Clarification of ****y & Funny

[SexPDX]

It's time to clarify what ****y and funny (C&F) actually is.

My apollogies to mikezal (I have actually enjoyed your posts, man) for having to single him out on this occcasion with regards to this post.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20829

What mikezal said was not C&F. It was insulting. The problem with this message board is that almost nobody really gets concepts like neg hits and C&F and by now everyone is feeding off the misconceptions of people who SOUND like they know something and forming their ideas based on that.

Most guys know how to be ****y, but the "funny" in ****y and funny is what they screw up. They say something that sounds funny to THEM but not to the chick. The idea is to be playfull and NOT mean. It is really better thought of as "****y and playfull" rather than "****y and funny" because C&F really only works if she plays along. Also, as Style would say, you need to be able to back up what you say and continue what you start.

When you are doing it RIGHT she will throw you C&F back at you and you have to have a better response ready. Keep the upper hand, but ALWAYS stay in a playfull mood. When you have playfull interactions it makes it okay to say certain things because you are "just playing" (not that you ever SAY you are just playing, don't do that). But while you are having these sorts of playfull interactions you and the girl give each other clues as to how you are inclined to relate to each other on a more serious level.

The other day I was on the train talking to a girl who was a bartender at a strip club...

HB: I can be mean at work:
SexPDX: You seem so sweet. I really have a hard time believing you can ever be mean.

I said that with a grin hoping she would take it as a playfull challenge to show me she could be mean (but not a serious challenge of course because I really wouldn't want to put her in a "mean" mood).

HB: You better watch it, wiseguy. You don't want what your asking for.
SexPDX: Wiseguy? Trying to imitate Al Capone, that's cute (laughiung).
HB: Just back up now, I ain't playin'.
SexPDX: Oh, now you're TUPAC. Hehehe! Listen, I know you can't be mean to me but it's SO CUTE to see you try.

The whole frame here was playfull. Once you come across as mean or insulting (no matter how funny it is to YOU) the exchange is no longer playfull, it is seroius and that degrades rapport to a point where it will not be rebuilt.

-PDX

 

[oOh Nasty]

i like

 

[sux2bu]

HB: What are you looking at?
Me: Incredible Photo. Just incredible.

HB: How old are you??
Me: You have to be 18 to ride this machine.
HB: No, really.
Me: How old do I look?
Me: Clean your contacts first...
HB: You suck@comedy.
Me: Oh, you're familiar with the word "suck", aren't U?



Oreo, America's favorite cookie!

 

[SexPDX]

An example of being an ass to a girl

Originally posted by sux2bu
HB: What are you looking at?
Me: Incredible Photo. Just incredible.

HB: How old are you??
Me: You have to be 18 to ride this machine.
HB: No, really.
Me: How old do I look?
Me: Clean your contacts first...
HB: You suck@comedy.
Me: Oh, you're familiar with the word "suck", aren't U?



Oreo, America's favorite cookie!

Dude, you posted this in spite of the fact that the chick told you your game sucks. She was not lying. If she was feeling your game, she would have played along instead of telling you it sucked. Then you went on with that about her being familiar with the word "suck", guys don't follow this advice unless you want to come off like the biggest ass clown the girl has ever met.

-PDX

 

[Big-J]

Originally posted by sux2bu
HB: What are you looking at?
Me: Incredible Photo. Just incredible.

HB: How old are you??
Me: You have to be 18 to ride this machine.
HB: No, really.
Me: How old do I look?
Me: Clean your contacts first...
HB: You suck@comedy.
Me: Oh, you're familiar with the word "suck", aren't U?



Oreo, America's favorite cookie!

That's not funny .

 

[mikezal]

I realised it was insulting after I said it, but it was far to late. But, the point I was trying to make is that sometimes when your trying to be funny, playful or just funny, you can also be insulting, espeically if you blurt things out off the top of your head. Also, everyone gets insulted by different things, some people you can say pretty much anything to and they will laugh it off, and others you say something questioning anything about them and they imediatly become defensive. I basically made 2 mistakes, 1 not thinking before I spoke and 2 not feeling the girl out, to see how her personality was. I was using C/F pretty much as you descrivbed above, but, I got carried away, I was on a roll. But, you guys are right when it comes to something, like body type, or name, its a definite no-no.

 

[Hot Ice]

SexPDX, good clarification!
Next time all of you bro's keep this in mind!

 

[Babaganoosh]

I think a lot of people don't realize how dangerous C&F or neg hits can be if improperly wielded - the line between funny and insulting is a thin and blurry one. One little comment and you may offend a girl (or anyone for that matter) such that they won't want anything to do with you again. I think the safest way to do this is to keep it centered on yourself (for example, if for whatever reason she says you're great, reply "I am, arent I?" etc..) - and stay away from commenting directly about her until you've established an appropriate level of intimacy. That's what I think anyway.

 

[Elimidate]

FINALLY!!!

I was working on a piece about C+F myself. Great post PDX!

What we all have to remember is that BOTTOM LINE if you use insults or arrogance in any way (funny to you or not) towards her, she will hate you for life. Yes, the word "hate" may sound stong but I feel it's true. Women are created and act on pure emotions and will remember you for making them feel bad. It's sort of like when you screw up at work, you're boss will remember it as quick as snapping your fingers....while if you ask them to name all the great work you've done, it will take much longer!


Elimidate

 

[sux2bu]

What we all have to remember is that BOTTOM LINE if you use insults or arrogance in any way (funny to you or not) towards her, she will hate you for life.

This is SO true.. Women, especially the really insecure ones that have little or no confidence, will TAKE THIS TO THE GRAVE. I have ruined many an opportunity because I couldn't keep my trap shut. Even when something was said in a context that wasn't demeaning... Women wear their feelings on their shoulders 24/7. They are VULNERABLE to everything they hear, see, and take the wrong way. Someone could be laughing in a room and sometimes a girl will automatically assume she is to topic of laughter. It's too bad that insecurity and inferiority play a major factor in the way women face/view men and the world in general.



Perhaps my whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

 

[Hedgehog]

This actually reminds me of something that happened to me once.

This all CF/ NH thing works both ways.

A girl tried to NH me once and she really fvcked it up coz I got really insulted. I ended up hating her until this day.

This whole thing is a human thing not a female thing. You can apply it to other people male and female alike, and pay attention when other people apply this to you!

 

[Lozz]

Interesting. Ithink you've explained what was needed to be said.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Another thing I must add is that body language can be used as well to accomplish the C&F technique. If you say something mildly insulting, you can portray it in a different light just by using your body language. Smiles work quite well, as well as light kino.

Like SexPDX said, you have to be playful. If you say something a bit insulting and give her the wrong body language, she's naturally going to be insulted.

 

[Sisko]

And another thing :

Like I said in another tread,
it's not all what you say, but how you say it !

If I'm in the right frame of mind I get away with the most insoulting things I can come up with.
And I keep a strait face until a girl starts to eighter laugh or playfully hit me...
then I cannot restrain myself for laughing.

Of course there are times when I screw up...

An example:

I saw a beautifull blonde ! (and she is a blonde, I was with her and a friend), so I start describing her, and when she was shore
I thought abouth her, I said to her: "Will you help me introudce myself to her?"

Heh this was a great one, a big success, although it doesn't look
funny now,
but as is with humor, the best is when it's situational.

I'll write some more examples when I get the will to do it..

 

[Luscious]

Originally posted by Bungo Pony
Another thing I must add is that body language can be used as well to accomplish the C&F technique. If you say something mildly insulting, you can portray it in a different light just by using your body language. Smiles work quite well, as well as light kino.

Like SexPDX said, you have to be playful. If you say something a bit insulting and give her the wrong body language, she's naturally going to be insulted.

I must agree with this. Seeing the posts on this thread about insults making the girl 'hate you for life', as someone eloquently put it, I thought that I must be one lucky guy to not have an "Anti-Luscious" club against me.

I use insults and arrogance. A lot. It used to throw me for a loop on how well it worked, but I then rationalized it as neg-hits...except it was much more insulting than neg-hits. A few weeks ago, I noticed I was using open body language when putting these comments out. I tried using closed body language and the results were extremely different (in a bad way, dammit).

Thanks to Bungo Pony for ruining my ideas for a post about it . Actually, I was too busy to post it anyways .

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

It really confuses me sometimes about neg-hits

What is a neg-hit?

You will say this "IDJ, you've been here long enough and you don't know what is a neg-hit?"

I've been reading many posts about it and it said neg-hits are used to hit a girl off the pedestal and make her insecure.

So in other words, you are saying that a neg-hit purpose is to make the girl feel inferior by insulting her. Is that right

For example :

IDJ : Wow, you look beautiful today.!

HB : I'm always beautiful. My boyfriend always tells me that. Anyway, thx for the compliment.!

IDJ : That's nice. Even you could have a boyfriend.!

HB : I've many boyfriends in the past and many guys find me intimidating especially those who enjoy flattering me because I rejected a lot of them

IDJ: Your outfit looks fantastic. Where did you get them? I can remember that my grandmother got one at home as well.

HB : I am fascinated by the way you've given your opinion. I appreciate it a lot. Do you have a gf?

IDJ : No I don't. Because I haven't found anyone as interesting as you.!

HB : Do you need match-making services? I can help you get one.!

See, the girl is engaging in a teasing combat here. And honestly speaking, I have improved a lot since I last have my verbal sparring with the guy T.A . Still remember the post "Verbal Combat"? I've bought a few books on verbal self defense and wow, they're really good.!

So based on the above conversation, is this neg-hit or insult? I've posted this at MASF and they said "This is not neg-hit. This is insult". You can make her hate you if you do it wrongly.

So how the hell should a neg-hit be?

 

[Sir Shags Alot]

Yeah I have pissed off some chicks when I first started doing this. It definatly has a fine line between insult and humor. I am getting pretty good at it now! Great post. PDX put some more situations on there if you don't mind. I enjoy your examples.