Commitment Issues

[spred]

OP teach us some scheduling techniques and time management, is really impressive, no joke

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well, here I am, a guy in his 50’s in excellent physical shape and I clean up ok. Been divorced and living alone for a few years. Been tearing it up, up to 5-6 plates in rotation, most relatively high quality and well stable financially and mentally. Been doing that for years.

Fast forward to now: met a gal who is attractive, in great shape, age appropriate, active, smart, successful and fun. We get along like thieves - everything is awesome this far and improves every time we’re together.

Shes talking about the future and what could be. Why am I hesitant? Why do I get breathless and slightly anxious. I clearly have commitment issues. Is it the freedom and abundance ****ing up what could be a great LTR for me?

Have any of you gotten off the v-train and been able to successfully go monogamous? If so how’d you handle it.

input appreciated.

5-6 plates as a 50's? How are you doing this?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

In what way?

5-6 plates as a 50's? How are you doing this?

 

[SW15]

I would have thought this volatility would be pushing women into LTRs. Quite the opposite from what I've observed. Hypergamy is in overdrive.

Due to the mating environment being a mess, I would have thought more people would be holding on to their pre-pandemic LTRs/marriages. Doesn't seem to be the case.

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Forming new relationships now is a dumpster fire. Indoor masking has killed grocery store approaching, mall/other retail approaching, and bars/nightclubs. The only viable form of approaching right now is outdoor approaching. Krauser/Torero's daygame models have been more valuable than ever.

Beyond the approach, even conducting dates is challenging with bars/restaurants affected by COVID and indoor masking.

To me, these would be incentives to keep an existing relationship going. I haven't seen any relationships in my social circle end during the pandemic. My social circle isn't a representative sample of the population. I doubt that any of my contacts in relationships/marriages seem interested in the slightest bit to face today's mating environment.

I know of two couples in which the wife is currently pregnant. These are middle class/upper middle class white women in their early to mid 30s. Husbands are similar ages.

"Laying" a woman and "Maintaining" a woman are 2 completely different journeys and skillsets.

I'd question why any man would want to maintain a woman when he can go out and lay new ones. Trying to maintain a woman is where all the troubles begin.

People have made the case before that betas are better at relationship maintenance than alpha/player-ish type guys if the only measure of a relationship is duration of time. Quality measurements, such as sex frequency, would be excluded from the analysis.

Most men are betas. Most men perceive that it is easier to keep getting sex from a current partner than going out and finding new ones. Betas live in a scarcity mindset. This is normal because betas experience scarcity. The beta thinks it is better to get sex 1-2 times a month from a relationship past its prime than experience a 6-18 month sexual drought when replacing a long term partner. Betas will stick it out in these subpar relationships until the woman can no longer take it and she exits. This is why women file for divorce 80% of the time.

The difficult task is maintaining a relationship beyond 3-5 years and having a decent sexual frequency/quality of relationship. There's an idea that all relationships are transient. Having more alpha-ish traits yet still having some desire for a relationship can keep the sexual frequency higher and keep female attraction in place for a longer term.