CMR226's No Contact/ Approach Journal/ Self-Improvement Thread

cmr226

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Gents: the past week my life has taken a turn for the worst. I found out a girl that I dated for a year (HB9), who I eventually broke up with about three weeks ago, starting dating other people. I know what you're thinking..."you broke up with her, why do you care?". Great question! I wish I knew the answer myself! However, I can't get this girl out of my head and she is not letting me back into her life.

The main purpose for starting this thread is so that I can review and look back at my progress over time. I'm starting with No Contact on my ex (currently on day 3), and will also start to journal my approaches and self improvement as I rebuild myself. I started posting in the No Contact Challenge thread but figured I'd like to have everything in one place.

A little about me: I have a lot going for me...Amazing job for my age (31) where I make over $300K. I recently moved a couple thousand miles from my hometown to southern California for work (part of the reason I ended the relationship as she stayed back home, but wanted badly to move with me), I drive a BMW and a Range Rover, I have Master's degree. Very athletic body and in shape. I'd say I'm at least average to above average in looks as I've dated a lot of beautiful women.

The above paragraph is by no means meant for me to brag on myself, it is for me to point out that I have so much going for me, yet this girl has turned me into a complete p***y. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

I think the primary issue that separates me from getting any girl I want is my approach anxiety. I have been somewhat shy all my life when it comes to approaches. Once I already know a girl I have no problem laying game, but it seems like I need to be drinking to get the courage to approach. The challenging part is, I need to drink enough to get relaxed and get the courage, but if I drink too much then I'm not effective. My and my friends like to call it the two drink window haha. My approach anxiety didn't really impact me much in my hometown because I already knew so many people that I could find ways to start conversations, but now that I moved somewhere where I don't really know anyone, the approach is crucial.

In order to improve my approach anxiety, I'm going to be performing the challenges from this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=202218

I'm too late to join that competition, but I'm going to start with week 1 this week, which is to approach and compliment 12 strangers. The compliments can't be anything on body parts or beauty and at least 8 of the 12 have to be at least HB5s.

After I post this I'm going to copy my first few posts from the No Contact Challenge thread to get everything in one place so you can see what I've been dealing with in regards to my ex.

I welcome all comments, questions, advice, criticisms, etc.

Wish my luck bros, my journey starts now!
 

cmr226

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No Contact Day 1 (copied from No Contact Challenge Thread):

What's up everyone...starting NC day 1 today. My long story short:

I had been dating this girl for almost a year now that is my perfect girl from a looks standpoint, but she had various characteristics that I didn't want in someone to marry. This girl was madly in love with me and would do anything for me. Midway through the relationship I moved a couple thousand miles away for work and we tried the long distance thing. She begged and begged to move out here with me but I kept telling her that we need to wait a bit before we take that step. I've known for the past few months this wasn't going to work long term because I knew I didn't want to marry her, but kept her around for sex when I visited back home and when she visited where I live now. I've been dating multiple other girls the entire time I've been out here, although no one that has really interested me much, and she was not aware of it. I was not good to her as I would go out with other girls all the time, go days without calling her, wouldn't return her calls, etc. I was living life while she was at home depressed over the way I was treating her.

Fast forward to about a month ago, we got into an argument and I told her to move on and never talk to me again. We didn't talk for a couple weeks and then last week I texted her because I'm visiting back home and wanted to see her. From there I basically found out that she is dating other people and she wants nothing to do with me. Now I'm completely depressed over it thinking I completely messed up. Today I've basically been begging her to move out here with me (she always wanted to before but I wouldn't let her) but she isn't budging and wants me to leave her alone.

I don't get it...how could I be so sick of someone and I KNEW I didn't want to be with them just a month ago, now I'm depressed because I don't have her??

I don't really have much of a problem getting girls either, and all the girls I've been hanging out with out here I've completely stopped talking to because of this.

No contact day 1 starts now...let's hope I can do this.
 

cmr226

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No Contact Day 2 (copied from No Contact Challenge thread)

Today starts day 2 of no contact for me. Yesterday was officially day 1 but we talked earlier in the day via text. Yesterday I spilled my guts to her telling her I love her and want to marry her, etc. and she basically told me that I screwed up and she had moved on and was pretty rude about it.

She texted me early this morning saying that she was sorry for being mean because she had been drinking, and then said we should talk another time about everything.

Should I respond and talk? or should I respond and say no need to talk? Or just keep no contact?
 

cmr226

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No Contact Day 3 (copied from earlier today from the No Contact Challenge thread)

Day 3 of NC begins today. I have not responded to her text from a couple days ago and she hasn't sent any other messages. I'm slowly getting better but I'm still totally amazed at the 180 she's done. Three weeks ago from today everything was 100% fine, and she's met a couple guys since then and now says she no longer has feelings for me. All from a girl who was madly in love with me for almost a year.

The big test will be tomorrow. I fly back to my hometown where she lives, and she knows I'll be there. I give it a 25% chance she contacts me first, and a 0% chance I contact her first. If she doesn't contact me that will be very telling.
 

cmr226

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No Contact Day 3 - Part 2 (also copied from earlier today from the No Contact Challenge thread)

Having a hard time today guys. Still on NC day 3....flying back to my hometown where she lives tomorrow and all I can think about is her. Every time I've flown back since I've moved 7 or 8 months ago, we spent all our time together.

She knows I'll be home and I keep wondering if I should contact her to see if we can get together or not. The last thing either of us said to each other before my NC was her texting me she was sorry for being mean earlier that day because she had been drinking, and that we should talk about it later. I never responded and she hasn't followed up.

This girl was as devoted to me as any girl ever had been up until about 3 weeks ago when I told her to move on and stop talking to me (crazy how the tables turned). Now I know she's been hanging out with (at least) 2 other guys since then. On the last day before my NC she said she likes other people and has no feelings for me anymore (after being broke up for only 3 weeks?!). She was also texting me various things to obviously try and make me jealous that day. I'm guessing this is a sign that she still DOES have feelings deep down, correct?

My options:
a) text/call her asking to see her tomorrow
b) no contact

I'm guessing the answer from you guys is B haha.

My gut says there is a 25% chance something good would come from me texting and trying to see her tomorrow, 75% chance it doesn't go well.

I also say there is about a 15% chance of her contacting me first, but we will see. I think I treated her so badly that I really hurt her, so now these two new guys come along that she has fun with, and now I'm out of sight out of mind.
 
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