Chick thinks well paid programmers are "boring"

[MatureDJ]

http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/05/23/amazon-killing-my-sex-life

He estimated that in the 25–44 age group, Seattle “has 119 single men for every 100 single women, slightly better than San Francisco at 121

<snip>

as Amazon grows, the number of (boring) men grows too

<snip>

“I’ve lived in Seattle for seven years, single most of them,” Annie Pardo, a 31-year-old freelance event and communications consultant in Seattle, wrote in an email. “The only thing that has changed is the increase in men I’d never want to go out on a date with.” She added, “Can’t believe they actually strap on those new employee book bags.”

<snip>

The exact same scenario has been playing out in San Francisco for the last few years. One woman, Violet, a 33-year-old who has lived in the Bay Area for eight years, with one of those in the “belly of the beast,” Palo Alto, experienced many of the same things I and other women did. They had money, but they were boring.

<snip>

Carla Swiryn, a matchmatcher for Three Day Rule, a start-up that offers curated online dating services in cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, said that her female clients are often hit with a double whammy: “I often hear women say they either date A-holes or nerds—or if they’re really lucky, both in one,” she said. “They feel like they’re dealing with someone who has poor social skills, not a lot of style, and isn’t that attractive, or is decently good-looking, successful, or cool, but by default knows it and acts like it, with a huge ego and selfish mind-set in tow.”

<snip>

The type of person who is attracted to these jobs and thus to the Seattle area seems to be a socially awkward, emotionally stunted, sheltered, strangely entitled, and/or a misogynistic individual.

Here's an interesting posting about her article:

http://www.antifeministtech.info/2014/06/may-2014-entitlement-princess-of-the-month/

 

[MtnMan]

sorry post wall b!tches....your choices are:

a) get banged out and dumped by alpha arseholes
b) beta nerds who won't make you tingle, but will be willing to date your dried up old @ss

Sounds to me like a man with decent game could clean up in Seattle if wall-age women is your thing.

 

[apprenticedj]

If you show up to a date and spend 50% of the time talking about your job (especially if it's in tech or accounting etc) you should expect to bore someone. Work sucks, talk about something else.

I hate the entitlement that women display but dammit I can't blame them. They don't want a cookie cutter, bland, generic dude. They want excitement and something different. Beta, weak nice guys regardless how robust their beards may be are not known for getting the panties wet. Sad fact of life.

 

[backbreaker]

AS a programmer myself I take offense to that. But when I was dating I never went out of my way to talk about my job that's bad tact.

If you actually read the article itself you'd side with the woman. No one wants to hear about your job especially when they can't relate to it.


I might be a programmer but I'm anything but boring. That I'm not. I can talk to people.


I despise STEM guys more than anything. They aren't as smart as they think they are most of them have zero interpersonal skills.

 

[Tictac]

Good thing there's more than one chick.

Ignore crap like this harridan writes.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

AS a programmer myself I take offense to that. But when I was dating I never went out of my way to talk about my job that's bad tact.

If you actually read the article itself you'd side with the woman. No one wants to hear about your job especially when they can't relate to it.


I might be a programmer but I'm anything but boring. That I'm not. I can talk to people.


I despise STEM guys more than anything. They aren't as smart as they think they are most of them have zero interpersonal skills.

Being in the tech field myself I have to agree with you. One of my biggest peeves when interacting with other professionals is the inevitable discussions that result from working together about what you do in your free time. So many people these days seem to want to hang out with you after work. I guess I'm from the old school of never mixing that sh!t up. My work buddies stay right where they are: work. Hell I really never even have drinks with these guys. I want to spend time with my friends that I have outside of work.

Maybe these people have no friends outside of work? I don't know.

What makes it worse is, even if you're nice to them and decide to go have a drink or two, the conversation is like 95% of the time griping about some office politics, some latest tech conversation, whatever. I've deduced there are two main reasons for this: 1) they can't or don't know how to talk about anything else and, 2) they're trying to talk about something commonly known amongst everyone in attendance.

Some people need to work on getting a life outside of the office.

 

[FairShake]

I know guys in IT and programming.

Generally...she's right.

They ARE kind of boring. Very inside the box, buttoned down, and conservative. Not open minded. Not in search of new experiences. Not willing to get goofy, sexy, dangerous, or any of the other things chicks dig. Of course we all NEED that aspect to our personalities. Serious people get things done.

But a fun guy (and know this, fun guy over bad boy for most girls ALL DAY) knows when and where to leave that sh!t.

 

[zekko]

What makes it worse is, even if you're nice to them and decide to go have a drink or two, the conversation is like 95% of the time griping about some office politics, some latest tech conversation, whatever.

I pretty much refuse to think or talk about work when I'm not on the job. I figure I have plenty of time to do that while I'm there.

 

[VladPatton]

Avoid talking shop when dating a new chick. Start other conversations that'll light a fire in her, such as "so, has anyone ever made you squirt??".

She'll forget about programming like an amnesiac on an LSD trip.

 

[backbreaker]

That's the thing; they can't. STEM type... and i'm not knocking smart dudes, I'm a programmer and I'm smart, but I don't relate to these type of people who talk shop 100%. Beucase they have nothing else to talk about, they can't relate to anything else. So instead of going to get live experiences, they just double down on the tech talk to try to make themselves feel superior


one of my wife's girlfriend's boyfriends is liek that. Every time he comes around he wants to talk about programming / compute r**** and i'm like dude, shut the **** up lol. That's what I do 10-12 hours a day. But you know what? I have a son too. I love horse racing. I like jazz. I like the gym. Let's talk about new tricep exercises lol. Let's talk about the new Kat Edmonson CD that I downloaded the ohter day. Let's talk about the NBA draft.

When I'm kicking it, when I"m on a date. When I'm with the misses watching TV I don't want to talk shop. I don't want to talk about anything relating to my job. I don't want to talk about clients, I don't want to talk about HTML5, anything.


You know what that tells me? That tells me 2 things


1. they have no lives

2. they don't work hard. Anyone who works their ass off at work, the last thing they want to do when they get off work is talk shop. so not only are they not as smart as they think they are, their lazy lol.

 

[Jitterbug]

Sorry old ladies, the exciting well-paid programmers are dating younger girls. Be grateful you can still get dates with the boring well-paid ones.

 

[Kailex]

As someone who used to be in IT and now is in Accounting... maybe I'm the exception but have never been called boring.

Then again, I never talk about my job until the relationship evolves organically to that point. All I ever say about my job in Accounting is that it is "CSI with numbers". That's it. That's all they get.

I might as well talk about paint drying if I want to talk about my job.

That said, I could give a flying frack what that article says about what chicks think. Hell, I don't care what they think regardless of the article.

 

[Mike32ct]

Most of the men (including yours truly) in my ballroom class are engineers. They really enjoy the technical parts of the dances.

Mike: Is that a quarter turn?

Dance Teacher: Actually 3/8 turn to the left.

Mike: <Ok 135 degree turn counterclockwise - Got it lol>

Mike: K thanks.

At least we get to do something sort of fun and not work related. I used to get called boring when I had zero hobbies. Now, nobody says that anymore.

I never talk about work outside of work.

 

[dasein]

Sorry old ladies, the exciting well-paid programmers are dating younger girls. Be grateful you can still get dates with the boring well-paid ones.

Bingo. Whole article is an exercise in "why can't I find men 3 notches above me in SMV to fawn all over me?" Think about it, here is a whiny, privileged snobbish little girl in a woman's body complaining about a dating pool that contains hundreds of thousands of prospects from all walks of life. The whole article is a nasty, bigoted generalization based on one or two anecdotal experiences.

It's obvious from her writing style and attitude that she brings -nothing- to the table in terms of being interesting herself. She categorizes the world as two types of people, "cool, hip weirdos like me," and "unfun corporate types." The "not very intelligent" narrow-minded feminist vibe literally drips from her writing style; she is a prosaic little hipster/scenester wannabe. I have no doubt we aren't being told the whole story here. Her dates probably start showing polite interest in her life, and then when she starts up with the "this town used to be so cool and hip" whining, they quickly decide "let's freeze this c-nt out and get out of this quick unless she will throw me one."

No way of evidencing this, pure conjecture, but I would bet in Vegas on the odds that this whole article resulted from a series of short term pump n dumps where she had hoped for more from young professional men in Seattle, and this is her way of raging at them while simultaneously exonerating herself by blame-shifting to innocent men. Same old US female dilemma, "why can't I have guys 3 notches above me? It's NOT FAIR!! I mean I write articles on the INTERNET FFS!!" once the decoder ring is applied.

 

[backbreaker]

Sorry old ladies, the exciting well-paid programmers are dating younger girls. Be grateful you can still get dates with the boring well-paid ones.

no they actually aren't lol.


i understand the sosuave company line but as a programmer, there's a lot of truth to what the article is saying. most programmers are pretty f'n boring anti social overly analytical people.


i'm not saying there aren't exceptions, such as myself lol, but as a whole, programmers aren't swimming in ***** lol. most are out of shape. most have no style. I met a programmer dude at a coffee shop a while back and he saw this girl in some high heels with a skirt on and the dude was so out of it he starred at her to the point he ran into the table lol. but yes, these dudes are swimming in low SMV *****. okay buddy.


it's not hte job per say. you can overcome being a good programmer to have an active social life. But the things that make one want to program generally are things that also generally make guys anti social and bad with women, bad with people in general for the most part.


A programmer on avg who makes 80-90k a year cannot understand why "dammit I have money, I have a good job, I'm single, I have no record, why dn't women like me. I know, I'll spend more money! " doesn't work lol. They don't understand how attraction works and try to make up for it by trying to make themselves look more valuable.. by going on and on about themselves. They don't have the people skills to hold a sexually stimulating conversation with a female.\



Also if you spend as much time in front of a computer as I do you tend to develop quirks. For instance, I talk to myself. Alot. lol I'm talking to myself now lol. I'll be in public sometimes and I'l think of something and I'll say something out loud and people will look at me like WTF lol. My wife is used to it now. But it's "odd". I think out loud.


In short, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a programmer. It's a great career, ti's rewarding and it's recession proof. BuT you have to understand that by nature, because you look at a computer all day long and because you're not active, you're going to be at a disadvantage socially and you have to overcompensate for it. This is part of the reason why I MAKE myself get out the house to work a few times a week.

 

[dasein]

i understand the sosuave company line but as a programmer, there's a lot of truth to what the article is saying. most programmers are pretty f'n boring anti social overly analytical people.

Arguendo, if that were true, honestly read the article and tell me there's a chance that woman is one bit more interesting. I mean how interesting can a person be who gets paid to write articles and the most interesting thing they can come up with to write is a rehash of the stale, trite "where have all the good men gone?" feminist privilege theme? C'mon. She's lucky to be getting what she gets in light of the shrewish BS she writes.

To make it even clearer, imagine there was some Indian guy in Seattle writing about dating, and his article was all about "why can't indian men get white women?" LOL How interesting would -that- guy be?

 

[logicallefty]

My two career fields are IT/security and law enforcment. Working on the IT side right now but hopefully will be back in law enforcment by year's end. I make close to twice as much money in IT but law enforcment is what I really love.

I totally agree that you really have to work hard to break the stereotype of being in IT. When people want to talk about it in social situations I usually say "I forget all technical knowledge after 5:00pm when I leave work". And then no matter what they say, respond "no really, I do" and make them start to wonder if I am actually being truthful. If they want to start drilling me about their problems my response is often "Here is an idea, put the fvcking (phone, computer, whatever) down and read a book!"

Most people get the hint that I'm not your average geek who lives, eats, and breeths the crap. But if they keep on the subject I simply get up and leave.

 

[Alvafe]

no they actually aren't lol.


i understand the sosuave company line but as a programmer, there's a lot of truth to what the article is saying. most programmers are pretty f'n boring anti social overly analytical people.


i'm not saying there aren't exceptions, such as myself lol, but as a whole, programmers aren't swimming in ***** lol. most are out of shape. most have no style. I met a programmer dude at a coffee shop a while back and he saw this girl in some high heels with a skirt on and the dude was so out of it he starred at her to the point he ran into the table lol. but yes, these dudes are swimming in low SMV *****. okay buddy.


it's not hte job per say. you can overcome being a good programmer to have an active social life. But the things that make one want to program generally are things that also generally make guys anti social and bad with women, bad with people in general for the most part.


A programmer on avg who makes 80-90k a year cannot understand why "dammit I have money, I have a good job, I'm single, I have no record, why dn't women like me. I know, I'll spend more money! " doesn't work lol. They don't understand how attraction works and try to make up for it by trying to make themselves look more valuable.. by going on and on about themselves. They don't have the people skills to hold a sexually stimulating conversation with a female.\



Also if you spend as much time in front of a computer as I do you tend to develop quirks. For instance, I talk to myself. Alot. lol I'm talking to myself now lol. I'll be in public sometimes and I'l think of something and I'll say something out loud and people will look at me like WTF lol. My wife is used to it now. But it's "odd". I think out loud.


In short, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a programmer. It's a great career, ti's rewarding and it's recession proof. BuT you have to understand that by nature, because you look at a computer all day long and because you're not active, you're going to be at a disadvantage socially and you have to overcompensate for it. This is part of the reason why I MAKE myself get out the house to work a few times a week.

yes I can undertand this, i'm from IT too, but I ahrdly ever talk about my work, hell even my friend took things like years to know what i'm doing for a living, simple put, it work, I don't like it but pay bills and make me money to do things I like,

but also BB you need to see that article is not about boring programmers, or dudes who only talk about they jobs, its about why the good looking ones who can deal with people don't look at me, adn any writer learn how to write things to at least spin things to look like they are right or know waht theya re talking about even when they have no clue. is not helpfull too in IT/programming and such it require lots of thinking time little on labor, and the good ones are the most lazy people you now, why? like Bill Gates said once if he would hire someone he would hire the lazy ones, since they are more willing to make something more easy to do, and talking with people is or annoying or too much work, plus not much logical, is more organic with we have or had a hard time to deal with.

@BetterCallSaul

here is more on how and what is the happy hour deal your job peers do and rules, most will use that time to talk about work in a more lively mood and altered thanks for the drinks in new ways to deal with the work or just vent, real friends, even when working together, will not talk about work.

Then you ask yourself this, why they ask for drnks after work? to vent or still work? also take note places like this makes your boss more aproachable, with you can use for him see you and know you a little more, and you can bet the next time he need to promove you or someone else he will do so to the one he likes more

 

[FairShake]

Sometimes dudes just need to listen. We hear what we want to hear. There is actual gold in this article if you just look past it's whining.

Girls want interesting guys. Interesting is different for every girl. Pursue the life you want to for your own reasons and some of them will find you interesting.

 

[FairShake]

And don't be so buttoned down and conforming. If you could take a picture of you and your friends, remove the head, and not know who is who you might be a bro.

Now, if you want to be a drone pursuing a career and that's who you are fine. I won't tell you not too. But if you want to best shot at pvssy without being particularly rich, famous, or good looking, you should be a little alt or "SWPL" as the manosphere calls it. Those are the dudes scoring the best pvssy in the cities. And who really wants farm pvssy? Bro pvssy dries up after college.