Closing the chaper on Ms. Hard to Get

[niceguydying]

Long story short... I am going through a divorce and have been talking to a women for a few months and I F$%^ed up a told her that I was interested in her. I guess I thought she was more interested in me than she is/ was. We have hung out a few times, but I get shot down most of the time. She told me that her interest isn't quite where mine is and that she needs time to build things. She has said that she is pretty much waiting for my divorce, but this shouldn't stop her from wanting to hang out.

She calls me throughout the week and this confuses me because I really can't determine her interest level. If I can't spend time with her she will never know me. Why does she call me??? Several months ago she lived with a guy that was like me... Going through a divorce and after a year or so of them living together he left her and moved back in with ex-wife. I understand she is gun shy, but damn she is gonna miss out on me. I have nothing to do with her past relationship mishaps.

We have had some promising conversations which I feel lead me on. I am starting to grow very tired of this crap. Sure I am still married but like I explained to her it will be final in 45 days or so and in my mind, it has been over for a year in my marriage to me.

When I ignore her it does bother her, just not sure why. In the beginning, I gave her much attention (I know stupid me!!!)

I am about ready to stop talking to her altogether because of her weird interest level. Should I just walk w/o saying anything or just I tell her to STOP CALLING me because she is not interested enough and that's too bad. Because it does mess with my mind and I am tired of feeling like this. I think married or not, if she were more inetersted she would want to hang out because I will be single shortly. I would hate to end things before seeing what happens when I am divorced, but I may have to take a chance.

 

[szof]

In my experience, when you declare your feelings and/or give too much attention, especially too early, to a woman, her interest will drop and you will lose control. This is a mostly irredeemable situation. Some assole will soon come in and present her the challenge she's looking for -- if she wanted "safe" she'd have stayed with the other guy.

In your case, you have lost control. Her IL is down. She thinks you are an easy target and that bores her. She does not want to be put on the pedestal. If you continue to pursue, even with less attention given, you will soon be left in the cold with little idea of what happened. This will mess up your innergame.

Take it from someone who has been in a very similar situation, very recently (see my "FF to GF conversion" thread): you cannot recover unless you cut her off COMPLETELY. If you do this, you will likely lose her - with the off chance she'll snap out of it and realize that you're not the douche she thinks you are. Any other course of action will result in losing her AND losing your self respect. She will continue to drag you along across unpaved highways until some intriguing assole comes and sweeps her off your hands.

Preserve your self-respect. Do not be dragged into the ditch.

Dump her ASAP.

 

[niceguydying]

That hit me where I needed it! I appreciate you replying and putting me in my place. OUCH!!!!!!