Clubs are not date spots!

[ryoshi]

Clubs are good places to leave with a chick but not a good place to bring a chick. Especially if it's a date.

I've learned this on two occasions.

If you bring a girl to a club, the competition for you and her goes up which rarely leads to positive things unless the girl is really into you.
You risk her catching you checking out other chicks which never really adds up to any sort of admiration from that girl. You also risk her contrasting and comparing you to other guys there which can be bad if you haven't built up the proper amount of repore yet.

She will see the other guys there and will likely wonder if she should stay with you or not.

Another thing is dancing abilities. You must be able to dance well to go to a club with a girl since they are likely there to just dance and toy with guys.

Another thing is that it's loud. You cannot really hold a decent conversation or seduction by screaming into her ears.

Oh, and if she's currently not considering your time out with her a "date" then you should not pay for her. Seems obvious but this one chick roped me into it by hassling with a credit card showing that it was out of money so she wanted to borrow some. Do not fall for this. Seems obvious but hey, live and learn.


If even one of my fellow brothers here use this advice to their advantage, my hard knocks with these girls were not in vain.

 

[squirrels]

LOL...it depends on the "strength of your game."

If you take a woman to a club, you have to be on top of your game...you have to know that YOU are the God among these mortals and that if she wants to walk off with another guy, it's HER loss, not yours.

If she's into you enough, you don't even HAVE to dance. She WILL come back to you.

I've seen it happen...it depends on you and the girl. Generally, you're right. Clubs are not good spots, especially for a "first date," but sometimes if you meet a girl and feel that she's into you, going to the club with your friends and her friends can be an easy "in". I've seen it work that way. Not with me, but with other "alpha males".

 

[One on One]

I think clubs have their advantages as well. Obviously, you can get a lot of kino on. Plus, most girls see a lot of club guys as sleazy so, since you already have rapport with her, you can get away with a helluva lot more.

 

[Bonhomme]

Depends

I've had a lot of terrific first dates going to clubs where bands are playing. Often end up getting pretty physical during the last band's set.

If there are good bands playing that you're both into, club dates can be great.

Outdoor classical concerts at twilight are even better.

 

[ryoshi]

Re: Depends

Originally posted by Bonhomme
I've had a lot of terrific first dates going to clubs where bands are playing. Often end up getting pretty physical during the last band's set.

If there are good bands playing that you're both into, club dates can be great.

Outdoor classical concerts at twilight are even better.

Yeah, I must admit that I agree with you there. I hadn't thought of that but it's true.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is this guy for real? The whole idea is to be a DJ. James Bond could give a rip if he was in a club, he would take advantage of it.

1. If her interest level isn't high, why are you wasting your time with her?

2. In a club the competition is high, she should be one of the women competing for YOU!

3. Guys, I don't care what anyone says, you need be confident enough to get onto the dance floor and show machismo even if you CAN'T dance. What's so hard about dancing anyway, it's not like it's public speaking!

4. And yes, it is loud. DJs don't scream, they keep the woman close enough to him so she can hear him. Yeah, it is hard if you are on opposite sides of a table, but it's easy as hell to pull a woman close to you while you are on the dance floor . Oh and if you haven't thought about it, you can do a few other things while you have her pulled in close to you.

5. After a while of all that closeness on the dance floor should inspire her to ask you to take her someplace a little more quiet so she can "get to know you better."

So some on, where is your imagination to make the best of it? Choose your prey wisely, use the right ammunition, be sure to aim and shoot to kill, 'nuff said.

 

[ryoshi]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Is this guy for real? The whole idea is to be a DJ. James Bond could give a rip if he was in a club, he would take advantage of it.

1. If her interest level isn't high, why are you wasting your time with her?

2. In a club the competition is high, she should be one of the women competing for YOU!

3. Guys, I don't care what anyone says, you need be confident enough to get onto the dance floor and show machismo even if you CAN'T dance. What's so hard about dancing anyway, it's not like it's public speaking!

4. And yes, it is loud. DJs don't scream, they keep the woman close enough to him so she can hear him. Yeah, it is hard if you are on opposite sides of a table, but it's easy as hell to pull a woman close to you while you are on the dance floor . Oh and if you haven't thought about it, you can do a few other things while you have her pulled in close to you.

5. After a while of all that closeness on the dance floor should inspire her to ask you to take her someplace a little more quiet so she can "get to know you better."

So some on, where is your imagination to make the best of it? Choose your prey wisely, use the right ammunition, be sure to aim and shoot to kill, 'nuff said.

1. True. However, interest level isn't always high right away so you have to do things to raise it.

2. Also a good point and I think it takes a lot of effort to really get yourself in that mindset but it's worth the effort.

3. I have to disagree with you there. I've seen so many girls completely reject a guy because of his lack of skillz on the floor, especially when he thinks he's the sh*t. One could add humor and get away with it but you can't have all humor or the girl will find that unattractive.

4. I've had mouth to ear before in some clubs and it is so loud that you cannot hear anything still so closeness doesn't always help.

5. This I think is what any guy's goal should be.


Although, you make valid points, I still think that it's more of a risk then anything.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It may be risky but the payoffs are well worth it. That's what DJ's do...

 

[ryoshi]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
It may be risky but the payoffs are well worth it. That's what DJ's do...

True. Clubs are about being carnal and carnal sex is usually the best.

You would have to agree that it is something that only the more advanced DJs should do and not so much the DJs in training right? In reality, if you're a blackbelt pimp, no location will stop you.

However, the blow could be harsh depending on what she does to betray you. It can be worth the risk but keeping the risks in mind may help you to guard yourself.

I'm interested in hearing other's stories of what has happened, good and bad, in club dates. Care to share?

 

[STR8UP]

You don't bring a burger to Mcdonalds, do you?

 

[hitop]

This is a tricky subject because both camps have valid points. Personally I've always felt that taking your girl to club is a recipe for disaster, on the other hand, taking your girl to a place that usually has guys outnumber the gals buy 10:1 can prove as the ultimate litmus test as to where her true IL lies.

If she talks with other guys there is nothing wrong with that but if she openly flirts with other guys in front of you, that's the ultimate in disrespect. Some girls will try to throw you the manipulative curve ball by saying something to the effect of "Well what's the problem if we hang out at the club all the time, as long as we leave together what's the problem?". Hmmmm.....

That's not the problem, the problem is when you hit the head and she's dishin out her digits to the snake in the grass guy. But that goes back the what I stated above, if her IL in you is high then you have no worries. But honestly for me, I would rather avoid going to a club while on a date.

 

[Oxide]

i woudnt bring a girl to a club, becuase there is so much pu$$y in the club i woudnt need the girl i came with anymore.

You go on dates to get in her panties, and my rule is "why waste 2 chicks at a time when u can save one for later?"

so if u are on a date with a chick, why bring more girls into the game?

 

[dionysius_d]

Good one STR8UP.

I don't even see the point of bringing a girl to a club. For what??

Even if her IL is high, she is human. I went once with a girl who who would die for me.. but even she could not resist to talk to guys if they approach her on her way to the toilet or at the bar. She told me of the attempts later.

Some guys will try to pass her their cards etc. Most girls feel uncomfortable to refuse. Some will delight in it.

If you are not into her, it won't matter. However, if someone really liked a girl and brought her there, he would be asking for drama.

If you saw someone there you wanted to try, what can you do with a girl on your side?

A total waste of time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by hitop
This is a tricky subject because both camps have valid points. Personally I've always felt that taking your girl to club is a recipe for disaster, on the other hand, taking your girl to a place that usually has guys outnumber the gals buy 10:1 can prove as the ultimate litmus test as to where her true IL lies.[/i]

You are absolutely right. The whole persona of a DJ is the attitude that you can take on the whole world and what better place to do that other than a club????

True, it may not be perfect for Junior DJs but black belt DJs do not all bat 1000. The huge thing that differentiates us is that we can quickly tell if a HB is worth our time or not. I definitely walk away from more interactions than ones I've pursued, but I have not put in nearly the amount of time nor money into finding out that it would not work.

When I was starting out I made myself NOT focus on the feelings of rejection. I focused on how NOT to have that happen again. I had to go back to the club to make sure that I had learned my lessons thoroughly.

Call it trial by fire, but once you get the fortitude to let it roll off your back you will be sarging at every available opportunity as easily as ordering take out.

Jr DJs, the only thing that will really hold you back are your own fears....

 

[Knicknack]

i figure if i meet a girl at a club then the first date is a no brainer; another club. you already know you both feel comfortable at clubs and if you danced with her the day you met, then you'll know you will have fun again.

i met the girl i've been dating for almost a month at a really rowdy club. the first time i called her up i invited her to a less rowdy club where we could dance and talk a bit. the first date was great. when i walked in all these girls i know started coming up to me and hugging me and i did nothing to stop them. i wanted to appear like some kind of rare commodity. it worked wonders.

been having a wonderful time with the girl for about a month.

 

[ryoshi]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
The huge thing that differentiates us is that we can quickly tell if a HB is worth our time or not. I definitely walk away from more interactions than ones I've pursued, but I have not put in nearly the amount of time nor money into finding out that it would not work.

When I was starting out I made myself NOT focus on the feelings of rejection. I focused on how NOT to have that happen again. I had to go back to the club to make sure that I had learned my lessons thoroughly.

Call it trial by fire, but once you get the fortitude to let it roll off your back you will be sarging at every available opportunity as easily as ordering take out.

Very good point.

I'm new to this forum and methods but I think one of the major things that I keep seeing is to focus on IL. Hearing that you walk away from more interactions then pursuits is encouraging since you'll hear most guys trying to brag about a perfect track record.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ryoshi
Very good point.

I'm new to this forum and methods but I think one of the major things that I keep seeing is to focus on IL. Hearing that you walk away from more interactions then pursuits is encouraging since you'll hear most guys trying to brag about a perfect track record.

It is good that you understand that it is not about doing things perfectly. AFCs are notorious for attempting perfection and getting shot down or not even trying. I suspect that is why they usually spew a lot of false vibrato, but we all know that true DJs have nothing to prove and have no need to brag

 

[Bonhomme]

Yes, yes.

Very good points, Francisco, Knicknack, and hitop.

For dates I like to do whatever I'd be doing with or without her, for the most part. If it's in a club, it's in a club. But Francisco's absolutely right about learning to read interest levels and focusing on what's really important -- i.e., successes, rather than rejections.