common thread

[Metro3pilot]

If all you meet is ho's, low quality women, damaged, immature, abused or abusive .....

the common thread is you

:rockon:

 

[Victory Unlimited]

True.

Because even if you blame your present environment, and you've chosen to NOT even try to branch out into other areas, then, in a sense-------it's STILL "you"....:yes:

 

[Interceptor]

This is why I do it on purpose to repeat that every man in here must find and eventually woork toward accomplishing his Mission in life, and as a Man.
The more you are satisfied and truly engrossed with your passions and accomplishing your Mission, the less the negative environment will affect you.

But if youre a person who gains validation, ego stroking and emotional balance from almost exclusively external factors, then you will always be at the mercy of the people, places, and things that are in your environment.


If you're the kind of guy who is often in a good mood when the environment is good, and is in a bad mood when the environment is bad, then you have a problem.

 

[STR8UP]

This is a true statement, however, I hold to my belief that decent people are the exception and not the rule, so if ALL you meet is trash, yea, it's you, but if you simply find it difficult to meet really good people, well, that's life.

 

[guru1000]

This is a true statement, however, I hold to my belief that decent people are the exception and not the rule, so if ALL you meet is trash, yea, it's you, but if you simply find it difficult to meet really good people, well, that's life.

Interceptor made a great point!

"Meeting or Finding Good People" should not matter as that is an external factor. Placing your happiness in things out of your control is the culprit to DEPRESSION and FAILURE.

Placing your happiness in what you can control is FULFILMENT and SUCCESS.

Let's break this down on a business level.

Let's say you are running a business. Business is BAD. There are two ways to interpret this:

1) "This business is my livelihood. This is all I have. If this doesnt work out , I am a FAILURE. How will I pay my overhead? SH*T! F*CK! I am so worried."

Here you place your happiness on the outcome which you cannot reasonably control. How do you feel?

2) "The most efficient way to achieve the best result is to put in as many quality hours as I can. The end result will be there regardless. As long as I work hard, I will not stress about the end result"

Here you have control because you are aware that you cannot control the outcome and no longer a slave to it. You are no longer at mercy to the end result. What you can control is the amount of quality hours you put in which will enhance your liklihood of succeeding.

Which way of thinking is healthier and most conducive to success?

Do not be affected by your environment. It is external. Focus, like a soldier, keep your chin up and move foward.

 

[reset]

If you're the kind of guy who is often in a good mood when the environment is good, and is in a bad mood when the environment is bad, then you have a problem.

Very true. This goes to anything, at work I would be happy when things were going my way and pissed when they weren't, except "work" is just four walls that make up a room. It's all you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Law 10: Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else's misery— emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

 

[Bible_Belt]

emotional states are as infectious as diseases

That is another parallel from the world of sales, where trainers teach that emotions are contagious, therefore the salesman must be excited and personally sold on his product.

 

[Desdinova]

If all you meet is ho's, low quality women, damaged, immature, abused or abusive .....

the common thread is you

This is a common statement in the AFC world. I can normally agree with the common denominator theory, but this is one instance where I can't.

When you broaden your horizons and begin to experience women who are all over the looks scale, you discover that nothing really changes. Short, tall, fat, slim, pretty, and ugly women (at least American women) are mostly all the same, and not in a good way. The more weeding you do, the more weeds you discover. And there aren't just weeds in your own yard, there's weeds in everyone elses yard. The selection of good women is really fvcking pathetic.

It seemed like every time I'd find a somewhat interesting one, she'd show me pictures of her goddam kids. I don't want a woman with kids! Or she'd tell me about her friggin' church group. I don't want a religious chick! Or how about the divorce she's still going through. Then there's the problems that don't show up until you start dating her. "I'm so ugly!" Of course you are, so get your ugly ass and low self-esteem out of my life. I seriously have no tolerance for a beautiful woman who constantly puts herself down. If her opinion of herself is lousy, then she's a lousy woman.

Then there's the boring ones. "I went to the hair salon!" Good for you, now what do you do for hobbies? "Uhhhh, well, I'm going shoe shopping tomorrow!" No bytch, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HOBBIES. "Uhh, watching TV? Talking with my girlfriends?" Watching TV is boring, and your girlfriends are boring. You spend too much money on 5hit. Sorry, you're not interesting enough.

Oh yeah, and let's not forget "most of my friends are guys". I don't need some goddam AFCs telling her that I'm not a nice guy. I know that, she loves it, and these friends of hers are going to be sticking their nose in business that isn't theirs and possibly causing trouble. Sorry, but you need to get yourself some female friends, I don't need your horny man friends tagging along.

When you actually make an effort to meet and date lots of women, you'll REALLY find out how 5hitty the selection is.

 

[iqqi]

Great post, Metro Pilot.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Sounds like I belong in here that's for sure.

 

[STR8UP]

When you actually make an effort to meet and date lots of women, you'll REALLY find out how 5hitty the selection is.

This is actually across the board, men and women.

But the thing is, it's much EASIER for us to have friends that have flaws.

I've been in hospitality, retail, service, real estate, etc over the past decade and although some is worse than others (hospitality and service businesses are the WORST) it seems that about 3-5% of people are are really AWESOME. They just have that thing about them that makes you want to be around them. they seem very genuine and trustworthy.

Then you got about 10% who don't even deserve to be breathing our oxygen.

Then there's a sliding scale in the middle that most people fall into. Toward the lower end you have obnoxious ass holes, toward the top end you have people who are mostly sincere, they mean well, but are prone to compromising their values for the right price.

So you figure that you might be able to be friends with about, oh lets say 40% of the population. Out of these friends lets say 5% of them are close and you share a certain level of trust. With the rest of them you know that you can hang out with them and have a good time, but at the end of the day you know you better watch your back because they have the potential to cause grief.

Now with a woman it's different. You can't have a serious relationship unless she's a 5%er. Anything else is asking for a disaster. That's what makes it tough. Your criteria for choosing friends can be loose. I know people I would place quite a bit of trust in, and some others who quite frankly exhibit some behaviors that let me know that I need to be wary.

So yea, you're right, the scene is BLEAK. It has honestly been about 10 years since I had a really wonderful g/f. I THOUGHT I found another one a few years ago, but she turned out to be a wolf in sheeps clothing. Since I got out of that situation it's been pretty dismal. Lots of aging women who are growing increasingly neurotic about their age, lots of mid-late 20's women still trying to ride out the glory days of ther pu$$y power, and some much younger ones who are either too immature, too "green", or too full of the pu$$y power.

I know they are out there, I just wish they weren't so few and far between.

 

[Desdinova]

Good luck finding an "interesting" one in all regards.

Thanks, but I don't need your luck right now. My woman is plenty interesting.

Shopping, going to the salon, all that sh!t, it's just what women do.

It's not what every woman does. I've dated women who watch what they spend, don't bother with the salon, and have female friends. However, if you want to settle for a boring woman who loves to spend money on shoes and $100 hair cuts, then by all means go for it.