Chicks that want to "confirm" a date

[Knight's Cross]

Definitely a sign of luke warm interest, but what's a way to deal with a chick that wants to confirm drink dates? Me, hit her up with,"Hey let's meet for a drink after work monday, 6 pm, at such and such place". Her, "That should work, lets confirm monday, have a great weekend!"
Now I've usually found this is a BS smokescreen. I'll play cool and contact her midday monday, but I'll bet 99% that she's going to pull a "can't do tonight" on me.
Thoughts for handling this? Haven't wandered into this territory lately. Every woman I've made plans with had High interest and showed up no questions asked.
KC

Field report addendum: Another chick and I made plans last saturday. We were supposed to meet for drinks wednesday at 7, trendy place. 7pm I'm at bar, no date. 7:15 rolls around, I text her,"you running late"? She texts back,"Well if you were respectful you should have confirmed plans last night, have a good time". Now that kind of BS is way over my line. I didn't respond and deleted her #. Only cost me a drink. Granted I didn't have to buy her one....

 

[squirrels]

I'm kind of on the fence about this. It really depends on how well you made an impression on her.

Some women don't require a confirmation...you made such an overwhelmingly positive impression on them that when they schedule that time for you, they WANT to spend it with you.

Then there are some girls that you meet that you sparked an interest, but you didn't necessarily "blow them away". However, they are willing to meet up with you again if they're in the mood to hang out with a guy. To them, though, you're still a "stranger", and depending on the kind of impression you made, their feelings may change at the last minute. Or something may come up with friends that is more important than meeting "some stranger".

Be careful about falling into the "she MUST respect me because I'm so awesome" trap. Now if you've been dating her for a while and you run into this often, then THAT may be a sign of a problem, but if you're a "new guy", cut her a little slack with the confirmation thing.

What I usually do when I get the "call me to confirm" crap is ask her if she thinks she might be busy and whether another day might work better. Depending on the response, I'll just go with it and have alternate plans on standby.

This is also why it's not a good idea to make dates via text message.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Thanks Squirrels,
That's kinda what I suspected. I'll give it a little slack, and play it. You're right I got the #, but I didn't get the idea that I'd blown her away.
KC

 

[john siegal]

You should have texted that smart arse chick back with this "IF you had any class...you would have texted by 12pm that wouldn't be able to make it. NUMBER DELETED! Ciao...!"

Definitely a sign of luke warm interest, but what's a way to deal with a chick that wants to confirm drink dates? Me, hit her up with,"Hey let's meet for a drink after work monday, 6 pm, at such and such place". Her, "That should work, lets confirm monday, have a great weekend!"
Now I've usually found this is a BS smokescreen. I'll play cool and contact her midday monday, but I'll bet 99% that she's going to pull a "can't do tonight" on me.
Thoughts for handling this? Haven't wandered into this territory lately. Every woman I've made plans with had High interest and showed up no questions asked.
KC

Field report addendum: Another chick and I made plans last saturday. We were supposed to meet for drinks wednesday at 7, trendy place. 7pm I'm at bar, no date. 7:15 rolls around, I text her,"you running late"? She texts back,"Well if you were respectful you should have confirmed plans last night, have a good time". Now that kind of BS is way over my line. I didn't respond and deleted her #. Only cost me a drink. Granted I didn't have to buy her one....

 

[Blackmm]

When she asks for a confirmation, she is basically waiting to see if she gets a better offer from some other dude before going out with you. If nothing better comes her way, Then she will be available.

If Megan Fox asked to see you this weekend, would you require her to call you to confirm if you are still available? Chances are you would slip out of your grandmothers funeral to hook up with that.

 

[MatureDJ]

I had a chick that would pull this one on me. So we made plans for a 2nd date on a Saturday night, I call, and she says she was going to a wedding (gee, she didn't know about it a few days earlier?) :trouble:

So I blew her off, and unexpectedly she called me and asked why I hadn't been calling her. (At least she was showing an IOI.) It went OK for the next month or so (nothing past 1st base), but I noticed that she seemed to flake every other time. I confronted her about it, didn't get the answer I was looking for, and blew her off again. Stupid me got back in touch with her a few weeks later :kick:, and then I left her city for about half a year. When I got back, she started with her BS again, so I gave her up for good.

The bottom line is that when chicks start this BS, it's usually not a good sign.

 

[john siegal]

When she asks for a confirmation, she is basically waiting to see if she gets a better offer from some other dude before going out with you. If nothing better comes her way, Then she will be available.

True...most likely she's waiting to see if another offer comes in...or wants to see if her period hits and then...cancel out.

A Girl with High Interest level will jump and say...."Ok Great....lets meet"

If Megan Fox asked to see you this weekend, would you require her to call you to confirm if you are still available? Chances are you would slip out of your grandmothers funeral to hook up with that.

..but the the truth of the matter is...most guys are regular dudes with regular jobs. We are not Movie Stars, or Mr.Excitement. Most of us work like slaves to make ends meet. Welcome to Reality.

Expecting a Chick to Swoon over you because you asked her out is just unrealistic.

You have to convince her that you are the Best thing goin since sliced bread....and this is not easy to do.

 

[Zunder]

What she said "Lets confirm Monday".

What she meant" "Lets confirm Monday because I met meet a tall, dark, handsome rich dude in the weekend, and us gold-diggers must always keep our options open".

 

[Zunder]

You know, a few months ago I would've behaved like a good little man and texted her at around lunchtime on Monday to "confirm" the date.

This is what I'd do now: N O T H I N G...leave it up to her. Afterall she said lets confirm Monday, that doesnt mean YOU have to confirm.

So unless this chick looks like Jessica Biel - then fvck her - let her text you first.

And if she doesn't - too bad, who gives a shyt - just another chick.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Definitely a sign of luke warm interest, but what's a way to deal with a chick that wants to confirm drink dates? Me, hit her up with,"Hey let's meet for a drink after work monday, 6 pm, at such and such place". Her, "That should work, lets confirm monday, have a great weekend!"
Now I've usually found this is a BS smokescreen. I'll play cool and contact her midday monday, but I'll bet 99% that she's going to pull a "can't do tonight" on me.
Thoughts for handling this? Haven't wandered into this territory lately. Every woman I've made plans with had High interest and showed up no questions asked.
KC

Field report addendum: Another chick and I made plans last saturday. We were supposed to meet for drinks wednesday at 7, trendy place. 7pm I'm at bar, no date. 7:15 rolls around, I text her,"you running late"? She texts back,"Well if you were respectful you should have confirmed plans last night, have a good time". Now that kind of BS is way over my line. I didn't respond and deleted her #. Only cost me a drink. Granted I didn't have to buy her one....

I'd warn everybody you know in common about the one who said, "You should've" done this and that. Even if she tries to get back at you for warning the other dudes in your social circle about her immaturity, by fvckin one of them or being real smoochy to one of them in front of you, at least you've gotten it out there that she's a liar. Eventually her true colors will be shown to the rest of the group, but you know as well as I know that grovelling spineless guys will side with women ALL the fvcking time, never (at least in front of her) believing the guy's honest to God truth about her. This happened to me last July with a highly materialistic (like $700 purses and sh!t) b!tch who flaked on me, and I told everyone in my social circle about how she's a liar. She played cover up and lied lied lied to them EVEN in front of my fvckin as5. I could tell that she didn't want to keep lying though because it definitely bothered her Having to lie in front of me that day. She wouldn't want to have to maintain that lie over and over. She knows that she wronged me, and by God, I think that she may be still suffering today because of that, cause I've fvcked some of her friends, and knows that I'd never fvck her cause of what she did to me that Friday or Saturday night by flaking on me.

Now, with regards to the confirmation, fvck yeah, confirm, but if she flakes before you go to meet her for drinks don't worry about it and say, "that's ok, I have other plans" to her. You can get with her later. BUT if she flakes on you while on your way (in your car) to have drinks with her, THEN by all means trash her name to your mutual friends. You know that she would to her friends if you did the same, and THEN some making up total bullsh!t that you did to them or whatever. Women gossip and lie like a motherfvcker...2 can play at that game, and of course, you're gonna have dudes who stick up for them. That just makes them less respectable in the women's eyes, because I'm still here. I'm still standing in the flesh. These suckups can take her side (Just cause she's a woman) all they want, but I'm still here, and I ain't going away, and over time, they look bad, and I stick to being as honest as I have always been.

 

[speed dawg]

I'd warn everybody you know in common about the one who said, "You should've" done this and that.

I'm with you here. I don't even give these broads the pleasure of seeing my d1ck. Somewhere along the lines those *****es developed that big sense of entitlement that never ends well for any man in their lives.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Zunder, I like your plan best. You're right, she did say,"lets confirm" So she's a big girl, she can contact me monday. If she does great, if not no big deal. Good looking chick, HB 8. I do see the possibility of Gold Digger, and her IL is so-so.
In regards to the other, I have to admit she did look like she could go 0 to Bit** in 5 seconds. I don't really know her social circle, and the best route was to just delete her # and ignore her. One of the 48 Laws of Power is to "Avoid the Infected" all they do is drag you down. Best not to even engage.

 

[Maxtro]

Wow, most guys here are so negative.

Did it occur to anybody that she wants to confirm the date because she doesn't want to get stood up?

 

[Knight's Cross]

Maxtro,
Most of the negativity is because there are 2 issues here, 1 about a chick that stood me up. The other about a low interest chick. Really when women are into you (or the idea of you) I've found you could setup a date a week out and they show, no questions asked. Flakiness happens by both men and women, but most guys pride themselves on some character. Where as with women it seems to be a loose trait until they are in a firm relationship.
KC

 

[Stagger Lee]

Wow, most guys here are so negative.

Did it occur to anybody that she wants to confirm the date because she doesn't want to get stood up?

If a chick is worried about being stood up as the scheduled date is nearing she takes the initiative and asks "are we still on..?" Only females who are trying to keep their options open and will likely flake place the condition, on the man mind you, of confirming the date. At least that's been my experience over and over. "Confirming" is her setting up her out from the get go.

I think if a woman ask to comfirm a date, that is the time to put your foot down. There's no purpose for it because its common sense that if a person absolutely can't make it to a date it is common courtesy to let the person know as soon as possible. I usually tell them when I make plans I follow through on my plans and I don't need to comfirm. It's the concept of setting your guidelines and expectations for the female early.

 

[Maxtro]

I still think she's worried about being stood up. By wanting to confirm the date, she wants to make sure he'll still want to do it.

I hope Knight's Cross posts what happens to him; if the date happens or she backs out.

 

[Zunder]

Wow, most guys here are so negative.

Did it occur to anybody that she wants to confirm the date because she doesn't want to get stood up?

No.

She's a grown woman. She either wants a date with him or she doesn't.

Whats there to think about? She must know now if she is going to be "busy" or not. Why not say "yes" and be done with it - this to me sounds almost like a "pre-flake" on her part.

Look at it like this: She should be thinking how lucky she is to get a date with knights cross. Not be fvcking saying: "lets confirm Monday". Its just a silly shyt thing to be doing to him. She's saying: "Look, I'm an HB 8, I've got options, I might get fvcked hard by this alpha dude that i've seen at the local club this past few weekends, then I will have my claws into him and don't really want to be wasting time with you Kinghtscross - so best confirm on Monday because you'll do if nothing exciting happens for me in the weekend".

I say he needs to get her off that pedestal immediately and the best way to do that is to let her "confirm" the date.
Then if he has some real balls KC should then say "Oh actually somethings come up, but I am free this Thursday".

Fvck her. He's the man, he sets the tone - but already this bird is telling him what to do by saing "confirm Monday".

fvck that.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Zunder and Stagger,
Dead on. I'm not going to call her, confirm, whatever. Will have my gym gear in the back of my truck, if I don't hear boo from her, I'll hit the weights. If she confirms I'll meet her, If she goes as far as saying she's busy, I'll let her toss a counter, if she doesn't counter and says she's not avail, I won't make any counters and will delete her #.

It's funny, but we've all got a gut, instinct, vibe that we get about situations. My gut told me this stuff all along. Instead of it just being a vibe I wish it was hooked to a bullhorn and shouted what to do in my ear.

Thanks Stagger and Zunder. Good Input.

KC

 

[kebman]

I like your approach, Zunder. Yours too, Stagger Lee. Yes, maintaining your self respect is the right way to go, (albeit I'm not so good at that myself, I guess).

Also, I like what Ijjjji (mASF) says about this topic, wich is basically "Never plan ahead!" Just call or text her one day, talk a little and decide to meet up then and there, or not. That way, you don't get disappointed, and actually seeing her is a bonus instead of being some stilted and socially awkward date-cheese. After all it's the social expectations and awkwardness of "The Date" that scares girls away. Heck, it should scare men away too. Also, doing it like that, you only actually get to date her if the conversation flows naturally and you are both actually into each other. This increases the chance of sex, and gets away with a lof of the social awkwardness related to dating.

There are also some ways of taking back the power a little while texting. It's very technical and it may not be for everyone, but if you look at products like No Flakes from Vin DiCarlo and his ilk, they heavily rely on advice about seeding the text with things like open loops.

Example of an open loop: "Hey, I just saw the most fantastic thing!" It's an open loop because you leave her wondering what that fantastic thing is. Swinggcat also writes about this, if I'm not mistaken.

Also their technique relies on assuming that the meet is happening, but then adding an extra small demand at the end, like "but you have to wear a black gown" to make her curious and buy into the meet.

I've tried it all, and it does work some of the time. However, the techniques does blur if she was interested in the first place, and would have shown up anyway.

I got a really good advice from a friend, though: "Forget about playing games. Stop counting who called last or how many times. Just don't leave the initiative with her. Call her. Texting is unreliable." It's very simple, but also seems to me to be very true.

If you have problems calling her, because you're affraid of running out of things to say and the sort, I have had great experiene with getting my mind out of analytic mode. It's quite simple. Just focus on something else that requires some concentration, like juggling a ball, solving crosswords, or anything that will get your mind out of "worry-mode" for a while, and then you call her. I find juggling great, because it requires all your senses to be in focus, and effectively stops all textually and socially analyzing brain activity cold.

 

[Poonani Maker]

She's a grown woman. She either wants a date with him or she doesn't.

There's no such thing as a grown woman anymore. We have to remember that almost All of women you want to go out with have options being flung at them day in and day out. If you want to be able to tap that, you'd better be pliable like Bruce Lee's water in this day and age of the cellphone and social networking. Personally, I'd confirm. If she flakes, she flakes. If she doesn't answer, then who cares? If she answers on Monday when he tries to confirm, Then if she flakes, he can say, "That's ok, I'd forgotten about our plans too and made other plans on accident too." and Really DO have other plans. Just blow her off too. It's gotten to the point now that I'll flake women about 30% as often as they flake me, it's come down to that. I set up plans with other women on the same day, and go with the one whoever I feel has the best attitude over the phone or through messages. The other one I'll give notice saying, "Sorry, I can't make it" and they'll almost always be "ok" with my cancelling our date, because SHE has definitely got my replacement (as we all know about women's options), and SHE most likely doesn't want my sex as much as I want hers (as we all know women's less desire to have sex, they just want attention and our money). So I say confirm, because, she'll love your displaying your set of options and coolness of withdrawing from the date gracefully as well. Now, if she cancels on your as5 while on the way to the date, then by all means flame the sh!t out of her, and be and mean and nasty as you wanna be to her to other people to her in person, whatever.