Complicated Story.... To say the least... Need input from DJ's

sky77

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Ok, so I am a long time lurker first time poster and I have a situation that I need some advice on. I am a 21 year old college student, and relatively new at the whole DJing thing but I feel like I have learned alot from this site and I'm confident and very logical so putting it into action hasn't been terribly difficult. I just recently joined a fraternity and ran into a sticky situation that I probably shouldn't have went for but I did because I hate not taking advantage of situations ;). Basically one of my fraternity bros' has a sister (who i will refer to as HB7, used to play water polo so she looks good) who is 17 (18 in november) who showed a high IL early and initially I flirted with her but did not take her too seriously becuase of the obvious age difference. She kept stopping by at parties to flirt with me and one night (when I was a little gone heh) HB7 and her best friend approach me and start flirting with me. I play along, giving some neg hits to her because of her age (harsh i know but during negs i smile and act very playful). her friend basically leans over and whispers to me that HB7 wants me. her brother, who is in the room but kinda far away sees this, and tells her that hes got his eye on her. I whisper to HB7 that I would be down to fool around but I have my morals and I dont want to piss off her brothers ( SHE HAS TWO in the frat)

Fast forward a few weeks, she keeps leaving me myspace messages and wants to hang out. I give in eventually, basically rationalizing that i just hook up with her in secret no harm done. I take her out to dinner, we end up walking on the beach, i hook up with her, magical night etc. etc. We keep dating for a few weeks and i start to realize that she has almost all the qualities that I would actually look for in a mature LTR - 1. shes very caring 2. she knows what i want sexually (although shes a virgin and i can't have sex with her yet) 3. shes passive and lets me live my life 4. she wants to hang out just as much as i want to hang out with her 5. we have the same taste in music 6. she has similar hobbies 7. she doesn't play games and is very honest 8. we have a ton of chemistry, moreso than with any other girl i've dated. I'm bored of random hookups with sorority girls so this is becoming more and more attractive of a situation given the circumstances.

We keep hookin up and eventually she confesses that she no longer wants to be the girl that secretly hooks up with me all the time (gasp) but wants to be my girlfriend. I think about it, discuss the ****ed up situation we have and agree but tell her to keep it a secret still. there are 3 people that could be potentially pissed off: her parents (her dad is a cop, super i know), and one of her brothers. (the other one is cool with it as long as i don't **** her till shes 18, he wants us to be happy). my parents are totally cool with it (as long as i'm not ****ing her cuz its illegal at this time). my question is, how should i handle the possible problems that will come up, and how should i handle this if i want to maintain the relationship? my "plan" at this point is just to keep having fun with her until shes 18 then make our relationship public slowly. FYI i live in california so i can do anything except have sex with her at this point cuz of the laws. Keep in mind i want to do everything to maintain a LTR with her because honestly i need LTR experience and this girl is quality LTR material so far.
 

SunnyD

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Paragraphs buddy. Maybe then someone can help you.
 

Tenzen

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break the law and have sex with her, with her consent it should be ok, but if u get her pregnant, her parents can send u to jail. So keep it secret man, just u and her. Or else your going to have to dump her, maybe to try to get her back when shes 18. But not having sex all the way till November with a girlfriend give me a ****** break man, if you even somehow manage to stay with her that long, the sex might not even happen when she turns 18 and she'll just dump u. You would of wasted your time for nothing. Don't go into a situation like this. So becareful what ever what you do but i suggest you drop her as a gf, and pursue other girls. =)
 

sky77

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whats the best way to "drop her as a gf"?, assuming i want to keep hooking up with her haha
 

Andromax

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Tenzen said:
break the law and have sex with her, with her consent it should be ok, but if u get her pregnant, her parents can send u to jail. So keep it secret man, just u and her. Or else your going to have to dump her, maybe to try to get her back when shes 18. But not having sex all the way till November with a girlfriend give me a ****** break man, if you even somehow manage to stay with her that long, the sex might not even happen when she turns 18 and she'll just dump u. You would of wasted your time for nothing. Don't go into a situation like this. So becareful what ever what you do but i suggest you drop her as a gf, and pursue other girls. =)
To the OP. Don't listen to this garbage. Do what makes you happy. If shes into you and you're into her, than great. If you can deal without sex for now, fine.

I'm not going to delve into the morality of sex with 17 y/os cause in Alaska 16 is legal. Not that I would do it. But then again I'm a bit older than you.

If you're happy with your situation, great. If you want it to be an LTR though, I would talk to her dad. Seriously dude, you would have some big ass balls to talk to her dad and explain that you are interested in pursuing a relationship with his daughter, and not going to be physical or whatever.

He'd probably think pretty highly of you regardless of his initial reaction, rather than knowing shes spending time with you and you trying to hide it from him.

And as far as the brother, you can probably get them on your side even easier by just talking to them!
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Moofahsa

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Don't do it.

You won't listen, but 17 is too young and dumb.

She is a high school kid and her biggest worry is how her hair looks.

Nab one your own age and be happy with life.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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funny how the laws are different, in Canada. Our age of consent is 16, and it's very very common to see 21 year olds with seventeen year olds. Hell, I'm 29 and my GF is 21.

Here's my advice to you.

If you're a sensible man with good morales and a good head on your shoulders, her family will pick up on this and see that you're good for her.... If, on the other hand, you're a little player piece of sh!t then I'd reccomend not ousting the relationship, cuz parent's intuition will pick up on your sliminess and they will not approve of you seeing their daughter.

Nothing they say or do will prevent you from seeing each other, but it's awlays better when there's no secrets.
 
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