cold feet

memphis12

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Well ive been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 months, she was in long term relationship for 2 years prior- she had been friends with my sis for long time but i never took much notice of her as i hardly seen her. My sis told me she had been unhappy with her lad for some time, wanted to finish him for ages, but every time she did he told her he would kill himself etc, and was very possesive etc.
She ended it with him as she had fancied me for long time but i never was interested. Ive been told by her and my sis and her mates she has never cheated before, but something was different about me.... so we ended up together after she finished her lad properly.
The thing is since we have been together (she is 19 nearly 20 and i am 25 nealry 26, her mam had afair behind her dads back from what she new about from when she was 13 onwatds so she has mattured alot) for nearly 4 months and in this time we have spent every spare second together, she would come home from work early to see me when i was off etc. and we stay at each others houses every night. According to her friends she has never been like this with a lad before... so she is properly into me and tells me she loves me all the time etc, and does everything for me, even little things like, having glass of juice on my side of her bed and hot water bottle in my side before i get there, just little things.

SO............. usually i end it with girls after 4 months, dunno why, i just do... but she is different.. or oh i hope! its just that in last month i have been finding anything to let my mind wonder, to think of things that arent there and let her past get to me, and her ex and even stupid things... my friends and even sister say she is border line obbsessed with me... but i still get paranoid alot of the time.. she says the nicest sweetest things- but she is very deep.. she bottles everything up and tells me nothing when she is upset.. she also doesnt like me going out of house when im off, not in crazy way.. she just always says "why dont u just stay in and lie in bed and dont bother going out till u see me" she always wants to know who's ringin me, who's txtn me, who am txtn and lots of other things.. i think this is sweet... but shows no trust on her behalf.. and i feel if she dont trust me then she will cheat on me because she thinks "if he is doing it i might as well"...

Sorry ive wrote so much... i just dunno if im feeling like this becasue A. i dont wanna gte hurt. B. I dont wanna hurt her C. I dont want anyone else to have her.

cheers.
 

Tomatoes

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She wont be sleeping around with this kind of behavior. At least i have NEVER seen it before. This behavior is more of the obsessive controlled aspect rather than a "lack of trust". Still its a red flag behavior to me as I wouldnt put up with it. Some men like there girls that way thow.

You called the post cold feet yet you have not said you are getting cold feet with her?
 

memphis12

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Cheers mate. I thought cold feet was when u were having doubts? as i seem to be having them all the time now.. but i do really love her and want to be with her for rest of my life... so dunno why i keep thinkin like this.

Maybe i should have asked why she goes on like she does... but maybe u have answered that. Never had girl always askin me who's calling, who am ringin. or txtn. She alwasy wants to know where am going.. even though i live in small town that everyone would see me anyway.. she planned to go ski-in wiv her mam dad and bro before she met me.. and her mam has paid alot for her to go.. but she wants me to not leave house the whole time she's away as she thinks she will ring me, al be in pub with some gilr in background saying "steven your drinks here" .. but i cant get my head round why she dont trust me.. she said she finds it hard to trust me as im good lookin and get alot of attention and mainly because her mam cheated on her dad. But she cant go out for girly night with her mates, unless i go out in same place with my mates even though i just want her to go out..
 

Tomatoes

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If you really like her and want to be with her but your seeing this as a real issue. Which it is. It sounds like an obsessive compulsive disorder to me. This **** can be impacted from stuff happening in her childhood. Ie. the problems between her parents. Basically this means shes going to be a little ****ed up by it.

My experierance with these kinds of girls is limited because they show as a red flag and i cut loose on this bagage.

Talk to her about it.... Say that its bothering you s little. Say you want her to be able to go out with her mates and you want to go out with your mates. Identify that you think she doesnt trust you and that this concerns you.
 
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