It’s very easy to avoid getting friendzoned if you follow three basic rules.
1) Escalate physically on the second date at the latest. When I say escalate, I don’t necessarily mean sex. But at minimum, you should get a kiss (a woman is not going to make out with a guy she’s trying to friendzone).
2) If she’s not receptive to the escalation (i.e. gives you the cheek) that’s your signal to cut her out. If you chose to ignore that signal, it’s on you.
3) Do not take her to dinners, comedy shows, etc. and don’t buy her sh!t unless you’re banging her. Again, a very simple rule to follow.
1) I’ve had women end things with me for going for a simple kiss on a second date. I know that’s not always the norm and it means they were just using that as an excuse because they weren’t interested but that sticks wjth you and it’s hard to overcome. I overcame it but many men can’t. So they remain slow movers.
2) I’ve had women makeout with me on 5 dates but refuse to go back to my house or they made sure sex didn’t happen. They also made it seem like I was soooo close but yet soooo far. The friends one signals aren’t always clear as day.
3) true but good fvcking luck getting multiple dates with a woman in 2023 without spending a dime on her. If you won’t, someone else will. You can only walk around the park once or twice. I’m not saying take the hoe out shopping but you’re going to have to spend money, you just are. It would be ideal to get sex before spending any money but let’s be honest, that only applies to certain men who can get away with that.
I agree with escalating physically on the first date. Absolutely go for the kiss on the lips on the first date. Women aren't going to make a friend zone offer to a guy who goes in for a kiss during a first date. They probably aren't going to offer it either to a guy who goes in for that on a second date. It's a good thing if things are ended romantically over going in for a first date kiss on the lips or a second date kiss on the lips. It means you two aren't romantically compatible. The best thing about a romantic overture failing is that you will avoid the friend zone.
Always cut out if a night ends without a completed escalation effort. Sometimes within a night, a woman will put up some resistance, but you can try again later in the night. The better method is to do some smaller escalation tactics first and see how she responds before going in for a kiss. I've had instance where small escalations weren't reacted to well, so I never offered the kiss and never asked for a second date. Additionally, I think it is a good rule to not offer a second date without getting a kiss on the lips on the first date. It's way easier to get that second date if there's a first date kiss. Without a first date kiss, a woman will typically ignore your phone calls or text messages when you ask for the second date.
I can't imagine how it would be possible to have a heavy kissing/makeout session and then get offered friend zone. You must have a frame problem if that happens.
It's very difficult to spend no money on a woman in early stage dating prior to sex. I wish I could pull that off. What can be done is keeping it inexpensive. Drinks at moderately priced bars and low cost activities are best. I agree with no dinners in restaurants, no comedy shows, no movies in theaters + dinners. I also don't think coffee shop dates are good either because it is difficult to escalate in a coffee shop. A coffee + outdoor walk at park or beach can work but I'd rather do the outdoor walk alone. Alcoholic drinks at 1-2 moderately priced bars is a the best first date. Multivenueing (2 bars near each other) is best but not necessary for getting the first date kiss.
People think the friendzone is a woman coming flat out and being honest with you “I just want to be friends”. I wish it were that straight forward. What usually happens is after a month of dating you get “I like you but I don’t want to date anyone right now. It’s not about you either, you’re great. I’m just afraid of relationships and get scared to death. I just need some time” and they keep texting you to make plans but the trap was already laid. You basically have no clue how deep you are in the friendzone but she knows and she will never tell you. That’s how women land these normal regular men into their orbit. Mixed signals and words that lead a guy on. It’s never a flat out rejection.
I've never had anything happen like you describe. Something must be off about your frame. Perhaps dating came too easily to you when you were high school prom king and played small school college football. You didn't have to learn true seduction skills due to your athlete status. Once athlete status disappeared, you were relying upon personality and you aren't 6'0"+.
You drop a woman completely when she tells you "doesn't want to date anyone right now.....needs some time". Also drop women at the first sign of a mixed signal. Mixed signals are never good.
I can think of one time where a woman was flat out honest with me about the friend zone. I approached a 23 year old fitness class instructor when I was 10+ years older than her and offered her a date. Usually when I go to fitness classes, I approach the other class attendees and escalate from there. That particularly day, there wasn't a viable target among the attendees, I found the instructor attractive, and it's a class I less commonly attend. She claimed to already have been in a relationship but would be open to a friendship. I rejected the notion of friendship because I know my value, and life went on. I showed up to her class after that and things were not awkward at all.
There are typically two types of FZ.
1. Getting FZed after one or more actual dates. (Good advice on this is above.)
2. The more insidious long term FZ where you get to know a chick over time and hang out a lot but haven’t gone on a proper “date.” Or even if you both dress up and go to a nice place, she doesn’t see it as a date because she doesn’t want to see it that way.
I suspect the guy in the video was in situation #2.
It's easy to avoid a friend zone after a date (situation #1). Comply or bye. The woman has to enter your romantic relationship frame or there's nothing.
Situation #2 is solved by asking women on proper dates immediately. I do that. This is somewhat of a Mode One idea. Any guy would want to establish a frame of a romantic interaction and a date is a good way of doing so. Notice above how that 23 year old fitness instructor got the idea that I was asking her on a date, and she clarified she'd only spend time with me socially under a certain condition. I rejected the condition.
I’ve gotten many variations of that such as “You’re like a brother to me” or “You’re the brother I never had” or “You’re more of a brother to me than my real brother xyz.” I actually don’t mind these. Far from ideal, but not insulting.
The worst FZ I got was “You’re everything I ever wanted in a guy. Even my cat likes you, and he hates everybody. But I like bad boys.“ Then I was walked to the door.
I haven't gotten any of that crap.
