Chivalry

[Black Minx]

I would like to hear everybody's opinions on chivalry.

The reactions you have gotten for using it?
How many attempt it?
Why don't/ Why do you use it?

And opinions on the principal behind it, as well as any other theories/opinions on the subject.

 

[Warrior74]

Define it. You mean like opening doors and pulling out chairs? only if she's worth it.

this article has some wrong headed info..but some good points as well.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/32_dating_girl.html

the whole pedestal bit is garbage. No woman wants to be on a pedestal. you cant reach up and fvck her when she's way up there.

 

[MCristo]

It's nice to hold the door open for anyone, not just women. On the other hand pulling out their chair and opening their car door for them is a bit over the top. They can handle that themselves.

 

[Jitterbug]

the whole pedestal bit is garbage. No woman wants to be on a pedestal. you cant reach up and fvck her when she's way up there.

Unless said pedestal is your c0ck...

Opening door : I do it for everyone, if I get to the door first, or if the person behind me is carrying something heavy.

Pulling out chair and opening car door - they can do it themselves, unless I happen to be standing there already.

 

[Ken785]

Define it. You mean like opening doors and pulling out chairs? only if she's worth it.

this article has some wrong headed info..but some good points as well.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/32_dating_girl.html

the whole pedestal bit is garbage. No woman wants to be on a pedestal. you cant reach up and fvck her when she's way up there.

Only people who love to be on a pedestal are attention wh0res.

 

[reset]

The only time I use EXTRA chivalry is if I REALLY want to impress the girl.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Chivalry is the extension of a woman's self worth. If she gives a sh!t enough about the lengths she will go to please her man, than that man will return the favor in kind.

Doing some extranious bullsh!t for any reason other than that is supplicating to gain her attention and affirmation in the hope she'll allow him to put his oar in her ocean.

 

[Interceptor]

Try to think of chivalry as your demonstration of you rnatural masculine grace.
Try to do wit without judgement of if the chick is 'worth it' or not.

You either have masculine grace or not. Its not a switch you turn on or off.

No one is talking about going overboard here.
Everything within moderation.

The problem lies when men do it because they want attention and recognition for it.

Do it for anyone , not just the hawt chick.


If they scoff and balk and you being courteous, that is their problem for they lack self respect, class and manners.

And more people than not are like this, completeyl oblivious to what good manners even ARE.
Always think in terms of common courtesy and politeness, not trying to get recognition for it. So add no emotinal investment or attachment in that manner.

 

[Commando]

Try to think of chivalry as your demonstration of you rnatural masculine grace.
Try to do wit without judgement of if the chick is 'worth it' or not.

You either have masculine grace or not. Its not a switch you turn on or off.

No one is talking about going overboard here.
Everything within moderation.

The problem lies when men do it because they want attention and recognition for it.

Do it for anyone , not just the hawt chick.


If they scoff and balk and you being courteous, that is their problem for they lack self respect, class and manners.

And more people than not are like this, completeyl oblivious to what good manners even ARE.
Always think in terms of common courtesy and politeness, not trying to get recognition for it. So add no emotinal investment or attachment in that manner.

Nicely said.

I will add that showing that kind of respect and manners towards others/anyone will be noticed on the one you are trying to impress. Even later, you want to be that guy that mutual friends recommend to the girl.

There is no chumpage in good manners.

There is a saying that if you see how a man treats the waitress that is how he will treat you eventually. Also, if you take the time on a date to show good manners (holding a door) for another less attractive or older person then that will up your respect points by the lady you are with.

(now, if you show too many good manners for another hottie, or are too friendly with the waitress this may backfire.)

The car door test. Don't you guys know this one? You do 'impress' the girl by walking her the passenger door and unlock it for her. If she unlocks your door from the inside then it is a good sign that she likes you too.

Carry on.

 

[AlanB]

I act chivalrous if dealing with a lady, not just any old female.

That being said, finding ladies round here is about as fruitful as searching for rocking horse sh1t. So the only time I am particularly chivalrous is with ladies of the older generation.

 

[reset]

We need to get over the impressing ladies thing. If I show class and the woman responds, that would impress me.

 

[Interceptor]

The problem is that that there seems to be a misconception that we act graceful and courteous to only hawt chicks or something.

If this is true, then it is an ego mechanism , a way of putting these women on the pedastle.

Theres realy no way to tell with 100 percet accuracy if a person will receive your act of courtesy with appreciation.

See , heres the Ego dilemma..

..do you do it for your fellow man, because you, yourself , are a Man of High Character?

Or are you doing it to give an APPEARANCE of a refined gentleman, who in fact is tryring to score 'brownie points" and "look" cool?


Again, people act out of anxiety, exasperation, apprehension, ill temper and short patience becasue they are peoploe who cannot Self Manage,

They cannot manage their Well Being.

So they become RUDE

These rude people operate from the Scarcity principle and LACK

"Get outta my way, I gotta get mines , YO!!!"



Tyring to overtake you and out run you and be aggressive with you , in order to 'get theirs'.


With the over abundance of lack of self respect, morals, values, ethics, codes to live by, and the Lack of INTEGRITY and IMPECCABILTY to uphold those values....
....do you guys honestly want to perpetuate that?

"Well...no one else is doing it, so why should I bother??!!"


Are you seriously going to choose to be part of the , what I call, the "Zombie/checked out" crowd??

Or are you going to be a highly evolved and refined man?

Are you ultimately doing things to GET REACTIONS from people?

Or because it gives YOU gratification and satisfaction to actually HELP a fellow human being???


This is why it is important ot be self refelcting and truly look at your true motivations for doing things.

Youd be surprised at what you find there , hidden.

 

[reset]

So guys go from extreme chivalry (gifts, love poems, compliments) to impress the woman, get bitter, then go to anti-chivalry (being rude, deliberately not opening doors, etc).... to impress women.

AFC or deliberate jerk is the same--impress women. Inbetween is your real character. I just do to others what I'd prefer be done for me I suppose. I don't go out of my way for a guy, so I wouldn't with a woman. But I would still act with class. It's not about impressing it's about just being comfortable and enjoying the social world.

 

[Interceptor]

So guys go from extreme chivalry (gifts, love poems, compliments) to impress the woman, get bitter, then go to anti-chivalry (being rude, deliberately not opening doors, etc).... to impress women.

AFC or deliberate jerk is the same--impress women. Inbetween is your real character. I just do to others what I'd prefer be done for me I suppose. I don't go out of my way for a guy, so I wouldn't with a woman. But I would still act with class. It's not about impressing it's about just being comfortable and enjoying the social world.

 

[hondo928]

Sorry this is a really old post, but I think it's actually an extremely important subject, and the fact that most of you are saying Chivalry is bad, I think is wrong. Sure the extremes of giving her flowers every week, or something along that line is gonna make you a wuss, but when used properly most women really really appreciate it. Especially if they haven't been treated that way before.

1. Always open the door: for man or women its just common courtesy, nothing bothers me more than when I'm a foot behind someone and they don't even hold the door, I just watch them walk across the street and hope a bus comes at the same time.

2. When on a date I always open the car door, it shows that you care, and she isn't just some tool, every girl I have ever dated has thought "this is the way I should be treated" he's not just trying to get my pants off. In fact I think its suprseing how many guys don't do it. Now I wouldn't run around the car to get to it when she is getting out, most women can do this on their own, if they can't well she has a stick up her ***

3. Walk on the outside of the street, it's really easy to do, and if they know why you are doing it, its good.

4. Help the old lady off the curb, this includes your mom, your grandmom or and lady on a walker by herself. It's just the right thing to do, and shows your not only doing it for her, thus she isn't on the pedestal...Do not on the other hand run 50 yards just to help the lady off, you'll look fake.

5. Walk her to the door, I'm suprised this is even an issue, unless the date was awful.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_150/164b_dating_girl.html

This is a pretty good guide I think.

 

[assobsessed]

I think Chivalry is a bunch of crap. I refuse to do it and if a girl has a problem, she can kiss my ass and take a cab home. As far as I'm concerned if I'm driving or picking up the tab, I've done more than enough.

Seriously, it's obsolete and extremely superficial. Don't get me wrong, I have great manners and I'll hold a door for her or strangers but if any chick thinks I'm gonna walk around the car and open her door, she is sadly mistaken. Same with walking on the outside of the curve or pulling seats.

Bunch of crap. How come she doesn't come around and open my door?

I actually love the look on their face when I don't bother opening the car door for them, it's priceless. I remember one girl I was dating, very hot, former model...she said I was the only guy who didn't open her car door. I told her I won't do it and never have. I think if you with no hesitation speak up and act like you can care less, she will respect you even more. Needless to say, I ended up boinking that girl later that night.

 

[assobsessed]

Sorry this is a really old post, but I think it's actually an extremely important subject, and the fact that most of you are saying Chivalry is bad, I think is wrong. Sure the extremes of giving her flowers every week, or something along that line is gonna make you a wuss, but when used properly most women really really appreciate it. Especially if they haven't been treated that way before.


This is a pretty good guide I think.

Who cares if she appreciates it? Are you gonna carry her purse to because she thinks its nice..when is to far?

No offense but don't you guys who do this feel like a chump walking around the car to open a freakin door that is right in front of her?

 

[MaTuA]

Bump

 

[Vulpine]

Here's another thread about chivalry, and in it are more links.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=96379