Confident Persistence vs. Nexting

[Wingedsig]

I would say I have been schooled in basic game tactics since about 27. And for the most part, many of my abilities with women have improved somewhat. Incidentally, part of that has to do with status and progression in career, and partly with learning to communicate better. However, in the process of spinning plates, when have you guys found it is better to next vs. confident persistence? What I mean is, with men running "Game" and chicks using $hit like "The Rules" (which basically tell them not to return texts or phone calls), how is one really to get much of anything accomplished? What I mean is, it seems that if both parties are using strategy a stalemate ensues. What I typically have done is 3 strikes. Not returning a combination of 3 texts or phonecalls/voicemails, and you are not worth further pursuit.However, I am beginning to question if steady persistence would have been better in some instances.What I am finding is these $hit tests seem to be a woman's scale of a man's real level of interest, while we scan for IOI's. Anyhow just curious which methods you gents use(ie 3 strikes) and how you fellas weigh out when to next, or to steadily pursue.

 

[VladPatton]

I myself am not a big fan of too much persistence. There is a fine line between a creepy stalker and so called confident persistence, I believe. I find the 3 strike tactic to be persistent enough yet save you dignity by letting her go after realizing she truly is: not interested.

As far as girls who are using "The Rules", it is indeed a stalemate. Both parties cannot using gaming tactics, only one can. One will do or not do something, while the other counters appropriately, upping the ante, and no one winning because you both figured out each other's plan.

As a basic concept of guy + girl interaction, I say Ƒuck game, and Ƒuck The Rules, and just show interest in her as a man, and expect a good level of reciprocation of interest from her as return for your efforts, and in essence a confirmation of her interest. This of course is baseline, and then everything slowly takes off from there.

 

[Fly By Night]

That's what I wanted to know.

Some of the things I noticed when I first joined this forum was the large amount of advice to next women. When I actually started going out there, I didn't want to completely burn bridges, so I played it cool and persisted. It held good results for some of them.

It would be nice to have a list of behaviors and actions that signal that you should stop or keep going, but I think your gut will let you know when to stop persisting.

 

[Mr. Bond]

^ Hey, we agree on something. That post says it all.

 

[Zarky]

OP, here's the equation:

Local female population * Your desirability = Odds you should 'next'

That is, if you're in a city with a high female population, you should 'next' quickly. If you're a hot commodity, you should 'next' quickly. You'll note that the equation doesn't take into account at all the woman you are contemplating nexting.

If you're George Clooney living in Los Angeles, you should 'next' any chick who doesn't spread her legs 15 minutes after you meet, because odds are the next chick you meet will.

If you look and act like Gomer Pyle and you live in a town with a female population of 1500, you're gonna have to "pursue" the same b*tch to get any poon.

I think the point is that it largely depends on the options you have available. Lots of guys think that "nexting" is a personal decision on their part when in fact it's driven by plenty of external forces. If you know that the next chick you haven't even met yet is more likely to give you what you want, you're not going to pursue the one who's already denied you. Therefore your job is to maximize those options.

So you see, often the question of whether you should "next" a particular girl doesn't have much to do with that girl at all.

Not returning a combination of 3 texts or phonecalls/voicemails, and you are not worth further pursuit.

That's two more chances than I give any woman

What I am finding is these $hit tests seem to be a woman's scale of a man's real level of interest, while we scan for IOI's.

They may be, but then you either have 1) a woman who is 'testing' you or 2) a gamer. Neither one is ok in my book, and in my experience the best relationships (and sex) I've ever had are with women who freely give love rather than test or manipulate to get it.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I agree in all with Zarky, nexting is influenced from your value and the quantity of decent women accessible to you.

A good looking guy living in a student city can/has to next quick enough since the odds are in his favour, a soldier living in a military town with a man/woman ratio of 10:2 cannot next as easily as the first one even if their look and value is the same.

Agree as well also on the last part, I take any sh1t from a woman as low interest or being considered nothing special from her.
In my experience (I estimate I dealt with at least 100 women in my life) those who found me attractive shown me green light from the beginning and even took the lead to ignite the process.

Any girl which creates drama, is busy all the time or doesnt begin communication by herself shown herself to be a losing bet.

Rejected kisses or flirting with other men are instant red lights, its no sh1t test or evaluating to check you, its pure and simple she not only doesnt want you but she doesnt respect you as well.

When it comes of nexting I suggest to trust you gut for experienced and self-honest man and follow a check-list for inexperienced or ego driven men.

Ill create a checklist myself to help you guy.

 

[Fatal Jay]

I been nexting and deleting so many women off my phone, that its like two or three chicks left on my phone and I don't even pay them no mind. LOL I got to go back out and campaign soon.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I don't totally agree with some of the posters who say "nexting depends on how many women available". So if you live in the middle of no where and there are only 5 girls within 25 miles.. that means you should put up with any crap they give you since they are your only options? I think that is a very slippery slope way of thinking. Its the thinking that leads beta fags into being slaves to c*nt women. They believe "this is the best I can get.. so I'll take whatever sh!t she gives me".

You give in on something small.. whats next? You are elevating the value of a woman based on supply available instead of based on her actual value. Would you bang a 350 pound woman with facial hair just because she is the only woman in 1000 miles?

First.. understand that you don't NEED women. If a woman gives you crap.. you should next her. Even if you are on a desert Island and she is the only woman on it. NEXT her anyway. Don't be a b*tch.

I generally have a 2.5 strike rule. I contact her once, then a second time. The second time is ALWAYS by text because the chances she didn't get a text are very very very small. The third contact is a follow up to the last text.. usually just a question mark. THAT'S IT. If she doesn't respond by then, she is toast. Even if she is the last woman in the city. I'll hope on a bus to NYC and meet other girls if I have to. Not going to take sh!t because of supply vs. demand.

 

[Zarky]

So if you live in the middle of no where and there are only 5 girls within 25 miles.. that means you should put up with any crap they give you since they are your only options?

Well, sadly, YES. I mean, if there are only 5 women around and you next all 5... that's pretty much it isn't it? Where do you go from there? You don't live in a vacuum.. like it or not, your choices depend on external factors. The trick is putting yourself in a situation where those external factors are as good for you as possible.

 

[Fatal Jay]

Well, sadly, YES. I mean, if there are only 5 women around and you next all 5... that's pretty much it isn't it? Where do you go from there? You don't live in a vacuum.. like it or not, your choices depend on external factors. The trick is putting yourself in a situation where those external factors are as good for you as possible.

wow dude, ever heard of going out of town and seeing what the world has to offer?

that's what true macks and dj do,if it doesn't work out in your current town you see whats in other places, you will be surprise how many connections and numbers you get from a change of scenary

 

[Wingedsig]

The longer I chase women, the more I realize that "nexting" is the rule rather than the exception.

At 33 my threshold for dealing with bull$hit is next to zero, so I agree.I just wonder if I'm torturing myself by chasing away lays too early.

 

[Zarky]

wow dude, ever heard of going out of town and seeing what the world has to offer?

that's what true macks and dj do,if it doesn't work out in your current town you see whats in other places, you will be surprise how many connections and numbers you get from a change of scenary

Um, you kind of missed the point there. OF COURSE you'd leave town if there were only 5 chicks there. The point is that he was arguing that your other options don't have much to do with whether or not you "decide" to next a girl, whereas in my model your other options almost exclusively determine whether or not you next a chick. He came up with a reductio ad absurdem argument, and I met him at that level of argumentation. I wasn't being literal.

Imagine there were only 5 women left on the entire planet. You couldn't exactly next them all. Unless of course you were willing to be celibate for the rest of your life.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Um, you kind of missed the point there. OF COURSE you'd leave town if there were only 5 chicks there. The point is that he was arguing that your other options don't have much to do with whether or not you "decide" to next a girl, whereas in my model your other options almost exclusively determine whether or not you next a chick. He came up with a reductio ad absurdem argument, and I met him at that level of argumentation. I wasn't being literal.

Imagine there were only 5 women left on the entire planet. You couldn't exactly next them all. Unless of course you were willing to be celibate for the rest of your life.

Would you bang a 350 pound woman with facial hair just because she is the only woman in 1000 miles?

Sorry, but my standards are carved in stone. I don't care if their are 100,000 women available or 5. If a girl is a b*tch I will next her. Period.

That's the way it should be.

If you are willing to lower your standards based on women available.. you will end up with sh!t more often than not.. because in reality you are desperate for any p*ssy and have no standards at all.

 

[Zarky]

Easy to say, hard to achieve. Personal preferences are never set in stone, as if they're divorced from the outside world. They're 100% contextual.

I guarantee that if there were 5 chicks left on the planet, and they all had beards and sweaty armpits, you'd eventually come to enjoy bearded smelly women. Not being able to realize that is to not understand how the human brain works.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Easy to say, hard to achieve. Personal preferences are never set in stone, as if they're divorced from the outside world. They're 100% contextual.

I guarantee that if there were 5 chicks left on the planet, and they all had beards and sweaty armpits, you'd eventually come to enjoy bearded smelly women. Not being able to realize that is to not understand how the human brain works.

Maybe how YOUR desperate brain works. Not me. I've been in situations where no good women were available and I just stayed single and watched porn.

You act like men NEED women or they will die. That is not the case. I feel sorry for you if you would bang a 350 pound woman with facial hair because you are so desperate for sex. I guess you would "go gay" too if no women were around right? or start having sex with your dog if no "people" were around right?

Disgusting and Pathetic.

 

[ARrocket]

I got this girl's number from online. I texted her 3 times to set up a date, and kept getting excuses without counter offers. 3 days after my 3rd attempt, she asked me out. I didn't get her back home, but I'll bang her soon.

 

[joker79]

My personal experience is that you should set some boundaries regarding your personal investment in persisting. I treat the girl like an investment in shares: i can lose at the beginning because I don't know really well the share but if i steadily waste money (in our case money = time) without any return for a span of time I DECIDE, i sell the share. It could be difficult if the girl shows hot and cold behaviour to keep you orbiting, I met tons of them, but if you simply balance what you get and what you give.. well this is the indicator of what you can do, next or persist. altought i think that if you're already asking yourself this question, she should be nexted.