Cold approaching help needed, not doing well at this new school

[Boricua_33015]

Hey, I've been at this school for about 2 months. The school is ghetto... the area is, and so most girls are "chongas" (snotty, loud az fuk latin b1tches with much lip and very high b1tch sheilds and LOVE drama since they watch all those spanish soap operas) and mostly the rest are ditzy and rarely sweet. (I am speaking of the good looking girls)

I have gotten myself acquainted to some people in my classes, but my lack of conversational skills, awkwardness and uncomfortableness have really limited what I could have done. I still keep my head up high and try not to worry if I think a conversation went well or not.... but really, not many at all have ever been really good.

So that leaves me with alot less than a desired number of acquaintances.. I haven't really made any connections through them because it is hard to find an oppurtunity to connect. I see a couple during lunch walking around and I say "wussup" to them and clap hands, but thats usually all I do. Only have about 3 girls I talk to during class. All 3 don't even look good. One of them is a short, loud chonga wit a big ass, bout a 6 in my book. 5 is average for me. I can tell she likes me but hardly speaks any english so I don't converse with her, just say "hey" to her when I see her. Another is one big and tall ass preppy woman, I think taller than me and I am 5'9, 5'10ish. She is a ditzy brunette. LOL. She looks all unsure of herself when she is with me. Another girl I know is just damn ugly, but I can tell she likes me.

During lunch I picked 2 places to stand or sit at by myself, but it is just way too uncomfortable. Especially when I see the same groups of people around the places I have been at alone. It makes me think that they wonder or talk about me thinking I am anti-social or something, especially the good looking girls. I would've liked to approach one girl I see everyday but since I did not approach her first before making the area she chills in my "spot" to chill by myself at, it would seem awkward if I do approach her now. It would make it seem like I hesitated.... but EVEN THOUGH I am in this situation, I still get a feeling that she at least thinks I am sexy, because she gets more... "alive" and more charismatic around mel. But I think her freinds either think I am a loser or think the same as her.... I just have't paid attention to any "gut" feelings I got from them, only her. I chill at a pretty big distance away from her. I just don't want to seem like I hesitated ALOT to approach her, and I did... but once I hesitate, I might as well not approach at all because girls can detect that, ESPECIALLY when that hesitation has been as long as maybe a whole damn month.

Now for the reason that I don't want the same people seeing me repeatedly at those places alone, I decided to start walking laps around the school like an idiot. Now everyday I do see some of my "acquaintances" around, but I always see them walking around to some place, or just walking around. I have only seen 2 GUYS around that sometimes stay in one place. One of them I have seen standing alone by himself during the morning, and I had a conversation with him that time, but now everytime I see him I get a feeling that he is highly uncomfortable or just doesn't want to talk to me or anyone. So I just say "wussup". The other guy that I've seen standing in one place I have said wussup to many times while passing by, but the first day of school coming back from the winter break I decided to spark up a conversation about the winter break. He is a pretty unsure guy, but he still talks to madd people. When I stayed for that short conversation he was talking to some girl and I said "so whose this?" and he introduced me, but I forgot her name instantly after the intro. Hey, the girl was fat and ugly! The conversation was short because I felt highly uncomfortable as I felt like I had interrupted what he and the girl had going, and plus at the time I did not know how to continue a convo. So after some short dialogue I said "well I'll ima leave now, I'll see you in class", and left.

That was my first and only ABLE attempt to make a connection.... it is just so damn hard to make connections with the so little people I know, PLUS during the mornings and the lunch period they are always walking somewhere. Perhaps to 1 of the 2 cafeteria's we have. Yea it's a big, but old school. So there is a new building which they just built for this year with a new cafeteria along with the old one in the old buildings. A new gymnasium is also being built.

The fun is not at all at the clubs or school activities. All the people hang out in clicks, they have guy clicks and girl clicks, and both. The fine chicks are more than willing to ****, but you gotta have status, and really good game. Plus, about half the people in the school or maybe more ONLY speak spanish, so that takes away a WHOLE lotta girls! and that's where all or most the fine b1tches at! The ones who only speak spanish are really... snotty, and loud.

So now that you are completely up to date with my school happenings, (and I congratulate you, and appreciate it you if I have gotten this far in this whole damn "essay") now hopefully you can give me feedback, perhaps some tips and/or suggestions that you think could help me.

I have decided that I NEEED to do some cold approaches if I want to get farther in this school. So please, if you know of any, sources that deal with Cold Approaches, please link them to me. You are also welcome to post any tips.

 

[pulchritudinous chum]

Dude- I'm the first person to reply to this message because you whine too much. Do you know what miracle you've been blessed with to find this website? I only scanned through your message but I saw some major lack of being able to do much of any social activity. I wish a real Don Juan was around to post one of their life changes responses, but none seem to be- so it's all up to you. Take the time to read the DJ bible and go through the DJ boot camp! I'm very social and get laid more than most people I know, and this guide has started to make me the man I want to be and never thought I could become. It's only a guide though that helps you understand the world a bit better- what effect it has it all up to you. All the luck with your new school, it's a GREAT situation to be in using the guide.

 

[Capone]

Originally Posted By pulchritudinous chum
Take the time to read the DJ bible and go through the DJ boot camp!

pulchritudinous chum, considering that Boricua's got over 700 posts, I think it'd be safe to assume that he's read the DJ bible and gone through at least one boot camp. If he hasn't, well then i guess there's no hope.

anyway, I'm in a simillar situation as you Boricua as I have also switched to a new school this year. It has its (really big) pluses because nobody knows who the hell you are and what you're like. Its essentially a blank page that you can fill out (but must live up to). Unfortunatly, meeting people was my problem too. In my case I was lucky that I knew a kid from this school from a long time ago and managed to befriend a HB that was friends with him. This got me started off.

The trouble is, most people have already known each other for years and they are really cold any time I try to make conversation. My guess is that your situation is quite similar. A great way to expand your social circle would be to join some clubs. I got my 'close' circle of friends to be the A/V club with me. Its fun ****. Get to miss class and **** around with sound during masses that we have (usually subtle enough that people think its supposed to happen). Also, if your school has a weightlifting room/club, joining it would be a good idea. You can work on self-improvement (big plus) and hopefully meet / befriend some people.

I'm not sure how well cold approaches would work in a school environment. Self-improvement is key. You should definatly focus on being friendly/charismatic. Conversation skills will come with practise. Right now my efforts have been going to becoming friends with people in classes. Just sit beside someone (if you are allowed the choice) and run game on them (but for your own sake, don't hit on the guys ). This may take some time, but eventually you'll become friends.

As for the cafeteria thing, get closer with the aquaintances that are showing interest / you'd like to hang with and then just chill with them. As pook and numerous other people have said: Be the MAN. Try just walking up and sitting down with them. As for the HB, I think you should just put that on hold for a while while you get "settled" with a group of friends.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Dude- I'm the first person to reply to this message because you whine too much. Do you know what miracle you've been blessed with to find this website? I only scanned through your message but I saw some major lack of being able to do much of any social activity. I wish a real Don Juan was around to post one of their life changes responses, but none seem to be- so it's all up to you. Take the time to read the DJ bible and go through the DJ boot camp! I'm very social and get laid more than most people I know, and this guide has started to make me the man I want to be and never thought I could become. It's only a guide though that helps you understand the world a bit better- what effect it has it all up to you. All the luck with your new school, it's a GREAT situation to be in using the guide.

You are right, I could have saved all the details from you guys and just asked for the help that was needed, but I just felt the need to provide some background information of the situation I was in.

BTW, I thought up of a VERY VERY helpful solution to communicating the way that I want to, and that is consciously anchoring a clear mind state of being in the present moment, making way for CLEAR and VERY quick and accurate thinking.

The problem was I had too much anxiety and preoccupation in my mind that it made it very difficult to even speak in situations because mental fog was cluttering my mind. As a result this made it hard to even focus on the topic I want to speak about and even have a correct flow of words from my mind to mouth.... usually because my mind becomes "blank", or rather blank on the subject I am speaking of and focusing on my anxiety.

I tried my solution and it made me such a better speaker and I was speaking with a clear mind.... I did not even have to have think of making myself confident, I already was because I cleared my mind from any negativity and focused on the topic I was speaking of. It is unnecessary to have confidence in my solution because I KNOW it works, and I KNOW it will help me communicate, without the awkwardness and without anxiety, clear mind which makes a clear path to social confidence, and that is really all I need right now.

Thanks for your feedback, I read the DJ bible twice.... I've been at this site for about a year or 2.

Besides that... I would really like to have some links some sources with cold approach information, if that is possible.

 

[Boricua_33015]

pulchritudinous chum, considering that Boricua's got over 700 posts, I think it'd be safe to assume that he's read the DJ bible and gone through at least one boot camp. If he hasn't, well then i guess there's no hope.

anyway, I'm in a simillar situation as you Boricua as I have also switched to a new school this year. It has its (really big) pluses because nobody knows who the hell you are and what you're like. Its essentially a blank page that you can fill out (but must live up to). Unfortunatly, meeting people was my problem too. In my case I was lucky that I knew a kid from this school from a long time ago and managed to befriend a HB that was friends with him. This got me started off.

The trouble is, most people have already known each other for years and they are really cold any time I try to make conversation. My guess is that your situation is quite similar. A great way to expand your social circle would be to join some clubs. I got my 'close' circle of friends to be the A/V club with me. Its fun ****. Get to miss class and **** around with sound during masses that we have (usually subtle enough that people think its supposed to happen). Also, if your school has a weightlifting room/club, joining it would be a good idea. You can work on self-improvement (big plus) and hopefully meet / befriend some people.

I'm not sure how well cold approaches would work in a school environment. Self-improvement is key. You should definatly focus on being friendly/charismatic. Conversation skills will come with practise. Right now my efforts have been going to becoming friends with people in classes. Just sit beside someone (if you are allowed the choice) and run game on them (but for your own sake, don't hit on the guys ). This may take some time, but eventually you'll become friends.

As for the cafeteria thing, get closer with the aquaintances that are showing interest / you'd like to hang with and then just chill with them. As pook and numerous other people have said: Be the MAN. Try just walking up and sitting down with them. As for the HB, I think you should just put that on hold for a while while you get "settled" with a group of friends.

Thanks for the reply.

I currently attend a weight training class, so no need to join a weight training club. I have been on the road to self improvement and have lost over 50 pounds since I started and still continue to do so. I have 20 pounds left to reach my desired weight goal. Having a low carb diet sort of restricts having connections because I am sure most people that I know eat at the cafeteria or just eat period and sit down somewhere to eat... I don't eat anything during lunch because the food does not fit my low carbs diet, so I don't even go to the cafeteria.... there is no point. I bet if I did eat though I could have places to sit next to acquaintances and that would make way for massive oppurtunities and making connections. Perhaps that is the BEST way but I just have to work with what I have.

I have looked at all the clubs, and none of them interest me. I am not interested in sports. I am interested in Martial Arts right now, but that is outside of school, and I also HAD the same problem with social awkwardness that I spoke of my post above.

But like I said I found an easy solution to this, and I probably will be posting on it soon. This is probably be my first "Tip" that I post, and not "concepts" which usually fail, but I don't care really how it goes.... just know that this tip fuking works.

Gotta hit tha sack now, it is already way past my bedtime for the time I have to wake up. Peace

 

[lemieux66]

Originally posted by Boricua_33015
Thanks for the reply.

I currently attend a weight training class, so no need to join a weight training club. I have been on the road to self improvement and have lost over 50 pounds since I started and still continue to do so. I have 20 pounds left to reach my desired weight goal. Having a low carb diet sort of restricts having connections because I am sure most people that I know eat at the cafeteria or just eat period and sit down somewhere to eat... I don't eat anything during lunch because the food does not fit my low carbs diet, so I don't even go to the cafeteria.... there is no point. I bet if I did eat though I could have places to sit next to acquaintances and that would make way for massive oppurtunities and making connections. Perhaps that is the BEST way but I just have to work with what I have.

I have looked at all the clubs, and none of them interest me. I am not interested in sports. I am interested in Martial Arts right now, but that is outside of school, and I also HAD the same problem with social awkwardness that I spoke of my post above.

But like I said I found an easy solution to this, and I probably will be posting on it soon. This is probably be my first "Tip" that I post, and not "concepts" which usually fail, but I don't care really how it goes.... just know that this tip fuking works.

Gotta hit tha sack now, it is already way past my bedtime for the time I have to wake up. Peace

So wait a minute... you haven't been going to the cafeteria, but you know that if you did go there you would have a place to sit with people and could make connections.... and you're not doing it?! Where do you eat if you don't eat in the cafeteria? Can't you bring a lunch with you?

And I think the fact that nothing interests you has a LOT to do witht he fact that you can't talk to people. What do you even have to talk about? Nothing. For your own sake, join a club. School's have a TON of clubs. There has to be at least one that fits you. Since you "have no interest in sports" (which you should try to acquire, you are gonna be a guy for a long time, and most guys like sports. Trust me, if you liked sports, you would find some guys to talk to. I guarantee it. Again, there are a lot of sports out there, you're probably just ignorant of them. Try to learn and see if you like them. I suggest hockey.) you should try to join student government. Lots of hot girls do studnet government. My senior year I was on the senior board. Me, my buddy, and a bunch of hot girls. Good times.

I think a big problem with your lack of success with girls is your inability to talk to people in general. I think that you trying to work on your game is like a kid learning how to ride a bike and never using training wheels. You're just not ready yet. You can't even talk to people of your own gender. Learning how to talk to guys and making close friendships will give you condifence in all relationships. Not to mention the fact that you're not gonna do well with girls in high school if you have no friends. Girls wanna be with a popular guy. How would you go to a dance with no guy friends? It would be just you and the girl? Now, granted I sound like the one that's crazy with this statement, but you don't want that. You need to have a group to go to dances. You need to have friends to be in a group. I'm starting to get off topic, but the bottom line is, you need guy friends. Work on that first.

Ultimately, we can tell you stuff like "sit in the lunch room" or "join a club" but if you can't talk to people, you will never reach the level of success you're hoping for.

--Mike

 

[AmgineEX]

RE

I lived in Pembroke Pines for 3yrs (30min north of Miami). I know the type of woman you are refering to. Unfortuately, in South Florida, esp the Greater/Lesser Miami area, if you're not Latin, you're a minority. However, the right DJ skills appy to all women, across racial barriers. Try it, it will still work. High school seems to be full of little *****es and their popularity contests. Just work on making friends and the women will come later.

 

[Boricua_33015]

So wait a minute... you haven't been going to the cafeteria, but you know that if you did go there you would have a place to sit with people and could make connections.... and you're not doing it?! Where do you eat if you don't eat in the cafeteria? Can't you bring a lunch with you?

I dont eat lunch. School ends at 1:30 and I can eat at home if I want to.

And I think the fact that nothing interests you has a LOT to do witht he fact that you can't talk to people. What do you even have to talk about? Nothing. For your own sake, join a club. School's have a TON of clubs. There has to be at least one that fits you. Since you "have no interest in sports" (which you should try to acquire, you are gonna be a guy for a long time, and most guys like sports. Trust me, if you liked sports, you would find some guys to talk to. I guarantee it. Again, there are a lot of sports out there, you're probably just ignorant of them. Try to learn and see if you like them. I suggest hockey.) you should try to join student government. Lots of hot girls do studnet government. My senior year I was on the senior board. Me, my buddy, and a bunch of hot girls. Good times.

I wouldn't join a sport or club just for popularity, I'd do it if it interested me. The popularity in my school isn't about football or any sports or clubs. In fact there isn't really 1 or 2 popular crowds. It is alot of people, so popularity really doesn't matter much as long as you have a decent amount of freinds. I am taking martial arts classes and I think there are some stuents from my school that attend the classes. I might wanna get acquainted with them, but I just need to work at it.

I think a big problem with your lack of success with girls is your inability to talk to people in general. I think that you trying to work on your game is like a kid learning how to ride a bike and never using training wheels. You're just not ready yet. You can't even talk to people of your own gender. Learning how to talk to guys and making close friendships will give you condifence in all relationships. Not to mention the fact that you're not gonna do well with girls in high school if you have no friends. Girls wanna be with a popular guy. How would you go to a dance with no guy friends? It would be just you and the girl? Now, granted I sound like the one that's crazy with this statement, but you don't want that. You need to have a group to go to dances. You need to have friends to be in a group. I'm starting to get off topic, but the bottom line is, you need guy friends. Work on that first.

You are absolutely right, in fact I thought about this very same exact thing as I was going to bed. It is true, maybe I should lay off seduction or putting so much pressure on myself, and just learn how to talk period. But right now I just see possibly no hope in making anymore connections with the people I already know, and would like to start trying to get some cold approaches done, and then popularity/status will all come by itself.

 

[Sato21m]

what's the name of the new school

 

[Boricua_33015]

The school is Hialeah High.

Today I got a bit frustrated because I was in this one class, and the guys in it were all joking around making people laugh and having a good time. Now that was awesome, but I had nothing to contribute. It seemed like everyone had a special connection to each other (perhaps they do I just haven't been there long enough to be a part of that "connection") and they would just joke off of other jokes and say funny things. Now I was laughing just as much as they were, but I just had nothing to contribute. They got all the girls laughing, it was like they were all naturals, and I was there laughing, but I was the only guy in the class who had nothing to contribute, and if I did, I think I'd ruin "the moment".

Perhaps I just need to lighten up a bit more or let the jokes flow on freely.... I noticed that when I actually DID have something to say that I thought was funny, I'd think about how I would prepare it and how I wuld say it and it would end up being too late or just not flowing correctly.

Plus, alot of the people speak spanish, and spanish is a language that really good emphasism and flow to it, and most of the jokes going on were in spanish, although I do not know spanish, I could tell by the reactions they got the jokes were very laughable.

It seems I have alot that is limiting my progress.

Spanish IS my first language.... or WAS because now I don't know hardly anything of it, and enlish I just plain sucked at it, and I don't have the correct flow, or cadence, pace, w/e.... AWKWARD..... although today I used my solution, and it worked out alot better than it usually does.... I think.

I feel like a foreign kid.... I am not fluent in English and I don't know **** of Spanish.

Yea I am done complaining. But I am doing lots of things that are hopefully going to help me improve in whatever I was complaining about, especially developing developing my English fluency. There are no available Spanish classes in my school, but I am planning to buy a book about spanish, and I am going to get a computer program that teaches spanish. I also might want to get some comedy books.... so that may help too.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Well it seems to me that there isn't a great deal of girls to pick from at your school, since you refer to most of them as "chongas".

But since I am a Initial Approach specialist, I believe I can help you.

I have gotten myself acquainted to some people in my classes, but my lack of conversational skills, awkwardness and uncomfortableness have really limited what I could have done. I still keep my head up high and try not to worry if I think a conversation went well or not.... but really, not many at all have ever been really good.

The first thing that you need to do is to figure out exactly WHY these conversations have not been going to well (they could be because of YOU, or because of the people that you are having conversations with). Write down each of these reasons and think of a way to fix them.

So that leaves me with alot less than a desired number of acquaintances.. I haven't really made any connections through them because it is hard to find an oppurtunity to connect.

I think that you might be having trouble with connecting with certain females because of your own insecurities creeping up on you before you go try and talk with them. I think this is why the oppurtunities that you actually DO have are hard to find and see, but you have more than you may think that you do. What you need to do is figure each of your insecurities that creep up on you when you are thinking about approaching a girl. My guess is that it's your language....so confront that insecurity first.

During lunch I picked 2 places to stand or sit at by myself, but it is just way too uncomfortable. Especially when I see the same groups of people around the places I have been at alone. It makes me think that they wonder or talk about me thinking I am anti-social or something, especially the good looking girls.

The best way to fix this problem is to just go over there and talk to them. You are the MALE, so the FEMALE is going to expect for YOU to go over and talk to HER, NOT the other way around. Girls generally aren't interested in un-interesting guys....and your sitting there in the corner is telling these girls that you are NOT interesting, because if you were, then people would be around you.

If you want to become good with women, you're going to have to make an effort to be, it's that simple. It's not going to just come to you naturally if it hasn't already.

I would've liked to approach one girl I see everyday but since I did not approach her first before making the area she chills in my "spot" to chill by myself at, it would seem awkward if I do approach her now.

This is a very common problem. The main reason that most guys choose NOT to approach a girl is because of this one right here: They consider HER wants, feelings, and needs over they're own....even though they don't even KNOW what those wants, needs, or feelings are.

You are too concerned about HER feelings and not enough on your own. You are too concerned about making HER feel comfortable, and not concerned enough with making YOURSELF comfortable. Sure she might be comfortable if you didn't go over there and talked to her, but will YOU?

You're worried that she'll feel akward if you go over there and talk to her. There is no way that you can be CERTAIN that she will even feel this way, to begin with. You , on the other hand, KNOW that you will feel VERY UNCOMFORTABLE if you don't go over there and talk to her....so why are you placing what you THINK she wants, over what you KNOW you want? Look, YOU want to go over there and talk to her, so go over there and do it.

But I think her freinds either think I am a loser or think the same as her.... I just have't paid attention to any "gut" feelings I got from them, only her.

You're not trying to get with her friends....you're trying to get with her, so completely throw them out of the equation. Her friends can think that you are the biggest damn loser in the world, but if the girl you are after is even worth her salt, she isn't going to care what the hell her friends think.

I chill at a pretty big distance away from her. I just don't want to seem like I hesitated ALOT to approach her, and I did... but once I hesitate, I might as well not approach at all because girls can detect that, ESPECIALLY when that hesitation has been as long as maybe a whole damn month.

You don't know what she's thinking, what she wants, or what she has detected from you.

What you KNOW you want is much important than what you THINK that SHE wants....that makes sense right?

Look, she's no better than you, so stop placing HER feelings above your own and just go over there and talk to her because YOU want to. You don't have anything to lose by doing it, and even if you're rejected (which will probably NOT happen) you will feel MUCH better KNOWING who she is, instead of WONDERING who she is.

You're certainly not going to have a chance with her if you just sit there and wait for HER to approach YOU, because it AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN IF IT HASN'T HAPPENED ALREADY.

Now for the reason that I don't want the same people seeing me repeatedly at those places alone, I decided to start walking laps around the school like an idiot. Now everyday I do see some of my "acquaintances" around, but I always see them walking around to some place, or just walking around.

I don't know why you keep on trying the same things over and over and over again, yet they keep on failing you. Walking around the school is the exact same thing as sitting in the cafeteria alone.....you're BEING THERE in hopes that a girl will approach you. Look, if it didn't work in the cafe, it's not going to work anywhere else. So the next logical step is for YOU to do the approaching....duh.

The fun is not at all at the clubs or school activities. All the people hang out in clicks, they have guy clicks and girl clicks, and both. The fine chicks are more than willing to ****, but you gotta have status, and really good game.

Look, the reason why your social life isn't doing well is because you're not making an effort for it to do well. You're expecting people to just be friends with you when you're not trying to be friends with other people....that's a problem. You've got to BE a friend, before you can make them. Now sure, there's going to be people that you just CAN'T make friends with because you're not like them.....but SCREW THEM, they're not worth it. And don't think that you just have to be friends with the popular people, either, because you don't to be successful with girls.

And something else....you don't know WHAT girls want, because if you did, you wouldn't be having this problem. You also don't know what the "hot" girls want either, because you don't know any of them....so it would be impossible to know what they want. If you're simply going off of what the SAY they want......then you need to wake up and realize that girls SAY they want all kinds of things, but when they get them they don't want them anymore.

Plus, about half the people in the school or maybe more ONLY speak spanish, so that takes away a WHOLE lotta girls! and that's where all or most the fine b1tches at! The ones who only speak spanish are really... snotty, and loud.

If these spanish-speaking girls are snotty and loud....why would you even want to pursue them, anyway?

So now that you are completely up to date with my school happenings, (and I congratulate you, and appreciate it you if I have gotten this far in this whole damn "essay") now hopefully you can give me feedback, perhaps some tips and/or suggestions that you think could help me.

I have decided that I NEEED to do some cold approaches if I want to get farther in this school. So please, if you know of any, sources that deal with Cold Approaches, please link them to me. You are also welcome to post any tips.

Take if from a SPECIALIST on the cold approach.....

Once you have the right mindset, the ONLY way.....and I mean the ONLY way that you will EVER get better at the initial approach is through PRACTICE. You approach as many new females as you possibly can....I don't care if they're hot as hell or they're ugly as sin! You approach as many as you can.

Don't worry about getting their phone numbers or emails.....you just need to practice just going up there and opening your mouth.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Craig this is some great stuff. I feel motivated to go out and talk to girls, but I still don't know what to say after I say "hi". I'd think when I get to the point of saying hi, I'd say it then just look at her and saying "it was good sayin hi to you.... bye!" LOL. Of course I can compliment, or I can pick something of her clothes say it is nice or w/e, but I'd rather not compliment period. Only thing I can think of is saying Hi and then introducing myself, and then getting start digging into her life and stuff... but that sort of seems like getting into her personal space. I mean.... she may not even be ready to meet a new person. Most guys in my school shout all sorts of compliments in a "rude" way to girls, and the girls just walk away. I mean, WTF, how the hell can I approach girls if they are not willing to talk to meet someone new?

The only other thing I can think of is.... pretending I am on a mission to ask girls for opinions on a certain subject.... now that might be good, but, I am doing it alone, so.... but it is still a good idea, and I think it is the best way. I just need to make a list of some good questions that I can ask for opinions on.

The best way to fix this problem is to just go over there and talk to them. You are the MALE, so the FEMALE is going to expect for YOU to go over and talk to HER, NOT the other way around. Girls generally aren't interested in un-interesting guys....and your sitting there in the corner is telling these girls that you are NOT interesting, because if you were, then people would be around you.

So.... what do you say is "interesting"? How can I make myself more interesting. The only thing interesting about me is my looks and my unmatched social awkwardness.... it probably catches people off guard because I look like someone who'd be popular but I am not at all... far from it.

Do you suggest I do "interesting" things like.... doing out of the ordinary things? Things which make me stand out, absurd questions, intriguing questions, things like that?

I know I have alot of questions but cold approaches are really complicated for me especially when I can't even talk normally to people I see everyday.... but I know if I do cold approaches, it would help me alot more.

See... sometimes I am just damn introvert. I leave people feeling... uncared for, or unlistened to. Like lets say I am talking to someone.... or rather he is talking to ME, and he shares an opinion with me... I'd say.... OK. LOL and thats all. I just say OK to almost everythnig. Or if someone says a joke I'd laugh and thats it. Unless something is a question, I'd just say.... OK, unless a statement pertains to me. I mean really.... this is kinda bugging me. Many times people say things to me, and I have no response (which is the usual) and I just stay quiet, and it seems like what they said was unimportant to me. I'd rather not say OK.... I never have anything to add.

It is the most frustrating thing in the world..... the biggest mission in my life right now, to just shake off this social awkwardness which has been haunting me for my whole fuking life. I never had freinds outside of school, only inside, so.... I am not used to "freindships".... don't really know how to BE a freind.... than to be nice and compassionate to them.. but I also have to be interesting. Being nice and compassionate only does so much.. I need to be funny and entertaining.... and I can't be entertaining. I know people would rather not be the "entertainer" but I do want to be.... because I am the opposite, or more of.... the EXTREME opposite.

I don't feel like talking anymore I got more and more emotions as I wrote wrote my faults.... don't get me wrong though, I REALLY DO TRY. ****! I've spent over 150 dollars on books about communication and making freinds, self help.... everything. Really girls is not what I need right now... its just someone to hang out with, and I don't know how to get that. I feel like an introvert who will never learn to be successful with people all my life. I just can't naturally be an extrovert, and if I try, it'd be really awkward for me because I never have anything to say. PEople call me cold, or uncaring, but its not that... I listen to poeple perhaps more than anyone else listens to people, I just don't have anything to add. I am like, non participant in a conversation, but I try to be, but my mind can't think of anything to say during situations.

OK this post has went down to the gutters and now you know some of my darkest secrets now....I know... youll say "go to a psychologist you psycho"..... but I have one thing to say to yall who think that, **** YOU! Im sick of people feeling pity for me, and just need help.... and I am sick of pitying myself.... I don't usually talk like this to other people.... I keep everything inside.... introverted, I got madd dark secrets more than this, I just don't feel comfortable talking to people like my life is perfect because it isn't, and its far from it.... and you know what, I will see a psychologist, cuz I think I need to start going to it again.... ive been going to psychologists sicne I was 8 years old and stopped going when I found the world of self help.... and now I feel hopeless and not functional in places where other people roam.

im done for this thread unless I really need to post here I am very vulnerable right now after I just spewed my ****ing guts to yall... and am expecting unwanted pity and disrespect.... but **** it I don't care.... I just need advice

Peace, I gotta go fight some "demons"

oh, and I am going to the mall and do some cold approaches tomorow goddamit! Fuking ****, I don't even know how to get started but I am going into the battlefield blindly... perhaps its even better if I do this by myself with no help at all.