Originally posted by Nicholas Hill
Is there any way at all we can succeed without social proof?
Absolutely. But in a club environment social proof is priceless. Really, in a club there are only a few ways to attract women: looks, alphaness, SOCIAL PROOF, and dancing. Those are the big four in my opinion.
So, if you're not super good looking, you're not the craziest alpha in the joint, and you're not exactly the smoothest on the dancefloor, you're REALLY going to struggle without social proof.
Having said that, if you're thinking about going to a club ALONE, here are some ideas:
[*] Don't appear to be hunting chicks. Just try and appear to be a cool guy who wants to have fun and meet other people.
[*] Make friends with a bartender or two.
[*] Drag a good-looking female cousin, sister, or friend along with you and use her as social proof.
[*] Find out a little bit about the crowd before you go.
[*] Take some time out from the dancefloor occassionally to find out who's with who, and who's all alone.
How do I go about a PU in a noisy club? Surely there can be nothing but body language to begin the attraction, so that you may then lead her aside. If I knew how to portray myself, I'd work on it. In a few months my questions may then change to "How do I hold a decent conversation?"...
Nicholas, a club is a meat market. You know this. As I said before, it's basically four factors for picking up in a noisy club (Looks, Alphaness, Dancing and Social proof - let's call it LADS) - verbal game is virtually taken out of the equation.
If you're good with words but not as physically impressive, take your game to the streets, parks, bookstores, pubs, malls etc.
As I started to dance, a woman came from behind me, grabbed my backside cheek and continued walking. What's the masculine response to this? (I never found out who it was... but next time I'd be more impulsive with my response)
Pfft, sounds like an attention *****. I could be very wrong, but that's what it sounds like. If she kept walking after she gave you an ass-squeeze, she probably wasn't interested anyway. Perhaps you could have grabbed her and started dancing, or just tapped her on the ass when you saw her next. Just go with the flow.
There really is no "correct" response.
I highlighted a bit in underline. I kept seeing guys with certain women I wanted to approach, and I thought to myself "If I go to that girl, I'll get beaten up (false assumption) by that guy!". Guys stick together, I hear, and are fundamentally loyal to each other. I'm still relatively new to the clubbing scene, so I still don't really know the "protocol" for picking up. Ie:
- When is a woman taken?
- How do I know when a woman is there to get laid?
- How do I know when a woman is there just to get drinks from men?
- What do I do to say subtly "I like you, want me to give you a chance?"
I know what you're talking about. It's difficult, especially when you're new to the club scene. And I've gotta tell ya, there is NO protocol. You just have to trust your gut feeling along with your OBSERVATIONS (remember what I said about joining death row?).
Unless you can read minds, there is no easy way to know the answers to any of the above questions, but there are ways to reduce your chances of running into aggressive guys...
[*] Approach the group as a WHOLE (don't just single out the woman). Make friends with EVERYONE in the group (pay particular attention to possible ****blocks like ugly girls and males). Just be warm and friendly. Then, when the time is right, take your target away for a dance or a chat outside...
[*] I've said it before and I'll say it again: OBSERVE who's with who. In a club, everything is physical - you have to use your eyes as tools to find out what's going on around you, all your other senses are useless.
[*] Approach a girl who's on her own with a ****y/funny remark. Sure, you won't be able to hold a whole conversation in a noisy club, but a couple of well placed comments can make a girl sit up and take notice of you. Remember to OBSERVE her reactions to you. If they're negative, back out. If she's flirtatious/smiling/interested, you may have bagged a winner.
[*] Kino is also a big weapon in a noisy club. Use it.
[*] Never buy a woman a drink.
[*] As for a "subtle" way of communicating your interest in a woman: eye contact + smiles, eye contact + waves, kino, ****y/funny (preferably sexual).
I still am amazed at how much a person's own thoughts are INSTANTLY picked up on by others.
I was eating an Indian with my best three friends for the end of (University) term. I noticed behind me a man and a woman. The woman ate that man up and I felt
sorry for the man. WE ALL PICKED UP ON HIS AFCness. Here are some random quotes:
- Woman: "You know, my sister would like your sense of humour"
- Man: "What do I order... err... what do you like?"
- Man: Let me buy you a drink... any one"
This is the crux though, I knew how bad he was at the dating game BEFORE I heard any of this. His body language sucked (and I was looking from the CORNER OF MY EYE!). It was obvious that he had found this girl and is feeling VERY LUCKY to be in her presence. Two questions:
Who had the power in that relationship?
Which pedestal-creating boy takes an alpha woman he'd just met to a fancy Indian resteraunt?
Haven't you just answered both of those questions?!
(Although the second one is a little confusing! I can't really tell if they're rhetorical questions...)
Towards the end I noticed those half happy men, who while dancing, were trying to decide whether or not to dance. Brrrrr! God forbid I would be so indecisive. I always say to myself "Nick, your indecisiveness will get you killed". Not dead, I know, but it will KILL my persona.
Yup, it's all or nothing on the dancefloor.
I'm in a position where I am not afraid to do any physical thing in a club. I thought that pulling women up to you is a good way to initiate a grind but all of the women that night looked at me stupid.
Don't just "pull" women in without them seeing you coming. Get some eye contact and a big smile.
De La Soul