Chicklogic WTF its killing me

[ApparentlyFromMars]

Ok Ive been seeing this girl now for a while (NOT EXCLUSIVLY!). You might remember me talking about her earlier, the girl that had to friggin test my emotional response by kissing another dude. Now I still see her alot because she is good company, good kisser, great in bed and all (Im not telling er about my other lays or anything though)...

She used to whine alot about me being detached and not showing how I feel or that I feel anything towards her (This girl came out of a LTR and went straight for me blahblah)... Anywas Im very apathic by nature.. But ok Ive "loosened" up a little and showed her somewhat that I care...

Now she still says she doesnt know what she wants and all that crap and that she wants to have fun and all that crap blahblah.

Now comes the fun parts: Its easter vacation and shes SMSing/phoning me every single day just to "chat", tell me she misses me some etc blahblah.
Shell send SMS in the evening about just idiotic stuff etc and that shes bored etc and Ill send some funny or sometimes I say "it would be kozy if you were here sharing this blanket with me" etc and shell be all "yes id really like that..."
Now she phoned me last talking about how boring it was being home and that the party she had been to wasnt any fun because everyone were a couple and "she wanted a bf tooo!!" (Which she one day clear says she isnt ready for)..

And today I was joking with her about

"Maybe we should dress out like a priest and a nun then go out and when we come back play adam and eve!"

and she responds "DREAM ON!"

and I responded "Ok maybe you just be the girl I like and Ill be me instead!"

then she responds with "Maybe then... But dont expect anything. You know I just want to have fun and Im not looking for anything serious... I dont want you thinking about me!"

then I responded jokingly "Woha who said anything about expectations angel. Im having alot of fun right now myself, maybe not throwing myself at guys like you but still alot of fun Of course I need to think about you, youre so strange it makes me have something todo!"

Then she responds "Im very calm and good I hope you are too.. I just dont want to hurt you" (Loosely translated, aint a good english word for it. As in she isnt fooling around with other guys which I really dont care about and Im her second guy ever to have sex with etc soo...)

Now I dont see her logic in all this... One day she phones me saying she suddenly wants a bf too (when she came home from party... She had left me several msgs and phoned me that evening . We were both out partying. She even left a "Please call me when its quiet around you!!" etc).
But normally she doesnt want anything serious according to her and she wants to have fun! Which is strange because she does NOT sleep around she only sleeps with someone if it means something (Like her first lay = BF for 3-4 years and now me).
She wants to see me like daily and whenever I see her she hugs me all the time, kisses me, wants to lay next to me and hold me and ****.
She doesnt want me to go out and fool around or have sex with other women even though she says its none of her business and that we arent exclusive or serious or anything but its VERY CLEAR in everything she says that she wants me not too..
She still keeps telling me im too detached and emotionally inept/apathic but at the same time she "doesnt want to hurt me" ?

Ok someone just disect this damn ***** for me, and no nexting will happen. Wheter or not this goes on good, goes on, or ends is irrelevant shell either be a good friend, a gf, or someone i have special sex with. I might aswell enjoy her company while having fun with other girls. I just wish she would put out more and not be all "Im not sure if its right" and I wish I understood her damn logic.

This is like with that damn stripper, I NEED A LOGICAL EXPLANATION...

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

Bump!

 

[RabidDog]

Im in the exact same situation, both our women are nutjobs. I plan to use mine for p[_]ssy and not get attached. I wish she was bad in bed, but alas, shes a beast. They dont know what they want, bottom line. What age is she 2--23 or younger I'll guess.

 

[Grey Fox]

You don't need to translate her words, thats where a lot of guys get hung up. You need to see look at her actions, she can lie with the words that come from her mouth, but not the language she speaks with her actions and body.
She wants to play a game with you, the name of the game is how long it takes to break you down back to an AFC. She may not call it AFC, but thats what she is shooting for. Think about it, when you want something solid, like a relationship she backs away. When you want to walk away, she comes running and gets unhappy when you want to fool around with other women. Even though your sex life is none of her business, she seems to be making it hers.
Look you said "she ain't ready for a BF," and that means she isn't stable enough for anyone even you. Yeah congrats you two had sex, but sex means nothing in this day and age unless there is something behind it. The only thing behind this girl is a chemical imbalance and annoying contradictions, if she loved you she wouldn't play games like this. You can be her friend just not her boyfriend. Though if she keeps messing with your head you should just punt the whole thing and call it a day.

-Grey Fox

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Yes I agree but it doesnt seem like he is getting played because he is aware of what she is doing and not falling for it, he just has issues understanding her. I have no doubt though that she has feelings for him after reading the previous posts too.

 

[coldcoal]

There is no logic or scheme. She wants everything. She wants to be single when it's fun to be single and involved when the involved are around her.

She has the best of both worlds right now. She has the lack of responsibility outside of a relationship, but has you to run to when everything doesn't feel honky-dorey in the fast lane.

The way to stop this is to stop being there every time her heart changes with her moods.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

She doesn't want to get involved in another relationship because the first one she lost her virginity to went sour after 3/4 years and he or she got hurt bad....so she doesn't want to repeat this pain so she keeps herself unattached and encourages you to do the same. I think you are in a great position...no pitfalls...just don't talk about it to much with her and quit txt messaging or e-mail or talking on the phone!! Only see her in person, so you don't waste your time babbling.

 

[ApparentlyFromMars]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
She doesn't want to get involved in another relationship because the first one she lost her virginity to went sour after 3/4 years and he or she got hurt bad

Which is very obvious, especially since he cheated on her multiple times... (She is 20 btw).

....so she doesn't want to repeat this pain so she keeps herself unattached and encourages you to do the same.

This is both yes and no on both parts... She does try to keep unattached but its visible she is NOT. By her actions and words it is evident that she atleast have some feelings and it is also evident sometimes that she wants me to have those too.

I think you are in a great position...no pitfalls...just don't talk about it to much with her and quit txt messaging or e-mail or talking on the phone!! Only see her in person, so you don't waste your time babbling.

Ye I could just overlook her txtmsgs and phonecalls...

My problem is really if I should show more or less emotions because she complains alot and even says that "Maybe that is the reason for her pulling back sometimes" that I dont show her that I care and like her... But at the same time maybe if I do show her more emotions and stuff itll backfire... Argh this is insane.

 

[crack_her]

Ah yes, the 20 yr. old. I've had experience with a few of these. Those chicks are walking contradictions.

This is like with that damn stripper, I NEED A LOGICAL EXPLANATION...

Don't expect to get one. It's not that she's playing you or anything like that. It's just because she's 20. At this age they are REALLY sensitive about "how they feel". If you show too much interest, she'll back off and if you don't, she'll pursue. But one things for sure - she'll always keep you at arms length. Since you are the apathetic type, you have an advantage. Don't open up to her with your emotions. They say they want you to express your feelings more but that's not WHAT THEY WANT and that's what's keeping her interested. THE MYSTERY. Trust me on this - I've blundered here before. She'll withdraw from you, if you start opening up. Only do so in a bf/gf relationship. Kick back and relax - you're doing fine.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Dont think you can paint it all black and white though because Ive fvcked up atleast two potential good relationships in the early stage by being too apathic and not showing my feelings.. Both ended up in LTRs a month later with guys that shoved their emotions.

 

[crack_her]

Dont think you can paint it all black and white though because Ive fvcked up atleast two potential good relationships in the early stage by being too apathic and not showing my feelings.. Both ended up in LTRs a month later with guys that shoved their emotions.

Ok, so throw her a bone once in a while. But for the most part, keep the mystery going. Can you do that?

 

[coldcoal]

She is the mystery. He's the one asking for the answers.

Most women in these "I don't want to be hurt again" positions usually decide to take it all much slower with the next guy they get involved with, rather than literally flip flopping on the "exclusive" issue, jumping into bed with you, going around kissing other guys...They are often instead the "mushy" ones. The idea of two of you NOT clearly becoming exclusive is thier red flag. The last question you would need to ask is if you should show MORE emotions. With these types of women, it's not sometimes, it's always.
They'll nag you right out of your manhood to be more emotioal, if you let them.

This girl doesn't sound this way to me at all. It sounds like she just doesn't know what the hell she wants, and you're trying to give it to her. Why?