Confidence, and looks.

doctor1996

doctor1996

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hello guys,

I am always very self-conscious regarding the things I wear or in my abilities. I do think I am smart, but GPA is not a measure of intelligence. I have a 3.96. However, do you think females are turned off by intelligent individuals? And why do they go after jerks? And how do I increase my confidence?

I am not confident to the point where, I don't Have any pictures on social media, and I take off my sweater thinking it looks weird and people looking at me.

Additionally, while casually walking, I see girls looking at me. But, are they looking at how ugly I am? Or wondering why is this weirdo looking at me? Or if they're interested? How can I tell?

I really want to get into a relationship before medical school.

Thank you
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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how do I increase my confidence?

You asked several questions, but that question is the most important. It is the root issue of your problem. If you have confidence, everything else will fall into place.

I really want to get into a relationship

Let's strike that thought out of your mind for now, ok? If you had a lot of confidence, you would probably be thinking the opposite, that you don't want to get stuck with any one girl who drags you down. By contrast, when you have little confidence, you think any relationship is going to pull you up, which leads you into bad relationships.

Good luck in med school. I have seen a lot of doctors have their financial lives destroyed by divorce. Don't marry the first gold-digger who comes along. There will be a lot of them in your future.
 
doctor1996

doctor1996

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Bible_Belt said:
how do I increase my confidence?

You asked several questions, but that question is the most important. It is the root issue of your problem. If you have confidence, everything else will fall into place.

I really want to get into a relationship

Let's strike that thought out of your mind for now, ok? If you had a lot of confidence, you would probably be thinking the opposite, that you don't want to get stuck with any one girl who drags you down. By contrast, when you have little confidence, you think any relationship is going to pull you up, which leads you into bad relationships.

Good luck in med school. I have seen a lot of doctors have their financial lives destroyed by divorce. Don't marry the first gold-digger who comes along. There will be a lot of them in your future.
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So what should I do? Forget about trying to get into a relationship?
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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Forget about trying to get into a relationship?

Yes. Trying for a relationship is female behavior. If a man is doing it, I think it often has to do with self-image issues such as your own. Regardless, you're going to make poor choices. You're going to wife up the first skank who comes along, if you really believe that you don't deserve any better.
 
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byers90

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Being intelligent is an absolutely good thing - you are in school, you want to be getting good grades so then you get a good job, etc. Keep it up - medical school is a great aim. Honestly that should be your priority above anything else, even girls.

Anyway, the problem(s) that you have are all in your head. You mention women staring at you but it just HAS to be because you are ugly or look weird - this line of thinking is not only false but will be the end of you socially, romantically, even professionally believe it or not (generally you don't want to care what people think). They could very well be looking at you because they think you are handsome....but you might say how can that be? How could you say that? Well how can you say that the opposite is true, that they find you ugly? You can't. You see you are cooking this stuff up and there is no reason to be that way. You just need to do some internal plumbing and then everything will fall into place. If you think you are ugly, go out on a weekend and observe the couples walking around - you'll more often then not see very nice looking women with average guys, some even below average (although that appears that way to you). You know why that is? Because not every woman has the preference in men. I know you've been bombarded with all the bull**** on tv and social media about what an "attractive" man is, but it means **** in real life. Yes, if you are fat and have terrible fashion sense- change those things but don't worry about your facial structure or any kind of crap like that.
 
doctor1996

doctor1996

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byers90 said:
Being intelligent is an absolutely good thing - you are in school, you want to be getting good grades so then you get a good job, etc. Keep it up - medical school is a great aim. Honestly that should be your priority above anything else, even girls.

Anyway, the problem(s) that you have are all in your head. You mention women staring at you but it just HAS to be because you are ugly or look weird - this line of thinking is not only false but will be the end of you socially, romantically, even professionally believe it or not (generally you don't want to care what people think). They could very well be looking at you because they think you are handsome....but you might say how can that be? How could you say that? Well how can you say that the opposite is true, that they find you ugly? You can't. You see you are cooking this stuff up and there is no reason to be that way. You just need to do some internal plumbing and then everything will fall into place. If you think you are ugly, go out on a weekend and observe the couples walking around - you'll more often then not see very nice looking women with average guys, some even below average (although that appears that way to you). You know why that is? Because not every woman has the preference in men. I know you've been bombarded with all the bull**** on tv and social media about what an "attractive" man is, but it means **** in real life. Yes, if you are fat and have terrible fashion sense- change those things but don't worry about your facial structure or any kind of crap like that.
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I honestly just want to get laid. Even though my confidence is lackluster, I can still get numbers, but fail miserably after that. Don't know why.
 
guru1000

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doctor1996 said:
Yes that is one of my motives. And it does not seem to be working. How many girls do I have to be rejected by? I am counting 4 this whole semester.
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4? That’s a rookie number. Get those numbers up.
 
Sneaky Pete

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doctor1996 said:
I'll keep trying!
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Do keep trying - it's a law of averages - you can't make the game winning basket if you don't take the shot. Don't get bothered by rejection - take it like water off a ducks back and just keep going forward.
 
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There is always a girl for one, do not worry soon you will find her, you just have to start being yourself and talk to them, soon one will notice you
 
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