Cold shouldering a hoe

[CaptAhab]

I work with this HOT attention wh0re girl who I had a secret 6 month relationship with. It ended because we drove each other crazy from seeing each other all the time at work and in private.

Clearly, I made the mistake of shizzing where you eat. Things were fine after. We remained friends and we agreed that we wouldn't dip in the work pool anymore because it would be a pain to deal with for the other person. She had a fling outside work which was cool. I supported her and we joked around about it. I started doing my own thing.

Well this girl started catching feelings for another guy at work... she even hung out with him a few times. I feel disrespected because I have to see it in front of my eyes every day and it makes me uncomfortable. She knows this and I can tell she does. She is subtly manipulative. She wants me as an orbiter while she hooks up with this other dude. Nah *****. I started to give her the cold shoulder. To punish her for disrespecting me like that by withdrawing my attention - But also for my own sanity. She is written off. I'm cool with her seeing other guys outside of work... but I stated my case. We discussed it many times.

Part of me feels guilty, another part of me says foock that bietch. My trust and dignity were breached.

Clearly my problem is that I work with her. But I'm just curious as to what the right move is without quitting my job.

Side note:

I can tell she gets upset about it because she is normally so gregarious and friendly with everyone but she has been pretty shutdown by the whole thing. It makes me a little sad to see but the moment I act friendly again, she treats me like I'm her lapdog, which I'm not. I'd honestly rather just quit instead of expending all this energy not focused on my job but that's not an option right now.

 

[dude99]

I work with this HOT attention wh0re girl who I had a secret 6 month relationship with. It ended because we drove each other crazy from seeing each other all the time at work and in private.

Clearly, I made the mistake of shizzing where you eat. Things were fine after. We remained friends and we agreed that we wouldn't dip in the work pool anymore because it would be a pain to deal with for the other person. She had a fling outside work which was cool. I supported her and we joked around about it. I started doing my own thing.

Well this girl started catching feelings for another guy at work... she even hung out with him a few times. I feel disrespected because I have to see it in front of my eyes every day and it makes me uncomfortable. She knows this and I can tell she does. She is subtly manipulative. She wants me as an orbiter while she hooks up with this other dude. Nah *****. I started to give her the cold shoulder. To punish her for disrespecting me like that by withdrawing my attention - But also for my own sanity. She is written off. I'm cool with her seeing other guys outside of work... but I stated my case. We discussed it many times.

Part of me feels guilty, another part of me says foock that bietch. My trust and dignity were breached.

Clearly my problem is that I work with her. But I'm just curious as to what the right move is without quitting my job.

Side note:

I can tell she gets upset about it because she is normally so gregarious and friendly with everyone but she has been pretty shutdown by the whole thing. It makes me a little sad to see but the moment I act friendly again, she treats me like I'm her lapdog, which I'm not. I'd honestly rather just quit instead of expending all this energy not focused on my job but that's not an option right now.

Sounds like you caught some feels too or else you wouldn't feel disrespected. You two agreed not to date anymore. Now that you are seeing her have feels for a coworker it is bothering you.

Yes she will want you to be an orbiter. They all do. Yes she will see it bother you yes she will enjoy this. Don't let it bother you and move on.

Dude Zero F_cks should be given. Go date other women.

 

[Konada]

She didn't disrespect you by hooking up with others, after all you guys ended it and she has no responsibility to you anyway. Sounds like you caught the feelings and is jealous some other dude at work is nailing her. By all means give her the cold shoulder, but only to move on and not to get back at her.

 

[lizardking82]

So you hooked up with this girl for about 6 months, it stopped and now you feel disrespected because she's living her life? I think you feel bad because she's hooking up and you're not hooking up with someone else you enjoy as much as her, that should be it. You have no right to feel disrespected LOL and noone gives a **** you feel disrespected.

Get out and hunt, stop crying like a little baby that some other guy got your ex.

 

[AlphaNate]

Can't un-ring a bell. You gotta let it go.

How many other women are you seeing?

 

[CaptAhab]

Yah no ****. Notice how I said I'm doing it for me?

I should probably mention that most days I do great. I joke around with people. Chat up other girls at work. Have my own girls on the side. I'm charismatic as **** and work with some hot girls. I used to be cool with the girl and say Hi, and that was it. Things were fine. But if I give her any semblance of respect and ask her how things are going in passing she looks at me in disgust and yet she will do the same to me and expect an answer like we're buddies or ask me to do things for her and stupid **** like that and she gets butt hurt when I say no. If I say yes she will trash me even if it's something small that I would do for a friend. I would try to say yes to keep the peace but now I always say no because it's manipulative. Then she sulks and sulks. So I keep it short and to the point and only talk to her if it's about work. I decided to fully ignore her and avoid her completely for that reason. She is obsessed with power games and she would drop lines about power in relationships while we were hanging out so she knows what's up. She isn't stupid. I forgot to mention that she is an alcoholic and into drugs and has deeeeep daddy issues. It's toxic. Crazy how much red flags came out near the end of our relationship. Things I didn't notice at first. This last thing makes me feel a little jealous yah, because crazy poossy is good poossy... but mostly disgusted with myself that I was too dumb to see all the red flags.

This is the first time in my life where I've literally had to cut someone toxic off that I can't avoid and give them the cold shoulder knowingly. The part that gets me is how we were good friends before all this, so that's why I expect respect and why I gave it at first. But I guess women don't play by the rules of men. Call it what you want, but when you see someone more than your own friends and family, it's not as easy as just get over it. I'm never going back to that if I have a chance but I am dealing with the aftermath and it's really farking annoying because its draining. I keep composure. I play it straight. I snap out of it if I notice I'm feeling down. I meditate. Do cold showers. Workout hard. Do martial arts. I have a lot going for me in terms of emotional control... but this just seems like a big test of patience and character.

And to answer your question... I got 3 girls. Been working like crazy in the evening and on weekends so it's hard to make time for them tho. So I end up seeing psycho instead all day.

 

[AlphaNate]

You obviously have your head on straight. The best thing you could do would be to discard feelings for this girl completely, so you don't care what else is going on in her life.

If you can't manage this, you may have to work somewhere else and chalk this up as a learning experience. That's the weak way out, but do what you gotta do, as long as you learn from it.

 

[CaptAhab]

You obviously have your head on straight. The best thing you could do would be to discard feelings for this girl completely, so you don't care what else is going on in her life.

If you can't manage this, you may have to work somewhere else and chalk this up as a learning experience. That's the weak way out, but do what you gotta do, as long as you learn from it.

Thanks. Sobering words

 

[The Duke]

CaptAhab- you come across as a little butt hurt. You need to move on. She doesn't owe you anything. Go find some other girls.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

So why not openly flirt with other girls in front of her? Girls that are HOTTER than her, just because it will make her feel lesser than you lol.