puppy, and smashing his face into the side of the car in the process.

In summary, I concur with BibleBelt. Stay out of dog parks, too many people and unknown variables.

 

[dasein]

You did the right thing by not fighting, and it would take superhuman willpower not to go back and make some kind of stand as you did, so no biggie there. The world is full of POS people today due to many factors. Always retreat from a fight, the days of rational fighting as a threat response when safe retreat is possible are long over because of gynocracy, nannyism and uncontrolled litigiousness, it is almost never the right call to get physical in any situation today. Carry a cheap recorder or be able to pull it up quickly on your phone for all encounters with POS people. Always be cognizant of witnesses in the area, whether they will be truthful or lie, whether they have an axe to grind. Keep your hands clean in all such encounters, it's the state of the world we live in that we must accept.

 

[zekko]

I'm sorry you were intimidated by my dog but his intentions were not to harm your dog. Only reason I'm back in here is to clear this misunderstanding but understand this that -if my mom is alone in the park next time and you do this again- I will not tolerate this and I will find you and things will escalate.

I don't really have a suggestion about what you should have done, but let me say this:

IF your intention was to apologize, this isn't much of an apology. Maybe it starts out that way, but it quickly turns into a threat. I'm not saying you were wrong to threaten him, but if you intended to smooth it over, that wasn't really the way to go about it. I understand the impulse to come off as all alpha though, especially if you read SoSuave lol.

 

[mv.89]

Guys thanks a lot for all your responses. I really appreciate you read it all.

Only reason I left the park was cuz I wanted my mom and dog to be inside my car before I went ahead and talked to him -who knows if he had a gun on him. Don't want to jeopardize their safety.

I feel okay now for not getting physical reading all the responses here. I did read it somewhere that "a king would fight until he dies but a good/smart king wouldn't let a fight happen in the first place" lol -your responses

are in line with what I read.

Guys I meditate almost on a daily basis now and I've seen changes in my attitude as in -Now i'm making choices I would've never made in the past. Effect of meditation ? I don't know but that's a factor that was

changed in my life.

Thanks again for reading and sharing input.