college girl show interest and initiates meetup then flakes. help

[Stark]

Met this hb 9 brunette at a house party Friday Night. My game was rock solid. iois (listened to convo intently, smile, play with hair, laughed)

got her number to invite her to a date party our fraternity was having. her friends had to go so hug close with her telling me shel see me thursday.

I text her my name

she double texts me about a rave going on the next day during the night . (in which she says we should both roll... lol)

so i take this as major ioi and tell her that i got my ticket and she should come to a pregrame with me and my friends and then head over.

throughout the day we text with her asking where, when, what the plans are with interest.

then it gets to like 5 where things go downhill. she doesnt reply to 2 texts because i'm trying to figure out how shes going to get to us. then i say "hey its fine if you can't come but just let me know so we can make moves"

"idk whats going so plan without me"

"whats up?"

"idk lol"

"alright well we are about to head out have fun"

I go to the rave. I run into her with a couple of her girlfriends. i talked to her a little bit but its hard because its so loud. we dance for a little bit. And then i tell her about an afterparty and she says "ya we are looking for one". i go to find my friends. i come back and one of the girls says we are going to a different after party( i think i saw a couple dudes with them).

Next day goes by (which is today) i have not texted her she has not texted me.

so what now?

1. did i just get blocked because of her friends leading where she was going.
2. is this situation salvagable.
3. how should i approach her about getting her to date party thursday?

 

[itishe]

She doesn't seem like she's too into it. I had a similar situation. Went on a first date with the girl, was decent but wasn't digging her as much as I first was. Few days later I see if she wants to come watch a movie, she's down but I had to cancel a bit before as I had to study for exams.

Then after that I see if she wants to come to our party and it's like her IL fell off a cliff (brief replies, aloof, etc)

I'd not talk for a few days and see if she makes a move. If not maybe try one more time (preferably something without liquor/getting hammered) and if she doesn't seem willing forget her.

 

[Stark]

it just sucks because i felt like it would have been better if we didnt try to meet up that day and let it carry over phone untill the next week. also she was giving mad iois early. also shes the one that initiated that meet up.

 

[itishe]

Like I said, just give it a few days off. Then hit her up and see if she wants to do something. If she's interested she'll make time.

 

[Robert28]

this girl sounds like more effort then she's worth. making an effort to hangout with a girl is one thing, but chasing after them is something else. you made an effort, she gave you an "idk lol", so i would say the hell with her, the hell with her friends, and the hell with the dudes she was with. life's too short to go running after some dame that is sketchy acting. delete number, ignore when you see her next time, live life and have fun. that should be your next 3 steps.

 

[DonGorgon]

college hos have 10000000000000000 dudes to F so every time one guy gets lucky 1000000000 get flaked on even though they are know to do 4 or 5 dudes a day sometimes..lolo its like playing the lotto just keep trying till you win..lol

but remember their priority list is:

1. Cute popular dudes
2. Cute athletes
3. Drug dealers
4. everyone else..lol

 

[tafakna]

I text her my name

she double texts me about a rave going on the next day during the night . (in which she says we should both roll... lol)

tell her that i got my ticket and she should come to a pregrame with me and my friends and then head over.

throughout the day we text with her asking where, when, what the plans are with interest.

To make it really simple: she was good looking, you were overeager to be with her, you let it show, she lost interest.

I'd say it's 99% your fault for not playing it right.

You were already going to see her on Thu... Then the next day... and then you want to meet her even sooner before the rave... This screams as AFC/insecure behavior... no wonder she got a bit freaked out...

You made yourself over available IMHO.

You could have said you had other plans and just meet her on Thu. Or maybe even have gone to the Rave and meet her there, you had her cell for heaven's sake, why the heck did you need 'to figure out how shes going to get to us'?


It's not: Good Initial Game + AFC = Decent Game

Things are like: Good Initial Game * AFC = AFC

In the future stick to planning one date at a time...

 

[TopGun2000]

To make it really simple: she was good looking, you were overeager to be with her, you let it show, she lost interest.

I'd say it's 99% your fault for not playing it right.

You were already going to see her on Thu... Then the next day... and then you want to meet her even sooner before the rave... This screams as AFC/insecure behavior... no wonder she got a bit freaked out...

You made yourself over available IMHO.

You could have said you had other plans and just meet her on Thu. Or maybe even have gone to the Rave and meet her there, you had her cell for heaven's sake, why the heck did you need 'to figure out how shes going to get to us'?


It's not: Good Initial Game + AFC = Decent Game

Things are like: Good Initial Game * AFC = AFC

In the future stick to planning one date at a time...

yeah, OP gave her too much attention too early

 

[gaspipe]

A hot college girl is spinning other plates. That is practically guaranteed. In fact college is the experimental testing grounds for sexuality and is when girls are most promiscuous. So don't hold your breath.

Also, you showed too much interest too early. The hotter the girl the more you need to be aloof to set you apart from the other guys who are showing her loads of attention.

Like the other poster said I would no contact her and wait for her to make the next move.

 

[Stark]

ok thanks for the responses. probably was really stupid on my part to try to meetup the following day even tho she was hitting me up. in the mean time i think im going to look for someone else to take thursday.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

Bf #2...or #3 but prolly #4

Real rap, I dont think u really did anything wrong. You invited her to things you were doin. If she liked you as much as you think she did, then she woulda went. Especially since your a frat boy(social status).

The problem is this, she may like you but shes prolly spinning plates: a #1(dating/ex-he is gettin the tang & she jumps & ditches all her others 4 him) #2 (new guy she is attracted to-he is next in line to be the new bf, he is prolly gettin left overs & BJs) #3 is next -he is the one paying for her company, she is atracted to him, good enough to validate w/attention. Your # 4, if all else fails she has sum1 2 keep her entertained.

Id become indifferent. If she also has a hot friend who treats you well then give her the attention, subtly

 

[Stark]

Real rap, I dont think u really did anything wrong. You invited her to things you were doin. If she liked you as much as you think she did, then she woulda went. Especially since your a frat boy(social status).

The problem is this, she may like you but shes prolly spinning plates: a #1(dating/ex-he is gettin the tang & she jumps & ditches all her others 4 him) #2 (new guy she is attracted to-he is next in line to be the new bf, he is prolly gettin left overs & BJs) #3 is next -he is the one paying for her company, she is atracted to him, good enough to validate w/attention. Your # 4, if all else fails she has sum1 2 keep her entertained.

Id become indifferent. If she also has a hot friend who treats you well then give her the attention, subtly

i got her friend's # even though she wasn't really hot to text her for an after party.

and im glad you understand where i'm coming. Its college, i toss out invites like candy at halloween and see how many bite. I don't think i was creepily acting over intersted but i did show some interested that i probably should negate.

i could also flip the script and invite somone else to our date party function which is thursday and cancel on her.

 

[Stark]

ok for those of you still interested in following this looks like things turned up. texted her 3 days later

me: Hey... can you keep a secret?

her: yes lol

me: Alright Tell no one! So like I met this insanely cute girl this weekend and invited her to a date party. idk. shes kinda wird tho. will she live up to hype?

her: oh defininitely. if she made you laugh shes golden.

me: she tried...

her. well idk then lol

me: im still finding paint from dayglow. was drenched.

her: haha so was i Lol
her: lol*

5 hours later...

me: its going to be at 9 tommorow wear something like you did that other night!

her: ok can i wear a black dress

me: ya thats acceptable. Wear with boots =)

her: haha ok same outfit i had last time.

me: we are meeting at x. are you going to need a ride?

her: yea

me: live in a dorm?

her: ya

me: which

her: x

me: ok thats possible. Hey try not to embarrass me tommorow

her: haha ok

 

[Masculinity]

college hos have 10000000000000000 dudes to F so every time one guy gets lucky 1000000000 get flaked on even though they are know to do 4 or 5 dudes a day sometimes..lolo its like playing the lotto just keep trying till you win..lol

but remember their priority list is:

1. Cute popular dudes
2. Cute athletes
3. Drug dealers
4. everyone else..lol

:crackup: I literally laughed so hard at this that my roommate woke up, haha.

Although it generalizes, it is the truth in a nutshell. The math doesn't seem to make sense though

ok for those of you still interested in following this looks like things turned up. texted her 3 days later

me: Hey... can you keep a secret?

her: yes lol

me: Alright Tell no one! So like I met this insanely cute girl this weekend and invited her to a date party. idk. shes kinda wird tho. will she live up to hype?

her: oh defininitely. if she made you laugh shes golden.

me: she tried...

her. well idk then lol

me: im still finding paint from dayglow. was drenched.

her: haha so was i Lol
her: lol*

5 hours later...

me: its going to be at 9 tommorow wear something like you did that other night!

her: ok can i wear a black dress

me: ya thats acceptable. Wear with boots =)

her: haha ok same outfit i had last time.

me: we are meeting at x. are you going to need a ride?

her: yea

me: live in a dorm?

her: ya

me: which

her: x

me: ok thats possible. Hey try not to embarrass me tommorow

her: haha ok

I like how you are taking control again. Do NOT become her puppy again or get desperate. Neg her a few times & escalate. Oh, and if she flakes, that's strike two & she's out the door. NEXT! (unless you're a 3-strike-guy).

 

[Stark]

ya just got to keep my fingers crosses for tommorow. i applied the stop responding to her when she gives stupid awnsers and trying not to send a text that didn't have some kind of humor in it.

Also feel proud about my bait, compliment + neg, qualifier , humor text haha all in one.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Ask her to go to a hookah bar with you.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I have a feeling she's gonna flake. Had this same situation happen to me before, but might as well try it out.

 

[AwwwwNawww]

On to the next one! Shout out to jigga

 

[Stark]

well heres an update on how i went. ALSO constructive criticism please i'm no trying to get trolled right now lol.

She didn't flake she showed up. Rapport was good laughing, social value, some connection. Kino was bad tho couldn't progress.

she complied with us moving to diff parts of the party.
she complied with me directing her body in directions with hands on the back and etc.
she didn't comply with sitting down with me on the sofa (i didn't really react but i took it as iod so i kinda backed off and just chilled)
she was in pretty reserved position cross legs/arms.

I don't know if I should have tried to escalate but based on the signs I think it would have only made it worse she came into this with a preset behavior There was no big **** up on my part that I can recall that would cause this.

She ended up telling me that she was going to get a ride from her friends at like 12:40 and "she would meet up with me at the after party" which of course was complete bs. I just went along with it because getting mad about it would just inflame the situation.

she hug closed me and got a ride from her friends. she had class in the morning at 8 but who knows she coulda just been going to **** another dude.

I have yet to text or call her and I don't think I plan to. she mentioned going to a concert with me but idc. I guess i could friend her and have different uses for her but im putting her on back burners for now.

so pretty sure this one is a next guys =(

 

[ARrocket]

From my experience, it's better not to put pressure on girls with the idea of a "date." You put a lot of that type of pressure on her, not only by inviting her to this date party, but also with the whole text exchange of her not embarrassing you...you made it awkward for her!

Also, what others said about you being over-eager is probably true.

A third thing I'd like to point out is the initial party where you first met her...you talked to her a lot, touched her hair, etc. Did you try to go for a kiss? Did you dance with her? Grind on her? I don't know what kind of party it was, but maybe you weren't aggressive enough from the start. Just something to think about.