Diaforetikos
Senior Don Juan
I've been thinking about this site for a while, concerning the information it gives. I took a step back and looked at all it has to offer, and then I looked at what I felt it was missing. This brings me to what will hopefully be a series of well thought out ideas that we can discuss as a community and flesh out into something usable for others.
This is one of four topics that I want to discuss and by the end of all four, you should be able to combine these into your everyday life, which will ultimately make you a better catch for the ladies and for yourself.
############DISCLAIMER############
This is my opinion. None of it is fact. THIS IS A LONG READ, so I ask that you read all of it before replying. If you do not like what I have to say, post a reply stating why you don't feel any part(s) of this is valid.
Do not troll, or bash because you don't like it. Be a man, discuss it in an appropriate fashion, and we can go from there. The point of this post is to help the new guys grow as men. I will edit this post as I feel it needs to be updated. Thanks.
############DISCLAIMER############
----------------------------------
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1.Decisions
2.Black and White
3.Goals
4.Mindset
----------------------------------
==================================
|------------------------DECISIONS-----------------------|
==================================
Everyday we are faced with them. We don't think about them, but they come up and we execute them everyday. Decisions are our life. We start off young with subconcious decisions and as we get older, we slowly gain more control and freedom to take action. But our society blinds us and we forget that we have the control and freedom to make choices.
For the next few minutes I want to bring into your realization that you make decisions. It sounds so basic, but as men, we get so bogged down with life, that we forget we have control over what decisions we make in life. By the end of this article, hopefully you will become aware of all the decisions you have, be it that you want to make them, don't want to make, or know you have to but struggle with with making them.
This topic will be broken down into 3 parts:
1.Becoming Aware
2.Sucking it Up
3.Making the Decision(s)
I will try to post each topic as soon as possible, so don't fret if they all are not available as quick as you would like.
Let's get started.
1) Becoming Aware.
---------------------
Have you ever stopped to think about what your gonna do? It sounds so obvious, but you would be surprised about how often this question gets overlooked. We have so many choices to make and our priorities take over, deciding for us when we should ask this question. As of late, we have decided to let others choose for us because we felt it wasn't important enough. But I'd like to challenge another thought...
"Shouldn't all of our decisions be important?"
Before I go any further, don't think I'm being completely literal with this thought. I'm talking about daily life decisions and the actions we take. Thinking about when you brush your teeth obviously isn't as important as deciding if you want to hang with your friends. Common sense is implied.
Now, back to the question at hand. Should all of our decisions be important? Yes! Why?
We have become a world of careless people. We stopped deciding who, what, when, where, and why, and started let others decide for us. When did we give our power away? When did we say others can decide this for me, while I decide what clothes I wear? It's gotten so bad, people have literally forgotten that can actually make a decision.
Here's an example:
One of my female friends (we'll call her 'F') started dating my male friend (and we can call him 'M'). 'M' hadn't realized that they started dating. They just talked a lot and slowly meshed into a couple. It happened so naturally that I was left unaware of their status. Once I decided to become fully aware, I called up 'F' and told her we should talk.
I got her in the car and we discussed the new couple and their relationship. I held no bars back and spared no feelings. As a friend, I wasn't their to make her feel good. I was there to help. It was up to her if she wanted my help or not. I was as straightforward as possible and opened her eyes to what she didn't see. She said, "yeah, we're together." But I had to let her know that, "yeah, you guys ARE together."
Her eyes opened wide and she was now aware of the decision she had made and what decision lied ahead. She could either stay or break up with him. Simple, right? But as simple as it was, she was blind to what had happened and she ignored what she HAD to do.
(This was a true example. I don't feel it is appropriate for you to have all the information in order to grasp why I did what I did. My point is about BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR DECISION AVAILABLE.)
I say this so that you can gain some power back. We have decisions available at all times. Its taking the time to STOP, LOOK at the current situation, and MAKE a decision. Even if you don't want to make it. As men, the last part is especially true. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want. It's life. We can deal with it.
Here's an example:
At a young age in my life, my mom and dad got divorced. Now since I was young, I didn't really care. I was too young to know my dad. I remember early on in my life when they
were together, but I don't remember much about him. So as I grew older, I didn't give it much thought.
It wasn't until later on, in my 'teens' and 'twenties', did I realise how much of a disadvantage I was at without having a father in my life. At that moment, I had to decide
if I wanted to forgive him or continue to hold a grudge against for him messing up my life and more importantly, my family. I did not want to hold anything against him. I
would regret it. So I forgave him. That was it. I call him now and then and we go out and enjoy life. He tries to teach me new things that he didn't get to when I was younger,
and I appreciate it. I would never get another father. Why mess up anything with the one I already have.
It was hard to forgive him because in my mind, I had to let it go. I had to SUCK IT UP.
My friend (we'll call him 'R'), came over one day and started talking to me about his job. He works at a boys home. The boys are all ususally illegal immigrants who get in
trouble with the law via gangs and violence. He helps them get a second chance at life. Anyways, 'R' was telling me that as of late, he had been holding the boys accountable
for their actions. They didn't like that idea. He would constantly get cussed out and threatened during all of his shifts.
One day he decided to talk to them about all the hostility. He talks to one of the boys in particular. 'R' explained to the boy why he held them accountable. First off, it's
'R's job, but secondly, they have to learn that they can't do something and not reap the consequences of their actions.
'R' then looked at me and said, "It's not what happens to you that matters, but HOW YOU REACT to what has happened to you."
That is the basis of this post. Even if we don't like what happens to us, it is still our choice on how react to it. We can SUCK IT UP, and react to it in an adult manner, or
we can complain about how things aren't going our way, whine about why we're not gonna do something, etc. In the end, its our choice. Either way, the choice has to be made. So
make sure its the RIGHT choice.
This is one of four topics that I want to discuss and by the end of all four, you should be able to combine these into your everyday life, which will ultimately make you a better catch for the ladies and for yourself.
############DISCLAIMER############
This is my opinion. None of it is fact. THIS IS A LONG READ, so I ask that you read all of it before replying. If you do not like what I have to say, post a reply stating why you don't feel any part(s) of this is valid.
Do not troll, or bash because you don't like it. Be a man, discuss it in an appropriate fashion, and we can go from there. The point of this post is to help the new guys grow as men. I will edit this post as I feel it needs to be updated. Thanks.
############DISCLAIMER############
----------------------------------
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1.Decisions
2.Black and White
3.Goals
4.Mindset
----------------------------------
==================================
|------------------------DECISIONS-----------------------|
==================================
Everyday we are faced with them. We don't think about them, but they come up and we execute them everyday. Decisions are our life. We start off young with subconcious decisions and as we get older, we slowly gain more control and freedom to take action. But our society blinds us and we forget that we have the control and freedom to make choices.
For the next few minutes I want to bring into your realization that you make decisions. It sounds so basic, but as men, we get so bogged down with life, that we forget we have control over what decisions we make in life. By the end of this article, hopefully you will become aware of all the decisions you have, be it that you want to make them, don't want to make, or know you have to but struggle with with making them.
This topic will be broken down into 3 parts:
1.Becoming Aware
2.Sucking it Up
3.Making the Decision(s)
I will try to post each topic as soon as possible, so don't fret if they all are not available as quick as you would like.
Let's get started.
1) Becoming Aware.
---------------------
Have you ever stopped to think about what your gonna do? It sounds so obvious, but you would be surprised about how often this question gets overlooked. We have so many choices to make and our priorities take over, deciding for us when we should ask this question. As of late, we have decided to let others choose for us because we felt it wasn't important enough. But I'd like to challenge another thought...
"Shouldn't all of our decisions be important?"
Before I go any further, don't think I'm being completely literal with this thought. I'm talking about daily life decisions and the actions we take. Thinking about when you brush your teeth obviously isn't as important as deciding if you want to hang with your friends. Common sense is implied.
Now, back to the question at hand. Should all of our decisions be important? Yes! Why?
We have become a world of careless people. We stopped deciding who, what, when, where, and why, and started let others decide for us. When did we give our power away? When did we say others can decide this for me, while I decide what clothes I wear? It's gotten so bad, people have literally forgotten that can actually make a decision.
Here's an example:
One of my female friends (we'll call her 'F') started dating my male friend (and we can call him 'M'). 'M' hadn't realized that they started dating. They just talked a lot and slowly meshed into a couple. It happened so naturally that I was left unaware of their status. Once I decided to become fully aware, I called up 'F' and told her we should talk.
I got her in the car and we discussed the new couple and their relationship. I held no bars back and spared no feelings. As a friend, I wasn't their to make her feel good. I was there to help. It was up to her if she wanted my help or not. I was as straightforward as possible and opened her eyes to what she didn't see. She said, "yeah, we're together." But I had to let her know that, "yeah, you guys ARE together."
Her eyes opened wide and she was now aware of the decision she had made and what decision lied ahead. She could either stay or break up with him. Simple, right? But as simple as it was, she was blind to what had happened and she ignored what she HAD to do.
(This was a true example. I don't feel it is appropriate for you to have all the information in order to grasp why I did what I did. My point is about BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR DECISION AVAILABLE.)
I say this so that you can gain some power back. We have decisions available at all times. Its taking the time to STOP, LOOK at the current situation, and MAKE a decision. Even if you don't want to make it. As men, the last part is especially true. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want. It's life. We can deal with it.
Here's an example:
At a young age in my life, my mom and dad got divorced. Now since I was young, I didn't really care. I was too young to know my dad. I remember early on in my life when they
were together, but I don't remember much about him. So as I grew older, I didn't give it much thought.
It wasn't until later on, in my 'teens' and 'twenties', did I realise how much of a disadvantage I was at without having a father in my life. At that moment, I had to decide
if I wanted to forgive him or continue to hold a grudge against for him messing up my life and more importantly, my family. I did not want to hold anything against him. I
would regret it. So I forgave him. That was it. I call him now and then and we go out and enjoy life. He tries to teach me new things that he didn't get to when I was younger,
and I appreciate it. I would never get another father. Why mess up anything with the one I already have.
It was hard to forgive him because in my mind, I had to let it go. I had to SUCK IT UP.
My friend (we'll call him 'R'), came over one day and started talking to me about his job. He works at a boys home. The boys are all ususally illegal immigrants who get in
trouble with the law via gangs and violence. He helps them get a second chance at life. Anyways, 'R' was telling me that as of late, he had been holding the boys accountable
for their actions. They didn't like that idea. He would constantly get cussed out and threatened during all of his shifts.
One day he decided to talk to them about all the hostility. He talks to one of the boys in particular. 'R' explained to the boy why he held them accountable. First off, it's
'R's job, but secondly, they have to learn that they can't do something and not reap the consequences of their actions.
'R' then looked at me and said, "It's not what happens to you that matters, but HOW YOU REACT to what has happened to you."
That is the basis of this post. Even if we don't like what happens to us, it is still our choice on how react to it. We can SUCK IT UP, and react to it in an adult manner, or
we can complain about how things aren't going our way, whine about why we're not gonna do something, etc. In the end, its our choice. Either way, the choice has to be made. So
make sure its the RIGHT choice.
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