Hello everyone,
This is my first post here, and although I've read through few SoSuave articles/posts here and there, I never really thought I'd register and post something.
I came into a situation, if one could say so, and alas, I'd like to share it and ask for an advice.
First, a little background; I have not had a long term relationship for past 4 or so years - I had a girlfriend that lost her virginity with me, we've been together for two years or so, we loved each other, she died. Since that happened, I've reinvented myself, transformed if you will. Became a lot better at, well, everything (to that point where girls say "how come you don't have a girlfriend, are you gay?"), and I've had a fair share of one night stands. Which, was pretty much all I had - I would just find a girl on a night out, get back to mine/hers, have sex, and apart from few exceptions, never see or hear from them again, would not even remember their name. I needed 4 years to actually move on and stop thinking about the girlfriend I had.
Enter the current situation.
Some time ago, I've met a girl, she seemed nice, we had mutual friends and since she was giving me signs, I took her for a date. She loved it, I got scared that I will like her and pretty much sabotaged the date and ran away, hah.
We spoke a few times afterwards, and not too long ago we bumped into each other again and went for a coffee. At this point I should probably state that if she's not 10, she's as close as it gets to it. Extremely good looking, and extremely intelligent, kind hearted and great with kids/dogs, with flocks of guys running after her every whim. So, we had great time, and although I was being just friendly, she again gave me signs, so I invited her to a party I was going to few days later and she got very excited. She flaked and didn't come to the party (although, I'd gather she had a semi-valid reason), was apologetic so I gave her another chance and we met up again.
Now the funny bit. When I walked her home to her door, I went for the friend hug and said bye. All the time we spent together, I was not trying to seduce her at all, I wasn't even sure what I was doing (we did have some great time, though). Either way, 2 minutes after saying bye, I get the weirdest urge, and call her. She doesn't pick up, so I head home, ripping a hole in my jacket by hitting a tree branch, and when she text me what's up, I somehow pretty much do a love confession, and then give an ultimatum that we either go date, or we part our ways.
It took me two weeks of figuring out why I did that.
Her being smart, she evaded question, stating it sounds tempting but she needs to sort some things in her life.
I may have said something harsh to that answer (along the lines "fine, you don't want it, I'm off"), and then after a couple of days thinking it through (and asking myself "what the :cuss: did you do, dude"), I felt bad and texted her just making a joke out of this.
I don't want to get into too much details, but the question now is, should I buy a new jacket, or just patch that one up? I like the jacket, 'ya know.
Ok, that is not really the question. My question is, do I walk away, or do I give it some time and try again? If so, how much time?
What do I do?
My mind and past habits say "Walk away, walk away, walk away". My body says "Call her call her call her".
She's an awesome babe and seemed LTR material, and I kind of want an LTR. Any tips, or ideas? I haven't called her for a bit over a week, and she's been extremely busy with her work. I can easily arrange to meet up with her, but should I? And then, should I pretend nothing happened, or make another joke about it? Does it even ever work after someone has an AFC moment and does a weird love-ish confession? Is it possible she meant when she said she is tempted to start dating (yeah, I doubt this one)?
Regards,
Dali.
This is my first post here, and although I've read through few SoSuave articles/posts here and there, I never really thought I'd register and post something.
I came into a situation, if one could say so, and alas, I'd like to share it and ask for an advice.
First, a little background; I have not had a long term relationship for past 4 or so years - I had a girlfriend that lost her virginity with me, we've been together for two years or so, we loved each other, she died. Since that happened, I've reinvented myself, transformed if you will. Became a lot better at, well, everything (to that point where girls say "how come you don't have a girlfriend, are you gay?"), and I've had a fair share of one night stands. Which, was pretty much all I had - I would just find a girl on a night out, get back to mine/hers, have sex, and apart from few exceptions, never see or hear from them again, would not even remember their name. I needed 4 years to actually move on and stop thinking about the girlfriend I had.
Enter the current situation.
Some time ago, I've met a girl, she seemed nice, we had mutual friends and since she was giving me signs, I took her for a date. She loved it, I got scared that I will like her and pretty much sabotaged the date and ran away, hah.
We spoke a few times afterwards, and not too long ago we bumped into each other again and went for a coffee. At this point I should probably state that if she's not 10, she's as close as it gets to it. Extremely good looking, and extremely intelligent, kind hearted and great with kids/dogs, with flocks of guys running after her every whim. So, we had great time, and although I was being just friendly, she again gave me signs, so I invited her to a party I was going to few days later and she got very excited. She flaked and didn't come to the party (although, I'd gather she had a semi-valid reason), was apologetic so I gave her another chance and we met up again.
Now the funny bit. When I walked her home to her door, I went for the friend hug and said bye. All the time we spent together, I was not trying to seduce her at all, I wasn't even sure what I was doing (we did have some great time, though). Either way, 2 minutes after saying bye, I get the weirdest urge, and call her. She doesn't pick up, so I head home, ripping a hole in my jacket by hitting a tree branch, and when she text me what's up, I somehow pretty much do a love confession, and then give an ultimatum that we either go date, or we part our ways.
It took me two weeks of figuring out why I did that.
Her being smart, she evaded question, stating it sounds tempting but she needs to sort some things in her life.
I may have said something harsh to that answer (along the lines "fine, you don't want it, I'm off"), and then after a couple of days thinking it through (and asking myself "what the :cuss: did you do, dude"), I felt bad and texted her just making a joke out of this.
I don't want to get into too much details, but the question now is, should I buy a new jacket, or just patch that one up? I like the jacket, 'ya know.
Ok, that is not really the question. My question is, do I walk away, or do I give it some time and try again? If so, how much time?
What do I do?
My mind and past habits say "Walk away, walk away, walk away". My body says "Call her call her call her".
She's an awesome babe and seemed LTR material, and I kind of want an LTR. Any tips, or ideas? I haven't called her for a bit over a week, and she's been extremely busy with her work. I can easily arrange to meet up with her, but should I? And then, should I pretend nothing happened, or make another joke about it? Does it even ever work after someone has an AFC moment and does a weird love-ish confession? Is it possible she meant when she said she is tempted to start dating (yeah, I doubt this one)?
Regards,
Dali.