Chicks that don’t text

[Barrister]

Went out last night on a 1st date with a HB 7.5. Very much my type unlike the last couple. Met about halfway for each of us at a bar and had a few drinks. I escalated the entire time and we made out at the bar a bit. She told me she wasn’t ready to go home yet and wouldn’t mind going somewhere else (bar closed fairly early due to Covid restrictions). We drove to a nearby casino where we made out in the parking lot in my car and did some heavy “petting.” I told her we could just stay at the hotel with a grin and she smiled and said “she doesn’t do that on 1st dates.” Went into the casino and gambled a bit then I drove her back to her car where we made out and did more touching. She told me I am a good kisser. She said she would like to see me again - and normally I wouldn’t ask out again on the date but this seemed like a pretty good opening so I asked her what she was doing Tuesday and she agreed to meet me near my apartment.

Everything was great on date in my view — however she has not texted at all since last night other than a simple “she got home” which I said “good” with an additional light hearted C&F from a convo we had earlier in the night. She since then hasn’t said anything.

I’m not going to reach out again until maybe tomorrow to confirm plans for Tuesday (literally only free day I have this entire week). I know I’m about to get the abundance talk because I shouldn’t care this much about chick I just met. This is the first one since my breakup 2 months ago I can say is definitely my type.

My experience usually is chicks who had a great 1st date typically reach out the next
Day with some texting. If she doesn’t reach out bad sign? I’m not going to text her at all today and see what happens.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I kinda hate these type of situations myself. I had one with a woman a few weeks ago who kept talking during the date about how its good I like dogs because when I am over there she has some and how next date we will can try something else we talked about etc...

She texts me afterwards how she had lots of fun that date and how she will practice for our thumb war rematch(chicks love this type of thing btw) and then she completely went ghost.

No idea what that's about but whatever. It's like they get home analyze things and think that it would never work because of X, Y or Z and then decide to go in a different direction.

Definitely send the text but don't be surprised if she either ghosts or gives some I didn't feel a spark response.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

She texts. Maybe not you but I assure you she texts. Stick to the script. I lead. She follows or #next

 

[Barrister]

I kinda hate these type of situations myself. I had one with a woman a few weeks ago who kept talking during the date about how its good I like dogs because when I am over there she has some and how next date we will can try something else we talked about etc...

She texts me afterwards how she had lots of fun that date and how she will practice for our thumb war rematch(chicks love this type of thing btw) and then she completely went ghost.

No idea what that's about but whatever. It's like they get home analyze things and think that it would never work because of X, Y or Z and then decide to go in a different direction.

Definitely send the text but don't be surprised if she either ghosts or gives some I didn't feel a spark response.

Yeah - she initiated hand holding while we were at the casino and was putting her hand under my shirt while we played some of the games. Seemed like she was pretty into things. I feel like I could sabotage it by reaching out and appearing too eager with things today but the whole thing seems perplexing. And I know I shouldn’t care in the end.

I’ll reach out tomorrow to confirm for Tuesday but will plan on laying low until then.

 

[Gstring]

@Barrister Your date has energy level to it, on intensity from least to most. So let's say you had the most intensive experience in your car, then you went to casino, and intensity level dropped. From girl's perspective, the entire date was this -- he tried to bed me and then send me sms saying he was mad it didn't happen.

Let's put things into perspective here. You had bad date logistics and absolutely no escalation plan. Date should be either near your place or near her place. Car is a good place to isolate and escalate, you did good. But then you mess things up by a) suggesting a hotel, which is like turning her slut defense on, why not do it right there in the car? b) deisolating and deescalating by going to casino. Now, put yourself into girl's shoes. 2nd date, why should she give you? There must be a good reason. There just isn't one.

It is a bad idea to sms and confirm. Because most likely it would be a no, and because it will confirm your thirstiness to her - not only will it be a no, a no will be complete loss of power on your part, a reschedule all it takes for you to loose it. Best course of action here, is to wait. She is expecting you to get in touch with you by Tuesday, or if not by Tuesday, then by the end of the week. She has power, you do not. Not only she has power, she has options, you do not. So why should she give her vag to a man who has no power and options? D*****k? I bet she has plenty of d****k. You calling her? Every man would call her, women know about this wait 4 - 5 days thing it's old, why act like every other men?

Wait and call a week after, not by this upcoming friday, the friday the following week, literally call her next month, in march. She is not going to disappear or change her mind. She made up her mind the first 2 minutes you met her, and after than all you were doing it chatting her out of this idea f*****king you. Relax and don't worry. Surprise her by not doing a thing, just yet.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Went out last night on a 1st date with a HB 7.5. Very much my type unlike the last couple. Met about halfway for each of us at a bar and had a few drinks. I escalated the entire time and we made out at the bar a bit. She told me she wasn’t ready to go home yet and wouldn’t mind going somewhere else (bar closed fairly early due to Covid restrictions). We drove to a nearby casino where we made out in the parking lot in my car and did some heavy “petting.” I told her we could just stay at the hotel with a grin and she smiled and said “she doesn’t do that on 1st dates.” Went into the casino and gambled a bit then I drove her back to her car where we made out and did more touching. She told me I am a good kisser. She said she would like to see me again - and normally I wouldn’t ask out again on the date but this seemed like a pretty good opening so I asked her what she was doing Tuesday and she agreed to meet me near my apartment.

Everything was great on date in my view — however she has not texted at all since last night other than a simple “she got home” which I said “good” with an additional light hearted C&F from a convo we had earlier in the night. She since then hasn’t said anything.

I’m not going to reach out again until maybe tomorrow to confirm plans for Tuesday (literally only free day I have this entire week). I know I’m about to get the abundance talk because I shouldn’t care this much about chick I just met. This is the first one since my breakup 2 months ago I can say is definitely my type.

My experience usually is chicks who had a great 1st date typically reach out the next
Day with some texting. If she doesn’t reach out bad sign? I’m not going to text her at all today and see what happens.

With almost 100% accuracy, I can say that chicks who text after a date are serious about finding a decent guy and are likely interested in realtionship or LTR. It's also good manners and etiquette especially if you paid or treated on the date.

If my gut says the date went well, which is quite accurate, and she *doesn't* reach out, it's likely she's dating 4 other guys, ungrateful, has a bf already, or is never happy with anything or anybody and always looking for the upgrade. None of these are worth pursuing unless your goal is a lay, FB, or ONS. If I really felt a connection and she's hot, in rare cases I may message her 3-4 days later with a date idea and see if she accepts. Anything but a yes is a no and I move on, and you should too.

I would agree with @stringpuller, during the date never show too much enthusiasm, ask her out again, or try to plan a second date before the first one is over. Let her wonder a bit. Women *love* mystery and men who aren't over-eager.

Good luck.

 

[Glassguy]

I wouldn't text her to "confirm". I would text her to wear something specific or do her hair a certain way. Even if its "Hey.....see you tonight at 8. Fix your hair the same way it was last Saturday night."

Im not a constant texter. I don't like women who blow my phone up 24/7 right off the bat because it looks clingy and needy.
Either she shows up for the next date or she doesn't. Although her reaching out does measure her interest level, the bottom line is you asked her out again and its her job to show up and have fun.

The last thing you should do in this situation is blow her phone up.

 

[Velasco]

I escalated the entire time and we made out at the bar a bit.

9:25 - 11:05

 

[Glassguy]

always looking for the upgrade.

This happens a lot. Hell I do it all the time. Did I have fun on the date? Yes. Did we make out or even smash? Yes. But if I have 3 more dates set up that week, I'm gonna see what's behind doors 1-3 before I give her more attention and text.
Its today's dating world.

 

[darksprezzatura]

She texts first is my iron rule on that

Definitely makes a lot of sense. Though I'd say I'd lead with my plan after she

-reinitiates
-shows enthusiasm/interest


She doesn't necessarily have to plan the date or even ask for one directly, it'll be implied.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

she might be gauging how desperate, clingy or insecure you are. Do you blow up her phone simping for the next date or are you cool and chill about seeing her again. Or maybe she backed off to gauge your level of interest in her?
Confirm the date later in the week and leave any other initiating to her.
I think had your text game been tight before this date she'd of probably been comfortable enough to have sex with you that night but feels she needs to get to know you more now before that.
Good example of the problem with only using the phone for setting dates.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop texting. The sooner you commit to this mentality the less you’ll worry about it.

I don’t text. I can’t stand it. I break women of their texting habit towards me. They can pick up the phone and call, otherwise I’ll see them on the next date. They’ll get a call from me for the next date in 5-9 days.

 

[Barrister]

With almost 100% accuracy, I can say that chicks who text after a date are serious about finding a decent guy and are likely interested in realtionship or LTR. It's also good manners and etiquette especially if you paid or treated on the date.

If my gut says the date went well, which is quite accurate, and she *doesn't* reach out, it's likely she's dating 4 other guys, ungrateful, has a bf already, or is never happy with anything or anybody and always looking for the upgrade. None of these are worth pursuing unless your goal is a lay, FB, or ONS. If I really felt a connection and she's hot, in rare cases I may message her 3-4 days later with a date idea and see if she accepts. Anything but a yes is a no and I move on, and you should too.

I would agree with @stringpuller, during the date never show too much enthusiasm, ask her out again, or try to plan a second date before the first one is over. Let her wonder a bit. Women *love* mystery and men who aren't over-eager.

Good luck.

So I did fu*k up by following up with her saying she wanted to see me again by asking her out for Tuesday during the date. I shouldn't have done that and knew it even when I asked last night. However, since she did say yes during the date to that but has been silent now today - do I just sit back and wait to say something tomorrow about the date as @Glassguy suggests with a comment about what she will wear etc.? My gut definitely said the date went well -- which I think I generally have a good feel for. Hence why I find the radio silence a little off today. I would guess you're probably right that she is seeing a multitude of other guys and probably is juggling everyone.

 

[Barrister]

I wouldn't text her to "confirm". I would text her to wear something specific or do her hair a certain way. Even if its "Hey.....see you tonight at 8. Fix your hair the same way it was last Saturday night."

Im not a constant texter. I don't like women who blow my phone up 24/7 right off the bat because it looks clingy and needy.
Either she shows up for the next date or she doesn't. Although her reaching out does measure her interest level, the bottom line is you asked her out again and its her job to show up and have fun.

The last thing you should do in this situation is blow her phone up.

Do you suggest waiting until Tuesday to say something at this juncture? We technically have not ironed out the specifics as far as time to meet etc. The place we will meet at is literally right next to where I live though.

My gut tells me I need to hold back and not text -- it is hard though because I am in a bad spot post LTR with only sub-par options. This chick is the first one I have felt into.

 

[Barrister]

she might be gauging how desperate, clingy or insecure you are. Do you blow up her phone simping for the next date or are you cool and chill about seeing her again. Or maybe she backed off to gauge your level of interest in her?
Confirm the date later in the week and leave any other initiating to her.
I think had your text game been tight before this date she'd of probably been comfortable enough to have sex with you that night but feels she needs to get to know you more now before that.
Good example of the problem with only using the phone for setting dates.

We met off of Hinge. We exchanged like 2-3 messages of BS and then I asked her out and she agreed and we met up last night. So there was almost zero rapport building beforehand with this. Chemistry on date was very good though.

 

[Barrister]

Stop texting. The sooner you commit to this mentality the less you’ll worry about it.

I don’t text. I can’t stand it. I break women of their texting habit towards me. They can pick up the phone and call, otherwise I’ll see them on the next date. They’ll get a call from me for the next date in 5-9 days.

My only issue with this is, and yes I should not have asked during the date, since I asked her out Tuesday and she agreed I can't really wait 5-9 days with nothing before reaching out now. At same time I will have to touch base I would say at some point either tomorrow or Tuesday prior to the date with the specific time for her to come down.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My only issue with this is, and yes I should not have asked during the date, since I asked her out Tuesday and she agreed I can't really wait 5-9 days with nothing before reaching out now. At same time I will have to touch base I would say at some point either tomorrow or Tuesday prior to the date with the specific time for her to come down.

Touch base immediately. When you set a date, all plans should be ironed out right there. Nothing should be left up in the air. Date, time, location, if it involves food, and how she should dress. Get it all out of the way to kill this back and forth days long text chains.

Not being able to wait up 5-9 days is a limiting belief. If she wants to hear from you sooner she can pick up the phone and hit you up.

 

[aloofgoof]

To echo the others, in my experience, at least with women on OLD, no text from her or delayed responses texting after dates means you’re not their priority/their perceived best option. If you get them out on dates 2 and 3, and they don’t pick up the initiating or response times, it is what it is. It’s an over generalization, not all women are glued to their phones, but the interested women always text me and initiate texts and the ones where I’m a “maybe” guy don’t.

I really don’t believe 95% of interested women play games. If you feel like something is off, or they’re not initiating or making it easy for you, you’re just not a priority. Don’t take it personally.

And as far as reaching out after making plans, consider it by reversing roles. You’re interested. Did you forget the date?

 

[Barrister]

UPDATE: So I took @EyeBRollin advice and texted her to meet at 7:30 on Tuesday so there are no loose ends. She immediately responded and said that "that sounds great and I can't wait". I guess she was waiting on me to text. Oh well.

 

[deadmasterx]

I escalated the entire time and we made out at the bar a bit. She told me she wasn’t ready to go home yet and wouldn’t mind going somewhere else (bar closed fairly early due to Covid restrictions).

It's great that you have the balls to do that, but I have the feeling that you did "too much". The best option, especially on first dates, it to kiss, tease, back up. Eventually, she's gonna come closer, be way more inviting, even starting kissing you too. The idea is give her a bit, back off, watch her coming to you. Remember, a girl that's chasing you can't dump you.

We drove to a nearby casino where we made out in the parking lot in my car and did some heavy “petting.” I told her we could just stay at the hotel with a grin and she smiled and said “she doesn’t do that on 1st dates.”

For me it sounds like a test. But, once again, if you kept on doing it and backing off a bit, she'd be so wet that she wouldn't be testing you this way probably. She felt you pursuing a bit more, giving youself a bit too much, tested, and apparently you failed on it. It's not that you should have ignored and just got inside her house, but just look to her eyes, give her a smile and then kiss a little bit more on her neck, slowly, and then back off with the kisses, maybe just feeling her scent on her neck, not touching too much.

She said she would like to see me again - and normally I wouldn’t ask out again on the date but this seemed like a pretty good opening so I asked her what she was doing Tuesday and she agreed to meet me near my apartment.

It's great that she did, but when you set up another date while you're still in a date it sounds like neediness. It sounds like "I got nothing else going on in my life, so my schedule is completely open for you". Whenever it happens, it's better to give a "Yeah, we can make it happen" kind of answet, that isn't you setting a date, but letting her know that you like the idea.

My experience usually is chicks who had a great 1st date typically reach out the next
Day with some texting. If she doesn’t reach out bad sign? I’m not going to text her at all today and see what happens.

Yes, it can happen. But also, since you failed some of her tests, she may be testing you to see if you're not going to approach her first. Let it be for a week (if she doesn't reach out to you in this meantime). If one week passes and you don't hear from her, go talk to her, don't talk for more than 15, and set up another date.

Don't focus too much on your cellphone. Keep in mind that most girls will only start really pursuing, texting and calling you one or more time per day when she's already really liking you. It can happen in the end of the second month or the third month that you're dating her. The more she reaches out to you, the more dates you'll set. To begin with, set one date per week in the first month (AT MAX), and then slowly increase this number as you're feeling she's more and more into you.