Cold Streak... Tell me what you would do on these dates

[Reyaj]

Both POF Girls...

One girl is a nurse I exchanged a few messages with. she gave me her number and I never even called.... I decided to text her one day out of the blue she was responsive.... I had another POF date that night which totally sucked so I left and texted this girl to meet up the same night and she came out...

We met at a bar/restaurant... I was already blitzed with drinks from the previous date so I only had one.... she was very talkative... couldn't even shut her up... responded to my kino...... but I knew I couldn't drink anymore so I decided to end the date there.. plus it was about midnight... She said she'd give me a ride back to my car... I got in her car and started kissing her... she seemed surprised but went with it..... then I went in again and we made out a bit.... She then drove me to my car and I told her I needed to keep her awake and started kissing her again... she kissed back but kinda stopped. I then left and she sped away.....

She ignored my follow up text a few days later so I asked her if she usually made out with guys and then ignored them..... She got mad typical... then I LJBFd her... part of the other thread I'll post about....



Next girl was hot... met her last week... She is like a corporate HR president and pulls in 6 figures... We met for drinks.... I was doing well..... responded to my kino.... we had 3 drinks each and she was close to me... end of the date she dropped me to my car... This time I just went in for 1 kiss with some tongue then gracefully told her good night and left... She told me to text her when I got in... she mentioned it before I kissed her...

Well after that she hasn't been responsive either....

So wtf am I doing wrong here???? I know I get their IL high but I seem to lose at the end of the date when I kiss them....... Some girls I do the same thing to and I end up getting further or at least a follow up for another date where I soon end up banging them.... but this has been happening a lot lately...

How would you all play this different??? I mean should I flat out ask "hey lets go to your place?" Honestly... guys?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Reyaj,


Try meeting women in ways other than online, if you can. Many times, it takes more than just a few email or text exchanges to establish a connection with these online chicks that's stronger than their inclination to fade away or even flake on you after just one date.


Some other suggestions are:

• Try minimizing the use of alcohol on some of your dates (sometimes too much can dull your senses and you'll miss subtle signs of a woman's increasing or decreasing interest in you.)

• Try driving the women to THEIR cars rather than the other way around---unless they insist. If you're the one in the drivers seat (literally), then that'll put you in a more naturally dominant position and you'll be able to assume more control over the speed, the tone, and the way that the dates end. Indeed---it's only a subtle difference, but trust me---it can make a difference.

• Try practicing the "less is more" strategy by NOT going for more than one kiss on some of these dates (Sometimes, you can give off that strong sexy vibe with a woman, turn her ON with a kiss---but NOT overwhelm her, and that will leave HER wanting more. Then, SHE might actually begin to come after YOU more assertively for a change---but you've got to give her a chance to do so. It's possible that you may be coming off as too aggressive or one-dimensional to some of these chicks.)

• Don't forget: Just like YOU'RE hollerin' at a bunch of eligible prospects online----so are THEY. And women with a lot of options will use ANY excuse they can come up with "NOT" to date you. And the more attractive some of these women are, the more attention they're subject to be getting from many random guys. So you have to be mindful to some extent to do, behave, and BE different from the army of horny online guys that these women may be meeting.

• Lastly, I REPEAT:Try meeting women OFFLINE a little more. When you meet women in more natural ways as you're going about your everyday life, SOMETIMES it will make your connection more real, and more HUMAN than meeting them online. And when you meet these women, try giving off the strong sexual vibe with them BUT dial back "just a little" how aggressively you act on your sexual interest towards them.

Better to work on consciously giving these women the impression that you're "HOT" rather than unconsciously leaving them with the impression that you're just "in heat".


Soldier on.



V.U.

 

[BeDJ]

I asked her if she usually made out with guys and then ignored them

It's absolutely the follow-up. It's not what you do during the date, but how you handle yourself after. Women are like cats, the more you validate their desires, the less they will be interested in you.

You aren't doing anything wrong during the date. Kiss closes are a good sign. Don't try to alter anything during the first date, you want to get a process and stick to it during the first meeting. You are doing a great job, so any woman that defects from the process should be an automatic next. As always, the kiss is not the end goal, it is the first step. See how far you can get away with on the first date.

Good luck!

PS: A woman willing to give you a ride to your car, regardless of how far it may be, is a positive sign of a good first date.


PSS: In order to make it easier to seduce on the first date, change venues. Even if it's another bar down the street, she will get that feeling as if she is on multiple dates and will be much more comfortable around you. During the venue change, give her that first kiss. I will shamelessly put this here because it has worked very well for me:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207067

 

[scrouds]

If you're going to go all in with the heavy makeout, go for gold. Tell her to follow you back to your place.

Either play the long game, and keep them wanting more then just short makeout or go for gold. Either one can be effective. Hard makeout and no push from you for more leaves a bad taste in a girl and can sour any future.

 

[Reyaj]

Reyaj,


Try meeting women in ways other than online, if you can. Many times, it takes more than just a few email or text exchanges to establish a connection with these online chicks that's stronger than their inclination to fade away or even flake on you after just one date.


Some other suggestions are:

• Try minimizing the use of alcohol on some of your dates (sometimes too much can dull your senses and you'll miss subtle signs of a woman's increasing or decreasing interest in you.)

• Try driving the women to THEIR cars rather than the other way around---unless they insist. If you're the one in the drivers seat (literally), then that'll put you in a more naturally dominant position and you'll be able to assume more control over the speed, the tone, and the way that the dates end. Indeed---it's only a subtle difference, but trust me---it can make a difference.

• Try practicing the "less is more" strategy by NOT going for more than one kiss on some of these dates (Sometimes, you can give off that strong sexy vibe with a woman, turn her ON with a kiss---but NOT overwhelm her, and that will leave HER wanting more. Then, SHE might actually begin to come after YOU more assertively for a change---but you've got to give her a chance to do so. It's possible that you may be coming off as too aggressive or one-dimensional to some of these chicks.)

• Don't forget: Just like YOU'RE hollerin' at a bunch of eligible prospects online----so are THEY. And women with a lot of options will use ANY excuse they can come up with "NOT" to date you. And the more attractive some of these women are, the more attention they're subject to be getting from many random guys. So you have to be mindful to some extent to do, behave, and BE different from the army of horny online guys that these women may be meeting.

• Lastly, I REPEAT:Try meeting women OFFLINE a little more. When you meet women in more natural ways as you're going about your everyday life, SOMETIMES it will make your connection more real, and more HUMAN than meeting them online. And when you meet these women, try giving off the strong sexual vibe with them BUT dial back "just a little" how aggressively you act on your sexual interest towards them.

Better to work on consciously giving these women the impression that you're "HOT" rather than unconsciously leaving them with the impression that you're just "in heat".

Thanks for the response VL. I actually meet girls everywhere (day game, club game online etc....) The online game is actually something I just started doing since late last year.... To be honest I don't really notice much of a difference between the flakiness of girls... I've had similar experiences in all scenarios.... I did meet this hot polish girl a month ago at a club.... I'll prob be meeting up with her soon so we'll see how that goes for a current example.

Regarding minimizing the use of alcohol on dates.... I do agree with this to an extent.... the flip side of this though is that I've found that the more a girl and I drink together the more susceptible she is to hooking up.... It just usually ends up in the car.. and more times than not never really goes further than a make out and some groping. I pulled a girl once doing this... but she was the one who said "Do you really want me to leave?" to which I replied "No, want to go back to my place?".... but most of the time they basically end the date saying they have to go or they will see my next time. I did actually get another girl back to my room (I wrote a recent post about this) by telling her to come up... but she didn't give it up....

Regarding who drives who to each other's car.... I also agree with your advice to an extent.... I mean when I've picked girls up from their homes on dates and dropped them off I've often been able to get a make out going... However when I meet a girl somewhere which is often the scenario of the first date... there really isn't any reason to drive anyone to their car because its the same parking lot. What I do is purposely park far away from the place so that it creates an excuse for them to drive me back. This gives us isolation in her car for me to go for a kiss

Regarding practicing less is more with the kiss.... I think this is the part of my game that I keep f$(#$* up! I mean when I kissed too lightly I had girls flake on me..... so then when i start kissing more passionately at least I would get these makeouts... but recently girls have been flaking even after this.... I just can't seem to get it right.... For example with the first girl in this thread I made out with her hot... and she became flaky... so the next girl (the 6 figure salary chick) I kissed her only once more lightly and then just left the car. She still flaked..... So I really need to get a solid first date foundation kiss close strategy down.... Maybe you can share some examples of successes you've had?

I agree and know 100% that mostly all these girls have a rotation of guys they are juggling and they are looking for excuses to next you..... I know I am so close to becoming the expert I always I wanted to be.... but something is missing and I've been rattling my brain for some time now trying to figure it out. Again If you can share any reports of dates you've had which were successful maybe I can pick something up.... I know I am close.... I can usually get a girl's IL, get her to meet, and often get a kiss...... but I am stuck after this.... (although some girls I've banged... just not the norm)

I think the girls I've banged relatively soon ruined me because I kind of expect that now all the time and feel disappointed when it doesn't happen.... Especially when they were often hotter than these prude girls who play games.

 

[Reyaj]

It's absolutely the follow-up. It's not what you do during the date, but how you handle yourself after. Women are like cats, the more you validate their desires, the less they will be interested in you.

You aren't doing anything wrong during the date. Kiss closes are a good sign. Don't try to alter anything during the first date, you want to get a process and stick to it during the first meeting. You are doing a great job, so any woman that defects from the process should be an automatic next. As always, the kiss is not the end goal, it is the first step. See how far you can get away with on the first date.

Good luck!

PS: A woman willing to give you a ride to your car, regardless of how far it may be, is a positive sign of a good first date.


PSS: In order to make it easier to seduce on the first date, change venues. Even if it's another bar down the street, she will get that feeling as if she is on multiple dates and will be much more comfortable around you. During the venue change, give her that first kiss. I will shamelessly put this here because it has worked very well for me:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207067

Yes I agree I am doing something right..... Maybe I do need to change venues... but I often meet the girl at a local chain restaurant in like a mall.... so there's not really a lot of options on changing.... Can you give me an example of one of your dates and where you went and changed venues and when you escalated kissing etc....? I think reading other's examples may help me here

 

[Reyaj]

If you're going to go all in with the heavy makeout, go for gold. Tell her to follow you back to your place.

Either play the long game, and keep them wanting more then just short makeout or go for gold. Either one can be effective. Hard makeout and no push from you for more leaves a bad taste in a girl and can sour any future.

Will asking a girl flat out to come back to your place or go to hers turn her off on the first meeting? I always have this in the back of my head.... I've banged girls before but they always would say it first.... most of the girls I have been dating recently seem like they want the date to end.... One girl I was making out with hardcore said "so date number 2?" Meaning we should make plans again..

 

[BeDJ]

Hey Reyaj!

VL doesn't frequent these forums much so I will try to do my best to touch up on his response since he and I share similar approaches.

As far as online dating, women have plenty of options without much substance. I have attracted better quality and higher interest women from the conventional method of social game and putting myself out there . Not to say that you will find better prospects offline, but that has been my experience.

With women that you just meet, regardless of a bar or social venue...if they are (highly) interested in you, they will agree to anywhere you change venues at. It's my go-to indicator of interest. If she does not want to change venues and continue the 'date,' you have yet to make her feel comfortable and establish vale in her eyes. Perhaps this is what you need to brush up on in the 30 minutes of conversation. A woman who is interested in you will follow you. For the first date, if she is willing to go in my car (assuming I am sober to drive,) she is comfortable and would like to know you more. If not, you will need to work on attracting her within the first venue. Of course you can't attract them all, but you should have a process of doing it. Building that initial 'connection' will make it MUCH easier in seducing them. If you find yourself having trouble with changing venues, you aren't able to lower her defensive. The initial conversation should be 100% getting her comfortable to have you make the decision and progress of the date. It does not matter if you are taking her to a cheap dive bar or Gordon Ramsey's Steakhouse; The medium is in the message.

Sometimes you want to 'slow play' the first date, but it will always go in your favor. By slow playing it is if you want to preserve intimacy until further dates. What I have found is that it cripples the attraction during subsequent dates. The further you get with a woman, the softer the putty in your hands. She will always begin to rationalize WHY she made out with you, groped you and had sex with you. My belief is that as men, that's what we are designed to do....FVCK. I've only had ONE encounter with sex on the first date where she never contacted me again. Always push the envelope and see how far you can get away with.

Good Luck!

 

[scrouds]

For every woman that initiates, there are many more that are open to it but won't take the initiative. They will wait for you to do so. That's up to you. Not all your dates will be open to it, it might even make you lose a couple. But if what you currently do does ot work, it's time to change it up. Like anything worth doing in life, you will try things, learn, grow, find what works for you and why doesn't. With practice and an year to try things you will get better.

 

[Reyaj]

I ended up banging a crazy slvt with issues I met off POF last Friday. I will post field report soon. Basically she made it very clear she wanted tBeo bang.. Stay tuned.

BeDJ and Scrouds thanks for the advice. I will respond to that soon as well.

 

[compleks]

I never wait till the end of a date to kiss her.

You should have a pretty good idea if she will be receptive or not before the end of the date. If not, go for it anyway and you find out pretty quickly.

If you meet for dinner/drinks/coffee/ice cream, a simple walk is a good enough change and perfect opportunity to kiss her.
Then you can continue the date and progress later if it feels right.

 

[Reyaj]

I never wait till the end of a date to kiss her.

You should have a pretty good idea if she will be receptive or not before the end of the date. If not, go for it anyway and you find out pretty quickly.

If you meet for dinner/drinks/coffee/ice cream, a simple walk is a good enough change and perfect opportunity to kiss her.
Then you can continue the date and progress later if it feels right.

I definitely have heard this a lot but haven't always been able to try it.... For example the slvt I banged last Friday actually initiated the kiss with me in the bar... but a lot of girls are worrisome of public displays of affection.

For example the girl I wrote this thread about... we basically were in the same bar all night (nothing else was really in walking distance to change venues)... So the only chance I had to kiss her in isolation was when I got to her car...

Can you give me an example of where you are when you go for the kiss during the date? Do you just do it in front of everyone if you are in a public place?

 

[compleks]

I think the location/timing is largely irrelevant really.

I find it fairly obvious if a kiss will be well received or not. There have only been a few times when I got stuck in the grey area, and I'll generally make a move anyway. Realistically if she isn't convinced by now, then you're probably wasting your time.
That said I was rejected a few weeks ago going in too early, but turned it around later on. But I could tell the interest was there, I just moved too soon and she didn't want to appear too easy.

I'll usually say something funny/cheeky (at their expense). Wait for a pause and make eye contact.

The eyes never lie.!
If they want you to kiss them the eyes will give it away every time.