Combating Neediness

[JaegerPilot217]

Outcome dependency is the root of neediness. That being said it's hard as we're not robots. Even still why put the unnecessary pressure on yourself. It should be fun to game women and it should not feel robotic or like work. Most of us will stop playing a game when its not longer fun and/or interesting.

If it's not fun then make so that your interactions with women are fun. Now that doesn't mean act like a clown or an entertainer, what it means is be casual, create positive moments, and get a girl to laugh/smile, or even mock roughhouse with you.

If you make your intereactions fun you'll be more likely to get a positive response and you in turn will internalize the process as fun and be more likely to engage.

Ya so just don't care about the outcome, is there more needed to do besides making the interactions fun in order to avoid being desperate?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Outcome dependency is the root of neediness. That being said it's hard as we're not robots. Even still why put the unnecessary pressure on yourself. It should be fun to game women and it should not feel robotic or like work. Most of us will stop playing a game when its not longer fun and/or interesting.

If it's not fun then make so that your interactions with women are fun. Now that doesn't mean act like a clown or an entertainer, what it means is be casual, create positive moments, and get a girl to laugh/smile, or even mock roughhouse with you.

If you make your intereactions fun you'll be more likely to get a positive response and you in turn will internalize the process as fun and be more likely to engage.

how mandatory is the guys lifestyle in order to attract women, get a girlfriend?

 

[JoeMarron]

how mandatory is the guys lifestyle in order to attract women, get a girlfriend?

Dude...I have no extravagant lifestyle, I have no interesting hobbies, my social circle is tiny, and I'm broke as hell and still living at home. None of this sh!t means ANYTHING though. If you aren't ugly as hell and you can influence a woman's emotions in a positive way (game) then you can at least attract someone of decent quality. Sure you won't be rotating porn star lookalikes out of your bed every night but you'll get some action, you can get a girlfriend, hell you can even get a wife. Game/charisma/alpha mindset/whatever you want to call it is first and foremost your most powerful weapon. Learn it, cultivate it, master it and you will never be without women in your life.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Dude...I have no extravagant lifestyle, I have no interesting hobbies, my social circle is tiny, and I'm broke as hell and still living at home. None of this sh!t means ANYTHING though. If you aren't ugly as hell and you can influence a woman's emotions in a positive way (game) then you can at least attract someone of decent quality. Sure you won't be rotating porn star lookalikes out of your bed every night but you'll get some action, you can get a girlfriend, hell you can even get a wife. Game/charisma/alpha mindset/whatever you want to call it is first and foremost your most powerful weapon. Learn it, cultivate it, master it and you will never be without women in your life.

love the sound of that, very inspiring

 

[crazyboy]

In all honesty there is reason men are taught at young age not to cry or better yet not to let our emotion control us. Every single man has felt emotion when it comes to finding that woman. its inevitable its going to happen. But we need to remember why men don't cry. Its because someone needs to be the one that make a decision without letting there emotion control them. Someone need to be that leader that lead there troops, family , and friends. Neediness come from lack of power or control emotion i know very well this was reason i felt needy or needing a woman approval to feel as if i was real man.

Like a poster said before anything obtainable if you have the right mindset. This is for all men not matter where you are in life. When you approach of a women approach like you greatest motherfing thing since slice bread. Approach with confidence of lion. screw your fear the worst thing she could every say is no and there are always more women around who are willing.

 

[jacob]

Imagine you're in a relationship with your dream girl. She's hot as hell, gives you crazy sex on tap, doesn't annoy you, and you can actually have an entertaining conversation with her. Lets be honest here, most every dude is gonna catch feelings for this chick, he'll maybe fall even harder for her than she will him. How does he prevent himself from feeling needy? We all know the typical answers to this question; spin plates, hobbies, friends, career, etc. but are these really solutions? If you're fighting neediness by banging a new chick then you're still dependent on women for your cure. Hobbies, friends, and other pursuits are nice and all but they really aren't equal substitutes.

Take pizza and an ice cold beer as an example. You like both of these things but they meet two completely different needs. When you're craving pizza, as much as you like an ice cold beer it isn't gonna do a damn thing for your pizza craving. Lets face it, we all crave female affection. If we didn't then every man would just use women for sex and no one would bother getting into relationships or doing anything else with them. When we're feeling needy we don't just want sex, we want female affection. We want to hear the soft voice of our woman, hear her adorable laugh, see her gorgeous smile, feel her tender touch. Sure we can distract ourselves from the craving but we can't really get rid of it. I don't see any real solution to this problem besides distractions and not giving into the desire to act needy. How do you guys combat neediness?

I just posted a thread with a lecture on "how to raise a man" which will expose the problems of this generation of "boys" that are well into there 40s and 50s. This "neediness" is the cause of effeminacy, the solution is building virtue.

here's the link to my thread which has the link to the lecture.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215232

just listen to it even when he starts talking about Adam & Eve, since he starts to explain how modern man is affected by technology and culture. You'll start to agree and understand how you'll naturally get women to respect you, and when females respect a man is when they are attracted to him...

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I just posted a thread with a lecture on "how to raise a man" which will expose the problems of this generation of "boys" that are well into there 40s and 50s. This "neediness" is the cause of effeminacy, the solution is building virtue.

here's the link to my thread which has the link to the lecture.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215232

just listen to it even when he starts talking about Adam & Eve, since he starts to explain how modern man is affected by technology and culture. You'll start to agree and understand how you'll naturally get women to respect you, and when females respect a man is when they are attracted to him...

Some people argue that also women have developed a sense of entitlement in this generation as well

 

[jacob]

Some people argue that also women have developed a sense of entitlement in this generation as well

I don't want to hijack this thread, but since it's relevant to attracting women and understanding the differences between the sexes I'll post one here on feminism: women and the natural order https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn3LzzZkK-s

Everything regarding the human condition goes back to Adam and Eve. You need to understand the roots of the problem in order to solve it.

Listen to the lecture it starts getting real interesting after he explains how communism bore the disordered fruit of feminism...

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I don't want to hijack this thread, but since it's relevant to attracting women and understanding the differences between the sexes I'll post one here on feminism: women and the natural order https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn3LzzZkK-s

Everything regarding the human condition goes back to Adam and Eve. You need to understand the roots of the problem in order to solve it.

Listen to the lecture it starts getting real interesting after he explains how communism bore the disordered fruit of feminism...

men and women will never be equal that should sum it up

 

[jacob]

men and women will never be equal that should sum it up

not necessarily, men and women have the same equal human nature, but they were endowed certain roles and have natural inclinations specific to each gender. Please listen to the lecture and be informed. It will help your "game".

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Is it okay to go out with the intention of meeting and approaching girls just for the sake of practice and stepping out of your comfort zone more? Killing approach anxiety? But at the same time not be outcome dependent?

 

[Shaka]

I have a little different perspective on spinning plates.

Let's say if you find the perfect woman for you, you'll stay with her forever and ever.
The thing is, what is the perfect woman ? I'm sure you can't really answer that. You'll just come with the common things (beautiful, interesting, BLAHBLAH)

Spinning plate let you find that anwser, or at least get closer to it. You'll make mistakes, you'll work to correct them, you'll know more and more what's you're looking for in a woman, what do you like, what you don't like, what's a deal breaker.
You will be able to grasp some new concept, to put names on some of your feeling.
You say you met the perfect girl ? Let me laugh (no offense). There are billions of girls, and I guarantee you that you can find better out there if you put the efforts in it.

Basically, you'll learn more about yourself.
In the end, you'll maybe come up with answer.
It could be "I want to spend my life with a girl like this and like that"
Or "I want to stay a bird that keep flying and meet a lots of girl for the rest of my life"
Or something completely different.

But you can't say, without those experiences, "I know how I am, what I want, and what I want to be".
So yeah, don't settle and learn more about yourself before segregating you in a way of life without really knowing anything.

Spinning plate is about discovering what you want to be.

 

[JoeMarron]

I have a little different perspective on spinning plates.

Let's say if you find the perfect woman for you, you'll stay with her forever and ever.
The thing is, what is the perfect woman ? I'm sure you can't really answer that. You'll just come with the common things (beautiful, interesting, BLAHBLAH)

Spinning plate let you find that anwser, or at least get closer to it. You'll make mistakes, you'll work to correct them, you'll know more and more what's you're looking for in a woman, what do you like, what you don't like, what's a deal breaker.
You will be able to grasp some new concept, to put names on some of your feeling.
You say you met the perfect girl ? Let me laugh (no offense). There are billions of girls, and I guarantee you that you can find better out there if you put the efforts in it.

Basically, you'll learn more about yourself.
In the end, you'll maybe come up with answer.
It could be "I want to spend my life with a girl like this and like that"
Or "I want to stay a bird that keep flying and meet a lots of girl for the rest of my life"
Or something completely different.

But you can't say, without those experiences, "I know how I am, what I want, and what I want to be".
So yeah, don't settle and learn more about yourself before segregating you in a way of life without really knowing anything.

Spinning plate is about discovering what you want to be.

I understand where you're coming from but I disagree with this mindset. I don't think a man should feel obligated to keep spinning plates just because he hasn't experienced a ton of women. If he happens to be in a relationship now and is happy then it doesn't matter what other women he might be happier or more compatible with. Sure if a man is single then go ahead and keep playing the field but if he happens to find a chick he really clicks with early on the go ahead and stick with her. As long as she isn't hindering any dreams or ambitions then I see no problem with settling down early.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Is it okay to go out with the intention of meeting and approaching girls just for the sake of practice and stepping out of your comfort zone more? Killing approach anxiety? But at the same time not be outcome dependent?

Never mind this I guess