Clubs, Confused

[Deathfyre]

Well, i went to a club tonight, first time in a while. Crappy club. But my post isn't about the club, it's about the people in it. I walked around the dance floor having a good time, dancing, trying to make eye contact with girls. Hardly any of them would even return eye contact. I danced with 2 girls all night. After the club closed, this carload of chicks pulls up, asks, you need a ride? I say sure, where you headed, they say, wherever you want. I say ok, near the colisseum, they say, sorry no room. Next time I think I answer "your place". Any suggestions on either response to such a thing, or club tactics to get dances and/or eye contact. Analysis on the evening are also welcome. Ask if you need more info.

 

[Deathfyre]

Oh yeah, I was alone by the way

 

[Knicknack]

say you don't ride with strangers... say what's in it for me... say your place... don't say what every other guy would say, which is to actually give them a destination you need to go. lol.

 

[Hot Ice]

OMG!

I think you just missed carload-of-chicks-some!
You Bastard!!

 

[Synthesis]

Clubs are one of the harshest environments for a DJ. Read the three links in the DJ bible on clubbing.

One comment: It's bad to be seen alone. Women read this in a very negative way. Women are watching you the entire night -- to see who you came with and who you interact with.

"Social proof" is the idea that people look to others to see how to behave. Club girls will copy what they see. If they see that you're part of a group (and hopefully dominant within that group) they'll want a piece of that.

Also being a good dancer is important.

And talking is considered a bad thing in a club lol. It's all about non-verbal signals. Make sure your body language says "I'm in a good mood and I'm happy to be here."

If you look as if you're unhappy and lonely, girls pick up on that instantly and will reject you for it. Its in their genes.

Another thing the clubbing threads mention is that you've got to be a dominant alpha-male in a club.

The best I can come up with is.. using dominant body language around women (ie you do the approaches)..? Showing them you're in control? I dunno.

Can anyone else comment on alpha male (dominant) behaviour in clubs?

 

[xblitz44x]

I actually do very well in the clubs, personally. The car load of chicks were never intending on picking you up. Your answer wouldn't have mattered.

I usually get a group of friends together to go clubbing. I get my drink on. If you're under age, do it outside the club if you want. I go to the dancefloor and start dancing. There will be other girls dancing. Personally, I wait for some eye contact then start dancing with them. I'll grind my ass into them blatently for a laugh, first. Then I'll be more serious with it. But you don't HAVE to wait for it. My friend Dave is the best club guy I've seen. All he does is wander around the dancefloor, touch girls on the arm. When they turn around he dances with them. If they turn their back to him or blow him off he just moves on. It's the best method in the club.

You're being too serious about it. People go to clubs TO socialize and have a good time. Do that, and the interactions will happen naturally.

 

[bugsquish]

The club is my favourite pick up place since I came to Sosuave and it's a godsend. Blitz and Synthesis made a lot of good points there, but not all Synth.

Since when was talking a bad thing? I don't think its as harsh as all that! But it is very important not to be seen (A) Alone or (B) Miserable! But even if you arrive alone you don't need to appear to be alone.

It's fairly easy to recruit wingmen in a club, just talk to guys or groups of guys who appear to be single. Everyone talks to everyone anyway. Talking to chicks without ANY intention of scoring with them is good too. You will be seen talking to them, you will be free of nervousness due to lack of agenda, and you will build confidence for someone you do wanna pull.

My friend Dave is the best club guy I've seen. All he does is wander around the dancefloor, touch girls on the arm. When they turn around he dances with them. If they turn their back to him or blow him off he just moves on. It's the best method in the club.

This is my FAVOURITE tactic. If you do it off the dancefloor the dance can be replaced with a smile. It's a perfect little measure of initial IL and fairly easy once you get into it.

 

[Hot Ice]

I wrote this on another clubbing thread:

--------------------------------------------------
I go clubbing alone.
Of course I always see some friends there and chat with them but with women I'm alone.

It's actually quite easy when you don't have any tail.

One bad thing about being alone is that basically those chicks who are there just the two of them are hard ones. You have to be friendly to them both (or wait for a good moment, which isn't a good strategy).

On a dance floor I usually just steal a chick from a group.
Her friends will resist but they stop it when they see their friend is having fun with you and they there's nothing they can do to CB. Ignoring is one way there I've used succesfully. You can always try to wink of blow a kiss at them when they try to ****block with a ****y smile on your face. Sometimes they see that the girl you are dancing with is dancing with a MAN.
Usually they give up c0ckblocking and ask the girl I have hit that "are you coming wiht us when we leave or no?". By saying this they actually give her a possibility to leave with me without being seen like a slut. So grabbing her and ignoring CB can be really good.
Also the borrowing is good.
You say to her friends "Hey, I'm going to borrow this girl for a dance or to/over there for a while".
Then just take her.
If they don't resist, (****blocking isn't usual here!) they allow her to go and have fun with you. Also when her friends say yes first she has one BIG reason more to go with you.
Third one is to chat/dance with ugly one instead of honey bunny, make her laugh and have REALLY good time, the HB get's jealous and frustrated. And even may try to get you. Then you just use some basic DJ things like neg-hits, c&f, and be like she is chacing you and wind up with the HB in the end. Jealousy is a powerful tool.

I like to use those kind of basic things. Nothing too fancy.


It's good to have some social proof, but it's not something you REALLY need.
You can always fake social proof and go to see your friends that aren't even there. Act like you are surrounded with friends. Wave at those people you know somewhere but not really well, talk to bardenders, etc like you knew them...

 

[Deathfyre]

Just curious xblitz44x, why would you say the carload of chicks stopped to offer me a ride then?

Thanks for the tips guys, I would've gone with friends, but most of my friends are out of town or flat broke, . I never thought of trying to recruit wingmen in the club, I'll have to try the next time I'm alone at a club.

 

[xblitz44x]

Deathfyre,

There was probably a girl or two in the car who wanted to pick you up to talk to you. They probably thought you were cute, and they acted all gitty. But when you pulled over, surely there was a girl who just wanted to go home and wasn't serious about picking up a random stranger. That's what I think happened.

 

[Deathfyre]

Probably right, it'd still be nice if I could've turned that around or something, but at that point I was worn out, and ready to just go to bed myself. Any suggestions on how to turn something like that around would be good though.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

bro - they dissed u - they were pulling your chain to see if u would go along and take the bait - u did - u were an easy eager target - they were men-haters and that was their silly way at getting back at men - albeit a bit weak nonetheless effective to lift their female egos.

u should have told them u fear that they might gang rape u - and that u are just too tired for that

never talk to a carload full of women b/c there is no game in it for u - do u think u r getting a number? y?

when they said they dont have any room u should have said that u r not looking for a room but only for a seat!

say no to hos!!!

 

[duke007]

I went last night again after posting that field report from friday.

It was Tuesday and the place was filled with HBs!

And as I expected a bit of ball grabbing and practice on Friday helped me to have even more fun this night.

I had a bit of social proof, but I would just dance up to a group of girls and dance with them (probably made the mistake in not trying to isolate) Some weren't interested, but many danced but never for long enough to try to get them to the bar.

I must have danced with about 8 seperate HBs, which is pretty good I think considering that was only my second proper attempt on the dancefloor.

There was one highlight. There were two hot lesbians dancing really close and kissing and everything and I just happened to be in their proximity.

Then for some reason this guy starts grinding with one of them, so the other one dances over to me, kinos me and says in my ear, "That's my girlfriend"

So i say in her ear, "Bisexual?" and she says "Of course!" So we dance pretty close and sensually, my hands are on her hips and her butt. (after barely 20 seconds hehehhe).

The she kisses me on the cheek so I just turn her head and go for the lips. We had a awesome tongue kiss for about 10 seconds then she went back to her girlfriend.

I'm kicking my self that I didn't go in a second time to grind with both at the same time. I should have asked for a three way kiss!

Ahhhh, hot bisexuals yeah! clubbing kicks arse! next time will be even more successful.

 

[ryoshi]

This turned out to be a great thread.
I often go to clubs alone and I'm comfortable there alone. Just don't act like somebody who's alone if that makes any sense.


My question is on dancing. Club dancing isn't really much that you can learn in dance schools because it's not exactly that complex. However, how would one learn how to dance and dance in a way that can make the girls on the floor think you're good in the sack without looking like you're just humping at air? How did you guys learn to club dance? Did you try dancing in front of the mirror at home?

Any thoughts or techniques you use that could help a brutha?

 

[MrBond007]

I dont really go to clubs myself.I prefer to go to pubs and play pool with some people.In both places, I will often just sit with my back on the wall, having a drink alone.Strange enough, I feel pretty good when Im alone and theres noone to bother me.

Anyway,Im still pretty outgoing though.If I am invited to a party or to a club with a bunch of friends, I will drink and dance with them and have a good time.

I dunno if some of you have the same problem I have: I just cant approach because, I just dont feel like its worth it(not because I feel like Im a loser but much more because I feel like doing the aproach is somehow too ackward),but if I can get any girl to talk with me for more than 5 minutes then most of them fall for my charms(wich is just telling them they are naughty and need some more sex.They usually blush and tell me they lied about not having sex before marriage)...

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Synthesis
Clubs are one of the harshest environments for a DJ. Read the three links in the DJ bible on clubbing.

One comment: It's bad to be seen alone. Women read this in a very negative way. Women are watching you the entire night -- to see who you came with and who you interact with.

"Social proof" is the idea that people look to others to see how to behave. Club girls will copy what they see. If they see that you're part of a group (and hopefully dominant within that group) they'll want a piece of that.

Also being a good dancer is important.

And talking is considered a bad thing in a club lol. It's all about non-verbal signals. Make sure your body language says "I'm in a good mood and I'm happy to be here."

If you look as if you're unhappy and lonely, girls pick up on that instantly and will reject you for it. Its in their genes.

Another thing the clubbing threads mention is that you've got to be a dominant alpha-male in a club.

The best I can come up with is.. using dominant body language around women (ie you do the approaches)..? Showing them you're in control? I dunno.

Can anyone else comment on alpha male (dominant) behaviour in clubs?

Yep very good post, however another thing in a club is to stand out, one good way is to be VERY good looking, hehe, but if not there are other ways to stand out. I personally wear a LOT of white clothing, whit CK Jeans, white turtle neck tops etc, this shines under the lights and makes them catch your eye!