cold approaching waste of time

[DEEZEDBRAH]

approach 100 girls
get 10-15 numbers
out of 10-15 numbers get
1-3 dates
1-3 dates maybe have sex with 1
average of 3 minutes per interaction

100 x 3 = 300 minutes

300 minutes = 5 hours
5 hours = a full week of gym
or 1/2 of a good self improvement book
or overtime at work which is money

solution? social circle banging..
it would serve you better to take a yoga class and look for iois
with your 5 hours ..

this way you meet women and get something out of the class
the women in the class may not be interested but you can ask them to hook you up with a friend

dance class
yoga
any fitness class

in this day in age .. women don't respond as well to cold approach as they did 10 years ago just my thoughts

Do you have a better sense of what your alternative is?

OLD is cucked. My d won't suck it self. I hit on baeeeee. Most men won't.

I blame low testosterone.

I am not saying there aren't other ways. I am saying, it's volume, work, sales. The alternative is internet porn and waiting for her to hit the wall and raise chads kids?


Count me out. I rather fap.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Quality over quantity, how many guys find a good woman for a relationship from cold approach?

How many find "quality" waman from OLD? For the record, I don't believe in the quality notion. Pay for access to check her digital footprint. Guaranteed to be debunking quality fast.

 

[Georgepithyou]

How many find "quality" waman from OLD? For the record, I don't believe in the quality notion. Pay for access to check her digital footprint. Guaranteed to be debunking quality fast.

Social Circle Is the only real way to find quality women, I never mentioned OLD so I'm not sure why you did.

 

[SW15]

Quality over quantity, how many guys find a good woman for a relationship from cold approach?

It's possible to do. More difficult at the bars than in non-bar venues. A lot of people also end up dissatisfied with their swipe app experience too.

In 2020 Cold approaching as an average guy is a waste of time

If you're a high value guy or hell smart guy than social circle is best

But right now with lockdown and shyt who is approaching women?

Even daygame? good luck with that

The general idea of this thread that cold approaching is a waste of time has some merit. It is time inefficient even when effective.

Swipe apps are even less time inefficient.

If there's a choice between cold approaching and swipe apps, cold approaching is the better option. If you don't have a social circle option, you're going to have to choose between the two. Developing a social circle is also a time and labor intensive task, and some circles aren't even all that great in producing setups for relationships.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Social Circle Is the only real way to find quality women, I never mentioned OLD so I'm not sure why you did.

Not been my experience man. Power to you if you find a gem. I hear modern life reading gospel on a virtuous woman. I've never known that in my life. Not ever. Bless your soul mate in your path should you find that. I am fairly belligerent about the cuckoldry that is modern marriage. The outlier and anomaly being the Muslim married (non related lulz) religious marriage. The odd high school or college sweetheart. Married her on top form smv 18-23. Not red pill, just off the carousel.

 

[forcerecon01]

Thirsty men chase puzzy. Attractive men choose puzzy

no kidding .

 

[pipeman84]

The way I see it, why try to manufacture attraction by invading strange women’s space, when you can just approach the ones who are warmed up to you?

The other problem I see with cold approaches is that you are approaching as a beggar. You have already broadcasted that you are all-in with her, that you are assigning unmerited value to her. In this situation you offer yourself, and will abide by her decision to accept or reject you. She has done absolutely nothing to earn your favor, yet you put yourself in that Inferior position.

Life will serve up plenty of warm dishes if you learn to present yourself well and learn to recognize women’s invitations.

^^ this 100%
Also, trying to verbalize why I feel visceral disdain for cold approaching I realized the following...it's because it goes against the human nature and male-female dynamics...the normal dynamic, and this goes for other mammals (think of vocalizations in cats in heat), not just humans, is that the woman presents her receptivity to being approached by a man through indicators of interests (IOIs). If the man picks up those IOIs and he's interested, he approaches.

 

[SW15]

Cold approach is the dating world equivalent of telemarketing. Pure numbers game with low probability of success; to be used as a last resort.

This is generally true, especially in non-bar venues. At least with bars, you know that they are single if they are showing up. Not enough people equate cold approaching with cold calling for sales. Cold calling for sales was discredited in the 1990s.

The dating websites of the 1990s like Match and eHarmony were developed because the bar scene and random non-bar approaching are generally high effort, low yield plays. They were high effort, low yield in 1990, 2005, and now in 2022.

However, dating websites and later dating apps did not fix the problem but rather compounded it. Those are actually bigger wastes of time than randomly approaching strangers.

 

[Pokerbaby]

Exactly this. Live your life. do stuff that interests you. Everyone needs to eat. Meet women in grocery stores. Maybe you like to play poker. Though there's not many women there's waitresses, dealers, massage artists. Live your life and notice opportunities to communicate.

Women are naturally on their guard at places like clubs and bars.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I used to think just like OP did as someone who was mostly reliant on social circles, dating apps (tons of matches), and also the occasional drunk lay from bars and nightclubs back when nightgame was actually good. A part of me saw PUAs as clowns and some of them were legitimate idiots like Sasha daygame (god, screw that idiot). All of this was back when I was having success on dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge, back when these dating apps were full of actual women and not bots and OnlyFans accounts like they are right now. As someone who has had way more experiences with social circles than cold approach, let me explain to all outsiders that social circles are a waste of time if your reasoning is to get laid a lot or even meet quality women.

OP recommended yoga, I laugh at this. Most yoga classes are flooded with guys who think exactly like OP does. A lot of these guys flood into yoga classes and women are already on guard as a result of it. Best case scenario you get one hookup but if you screw more than one girl, you incur the wrath of the circle and things go poorly for you.

On top of this, OP talks about time wasted with cold approach. Social circle is a far bigger investment than cold approach ever will be. You miss the countless hours spent guarding your reputation, the mental exhaustion of all the drama they incur, and how much it is to maintain. You also have to do all the things the circle does like brunches on weekend (expensive!) and going out with them if they want to.

As for "classes", those are expensive too if you want to meet quality women. The ones in NYC ran for $100++. Yeah, every dude was trying to pay an Equinox membership as well to approach women. Equinox is not a cheap gym but every hot girl was there. You were just any other guy and the women knew why you were joining the classes too, to talk to them. Oh and the subtle ****blocking from friends, instructors, and other jealous dudes was insane.

Everyone wants the easy pill.

Everyone wants to feel like they can just make friends and models will fall into their laps, it doesn't work that way.

Everyone wants to feel like they can get a magic hobby and models will party with them.

Here is the truth, it is ALL tough and for most men, a waste of time. For most men to even consider anything other than an LTR with a decent looking girl is a waste of time no matter if you do daygame, nightgame, or social circle game.

For me, cold approaching has been a godsend. I have met way more women and had some promising opportunities through daygame.

Problem is that most men never learn and they end up sounding like OP as a result. They will spam with the same openers, not pay attention to their body language, not learn how to talk to women properly, and then say it is a waste of time.

Social circle game is a far bigger waste of time, energy, and resources than cold approaching ever will be.

 

[SW15]

As someone who has had way more experiences with social circles than cold approach, let me explain to all outsiders that social circles are a waste of time if your reasoning is to get laid a lot or even meet quality women.

I have romanticized social circle stuff in my mind for the following reasons.

1. In my main local social circle, I know 3 couples (2 married, 1 engaged) that formed from social circle game, though one formed from a college social circle prior to moving to my current city.
2. In your other social circle thread, I mention a guy who has had 2 marriages from social circle game.

None of the 4 guys here dealt with a fraction of the bad female behavior I've dealt with over time as a cold approacher or internet dater in the earlier stages of dating, though they'll probably all get bad shiit on the back end of the relationships. In point 2 above, the guy got divorced. I'm sure that involved some shiity female behavior.

OP recommended yoga, I laugh at this. Most yoga classes are flooded with guys who think exactly like OP does. A lot of these guys flood into yoga classes and women are already on guard as a result of it. Best case scenario you get one hookup but if you screw more than one girl, you incur the wrath of the circle and things go poorly for you.

I've only been to yoga a few times. I've never liked the vibe of yoga. Most men who go to yoga are going to get their penises wet.

As for "classes", those are expensive too if you want to meet quality women. The ones in NYC ran for $100++. Yeah, every dude was trying to pay an Equinox membership as well to approach women. Equinox is not a cheap gym but every hot girl was there. You were just any other guy and the women knew why you were joining the classes too, to talk to them. Oh and the subtle ****blocking from friends, instructors, and other jealous dudes was insane.

I have been to many fitness classes in the bootcamp style. These classes have a much better vibe than yoga. This includes some cardio boxing/kickboxing. I have never taken a class at Equinox or have been an Equinox member. There are Equinox locations in my area. I have taken classes at my primary gym, which is an independent that would be on the level of chain gyms such as LA Fitness/24 Hour Fitness. I have also taken classes at some facilities besides my primary gym.

I have gotten dates from bootcamp style fitness classes, but approaching and arranging dates at these classes was high effort and low yield.

Despite the great ratios in these classes, most women at all 3 facilities I mentioned were not very social before/after classes. It was difficult to get in some approaches. I did get a few women to agree to dates and I'd get their number. They'd flake before the date happened. I found that insulting because I could have had the same thing happen while using a swipe app and sitting in my underwear at home.

I never got cocckblocked by an instructor or other male, but I did get some subtle cocckblocking from female friends. Not often, but it happened.

On top of this, OP talks about time wasted with cold approach. Social circle is a far bigger investment than cold approach ever will be. You miss the countless hours spent guarding your reputation, the mental exhaustion of all the drama they incur, and how much it is to maintain. You also have to do all the things the circle does like brunches on weekend (expensive!) and going out with them if they want to.

Social circle game is a far bigger waste of time, energy, and resources than cold approaching ever will be.

I agree that social circle is a bigger investment. Some of that shiit is annoying. Weekend brunches are so silly. A lot of guys get their social circles from geographical constancy and from an era before their hormones were raging and they needed to get laid.

Problem is that most men never learn and they end up sounding like OP as a result. They will spam with the same openers, not pay attention to their body language, not learn how to talk to women properly, and then say it is a waste of time.

The problem is that most men don't do approaching strangers all that well and it ends up being a disaster. Social circles are easier to do well if you have geographic constancy in your childhood and early adulthood years and you aren't a complete social reject in middle school and high school.

 

[Pokerbaby]

I would never join a yoga class unless I actually enjoyed doing Yoga.