Confidence with women Vs. Security

Rex Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
614
Reaction score
2
Location
Midwest
Now I'm not the teaching type, I'm usually the guy that watches people screw up that points and laugh. But this one thing has been irking me, mainly in real life but I see it on this site as well. People thinking that being secure with yourself equates to being confident with women and vice versa.

This seemingly insignicant fallacy is a good reason why a lot of guys are confused. If you don't believe that they are not one in the same look at these real world examples.

1) My cousin bangs plenty of chicks. When he talks he's confident that what he says will work. He's confident in his abilities with women and closing. However, being the close cousin that I am, he admits he has low self esteem. He NEEDS confirmation that people like and accept him to feel worth. He's working on it.

2) One of my best friends who is, to say the least, his own kind of guy. He doesn't care what people think and won't hesitate to go against the crowd if need be. He's a good friend indeed. However, he says some of the DUMBEST things when we're approaching. He has no confidence in his ablilities. Now, if I introduce him, he does better because the woman can see that he is actually secure with himself.

I just decided to type this up for anyone that was confused by such bad advice as 'if you wanna get better with women, don't worry about women, worry about your hobbies'.

The only way to get better with women is to practice getting better with women. No amount of videogame playing or free throw practice shots is gonna get Rex Man some extra dates.

Anyways, I fvcking hate the Vikings now.

GO BEARS!
 

ketostix

Banned
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
3,871
Reaction score
55
Yeah I've thought and realized the same thing for quite some time. There is a distinction between being confident in your own self worth vs. having confidence with women. Like in your example your cousin has low self esteem, but appears confident to women and is successful with women. He's a good and confident actor, while your friend is not. That's why I say appearance and presentation matters. Women aren't mind readers.
 

Rex Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
614
Reaction score
2
Location
Midwest
Yeah, Keto, this definitely affects more areas than guys realize. Even so, your best outfit can't save you if you don't know what you're saying is going to work.

I personally believe this is the main reason for guys that aren't good at approaching. If they can learn that, it would be as easy as pie.
 
Top