#-close, right away or wait a bit?

[Obsidian]

I guess there may be no hard-and-fast rule, but I was wondering what y'all's thoughts were on #-closes:

If you meet a girl that you are reasonably sure you will see again fairly soon, should you still feel compelled to #-close on the first time you meet her? Or might it be good to wait 'til the second time you see her to ask her -- and thereby increase the level of rapport and maybe seem less desperate/hard-core?

It seems to me like not everyone who hooks up does it after just one meeting, so I was curious about the best way of doing things. It seems like if I feel compelled to do it right away, that's automatically putting me into the mindset of being impatient/desperate.

...which is exactly something I'm trying to outgrow

 

[ViciousDADogg]

Yes... Show her as soon as possible that you want to stick her. She will ge flattered. If she don't want you she'll let you know. The only better thing than # is kiss close, as far letting you know she wants to fvck you. You want to know as soon as you can that she wants, so that you don't waste time on her.

 

[Obsidian]

bah, hardly anyone ever answers my posts

(thanks Dogg)

It just seems to me that one meeting is usually not ideal for getting strong enough rapport to prevent flakiness (or outright rejection). Two or three seems a lot better. Does anyone agree?

 

[Slick101]

Yo if u can kiss close the first time and then number close the 2nd...

thats Great!

 

[Dongfu]

I don't worry about the # close if I know where I can find her, such as a work place, etc. I'll run into her a couple times, build rapport, find a common interest, and then say, "Okay, I'll give you a call." Now she has to give me her number.

If I may never see her again, I get the # and confirmation of a next meeting. Some things are best not left to chance.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So your goal is only to get her number and talk to her on the phone?

 

[J-Bone]

So your goal is only to get her number and talk to her on the phone?

he said it right get that number with the intentions of making a date instead of talking to them. just remember if you get where your good at this you may end up having more dates than you planned. ive got a gf but i just accidently set two dates this weekend with other girls one of them is her good friend haha! the other girl has a bf and everything he does has AFC in capital letters flashing with neons. oh well if it dont kill me itll make me stronger as long as they dont find out and kick me in the balls. maybe ill keep these dates set at leave em wantingmore and then ill have two great backup plans in case one of us decides to end the relationship.

 

[intel123]

give her your number and let her call you ... is that a good idea ? or bad

 

[J-Bone]

bad idea cause she will think your not confident in many cases. you would have to really really make her see value in you for her to even think about calling because girls get guys numbers all the time but girls are not the one who usually mke the moves so she will just add to her trophy collection of guys digits.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

he said it right get that number with the intentions of making a date instead of talking to them. ...

What is it with you guys, are you afraid to ask women out for a date in person? She's standing right in front of you but you'd rather get worked up over getting her number. THEN if you get the number, you start worrying about when to call her... THEN you worry about what to say to her on the phone... Grab yourself by the short-hairs, give a yank and open your mouth and tell her that the two of you should get together and [fill in the blank].

 

[Obsidian]

well, I used to do it your way, Francisco, but recently I've decided to put AD's Machine into action a bit more. He says to get numbers and make them wait instead of just asking them out in person.

also, I just have very little experience with #-closes so I wanted to get better at it. I figure once I get better, it might help me in more cold approach-type situations. I'm pretty solid at flirting. kino, and all that nonsense, but AD and Pook say that real men should be a little more direct. I need to get better at closing in general, especially now that I'm out of undergrad college and out more into the real world.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

well, I used to do it your way, Francisco, but recently I've decided to put AD's Machine into action a bit more. He says to get numbers and make them wait instead of just asking them out in person.....

I'm curious, why does AD say that you should do this, at least with a phone number? I understand wanting them to sustain interest and not to come off as too anxious, but that can be done by setting up a date for the following week (preferably a weekday).

It's just that a woman who isn't interested in you will give you her number almost as easily as a woman who is interested, just to get rid of you. However, a woman won't accept a subsequent meeting with you if she isn't interested. Asking her out is a fast way to find out if she's really interested in you or just trying to get rid of you.

The only trick (if you can call it that) to doing this is being able to get her to a place during the initial meeting where she definitely wants to see you again. This goes beyond just gaining rapport and beyond making her feel comfortable with you.

This is where I think a lot of guys have trouble with and hope that those things will magically happen over the "cooling off" period between him getting her number and when he calls. She's not going to get to that place magically guys.

 

[Phyzzle]

I think AD's & Doc Love's advice on the # is based on a time before caller ID.

Back then, a woman with low interest would give you her work phone, or a fake #. So the #-close was a big indicator of interest.

The BEST thing is to #-close right away, then don't call her! Just wait until you see her again, then ask her out as an afterthought! Basically, there just isn't any need to ask her out right away if you're going to see her a few times. You can build some interest 1st.

Plus, what if crap happens, and you don't see her again? At least you can call her.

 

[Obsidian]

I'm curious, why does AD say that you should do this, at least with a phone number?

Umm, I'm not totally sure. I guess it's just an additional layer for the process of filtering out hors and low-interest women. Here's the quote I'm referring to:

Never discuss the second date with her. Always call. Never discuss the first date. "Let's get together some time. Want to go to dinner?"

NEVER SAY THAT. Ask for the number. Then TELL her what it is when you call.

 

[Obsidian]

The BEST thing is to #-close right away, then don't call her! Just wait until you see her again, then ask her out as an afterthought!

yeah, I think maybe you're right. I've really gotta man up and become a #-closing machine.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally Posted by AD's Machine, part VIII

Never discuss the second date with her. Always call. Never discuss the first date. "Let's get together some time. Want to go to dinner?"

NEVER SAY THAT. Ask for the number. Then TELL her what it is when you call.

Interesting. The reason I usually tell a woman what my plans are is to gauge her interest level by her reaction. I'm guessing that AD is saying not to as some way to increase her interest level by leveraging her curiosity. The problem is that if she's at all attractive, some guy like me will approach her with some great plan to go to a party or something similar and she'll jump at the opportunity. Why wouldn't she? She hasn't been given a better offer.

 

[zerocelcius]

Go for the FClose if that is a No-GO
Go to the KClose if that is a No-GO
GO to the #Close....