Confession of a cheater.....it's not worth it

[PlayHer Man]

Look at this, something I can absolutely agree with.

When I say "isn't that simple" I'm saying this in regards to dynamic elements in a relationship. Where you say there's absolutely no benefit to being in one I say there is, as well as giving out examples.

I don't think I've ever said on this forum to be in a relationship at your own expense, to cater to a woman. I wholeheartedly agree with what you say!! If anything I've said be with a woman who complements and caters to your needs, who will enhance your life if you desire a relationship. If a woman is doing more harm than good of course you should drop her.

If you don't want to commit to one woman, don't. I just disagree with you on the stringing her along if you don't want to commit part. That's all.

99% percent of modern women deserve to be "strung along" by men.

I'll bet money just about every woman you know has strong a man along at some point for their own gain. Women generally like to keep the possibility of sex in the air so they can exploit betas. Every hot girl has a long line of moronic betas that "hook her up":

-Free drugs
-Free drinks
-Free meals
-Promotions
-Raises
-Jobs
-Deals
-Front of the line at a club
-Free travel
-Moving furniture
-Fix her car
-Fix her computer

Do you believe these women get so much handed to them because men are just so nice? NO... those beta idiots actually think they have a chance in hell of f*cking these women and they only believe that because the women don't make it obvious that they have no chance in hell.

If women can play the game of ambiguity then why can't men? Why can't we hint at the possibility that we might offer something we know we never will?

Don't lose sleep over how I treat women ThunderMaverick. No woman is losing sleep over how her fellow females treat men. I can promise you that.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

99% percent of modern women deserve to be "strung along" by men.

I'll bet money just about every woman you know has strong a man along at some point for their own gain. Women generally like to keep the possibility of sex in the air so they can exploit betas. Every hot girl has a long line of moronic betas that "hook her up":

-Free drugs
-Free drinks
-Free meals
-Promotions
-Raises
-Jobs
-Deals
-Front of the line at a club
-Free travel
-Moving furniture
-Fix her car
-Fix her computer

Do you believe these women get so much handed to them because men are just so nice? NO... those beta idiots actually think they have a chance in hell of f*cking these women and they only believe that because the women don't make it obvious that they have no chance in hell.

If women can play the game of ambiguity then why can't men? Why can't we hint at the possibility that we might offer something we know we never will?

Don't lose sleep over how I treat women ThunderMaverick. No woman is losing sleep over how her fellow females treat men. I can promise you that.

It seems we are talking about two different things.
Every problem in the description of these women can be solved by not being involved with them. Every woman is not relationship material, but many are.

There are women out there who don't display these qualities that you're describing. I've met women (and been with) who have been supportive, caring, interesting to be around and sexually willing at most times. You're talking about women who use men for their own truly selfish gains because they see men as a resource. I'm not talking about those women.

I'm talking about pulling the trigger too early and making a judgement call on a woman who has yet to prove herself. If I assumed every girl was like the first girl I ever hooked up with, I'd be missing out on some good times. I'm not into telling guys here that every woman is a skank who waits outside the supper club to get in for free. Did you know there are a lot of women out there who hate clubs, drugs, and drinking?

I'm not losing sleep over this. Again, this is a discussion board and I'm talking about the subject at hand. I'm talking about the dangers of applying generalizations to a minority.

 

[instantnoodles]

I swear the Thunder guy is a troll. :crackup:

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I swear the Thunder guy is a troll. :crackup:

"the Thunder guy"?

duhhh...

How am I being a troll? I'm having a discussion: agreeing with some things and not agreeing with others.

 

[PlayHer Man]

It seems we are talking about two different things.
Every problem in the description of these women can be solved by not being involved with them. Every woman is not relationship material, but many are.

There are women out there who don't display these qualities that you're describing. I've met women (and been with) who have been supportive, caring, interesting to be around and sexually willing at most times.

So what happened? If these women were so f*cking "awesome" then why are you NOT still with them? :crackup: :crackup:

I can get into all the details of why your whole "You're just meeting the wrong women" argument is bullsh!t, but I'm ready to move on from this discussion.

If I want to date a whale or a woman over 40 I'm sure I can find someone with the qualities you describe.

 

[smooth_as_silk]

So what happened? If these women were so f*cking "awesome" then why are you NOT still with them? :crackup: :crackup:

I can get into all the details of why you're whole "You're just meeting the wrong women" argument is bullsh!t, but I'm ready to move on from this discussion.

If I want to date a whale or a woman over 40 I'm sure I can find someone with the qualities you describe.

Ha ha ha way to go... Thunder, it's a lost battle...

 

[ThunderMaverick]

So what happened? If these women were so f*cking "awesome" then why are you NOT still with them? :crackup: :crackup:

I can get into all the details of why you're whole "You're just meeting the wrong women" argument is bullsh!t, but I'm ready to move on from this discussion.

If I want to date a whale or a woman over 40 I'm sure I can find someone with the qualities you describe.

Because I still had/have growing to do. Because we found out there were other things that didn't make us compatible. Because we were too far from each other. Because, no matter what she did for me, I just didn't vibe with her on a level I'd be completely comfortable with. It wasn't because she wanted free drinks or used me to move her furniture. I've dated girls like that and at certain points in my life, that was perfect for me. Other times I wanted more, and I got it. Did I expect the relationship to last forever or even want that? I didn't assume it would be forever. lol It wasn't a miserable time or a waste either. There was a wealth of information that I gained.

I wasn't afraid of getting into a relationship to a girl that met my criteria by assuming she'd be the same a f*ck buddy I met at a bar. That would have been stupid.

In my own experience I've learned more about women by being with them, not just fu<king them.

And yeah, you might be meeting the wrong women, depending on what you want. I'm ready for a discussion on that if you are.


also, I'll leave this post here by Victory Unlimited:

The SoSuave Pentagon Hearing on ALTERNATIVE VIEWPOINTS:





"Alternative views CAN be very valuable for us here. Sometimes, the injection of an alternate viewpoint can serve a variety of purposes:

1. Alternative views can cause posters who have a rather extremist view on some things to adopt a more holistic perception of the subject at hand. And subsequently, that original poster may see some value in taking a more "nuianced" and less "balls to the wall" approach to that topic than he would have considered taking before. Thus, bettering HIMSELF, inadvertantly.

Extremism in ANY direction is usually a one-way ticket to either eventual failure, self-sabotage, or self-destruction.

2. Alternate viewpoints that strike a blow that FREES the hearts and minds of readers who may need to be delivered from the prison of "HERO or HEROINE Worship" is ultimately, A GOOD THING. An alternate viewpoint can help us realize that ownership of COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE is the sole property of NO ONE. We can all learn something from each other (whether the lesson be positive or negative)----and we can benefit in some way as the result of this.

And once we realize THIS----we can move on in the realization that many of us are NOT here for the purposes of trying to be "JUST LIKE", or "EVEN BETTER", than our heroes----but to use our "heroes'" accomplishments as inspiration to accomplish things of our own----to BETTER "OURSELVES".

Ultimately, Soldiers, we should want to be our OWN goddammed HEROES, shouldn't we???

3. Lastly, the "invasion" of alternate viewpoints can sometimes reveal personal, deep-seated issues that MAY exist within those who "read" them----and take serious issue with them. Many times when there is a vehement, overly heated, or damn near VIOLENT reaction to an alternate viewpoint-----it can be an indicator that the person who reacts this way is either too unhealthily extreme and/or too emotionally invested in his own views, OR, is too unhealthily extreme and/or too emotionally invested in actively "hating on" the person who had the sheer audacity to express that alternate viewpoint.

And when this happens, alternative views are then ONLY seen as OPPOSING-----and the WAR OF THE WORDS begins...

Either way, nothing reveals how sensitive a "VIEWPOINT NERVE" really is until it's actually "touched" in some way. Whether it be bitterness from past hurts, the shock from seeing a sudden flash of light that reveals the evidence of having a severe case of tunnelvision, or simply an ingrained, adverse reaction to WHO or WHAT that poster represents to them-----the results remain the same for the offended party:

Intelligent discussion takes a BACK SEAT, emotional equilibrium is lost, while PRIDE, EGO, AND BLIND PASSION all struggle to grab THE WHEEL-----each fighting for control----each trying to steer the conversation in a direction that will ultimately benefit NO ONE.

So, no matter WHAT the poster who posts an alternative view may have initially meant to accomplish, how we process what has been "said" still remains OUR OWN individual choice.

I would only ask that we all show greater dilligence in excersizing our awareness------so that we may CHOOSE WISELY, soldiers.


Peace...one day."

 

[49au]

PHM,

Not to nitpick, but to you fear and laziness are the only drivers for monogamy. I was talking about another motivation altogether. Call it efficiency, prioritization, practicality, I don't know. But it's not always laziness or fear that drives monogamy.

I also get the overall tone from your post that there is a very damaged ego somewhere in there, who views any kind of compromise as a complete annihilation of a man's independence. Compromise can be a legitimate part of healthy adult relationships, it doesn't make you less of a man.

With that said, I want to emphasize that I think monogamy is a decision that is up to each individual, and it should be flexible according to his situation at the time.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Because I still had/have growing to do. Because we found out there were other things that didn't make us compatible. Because we were too far from each other. Because, no matter what she did for me, I just didn't vibe with her on a level I'd be completely comfortable with. It wasn't because she wanted free drinks or used me to move her furniture. I've dated girls like that and at certain points in my life, that was perfect for me. Other times I wanted more, and I got it. Did I expect the relationship to last forever or even want that? I didn't assume it would be forever. lol It wasn't a miserable time or a waste either. There was a wealth of information that I gained.

I wasn't afraid of getting into a relationship to a girl that met my criteria by assuming she'd be the same a f*ck buddy I met at a bar. That would have been stupid.

In my own experience I've learned more about women by being with them, not just fu<king them.

And yeah, you might be meeting the wrong women, depending on what you want. I'm ready for a discussion on that if you are.


also, I'll leave this post here by Victory Unlimited:

So ThunderMaverick.. there is a post from you in another thread that says the following:

Originally Posted by ThunderMaverick
The issue I take is equating "safe" with "beta". Committed automatically means safe. This is utter bullsh!t.

For you young impressionable guys just absorbing all of this information but are still completely lost, I'll tell you the difference between "safe" and "confident" in a relationship

Safe relationship:
When a man says YES to everything his girlfriend or wife says
When a man doesn't stand up to his wife or girlfriend when he has an issue
When a man pays for everything and gets nothing in return
When a man makes sacrifices draining his time, energy and dreams for his girlfriend or wife.

Which usually results in your wife or GF displaying these behaviors:
Nagging
Disrespect
Complacency - boredom
Creating distance
Cheating

One must ask the question --> Are you really with a "good woman" if she will treat you poorly just because she can get away with it?

When you take away consequences.. THAT'S when you see a woman's true character. Beta fags often take away consequences from women...so those women take advantage. So that makes them BAD women in by book. A good women would do what's right regardless how much her partner lets her get away with.

Am I saying women should be attracted to beta fags? NOPE. But they definitely shouldn't nag, disrespect, or exploit them just because they can get away with it. That makes them lousy women.

These are the women you are defending, while you cry over me leading women on. Why do you care what happens to some woman I date?

 

[PlayHer Man]

PHM,

Not to nitpick, but to you fear and laziness are the only drivers for monogamy. I was talking about another motivation altogether. Call it efficiency, prioritization, practicality, I don't know. But it's not always laziness or fear that drives monogamy.

I also get the overall tone from your post that there is a very damaged ego somewhere in there, who views any kind of compromise as a complete annihilation of a man's independence. Compromise can be a legitimate part of healthy adult relationships, it doesn't make you less of a man.

With that said, I want to emphasize that I think monogamy is a decision that is up to each individual, and it should be flexible according to his situation at the time.

Listen.. any reason a man chooses monogamy outside of FEAR is fine by me. But if he is monogamous because he is afraid of losing her then he is a faggot.

This is so simple.. yet I have to repeat it 500 times. :crackup: :crackup:

I don't know why so many people have a issue with maintaining silent. Just don't discuss. Just an ego and a energy factor, I assume.

Do you realize the irony of that post? :crackup: :crackup:

If that's what you believe.. then why are you talking?

v
v
v

 

[chelsey55]

I don't know why so many people have a issue with maintaining silent. Just don't discuss. Just an ego and a energy factor, I assume.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

So ThunderMaverick.. there is a post from you in another thread that says the following:



One must ask the question --> Are you really with a "good woman" if she will treat you poorly just because she can get away with it?

When have I ever said to let a woman get away with bad behavior? If anything I've shared what types of behaviors to avoid and not put up with. You tend to think every woman is the same when it comes to bad behavior. My own experience, and the experience of other vets here will tell you that's not true.

When you take away consequences.. THAT'S when you see a woman's true character. Beta fags often take away consequences from women...so those women take advantage. So that makes them BAD women in by book. A good women would do what's right regardless how much her partner lets her get away with.

Am I saying women should be attracted to beta fags? NOPE. But they definitely shouldn't nag, disrespect, or exploit them just because they can get away with it. That makes them lousy women.

That post you quoted me on was me giving an example of a BAD relationship - one a guy needs to walk away from. I don't know why we're arguing this point because we agree with each other.

These are the women you are defending, while you cry over me leading women on. Why do you care what happens to some woman I date?

No, I've never once defended a woman's bad behavior. Again, show me where I said that. I didn't. The YOU leading women on part doesn't bother me. That's at your own peril. The issue I have, and will always have, is you telling other impressionable guys who don't know any better to do the same without looking at more positive alternatives.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

PHM,

Not to nitpick, but to you fear and laziness are the only drivers for monogamy. I was talking about another motivation altogether. Call it efficiency, prioritization, practicality, I don't know. But it's not always laziness or fear that drives monogamy.

I also get the overall tone from your post that there is a very damaged ego somewhere in there, who views any kind of compromise as a complete annihilation of a man's independence. Compromise can be a legitimate part of healthy adult relationships, it doesn't make you less of a man.

With that said, I want to emphasize that I think monogamy is a decision that is up to each individual, and it should be flexible according to his situation at the time.

Good stuff! You get it. :yes:

 

[BeDJ]

First off let me say - to each his own. Trying to convince a commitment-prone man to the non-monogamous life is like fitting a square piece into a circle slot. The following is why men enter relationships:

- Fear of loss
- First time experience
- Convenience
- Laziness
- Steady supply of sex
- Thinking this is as good as it gets
- Everyone else is

The advantages of spinning plates FAR outweigh those of being in a relationship, given the man has the ability to generate options. Especially for men our age, improving our game being single provides great experience than doing it in a relationship. The opportunities are limitless. Women will always try to have men compromise the important aspects of his life to cater to her needs. You are giving her more power to do in a relationship. Even when the relationship is not as expected, men will try to reason it was the right thing to do in the first place. Commitment is a very risky strategy for a mans' overall well-being once you understand female hypergamy, solipsism and war brides dynamic.

Not worth it, dudes.

 

[potato]

99% percent of modern women deserve to be "strung along" by men.

I'll bet money just about every woman you know has strong a man along at some point for their own gain. Women generally like to keep the possibility of sex in the air so they can exploit betas. Every hot girl has a long line of moronic betas that "hook her up":

-Free drugs
-Free drinks
-Free meals
-Promotions
-Raises
-Jobs
-Deals
-Front of the line at a club
-Free travel
-Moving furniture
-Fix her car
-Fix her computer

Do you believe these women get so much handed to them because men are just so nice? NO... those beta idiots actually think they have a chance in hell of f*cking these women and they only believe that because the women don't make it obvious that they have no chance in hell.

If women can play the game of ambiguity then why can't men? Why can't we hint at the possibility that we might offer something we know we never will?

Don't lose sleep over how I treat women ThunderMaverick. No woman is losing sleep over how her fellow females treat men. I can promise you that.

I am so glad I am reading this. I have been telling guys for a long time that I get hot women by acting like one of them. What you, PlayHer Man, wrote is a point that I’ve wanted to make yet never quite articulated. I subtly flirt with most women and many that take the bait I tend to string on, often for years. Any woman who withholds sex from me quickly learns I can get it elsewhere – often from another woman who I’ve been coming on to but never quite taking her home. I’m a big tease, I learned it from strippers. Ever act like a stripper to a stripper? It can make them want you real bad - enough to make them beg.

The advantage of stringing women along is that they will often do things for you that they would not normally do for anyone else. For instance:

-Retake my picture at the DMV until it looks nice.
-Serve me extra food at the Deli.
-Take me along when she is getting another guy to let her (and me) in free or at least go to the head of the line.
-Give me marijuana.
-Secretaries who will give me access to her boss or perhaps help expedite what her boss is holding up – even if she has to go behind his back to do it.
-See that I get invited to parties and other such events.
-Sew for me, that is, mend my clothes.
-Provide for me a wonderful reference.
-Offer to let me buy stuff with their employee discount.
-Lie to the police or other authorities.
-Take me out with the money that she just sweet talked some beta out of.
-etc.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I am so glad I am reading this. I have been telling guys for a long time that I get hot women by acting like one of them. What you, PlayHer Man, wrote is a point that I’ve wanted to make yet never quite articulated. I subtly flirt with most women and many that take the bait I tend to string on, often for years. Any woman who withholds sex from me quickly learns I can get it elsewhere – often from another woman who I’ve been coming on to but never quite taking her home. I’m a big tease, I learned it from strippers. Ever act like a stripper to a stripper? It can make them want you real bad - enough to make them beg.

The advantage of stringing women along is that they will often do things for you that they would not normally do for anyone else. For instance:

-Retake my picture at the DMV until it looks nice.
-Serve me extra food at the Deli.
-Take me along when she is getting another guy to let her (and me) in free or at least go to the head of the line.
-Give me marijuana.
-Secretaries who will give me access to her boss or perhaps help expedite what her boss is holding up – even if she has to go behind his back to do it.
-See that I get invited to parties and other such events.
-Sew for me, that is, mend my clothes.
-Provide for me a wonderful reference.
-Offer to let me buy stuff with their employee discount.
-Lie to the police or other authorities.
-Take me out with the money that she just sweet talked some beta out of.
-etc.

Wow.. this is like talking to myself.

You sir, are a man who gets it. You understand the game.

Most men miss out on lots of great opportunities because of white knighting, pedestalizing or moralizing. Such a waste of time. :crazy:

 

[VikingKing]

I swear to christ. You retards who talk sh!t about phm, your either a female, or a beta. I've noticed the men that talk sh!t to phm, are from Canada or the uk. Weird huh?

Any way, phm's posts are agressive, and harsh, but thats what it takes to pound it into peoples heads.

Now if you have a quality woman ( which is rare, most women are sh!t) you can tone it down a bit, but his posts still apply.

Instant noodles, you would love to fvck phm. Its obvious, you get so mad.

 

[VikingKing]

First off let me say - to each his own. Trying to convince a commitment-prone man to the non-monogamous life is like fitting a square piece into a circle slot. The following is why men enter relationships:

- Fear of loss
- First time experience
- Convenience
- Laziness
- Steady supply of sex
- Thinking this is as good as it gets
- Everyone else is

The advantages of spinning plates FAR outweigh those of being in a relationship, given the man has the ability to generate options. Especially for men our age, improving our game being single provides great experience than doing it in a relationship. The opportunities are limitless. Women will always try to have men compromise the important aspects of his life to cater to her needs. You are giving her more power to do in a relationship. Even when the relationship is not as expected, men will try to reason it was the right thing to do in the first place. Commitment is a very risky strategy for a mans' overall well-being once you understand female hypergamy, solipsism and war brides dynamic.

Not worth it, dudes.

Yep I entered my last relationship because

-she bought me beer and cigs and drugs
-she did what ever I want, put me on a pedastil
-I was kicked out of my parents, live at my buddies mom's (when he was int he joint) and needed some where to go.
-she had a car, would drive 6 hours to see me.
-I was lazy
-Tired of be alone
-It was very convenient
-all the sex I wanted


One time she looked at me, when i was being aloof and just being cool she said to me "you are so man." I thought to myself, I know.
I would just tell her what she wants to hear, and do what I want. But after a while of being a jerk and a user, i started to feel guilty, went afc.

 

[VikingKing]

And phm, stop even arguing, your allowing yourself to get sucked into these dramatic arguments. Dude your posts are right, and gold. Any one who disagrees who gives a fvck. You don't need to explain yourself, or convince any one of anything.

Make your posts, the rational men will either say nothing, or agree, the retards, betas and women will cry and argue.

 

[Zdog]

You seem to think shaming men for finding benefits in a relationship more of a pass than questioning someone's credibility.

I've been a member of this board for several years now, and I've seen content like PHMs come and go without saying a word. A new member would post his issues, have a different idea and would always be met with nonconstructive "beta" and "fag" ad hominem attacks. (apparently that gets a pass from you...why?) PHM speaks in many different areas of the manosphere, things I agree with. Some things I don't. The things I don't agree with I am very vocal about it.

You're right, we all come here seeking advice, NOT be be attacked, especially when those attacks include certain things that don't add up. At this point in time, as a member of this board, I am holding feet to the fire. There are too many guys here who come to this site for the right reasons, and take certain information here and use it out of ignorance, thinking it's gold.

Most of PHM's philosophy usually circles back to "faggot" "slave of women" talk when it isn't that simple or if someone doesn't agree wit him (again, you say nothing of this, making it seem like I have no reason to scrutinize). Most vets here know it isn't that simple. So yes, lately I've had a pit bull grip questioning someone's experience here. There were men here who have shared experience to backup their sound viewpoints (Rollo, Jophil, Backbreaker, Desdinova, Colossus) or guys just as crass but don't run their arguments in circles ( (.)(.), for example. ).

Lately if I feel someone is being disingenuous on these boards I'm going to say something about it. I'm going to counter and question.

Those who don't like it can either put me on ignore or challenge me. That's what these forums are about anyways: sharing philosophies and finding which one is beneficial to your own lives.

Dude, I don't really care. I think it's fine to disagree with the guy, but the point that he made I think was valid: You kept asking him if he had "relationship experience". Who cares? A guy might get his feelings hurt because an overgrown frat boy likes to throw nasty words around? Give me a break.