Confidence vs. Arrogance

[sirBill]

Hello,

I feel like I walk a fine line between being confident and just outright arrogant sometimes.

Is there a difference, or is being arrogant really a bad thing?

Just curious if you guys sometimes get this same feeling, or if it's something I should even be worried about.

 

[iliketennis]

arrogant people are rude and tasteless, confident people aren't

 

[MusicMan450]

(This is not bragging, merely background for you guys to understand)

I'm a musician, and high school band students have auditions for all-county, all-region, and all-state bands. Naturally, these are for the best in the county, then region, and up to state, to play in.

Me and a good friend of mine were the only ones in our high school to make the All-State band, and I happened to make 1st. Naturally, I became more confident due to this. I practiced more, I listened more, I knew what I needed to improve on, and I knew what I had down pat, even though I know I'm not even close to an amazing musician. It also helps that this was around the time I came to this website and read the Book of Pook.

I felt good about myself, I walked taller, I got more women, I made more friends, and I just got more "out there" socially.

Then, I started getting the warnings, the complaints.

A friend came up to me and said "You need to watch it. People know you're good, they will find ways to make you seem or become arrogant".
A guy who's been a jerk to me since last year has started calling me an arrogant d!ckhead (even though, he's pretty arrogant himself)
Rehearsal banter between this kid have gotten so bad, that he sits there and rants about how bad I am in the middle of me playing, so much that I just have to stop playing and literally ask him "Do you think you can play my instrument? I can't play yours, you can't play mine, shut the hell up".

I don't quite know how to walk this line. I don't ever talk about how good I am. I don't even BELIEVE that I'm that amazing, as there's always improvement to be done....

 

[rocket87]

(This is not bragging, merely background for you guys to understand)

I'm a musician, and high school band students have auditions for all-county, all-region, and all-state bands. Naturally, these are for the best in the county, then region, and up to state, to play in.

Me and a good friend of mine were the only ones in our high school to make the All-State band, and I happened to make 1st. Naturally, I became more confident due to this. I practiced more, I listened more, I knew what I needed to improve on, and I knew what I had down pat, even though I know I'm not even close to an amazing musician. It also helps that this was around the time I came to this website and read the Book of Pook.

I felt good about myself, I walked taller, I got more women, I made more friends, and I just got more "out there" socially.

Then, I started getting the warnings, the complaints.

A friend came up to me and said "You need to watch it. People know you're good, they will find ways to make you seem or become arrogant".
A guy who's been a jerk to me since last year has started calling me an arrogant d!ckhead (even though, he's pretty arrogant himself)
Rehearsal banter between this kid have gotten so bad, that he sits there and rants about how bad I am in the middle of me playing, so much that I just have to stop playing and literally ask him "Do you think you can play my instrument? I can't play yours, you can't play mine, shut the hell up".

I don't quite know how to walk this line. I don't ever talk about how good I am. I don't even BELIEVE that I'm that amazing, as there's always improvement to be done....

cool story bro





:rock:

 

[Jariel]

Arrogance is often a cover for insecurity and most people can see that.

Arrogance generally repels people and in my experience it is much better to be confident, magnetic and charismatic, make people feel good about being with you, encourage the best in them, instead of trying to compete with or act superior to everyone.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

The problem is people will see a confident guy and call him arrogant just because he holds his head high. Your definition of arrogance is going to be different from other guys definition. When a guy calls me an arrogant pr1ck out of frustration I can just see his insecurities getting the best of him. Just be nice and helpful to people when you possibly can.

 

[Chimera]

Here's how it is:

Confidence is being sure of yourself. It's when you get **** done. Other people might be impressed, but it doesn't matter what they think. What matters is that you did what you had to do.

Arrogance is being sure of yourself and pushing it upon other people. It's when you go out of your way to show off what you do in order to elicit a certain response.

 

[sirBill]

Here's how it is:

Confidence is being sure of yourself. It's when you get **** done. Other people might be impressed, but it doesn't matter what they think. What matters is that you did what you had to do.

Arrogance is being sure of yourself and pushing it upon other people. It's when you go out of your way to show off what you do in order to elicit a certain response.

I think you nailed the question I was asking. There's a lot of talk about demonstrating value and making yourself the prize here, it's easy to translate this to "talk yourself up". I think you've got to act in such a way that your accomplishments are self-evident, to put it another way, never verbalize anything!