Chutzpah boot camp

[Chutzpah]

A new school year is upon us! I thought this would be a great time t get this phobia of girls over with! I've always been lurking and reading and devouring every information I can. I must say, very informative!

Anyways, I've completed the required readings for the first week of the BOOT CAMP. And with much unsuccess, let me tell you my day. Perhaps one of you fellow DJs can set me straight.

In a school of more than 15,000 students, I failed to greet any fellow students! All the students avoid eye contact like the plague. Even worse, I find myself looking away at times. It seems simple afc tendencies don't go away so easily. Anyways, I jet out after a simple 15min fustration. (In truth, I saw some old hs friends that I just didn't feel like talking.) I then proceeded to take the public transit and try my luck there. No dice. I even went to the mall for a dentist appointment and hopefully get a few hi's. Still no luck! What is going on??

I've done a quick read of both Walden and Seraph's journals and realize that I don't necessarily have to wait to greet the person AFTER they give me more than a second eye contact. All day today I've been waiting for the right timing. Perhaps I should simply just force a hi out of them? I'll give it a try tomorrow and see what happens.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

People will look up and make eye contact and look away. I don't think I have found anyone yet that has held eye contact. I say, even if they make eye contact for a moment then go ahead and say hello.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 1 Day 2

Alright! I got the ball starting. 6 hi's today, 2 guys and 4 girls. None of the girls are above a 4.5 rating, so nothing too great about. However, I did take the advice and force the hi's. On two - three occasions (I can't quite recall the exact number), the girl had glanced at me from a few meters away. I greeted her just the right moment as she did respond with a hi. Great feeling when it works.

I wonder when I'll start to have real confidence instead of inducing this temporary sort of stuff. In other words, I have to psyche myself up for the challenge as I pick my targets to greet. Anyways, I'll have to cut my training a bit short as I'll be working from late afternoon to midngiht. No worries, I won't be counting the greetings I'll be giving to the customers into my boot camp. I'm looking forward to tomorrow!

 

[Dapper Swindler]

The whole point of the exercise is to get you out of your comfort zone and gradually elminate your fears and inhibitions. If you say hello to someone and they don't say hello back it might hurt a little. Stop and think, "am I wounded?" No "Is this somehow going to affect my day" No "Would my life be any better if I never said hello to this person?" No. Slowly we come to the realization that it is an irrational fear.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 1 Day 3

I better start doing my hi's! I'm on my 3rd day today and I was unable to say hi to anyone. Given the fact that I woke up around 11am, workedout by myself in the gym for a good 1.5hr (only me and this old man, he was too grumpy!) and ...... ah, I'm making excuses. I'll have to make it up tomorrow and the subsequent weekend. Anyways, 44 more to go!

And thanks for the encouragement Dappler. Nice to see that someone is following my journal and not just myself. =D

 

[squirrels]

The more you do it, the less you should get bent out of shape about it, as it becomes a NORMAL THING to say hello (which it should be anyway). Then you'll start to relax and be more natural in the way you do it, which should get you better responses from people.

 

[apodyopsis]

hey man, glad to hear ur doin the bootcamp. its good to see more people going out and making that extra step for self-improvement. i look foward to reading urs, so good luck and stick with it!

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 1 day 3+4

W00t! It feels good to have some pressure to get the boot camp going. All the more to work harder!

Anyways, this phobia is not going away anytime soon! I find it increasingly difficult at the mall as everyone is either looking, or pretending to be looking at things. Namely, they're not looking in my direction. The only EC I do get are from those who are working at the mall. Those greetings don't count, tho I do greet anyways. I've gone to the mall yesterday and today. I was able to pull four, but was limited on time. Today, was worse, I was only there half an hour before I got a called away. So all in all. I've amassed a total of 10 greetings. I've also got work in the evening which makes things harder. Its a saturday night, and everyone will be out!

Tomorrow, I'll head over to downtown library and hopefully, i'll be able to complete at least 15. Three days left.

BTW, I don't know about you guys, but up here in Vancouver, there seems to be quite a lot of people who have this snobbish constipated look. I think its this look that I have to get over. Force a smile on their face.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 1 Day 5+6

Day 5 was terrible. I woke up late (having gotten off work around 4am and then chillin with my buddies for another 2hrs) and didn't get to go out other than to a restaurant. Was only able to greet one person before i headed back to home and attended to some much needed school work.

Day 6, however, was EXCELLENT. Thinking that today was the last day of week 1, I was determined to greet 39 strangers. I failed to tho. However, by the time I was down to 25 strangers, I could really feel myself feel more confident greeting people, whether they gave me a quick glance or not. I did get a few who ignored me, but those who didn't, I was generally greeted with a smile. A TOTAL confidence booster. I've got 21 left to greet tomorrow, starting early at 8:30am. I started around 3pm and was finding fewer and fewer people to greet when I really started to shine (around 8-9pm). I'm definately looking forward to tomorrow!

I find that I still prefer people to give me at least an ec before I greet them. No matter how fleeting their glance is, it is enough to give me a reason to say hi. The ones who don't, I feel kind of awkward. We'll see what the last 21 greetings will do to my confidence level! I can't wait till I start talking to 10 strangers. I can expect that my confidence will climb even higher!

 

[david90]

go to the beach and do some cardio. Beach people are easy going and he maintain EC. I'm speaking from personal experience btw.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 1 day 7

Alright!! I have finally hit the 50th mark! What a great feeling! I can now confidently greet anyone who glances my way, even holding ec for less than half a second. (Though, it won't be 100%, i do get a lot of positive responses!) I've had about two people look at me funny as they thought I was talking to someone else! Both times we were the only ones in the vicinity. It was hilarious. I guess they're not used to being greeted.

I noticed that I still hesitate when people do not atleast look towards my way before I greet them. I guess it's my mentality. Based on my experiences, people who interrupt me when I am not even looking in their direction (in other words, unaware), it feels like they're bothering me somewhat. Am I babbling? Anyone care to refute this argument or provide success examples?

Anyhow, its late right now, and I have an early class tomorrow. Tomorrow I won't be able to start the boot camp of week#2, I haven't had the chance to read the required reading and what not. In addition, I have an assignment I must spend time on. This boot camp does take quite a lot of time. I'm gittering in anticipation as to how the next challenge will affect me!

It feels damn good to have a boost of confidence!

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 2 Day 2

I apologize for pushing my boot camp 2 days. (There should be punishment!) I had some things to take care of first.


Anyways, I began my first conversation at where I work. It was with a co-worker. Now, hold on. Where I work is an upscaled bar/restaurant. Hot girls working all the time, and i don't recognize half of them everytime I work. (I've worked for about 6-7 weeks now) This hot girl, I'd give an 8 is new. Unfortunately my conversation didn't last past her response. Basically, it was her working on the computer system ringing in whoknowswhat:

Me: Looks like pretty simple stuff.
Her: Yeah...
Me:....(hit, say something!)...

I ended up turning around and going back to work =/ However, later, when we were all off around 2:30am, she was very cheerful. Throughout my shift, however, we make small talk. Eventually, she left with a bunch of my co-workers to one of their pads, her and another girl. I could've gone, but I decided not too. I wanted to go home early, (haven't been home by 3:30am since a long time on a working night). Yet, on the otherside of me, I feel like I should've gone and get to know her better. I reasoned with myself that I'dstay away from her a bit and work on my game till I feel like i'm ready. A bit of oneitis style? She's a girl with a personality I haven't encoutered before. Like someone who's always cheerful, knows what's going on and just brighten ups the room. I don't want to treat her as another expendable girl. I'd definately like to get to know her better. Haha, however, there is a catch. I believe my friend, and my coworker is trying to sleep with her. He called it first, so I guess i'll step aside and work my game on other girls. Anyone want to share there thoughts on this?

Tonight I plan to try to have a conversation with the girls at my workplace. They're very friendly and open. Or should I not do that and find real strangers/cold approaches?

 

[MrCode]

Hey Chutzpah,

Good work so far, I think you are going to do really well in this boot camp. I'm doing it too (plus all the other guys), so you aren't alone.

Firstly, to address your question in your week 1, day 7 post, I don't think you should assume that all people feel like you. I understand your perspective, but I think it is more an introverted person's perspective. Some people might feel you are bothering them or interrupting them by saying a random hi, but most people are so attention starved that even the slightest contact from another human being can be great! So get out of your comfort zone and try to greet everyone, even people who don't make eye contact. I too am going to try to do this and see how it goes.

Regarding your question in your week 2, day 2 post, I think talking to your coworkers is a good warm-up, but to get the most out of this boot camp you need to try to do all cold approach conversations. So I say talk to your coworkers, but don't pressure yourself since those should not count in your required 10 for the boot camp.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 2 Day 3

Thank's for the advice MrCode. I guess I should do cold approaches more. I, however, feel that counting a few from school should do. Going to the mall would be difficult. However, I think I'll try the park sometime this week if the weather permits. So far, my count is still at zero. Today was the first day I had to myself (no school, no work) and decided to stay home and catch up on some work. Tomorrow should be interesting. So, I will try to have it as:
5 Context approaches
5 Cold approaches.

Total count so far: 0



I think I'll read up on some asf openers. No canned lines or patterns. Just some ideas.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 2 Day 4

Man, now I am starting to feel the choking effects. Today I was scouting out targets to practice my convo skills. However, I couldn't bring myself to sit near a girl and strike a convo.

I did, however, talk to a girl sitting next to me in a class. Unfortunately, that wasn't a cold-approach (there was context) and that I was at most able to speak to her for a minute (at most 1.5mins) before the prof began his lecture. Argh, it was going good. I'm debating whether to count it or not.

Another thing is, I'm debating whether or not to extend this boot camp week by the looks of things. I came to school 6hrs earlier in hopes to get a few convos in. That didn't work well. I also wanted to go and work out, that didn't happen either. Oiy, it's fustrating.

Even more so right now are a bunch of cute girls infront of me as I type this in a lounge/study hall area. Unfortunately they all know an aquiantence of mine which further shy's me away from them. I need to either come up with a different strategy or a way to get me motivated!


Hott damn that aritzia clothing is looking good on her... (Dammit! And I'm in sweats!)


Anyways, time for class. And yes, its 9:30pm right now.

 

[Chutzpah]

Week 1 Day 2

Well, after failing miserably the 2nd week 2 weeks ago, I decided to have it a go again. I was sick all last week and so another lossed week. This week, however, I have made the first step! Yesterday I had planned on talking up to a hb 6.5 in my class. I tried going a tad late to find her and sit next to her. Unfortunately, she wasn't there till a lot later....and sat behind me (doh!). Oh well, missed opportunity. Lesson learned, don't plan on talking to a stranger. Just go up to one and talk, spur of the moment!

And to take my own advice, I did so today! After having worked out for 2hrs, I headed down stairs at my school to get my belongings and drive home. On the way, I stopped to get some food. Perhaps it was the aphrodisiac(sp?) affect of working out, but I had no difficulty in walking up to a table with a girl by herself! I ended up having a good 10-15 min convo with her while eating lunch! She wasn't great, maybe a hb4, but nonetheless, it was definately an experience. I WASN'T able to have a deep and very interesting conversation, but we manage to talk the entire time. I'll next work on rapport and more conversation skills than simply trying to boost my confidence. It started with school and then switching over to video games. Next time, I'll try to hold a conversation that is out of the context of where we are. Difficult, but I'd like to try.

Looking forward to tomorrow to doing the same again. And if it's sunny within the next few days, I'll head to the park!

(btw, I saw a hb 7 today at the gym. Couldn't believe it but I chickened out. oiy.)

 

[MrCode]

I know the feeling. Week 2 seems a lot harder than Week 1. I've extended my BC Week 2 and still only have two conversations. I have one more day to get 8 conversations!

Oh well, if I don't get the conversations I need I'll just move on to Week 3. I'm sure it will be easier to talk to hot women.

 

[HeimdallThorhammer]

Chutz,

Now try this....

Hold eye contact with some chick approaching. Don't smile. Don't say anything. Don't 'stare' either, just be calm and cool but intense. Slightly sexy.

Wait for her to react.

If you do it right, her face will react as she approaches. She'll smile a lot of the time.

I can now get them to smile pretty regularly.

THEN say Hi....

Or better yet, say hi and use an opener. Try it in malls, stores, restaurants, anywhere....

They can't take it, man. Holding their eyes intimidates the fvck out of them. It shows you as strong, and makes it clear to them that their beauty does not faze you. You can make the most HB10 smile or react.

I'd almost guarantee that there some sort of primal sexual reaction going on, that is making them recognize our dominance...