CONFIDENCE is more important than LOOKS

[Natural Player]

I use my best friend as an example:

we went to college together for 3 years, and I hung out with him alot. He looked below average overall, his body was ok and his face was not good at all........his fashion sense was decent, his hair was average, he was slightly tall at 6'2, but overall, his looks were about a 5...................

however! he was pretty much the most popular guy at my college, EVERYBODY knew him. WHy did they know him??? because he was extremely outgoing, he absolutely partied like a crazy mofo and didn't give a flying **** about what ANYONE thought............i would bring my girlfriends to meet him, and after being around him 15 minutes, theyd tell me how sexy he is and how great of an attitude he has, and that goes for most other girls he met!

he lived in Miami for a while and now is in NY, and either way, he's dated and hooked up with model caliber girls..........i can picture them not really liking how he looks, BUT they love the way he presents himself - EXTREMELY CONFIDENT AND IN TOTAL CONTROL (alpha male right?)

I've read the arguments on here about looks vs personality.............i have a perfect real life example that says that CONFIDENCE will beat out looks any day!!!

and this IS a rare occurance, because guys are almost never as confident as my best friend is..................but if guys actually were confident like this, then this example wouldnt be so rare

its not my fault most guys don't possess this kinda confidence

I really do look up to my best friend, his confidence is ****ing through the charts

 

[Boschy]

Wow, a great and inspirational real life example. I got a boost just reading your post. Thanks for sharing.

 

[PRMoon]

Why why WHY?! Do we keep posting threads about looks? If you've been here for more then a month you KNOW that it's going to end in a shouting match that goes exactly NOWHERE! It's got to be the most retarded thing EVER. It happens all the f*cking time and the results are ALWAYS the same!! GET OVER IT!! Looks is the most two sided subject ever and those who think it's everything will say "looks are everything" and those who don't say "looks are NOT everything" and will hold that thought until they die.

For f*cks sake! I can't believe we keep treading over the same ground over and over and over!

 

[speakeasy]

I think there's a lot of truth to what you say, but keep in mind, confidence and outgoingness combined with average looks will do you okay. But if he was short and fugly, maybe not so successful. Being taller than the average guy probably helped a lot too. I guess you just have to learn to play the hand you were dealt. It sounds like he just had a fun, outgoing personality in general.

 

[backbreaker]

i promise you wutang, the fact that you are 5'8 isn't the reason why you suck at getting women.. don't take this the wrong way.. but YOU are the reason you suck at getting women.

I'm 5'8. you are probably taller than me. I've dated a 6'3 woman before. And that was before I found this site!

a 5'8 man has nothing to worry about. 5'8 is not short. it's not tall by anymeans, but I'm not a midget either. I love my height actually. I don't have a problem shopping for clothes, I can drive any car I want with ease and not be cramped....

a woman that won't date you becaue you are not over 6 feet... and I promise you there aren't many that won't date you for that sole reason, aren't worth dating anyway.

my old oneitis had a 3Y realstionship with a 5'4 guy. over me.

 

[Natural Player]

any short fugly guy can go to the gym and make his body look good at the very least. And also can cover up bad facial features with facial hair, bad hair with hats, paleness with fake tanning

there is Always a way to improve ones looks to be at least sufficiently average

 

[jesusrules]

yeah thats what im kinda lacking i admit. it would be nice to have that though.

 

[ElStud]

Well yeah. If it wasn't, guys like Mystery would have a hard time getting laid.

 

[tmpgstx]

BUT they love the way he presents himself - EXTREMELY CONFIDENT AND IN TOTAL CONTROL (alpha male right?)

Extremely outgoing and confident as to not give a fvck is not true confidence. It is often the opposite, very low confidence. It is mistaken as confidence by alot of people. Usually more impressionable people are subjective to this.

True confidence is accomplishing goals and knowing you will achieve them.

 

[Nighthawk]

Height is very important. I didn't make the rules.

 

[bigjohnson]

I'm 5'8. .... 5'8 is not short.

For the US 5'9 is average for males and one inch either way is well within the fat part of the curve - guys from 5'7 to about 5'11 or so are "average" and despite what the world sometimes tells us, most people are truly average in most ways. I'm just a hair over 5'9 and I agree that it's nice that "stuff fits" such as cars, clothes, and home furnishings. The only problem I have is that a lot of clothes are made for slight or non-athletic people so I have issues getting suits to fit without severe tailoring.

Having said all that, chicks often seem to dig slightly taller guys, but they also dig strong guys so it works OK for me - I think the tall/strong thing is part of the same urge for them really.

 

[Natural Player]

Extremely outgoing and confident as to not give a fvck is not true confidence. It is often the opposite, very low confidence. It is mistaken as confidence by alot of people. Usually more impressionable people are subjective to this.

True confidence is accomplishing goals and knowing you will achieve them.

you misread it all

 

[tmpgstx]

No, don't think i did. I know someone like this. He has that *don't give a fvck* attitude that is very outspoken to the point where it is often very annoying. He parties day and day out. He now weighs 300lbs and doesn't wear a shirt while out in the yard .doesn't give a fvck.

Do you think he is truely confident? It is more about being rebellious than being confident. He's been with around 100 girls, but mainly because alcohol opens up the flood gates and he projects fun by doing wild and crazy things.

I don't think he's ever been with a quality girl.

 

[Natural Player]

No, don't think i did. I know someone like this. He has that *don't give a fvck* attitude that is very outspoken to the point where it is often very annoying. He parties day and day out. He now weighs 300lbs and doesn't wear a shirt while out in the yard .doesn't give a fvck.

Do you think he is truely confident? It is more about being rebellious than being confident. He's been with around 100 girls, but mainly because alcohol opens up the flood gates and he projects fun by doing wild and crazy things.

I don't think he's ever been with a quality girl.

no my best friend isnt annoying at all - he's assertive and simply confident, this is why he is friends with literally EVERYONE and there is no one who can say a bad thing about him. Also, he doesn't sleep around cuz he does way too many other things, but whenever he wants a girl who's high quality, he gets her!

he gets most of them in Miami and NY, and he actually told me that where we go to college, the girls are below his standards (college is in boston)

 

[John-467]

I haven't been around this site in a long while and it seems like it's getting worse and worse as the day goes long.

- I think for the most part the guys that have "got it" no longer contribute here and the lack of quality discussions lowers.

- I think the remaining guys here are still "trying to get it" in some fashion, or are the long term vets like Fransciso and LMS, and only post to contribute the same messages they have been preaching for years. The rest are guys that think for some reason their "threads" can help some of these other guys succeed with women....the fact of the matter is if those guys would just read information that's already been posted and go out the apply the knowledge, they will develop their own styles and be fine. There's no more need to preach anything else, all that needs to be done now is to apply.

Natural Player regarding your topic, this entire topic has been beat to hell. People have been banned (myself included) over this topic, half of the people here say, "Looks mean it all," the other half say, "Looks don't matter than much," at the end of the day both sides are saying the same damn thing!

The looks mean it all side is really saying - You guys need to have more confidence in yourselves, work out, dress better, present yourself in a better way, because women are judgin you based on how you look.

The looks don't matter much side is saying - You guys need to have more confidence in yourselves, have a great personality, be sexual, this will lead to more women.

Both sides are really saying the same damn thing and that's HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF.

When you have confidence in yourself, you will AUTOMATICALLY dress better, work out more, present yourself better physically. This is the effect of increased confidence!

You also will AUTOMATICALLY be more comfortable around women, not afraid to be sexual, not afraid to approach, etc.

Both sides are correct, and the underlying thesis of both sides is that one must have confidence in theirselves.......

For the record, IT ALL MATTERS. It's about a complete package, not having sexual state but dressing like an azz. And it's not about looking like Scott Steiner but having no sexual state and being a complete weirdo. It's a complete package.....

1. It's starts with inner confidence.
2. From there it leads to inner abilities and peace...like joy, sexual state, not afraid to socialize and approach. Also more self-esteem, higher dreams and goals for your life, etc.
3. From there it leads to outer qualities, like working out more, getting a better job to have more money, getting a better looking car, dressing better, presenting yourself better.

It Starts with Confidence, and it ends with a complete package.

You develop Confidence either 2 ways:

1. You wait for an accomplishment to happen in your life and you built on that.

2. You accept yourself and believe that you are "worthy" of something better and start there.

Either way, you start at accepthing that you are "worthy" of the best, and thus you start to CHANGE.

-DJF

 

[Natural Player]

DJF, I agree with you.

Let me state that IT ALL MATTERS, total agreement there.

However for those who are down on themselves for not having been blessed with good looks, well, they are the ones who need to see this, because with unstoppable confidence, looks wont matter as much to women.

I also must say that a guy with his looks that had less confidence would most likely be a loser virgin chump. It's true that having crazy amounts of confidence helps overshadow not so good looks....but if u dont have that kinda confidence, then your ugly looks will stick out and you won't be reelin in the sexy ladies

My friend is also very sexual with girls when he is alone with them, he's got the sexual state down when he needs it!

 

[Mr. Unique]

The reason you see more tall guys with hot girls than short guys is because most short guys have a short guy mentality.

give a short guy a tall guys brain or confidence and with some game he will get laid like gene simmons.

Giva a tall guy a short guys brain and he will most likely become a chode.

Its just like the confident goodlooking guys. They are confident because they are goodlooking so they get laid but they think theyre getting laid because of there looks when really it was their ****y or confident attitude that got them laid.

IOW Height or looks does not matter, Its the mentality of it that matters.

 

[Natural Player]

is it also the LOOK that matters, not the LOOKS

aka how you present yourself

 

[KneghtRyder]

Height is very important. I didn't make the rules.

kinda like asking..did the chicken or the egg come first ? Did you get the confidence from the height, or was it because you had the height that gave you confidence..

 

[John-467]

You're right Natural Player, but again with the various perceptions of the posters here....many will argue you down and you will defend your stance, but the overall thesis is still the same.

HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELVES. LOVE YOURSELVES.

The Looks Matter crowd don't ness. mean by their statement of, "Looks is everything," that the BEST LOOKING guy always will win. To quote, God of Getting Laid who is perhaps the King of the Looks Matter boys, "What Looks good to a particular girl determines how good you look."

You can associate great looks with things like:

great face
great body
nice dresser
nice car

Again, great looks, the overall outside package.

But again, there's no person that knows that they "look good" who doesn't have CONFIDENCE, and if that person would lose their CONFIDENCE, they would also lose their LOOKS, because they wouldn't be inclined to present themselves in their best light as often.

On the flipside, to the Looks Don't Matter that much side, they tend to spend more time on the sexual state, being a man, not afraid to approach side of things......but again lol, we come back to the same thesis....

If the person KNOWS HOW TO TURN A WOMAN ON with their personality, sexual state, and other inner game abilities, without Confidence or love for themseleves, they wont' USE IT AS OFTEN or use it that much.

So when a person develops true confidence, they tend to do BOTH THINGS!
- They will present themselves and look great all the time, they will work out, fix their faces as best as possible, get a better car, a better job, LOOKS.
- They will be more sexual, use 2 seconds rules not 3 second rules lol, use their personalities, etc. INNER GAME.

Confidence brings forth the manifestion of both sides. No Confidence, while still having the Looks or the inner game, will lead to not using your "assets" much or in the best of light.....which lowers your success.

And again, you can get confidence from a result of having something or having achieved someting, or you can get confidence from just accepting and believing that you are "worth" something of value.

Either way, once you have confidence, you will use your greatest assets to their best of abilities! Not everybody is as skilled in inner game abilities, some just are great looking guys that use that to their advantage. Then some aren't as great looking, they are presentable but not as great looks like GQ, but they are more skilled in the inner game abilities. Then some guys are in the middle of both, some guys use both very well, then lol there's some guys who dont' look as great and aren't as skilled in the inner game.

However, without any great looks or great inner game abilities, just having confidence in yourself and targeting the right group of women in the marketplace will lead to success....because majority of quality women are just sitting home bored as hell looking for just any type of "ok" guy to come and make their lives a bit more enjoyable.

- DJF