Complicated seduction attempt - need help!

[bugsquish]

OK this is quite complicated, but I hope someone can give me some pointers cuz my head's going in circles!

SAT 29/06

I was out with my 4 year ex - Emma - as friends on the pull together. We help each other out and masquerade as brother and sister. We have been friends for over a year...

Anyway I met these 2 hot chicks Claire and Fey. I liked Claire *a lot* but I kept forgetting her name (I always do this when I'm drunk and I like someone) so I ended up talking to Fey more. I didn't make a move on either cuz I was so embarassed about forgetting Claire's name a third time - and it was her I really liked. At the end of the night I sent Emma to ask Claire's name for next time. She improvised a bit against my wishes, and ended up coming back with Claire's number.

Emma: My bro really likes you but he's really shy.
(man I was pissed at that!!!)
Fey: I thought he liked me!
Claire: Me too!
Emma: Sorry Fey, he likes Claire. Can I get your number for him Claire?
Claire: Isn't he your boyfriend?
Emma: Don't be disgusting that would be incest!
Claire: OK here's my number.

So the weekend passed and I thought about phoning and asking her skating (action date) and then on Friday evening to ask if she was going to the same club cuz we were. But I decided against phoning a number that someone else got for me.

FRI 04/07

So we went out again to the same club and man did my heart pound when I saw those same two chicks. At least I knew her name this time Every time I went to talk to them though, Fey was looking lonely while Claire was surrounded by guys (she is damn hot after all). So I ended up talking to Fey again. I danced with them both but was never sure if Claire was with any of these guys but Fey was coming on strong. So I thought fvck it go for Fey she's pretty hot too. So I try to kiss her and she kisses me but no tongue, and says she has a boyfriend. But I'm too trashed and keep going for these kisses, not even realising that Claire is trying to get my attention too.

Anyway this went on all night (I did spend time with various other women) but for some reason (nerves?) avoided Claire and wasted my time with Fey. Outside the club after a final failed attempt to kiss Fey, Fey said "Don't you realise Claire likes you?" and kind of seconds later i was up against a wall making out with Claire. I was too trashed to remember how it happened exactly but I do remember the botched conversation that followed. I was a kind of DJLFC (Drunken Jerk-Like Frustrated Chump).

Claire: Why didn't you call me?
Bugsquish: I didn't have your number.(lie)
Claire: Didn't Emma give you it?
Bugsquish: No, maybe she's jealous.(lie)
Claire: Of her brother?
Bugsquish: (LOL)She's not really my sister she's my best friend. We just tell ppl that so they dont feel threatened.
Claire: I knew it!
(emma appears)
Emma: Come on Bugsquish let's go!
Bugsquish: Gimme a few mins I'm busy
(emma disappears)
Claire: So you had a lot of girls after you tonight.
Bugsquish: Yea I can afford to be picky, I pick you.
Claire: So why didn't you pick me in there?
Bugsquish: Cuz you were always with some guy, I dont need to steal girlfriends
Claire: And you were all over Fey.
Bugsquish: She was all over me, but I prefer you.
Claire: Are you for real? I'm just out of a relationship and all vulnerable.(puppydog eyes)
Bugsquish: Don't give me that vulnerable crap, I know what you women are like (grin) I gotta be careful in case you're a stalker psycho.
Claire: *giggles* So do you want my number?
(this is where I started to f*ck up i think)
Bugsquish: Yea
(takes number)
Actually I was gonna call you tonight to see if you were coming out.(oops!)
Claire: *suspicious* I thought you didn't have my number?
(sh*t think fast)
Bugsquish: I was gonna get it off Emma, I wanted to take you skating.(argh what am I saying?!)
Claire: *giggles* Ooh I've not been skating for years!
Bugsquish: Me neither so you can get to laugh at me falling about, and we have to hold hands to stay up.
At this point Emma dragged me away and i had a lingering withdrawal of hands, smile and eyecontact with Claire, after which I whooped my way up the street thinking I was in there.

Now, I waited until Monday night to call her about the date. No reply. So, I waited until tonight Tuesdsday and called again. No reply. So I sent a text saying "Say girl, do you ever answer your phone? bugsquish x". No reply as yet.

But the negative thoughts are creeping in.
1) Did Fey tell her later that I spent the whole night trying to kiss her?
2) Did she think back on the fact that I pretty much ignored her all night in the club?
3) Did she pick up on the lies about the phone number? It seemed like it at the time.
4) Was she just wanting that little bit of confidence boost of my interest so she could knock me back and feel empowered since I ignored her all night?
5) Is she gonna jump back into whatever relationship she was in?
6) Did I screw up by stating my "date" intentions and interest, or did she think I was lying about this since she seems to think i have lots of female interest?
7) What the hell am I supposed to do if she never answers her phone? I'm NOT gonna text her again unless I get a reply.
8) Do you think she suspects anythings going on with Emma? There ISN'T.

Any comments on my conduct? And tips on the next course of action? I'm not sure now whether Fey is a friend or foe over this..... Argh help!

 

[DJStudent]

wow this is a tough one. At one point it seems as if you got everything and then lost it in seconds. To find an answer to this problem you just need to do what you've always been doing but change it a bit this time.

You've been ignoring this girl Claire for most of your encounter with her or choosing to ignore her. True, her friend Fey might tell her bad sh!t about you and that you can't help. If you didn't try to kiss her as much than maybe she wouldn't be pissed off. But the point is WHATEVER. You shouldn't be worrying about this. Continue to do what you want to do. Continue to see other girls. She's just one in many so go out and find some other chick to mess with. I wouldn't call her back until she responded somehow or if you found out she has ADD or something. Have fun PEOPLE!!!!

 

[Don Ronny]

You did rather well but you also fuct up big time by letting yourself get intimidated.


There is a moral to this story. Friends, don't let friends drink and DJ!

Seriously, get a buzz on if you wanna loosen up, but being piss-drunk is bad for your game!

 

[Slickster]

Here's what I have to say.

1. You're right no more calls or messages. Too desperate. Wait a week or so.

2. Forget all that neg. sh*t you're thinking. Its foolish. And really who cares. She's just a chick and obviously interested in you.

3. Don't get so drunk when you're out. Tough to play it cool when you're wasted. Cut yourself off a few drinks earlier.

4. Don't tell ppl that Emma is your sister cuz when you tell them the truth later you look like a liar.

5. Don't send Emma to do any work for you. Names or numbers.

6. If you're wheelin' two chicks its probably better that they're not friends cuz feelings get hurt and you might lose both of them because of it.

7. In this case maybe you should have phoned the next day. Explain you were pretty wasted and set up a date then.

Hope some of this helps.

 

[oreo_renegade]

Yeah, dont drink so much.

 

[bugsquish]

Hmm thanks guys! OK, number one lesson I guess is LESS DRINK. I can't seem to get into the right mood without a few beers but maybe I have been going overboard.

Getting caught out lying is NOT good either, so ur probably right about the brother/sister act.

Originally posted by DJstudent
I wouldn't call her back until she responded somehow or if you found out she has ADD or something.

Perdon my newbieness, what's ADD?

No reply from her so I guess I can write this one off for now. I'll see them out again no doubt, so I'll try once more to play it cool and mingle with plenty of women. I think my main priority is to explain to Fey how drunk I was and try to get her back on side... And show Claire a little more attention next time - even if she is surrounded by guys. And no more AFC crap.

Word Slickster, FORGET the negative sh*t

By the way, Fey is 8.4 and Claire is 8.8.

Ahhh... I love this board. Thanks again guys!

 

[all_city]

Originally posted by bugsquish
Perdon my newbieness, what's ADD?

Probably Attention Deficit Disorder...

 

[bugsquish]

Aaah, thx city.

 

[isotope]

maybe fey really likes you and claire doesnt want ot hurt her?

 

[bugsquish]

Should I turn up?

Hey again guys,

I got through to Claire's mobile yesterday and she sounds pretty interested! I kept her giggling the whole time and got her home # too. I mentioned that I tried kissing Fey all night (best be up front about it) and kinda laughed it off saying I was wasted and "kissing everyone". Which is true.

We are supposed to be doing something tomorrow night together but decided against the skating. I said I would see her at the club tonight to arrange it. The problem is, my usual buddies are in the next town and I would have normally gone out alone. If I go alone this time, it's gonna look like I went out JUST TO SEE HER.

So I dunno, do I go to spend time with her? Looks a bit chumpish. Or do I do my usual and go to mingle with lots of women? I think she is LTR material and I might scare her off if she things I'm just a player. Or do I not turn up, call her tomorrow and say I went to a party instead (I got one to go to)?

As always, your advice is appreaciated in advance!

Bug

---------
Failure breeds success!

 

[topdog3853]

Well good that you finally talked to her. A true mark of a DJ is being able to go out alone. But if you really dont' want to go out alone try and grab one wingman. Who cares if what she thinks about you showing up alone. You should hang out with her and talk but also mingle with other people. It will show that you have the confidence and that you "don't need her" The key is you have to get this girl out on an actual date. Get away from this bar stuff. And stop think this is a potential LTR Just go out have fun because if you start thinking to far into the future and it doesn't work you may burned even worse. Very key is if you are out tomorrow night and you see other guys hitting on her, don't get pissed or any of that bullsh*t. She may be doing it to try and get a rise out of you, so just go mingle with other people. If she confronts you about it later on asking why you didn't talk to her blah, blah like she said last time, just throw out a little C&F. Something like "I was just waiting to see how long it would take for you to ditch those desperate guys and come hang out with me" Or whatever use your imagination.
Oh ya and from the previous posts, don't get too DRUNK!! that my cause more problems then you need.

 

[bugsquish]

Thx topdog!

I tracked down one of my buddies in the city and he's up for a night out so im sorted there! Still trying to work out how much attention to show this chick though. I reckon she's got a high IL but a few dumb moves could easily change that.

Don't wanna be too clingy, so I know to "visit" her sporadically, leaving her at high points in the conversation. The thing I'm mainly unsure of is whether or not to DJ other women. I have a few prospects at this club and as we all know there's no guarantees with Claire. But at the same time I dunno whether making out with other girls is gonna raise or lower her IL level.

She says she noticed me making out with girls even before I approached her. Weeks before even. So she's very likely to see me doing it if I do.

All there is between us is one kiss/number close and 1 phonecall. So we can't exactly be regarded as having to be faithful. But at the same time I want her to see me as someone she could trust if we did end up together. Hehe there I go again, stop thinking LTR but still u get what I mean.

Doh to me but whats C&F stand for? Is there an acronym glossary?

--------
Failure breeds success!

 

[Blaaaaat]

Okay, maybe you should take this in consideration. It could be possible that she thinks you're a player. So now she's trying to find out if your interest in her is for real, or that you might see her only as another point to add up in your score.

just a thought.

 

[topdog3853]

****y & Funny my good man..

Well if you don't want her to think that your a untrustworthy player, then just don't make out with these other girls. Don't be too clingy by going and talking to other people. Talk with other girls and guys you know. Show her you know how to have a good time but dont' go making out with every chick possible. Just talk/dance with these other girls but don't sit there and make out with them in front of her. If you have other prospects at this club then it sounds like they are regulars there and you'll see them again if this doesn't work out with Claire. Just use those other girls as social prof for tonight! It will show Claire that if she doesn't want you then you'll have no trouble finding someone else.

 

[bugsquish]

Top advice again Dawg. Okay I feel a cunning plan taking shape in my mind. Only downside is if I suddenly don't make out with a girl that I usually make out with they're gonna wonder what's up. But Claire is the hottest of them all so I guess I can give her a little special treatment tonight

And Blaaaaat there's a point, tonight could be a pretty big test for me in her mind. All the more reason to be careful then.

3 pint cut off point. Must..... not............ get....................DRUNK!

 

[bugsquish]

Yeehah!
I DJ therefore I am

Claire is putty in my hands. I gave her a lot of quality attention last night with generous helpings of kino and C&F (thx dawg) and even making out a lot. I ALWAYS took it away from her just as she was starting to enjoy it. Danced with my other friends, couldn't help making out with this other cute chick (I grab her every week). But even if Claire did see it it didn't do any harm. I did unfortunately get blind drunk again but hey that didn't do any harm either.

I called her today about the date tonight and she said she was too hungover/skint/tired, but I reckon this is the truth guys. I said give it 3 hours and see how you feel. She called me back 3 hours later on the dot and we spoke for about half an hour (not the best idea but we were having a great chat).

Anyhow I said when we gonna do this date and she said "anytime just give me a call". Good sign yes? I said "Anytime that makes it easier for me to fit you into my busy schedule hehe".

Thx guys! Any more pointers or criticism welcome.