Club anxiety

O_johnson

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Jun 12, 2004
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I'm really starting to get annoyed with myself!
Most of the time when I go to the club I usually feel uncomfortable, and almost out of place even though I know that I'm not. I don't have problems socializing or talking to women and I usually will run into various friends both male and female while at the club and I don't go alone I go with friends who are outgoing and fun, so there is really no reason for me to not enjoy myself, but most of the time I don't. Then every once in awhile for whatever reason I have the time of my life, I approach any female that I want without fear or hesitatation, I round up girls for my friends too if they aren't having any luck. I keep trying to get myself into the mindstate of these times when I actually have good times but it never seems to work out that way. I am more outgoing when I drink but I drink the same amount wheather I end up having a good time or a bad time so that's not it, and I always go out with the intentions of just trying to have a good time basically expecting the worst but hoping for the best. Where I'm from the guys that hit the danceflooor in groups or by themselves almost never have any luck picking up chicks this way.
so it's not really something I'm comfortable with doing, I'm a good dancer and will take HB's to the dancefloor after a successful pickup if they're game for it, but this usually only happens on the good nights.
I know I'm not the only one with this problem and I don't think it's possible to go to the club and not be thinking about trying to pick up women so I don't really buy into that "focus on having a goodtime not picking up chicks stuff" I would like to hear from anybody who can relate to what I'm talking about and has had success at overcoming club anxiety.
 

Resident DJ

Don Juan
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Jun 16, 2004
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I love the club, cuz there's so much energy rolling around everyone's usually pretty upbeat. I REALLY think that the oft recommended "Just concentrate on having fun" adage is the best advice. I works for me, consistently.

One minute you've got a good buzz and you're busting a move with a grin on your face and the next you're at her place and she just walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a robe...seriously.

Maybe you're concentrating TOO MUCH on having a good time, concentrating so much on not concentrating on picking up chicks and just having a good time that you're brain turns to mush and you lose motivation, end up having a miserable night. I've done that before too.

You have to HONESTLY just be going out to have fun, knowing you'll have a blast wether you hook up or not, for this to work. Just have a bit of confidence, fun, and surety about you in this frame of mind and not only will your chances of hooking up increase but even if you don't you won't give a 5h1t.

-Resident DJ
 

alone

Don Juan
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I can relate to you because I am despairingly insecure. At times I would approach a girl I would get tense and wonder wat she was thinking and whetehr or not she would play along or reject me so as a result i just wouldnt approach anybody and stay by myself and end up more miserable than when i entered the crowd.
Misery comes when one feels isolated but its worse when u feel isolated in a room of people
I dont know how i plan to over come it but i try to keep these thoughts in mind:
If you think youre beatenyouare
if you think you dare not you don’t
If you want to win but think you cant
its almost a cinch you wont
if you think you lose youre lost
for out in the world we find
success begins with a fellows will
its all in the state of mind
life’s battle doesnt always go
to the stronger and faster man
but sooner or later the man who wins
is the man who thinks he can
Practise daily relaxation to keep your mind and spirit from getting tired. Enthusiam is a characteristic of the vigorously alert
Allow no sense of guilt to take the luster of your spirit. Its the greatest of all causes of ennui
Keep the creative channel between you and God open remembering that enthusiasm is entheos meaning God within
Give all you’ve got to life, it will give its greatest gifts to you it will never grow old

I honestly hope they help you
 
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