Chick using me for sex? How do I fix this...

[gimmeyofonenumba]

We've been seeing each other for a few months now. She's very close with her ex bf. so I know she still has feelings for him. I have to initiate any kind of affection. It hit me today, that the only time she initiates kissing/affection is when she wants sex. It's like she has me around for friends with benifits, and is able to close off her emotions. Every other girl I've dated will be loving, do things, make dinner,etc. How can I get her?

 

[Jaylan]

You dont. Her being close with her ex sounds like a big red flag to me and like she cant emotionally attach to someone else from what you are telling me.

Thats why I make it a point not to date girls who have exes in their lives.

Sometimes I may give them a thought if the ex is just an acquaintance. But if they are still buddies. Hell no

 

[Szyzzlin]

Keep nailing her. perfect situation

 

[thevilittletroll]

dont fall in love with this chick. as long as you are having sex with her on a regular basis whats the problem? if she says she doesnt want a relationship, you cant force it. if you pressure her in any way, the sex will stop. keep your options open in case she does get back with her ex. let her know about other girls your interested in, but dont make it sound like your bragging. if she gets jealous she will be more affectionate, but it still probably wont change her feelings toward her ex.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

lol I was just thinking that a girl would act insecure and all if she thought a guy was still close to his ex gf. That would be like turning the tables on the OP's situation.

If you want her to do things for you, just ask her. That's where you start. If she says yes, I don't think you have a problem anymore. If she says no, then you can decide what to do next.

BTW...almost everyone has one or more exes...if they're still close to them, what does that show about how they can end a relationship? it's probably a good thing.

 

[Htienvu]

Don't see a problem here, keep her a a fb, perfect situation. Pursue other girls for gf, keep this one on the side.

 

[bukowski_merit]

We've been seeing each other for a few months now.

Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? Has it ever been verbalized in that way? Maybe she doesn't see you as her boyfriend.

She's very close with her ex bf. so I know she still has feelings for him.

what were the terms of their breakup?

I have to initiate any kind of affection.

If she has a low sex drive - this is normal. If she has a high sex drive - this is a sign she isn't that into you and you're more or less a fill in until she can get her ex back or find something better.

So, You should be treating the relationship in the same way.... Enjoy her; have fun with her; fvck her.... Do all of those while keeping your feelings in check (something that i can tell you're already doing a bad job of).

It hit me today, that the only time she initiates kissing/affection is when she wants sex.

I'm sorry.... Why is this bad?

It's like she has me around for friends with benifits,

It's like she has you around for whatever she wants, because she's leading and making YOU worry about HER. Nothing good can come out of this for you. So... Stop worrying.... Adapt the mindset that she's just a fvck toy to you, and enjoy it while it lasts.

You want to make her more interested? Start talking to other women, and let her figure out you're talking to other women. <- Easiest way in the world to make a low interest woman 10X's more interested in you.

and is able to close off her emotions.

Never give a woman more than you want her to leave with.

You are giving her (what seems to be) your emotional investment. She is not giving you the same. What is wrong with this picture?

How much does she enjoy the sex?

Every other girl I've dated will be loving, do things, make dinner,etc. How can I get her?

You can put her to do things for you easily.... Just put her to do things for you! Say, "go to the kitchen and make me dinner" (not in that way, but you get the idea)...

If she doesn't show much interest in doing things for you, even after you ask her to - there isn't much left to see here. It's a good gauge of interest.

----

I can tell you the #1 thing NOT to do:

DO NOT TRY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT ANY OF THIS STUFF! You will come out confused, manipulated, and possibly down one less woman to fvck.

A man telling a woman, "look, you do not show me any affection unless you want $ex" is a man handing his balls to that woman and saying, "i don't deserve these; they'll look better in your pants".

 

[5string]

Don't try to fix what ain't broke.

 

[thedude4242]

this guy is complaining about what we all are here for.

 

[scrouds]

Easy fix:

Hit it hard and really fast. Make sure you cùm before she's even close. Eventually she'll stop using you for sex.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Easy fix:

Hit it hard and really fast. Make sure you cùm before she's even close. Eventually she'll stop using you for sex.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

Next time I am in this situation, I'm doing this ! :crackup:

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Merit, the sex is great. Im looking for a chick im attracted to first. Then one Id like to have in a relationship. I've found it, but with her ex in the picture, this just work. Im thinking my best move is to keep banging her, make her jealous,not get emotionally wrapped up in her, and keep pursuing other women. When her 6th get together/vbreakup with her ex occurs,i'll reconsider.

 

[pdx1138]

if the sex is great and you don't mind that she's getting ****ed by another, by all means keep going.

I had a situation like that for well over a year....eventually the sex got boring and I moved on.