cold approaches?

[Master Cheif]

how many of you guys actually have sucsess with cold approaches, like where you didnt know her before at all and you just saw her, etc.


and dosn't this show women that your desperate or what does it show them

 

[ARrocket]

Read some of the approach journals on here and learn!

 

[the305]

Start with "warm" approaches, where you go in, befriending, nothing more, nothing less.

Get to a point where you never get rejected, you either make a friend or you make more then a friend.

Don't try to seduce first, big mistake with guys, because girls can spot it a mile away unless you're really good.

 

[Vice]

It shows them that you know what you want and you're not afraid to get it.

You're looking at it the wrong way. Cold approaches are the OPPOSITE of being desperate.

Cold approaches are in my opinion, the best kind, because they are the scariest, and not too many guys can do them properly, so someone who knows how to do it effectively is at an advantage.

You have the power to CHOOSE who you want. You see a fine girl? Awesome. Go get her and find out if she's available. It's simple. Not easy, but simple.

One time I was walking down the street and I saw this girl that worked at a jewelry store that closed. She was vacuuming the floor, and I crossed the street, knocked on the window, and got her FaceBook. It didn't work out, but the approach did.

Another time this STUNNING girl from Los Angeles (I'm in VA) walked past me at the mall, and I turned around and followed her into a store and get her number. That didn't work out either, but the approach did.

The big thing to realize is that women don't appreciate men who hide their intentions.

 

[Vice]

Damn why do I always kill threads?

 

[someone800]

Perhaps because that is a great answer, Vice.

When you think about it, women don't get cold approaches much-if at all. Most guys (even the "bada$$ ones out there) don't have the cajones to approach a chick flat and cold. I don't...well I like to think I do, but once I am in the situation where I can make a cold approach, I come up with reasons not to.

And you know what? That is where the all important 3-second rule comes in. It is probably about 1.5 seconds for people around 16-20s I image though. If you allow yourself to think before you approach, you might as well already give up. I think to much and that is something I am working on, personally.

And man, lemme tell you, when you cold approach a girl, there will be SO much adrenaline pumping through your body. You WILL be scared-at least the first few times. She WILL see that you are scared perhaps, but another fundamental rule comes into play here, which is having the mindset that it is you WILL feel SO much better getting rejected than to not approach at all.

Just get out there man.

 

[Captain]

Start with "warm" approaches, where you go in, befriending, nothing more, nothing less.

Friends first does NOT work, it's a perfect way to get friendzoned. Practicing it, even just to wwarm up, will get you used to doing the wrong thing.

 

[Maxtro]

I much prefer the warm approach. In a cold approach there are only two good ways it can end. You get her phone number, and or you end up going on an instant date with her. If you get her number then you have to convince her to go on a date with you when you are just a stranger to her.

Personally I don't have the best social skills so neither of those scenarios are good for me.

For a warm approach you can at least get to know the girl a little better and vice versa. The key to making a warm approach work, is not to wait too long. I haven't yet figured out how long a guy actually has before the girl sticks him in friendzone hell.

 

[Vice]

I much prefer the warm approach. In a cold approach there are only two good ways it can end. You get her phone number, and or you end up going on an instant date with her. If you get her number then you have to convince her to go on a date with you when you are just a stranger to her.

Personally I don't have the best social skills so neither of those scenarios are good for me.

For a warm approach you can at least get to know the girl a little better and vice versa. The key to making a warm approach work, is not to wait too long. I haven't yet figured out how long a guy actually has before the girl sticks him in friendzone hell.

You save a hell of alot more time doing cold approaches. You won't get strung along as much with cold approaches, it either works or it doesn't. With "warm" approaches, the girl might feel a sense of obligation to hang out with you, she may be concerned with what her friends may think, etc.

Point it, the most economic thing to do is cold approaches.

 

[Real Talk]

Your cold approaches will be fine if you don't have any expectations.

Think about it, your choice to approach is only based on the girl looking good, right? The basic concept of cold approaches means you ignore other screening elements when looking for a quality girl before you show that you're interested.

If you see an attractive female, thats all that needs to be qualified for you to hit on her. One mistake that seems to be made a lot here is thinking a girl is wonderful and awesome and "the one" just because she recoupricates your initial approach. Or you want to establish an amazing connection and get her to fall in love with you right away. Take things slower on the emotional front.

If they turn out to be legit quality women, fine. Even if they were kind of a bi tch, wouldn't you still try to close? Like i said, don't gas up every girl you see in the bookstore or bar or whatever before you spend mutiple dates with her.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

The305, even the best cold approach guys out there, get rejection now and then.


MasterChief, as Vice and SomeOne800 had answered fantastically,

How is it desperate going up to a woman you don't know and communicating your interest? It would be the exact opposite, the woman would deep down respect you for having the "Guts" to put yourself out there and risk rejection. You are also going after that hot woman that you really want physically to where a desperate guy would only go up to a fatty he would have to be drunk to enjoy ****ing lol.

I've heard some guys criticize guys who cold approach who seem to have girls from social circles, but guess what? What are they doing at the bar? Watching the girls dance but don't do jack sh1t. Not saying thats all guys, and there are guys who have circles and can get girls cold but thats still a rarity.

Its not for everyone and it followers the Higher Difficulty, higher Reward principle

 

[Vice]

The305, even the best cold approach guys out there, get rejection now and then.


MasterChief, as Vice and SomeOne800 had answered fantastically,

How is it desperate going up to a woman you don't know and communicating your interest? It would be the exact opposite, the woman would deep down respect you for having the "Guts" to put yourself out there and risk rejection. You are also going after that hot woman that you really want physically to where a desperate guy would only go up to a fatty he would have to be drunk to enjoy ****ing lol.

I've heard some guys criticize guys who cold approach who seem to have girls from social circles, but guess what? What are they doing at the bar? Watching the girls dance but don't do jack sh1t. Not saying thats all guys, and there are guys who have circles and can get girls cold but thats still a rarity.

Its not for everyone and it followers the Higher Difficulty, higher Reward principle

I've actually asked women right from the start if they respect a guy who hides his intentions. They don't. Being direct and approaching cold is awesome, because it says all the right things. And the girls who aren't worth going after will filter themselves out immediately; if they're not single, you'll know and move on, and if they start getting weirded out and self-conscious, then they're probably not socially healthy enough for you. Why would you want a girl that gets easily freaked out by that kind of thing?

As for the "Higher Difficulty, higher Reward principle", I do what I do not because it's more difficult, but because it's actually EASIER this way!

 

[Hakuna]

Being rejected and getting over your fear of rejection is critical to becoming a DJ. You should embrace your failures rather than resent them

 

[Master Cheif]

The305, even the best cold approach guys out there, get rejection now and then.


MasterChief, as Vice and SomeOne800 had answered fantastically,

How is it desperate going up to a woman you don't know and communicating your interest? It would be the exact opposite, the woman would deep down respect you for having the "Guts" to put yourself out there and risk rejection. You are also going after that hot woman that you really want physically to where a desperate guy would only go up to a fatty he would have to be drunk to enjoy ****ing lol.

I've heard some guys criticize guys who cold approach who seem to have girls from social circles, but guess what? What are they doing at the bar? Watching the girls dance but don't do jack sh1t. Not saying thats all guys, and there are guys who have circles and can get girls cold but thats still a rarity.

Its not for everyone and it followers the Higher Difficulty, higher Reward principle

right on

ive never half assed anything in my life before, except women, so i guess swing for the fences or strikeout

 

[todays_news]

I love cold-calling, works best in bars for me. That doesnt mean buying the girl a drink though, oh no no NO sir.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Thanks MasterChief!
Exactly Hakuna. A guy's true progression comes when he knows what its like to sometimes have trouble. There are guys who are like "I have never had trouble with women at all!" But honestly, when you see the reality of things, they've limited themselves to where they are "Glass", they're skin is not thick enough.

Todays_news...absolutely! The truth is the girl is more willing to screw you when you don't buy her a drink. Its so funny how frustrated girls get when you dont get them when theyre trying to get one from you. They're like, "That's not true!" but notice who's leaving with thehey're like "I can get any guy in the bar to get me a drink" in response to where you say no, and when you dare them to...them, the guy who buys them drinks or the guy who doesn't care to? Even funnier when you tell them to do that...they can't do it...they use the "I'm too tired" excuse lol. Even funnier when they're like "Every girl in here requires a drink" and then talk to one who is more interesting in drinking the *** off your **** than a few drinks she brought for her self.

 

[todays_news]

ahaha, its hilarious.. the lengths they will go for free drinks to feed their confidence trees.

Good friends of mine work in a popular and lively bar in a student town. Girls throw themselves at them in the hope of free drinks, and these lads have seriously good game so know how to turn that into sex. No free drinks for the girls though, and yet they come back again and again. They know the score.. and they know these girls want the status of free drinks and being in with the barman.

On something unrelated (but works really well in a bar) I might make a thread about it in fact.. for those people that have read 'The Game'... you will have heard of this and I ALWAYS use it and it doesnt fail me often:

Tell the girl to think of a number between 1 and 10, and then quickly say 'Done?' or 'OK? to rush them into choosing.

70% of the time, the number is 7, particularly when a person is rushed. And even if you guess wrong just laugh it off, with something like 'ahh not as predictable as I thought' and buy a drink for yourself.

She'll be amazed if you get it right, and she'll laugh if its wrong. WIN/WIN.

 

[the305]

Friends first does NOT work, it's a perfect way to get friendzoned. Practicing it, even just to wwarm up, will get you used to doing the wrong thing.

Did you just tell me that, meeting a girl and vibing as a normal person will NOT lead to her liking you as a person? Just curious do you live in a major country?

So you basically skip the whole normalcy phase and go right into "seducing", and you think women, people who are approached/hit on/etc 1000x more then men, won't pick up on that?

I'm not sure what book or pdf you read that gave you this nugget of information, but i would stay away from who ever wrote it.

 

[Ease]

I dont refer to it as 'cold approach' because i think it sounds pretty gay.

But i do strike up conversations with girls when the oppurtunity arises. You have to do it or else you will never meet girls. Its sometimes painful and challanging but without it you go nowhere, as i am finding out the hard way whilst being single.

I'm not into the whole getting rejected over and over thing. Sounds like a great learning experience but too unpleasant. My ego is so huge that i prefer to go into an interaction where the girl has already a high opinion of me and has heard of my mischevious ways. Getting rejected by random girls that are unworthy of my attention is not nice!


@305, talking to a girl at a bar is all fine and good. But the moment you start talking about 'normal person' and 'being friendly' you're going down the wrong road. I have no interest in being friendly with the girl, i would however like to charm her and find myself fondling her in a corner. Seducing is still the main issue, she knows it and you do too, embracing it is good. Conversation flows much better when you embrace it.

 

[the305]

Ease: you state you have a huge ego, you dont have interests in being friendly to a girls, and you void getting rejected, which is where the learning comes in - I'm going to go out on the limb here and say, you arent that successful, but now you know WHY you aren't fix those sticking points man!

Anyways..

Ok so we have two methods here:

1. approach and seduce: where you limit your results to either SUCCESS OR FAILURE while FORCING the odds against you, due to the nature of society, logistics, and doing what EVERY OTHER guy is doing, which is trying to "seduce" a girl

OR

2. approach and vibe with/befriend. you will become the "cool" guy, do you all understand what that actually means when a girls says, "yeah the305, hes really cool" it means you are accepted, NOTHING to do with attraction at this point. After you are accepted, THEN comes the attraction, which GREATLY increase your odds of her being receptive to your "seducing". This ALSO lets you realize if you even LIKE the girl, if you dont, you put her in YOUR friendzone, which is a VERY POWER TECHNIQUE.

So you can be the guy going out, just you and your buddy, trying to "approach and seduce" women, with minimal results OR you can go out to the bar WITH 5-6 girls. Do you really think the 10's are more receptive to random guys approaching them, then guys that are friends WITH their close girl friends?

It is intuitive to think: wow hot girl i want to bang, i gotta seduce her. (every guy does this)
its is Counterintuitive to think: wow hot girl i want to bang, let me just talk to her normally and vibe, who cares about the whole seducing, lets just have fun and be social.(VERY few guys do this)