Chick giving mixed signals...tomorrow is my last attempt

[Just a Shot Away]

I used to work with this girl and I still see her every once in awhile when I stop in. She's always the first to say hi to me and maintains prolonged eye contact...to the point where I have to consciously force myself not to look away. Even when we're saying goodbye, she never breaks EC. Not sure if she does this with everyone, but I don't think so.

Anyway, a few months ago we were texting a bit and I suggested that I take her out for a drink and she never responded. I saw her a month ago or so, and we stopped and talked about what we like to do for fun out on the town and whatnot and she showed genuine interest in my life and hobbies. Didn't ask her out that time though, since I was still reeling from the previous rejection. I was the one to end the convo first though, like always. She also lingers behind like she wasn't ready to stop talking. One time she saw me walking while she was in her car and we were talking, and she started to pull over to get out and talk but I told her that I had to bounce.

So I see her tonight and decide to say hi, but don't say anything cause her coworkers were there and didn't want to put her on the spot. But I text her later on to let me know when she's off work, and she does and I call her 10-15 minutes after her text. She doesn't answer. I then text her.

Me: Bad time?
Her: I'm at a basketball game
Me: Ah. No excuse for not answering my call tho! JK I was just seeing if you work tomorrow
Her: Ya I do
Me: You think your boyfriend will mind if you come have lunch with me tomorrow on your break?

Mind you now, I'm getting reports that she does NOT have a boyfriend but I said that to kind of force her to make a decision. Also to give an out in case she just simply doesn't want to have lunch. She never responds. So now I'm wondering...is there anything else I can/should do here or at this point or should I just next? I still have fairly high IL in this chick as I would actually like to take her on a date. She's one of the few women that I've met that I find interesting.

 

[Tiguere]

Nop. Next her... She is just wasting your time. Tipical attention wh0re. She will text and text but will ignore your call. And once put on the spot will ignore your text.
Delete her number and when she texts answer "who's this?"

 

[Nino-Tk]

What the lad above me just said.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Yeah, I guess I already knew that. It's just that it seems like she really liked me and I think it would be a lot of fun to rail this girl. Oh well.

 

[DonJuan11]

- I used to work with this girl
- I suggested that I take her out for a drink she never responded
- I text her later on to let me know when she's off work, and she does
- I call her 10-15 minutes after her text. She doesn't answer.
- You think your boyfriend will mind if you come have lunch with me tomorrow on your break? She never responds.

Is there anything else I can/should do here? I still have fairly high IL in this chick

Wouldn't do much else. More contact by you does not help the situation or increase her interest level.

 

[Prodigy746]

Nop. Next her... She is just wasting your time. Tipical attention wh0re. She will text and text but will ignore your call. And once put on the spot will ignore your text.
Delete her number and when she texts answer "who's this?"

QFT ... do what this man said

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Wouldn't do much else. More contact by you does not help the situation or increase her interest level.

It just burns me that she won't even give me a yes or no. Such disrespect... It kills me that there's a girl out there that doesn't have a boyfriend that won't go out with me, and won't even tell me why not. I mean, I don't even get a HINT of why not. I just get ignored.

I'm a pretty nice guy (most say too nice) and I doubt that she thinks otherwise. What have I done to deserve such disrespect? It amazes me that such a low quality girl is able to hide it so well in public. What an evolutionary marvel.

 

[tafakna]

Me: Bad time?
Her: I'm at a basketball game
Me: Ah. No excuse for not answering my call tho! JK I was just seeing if you work tomorrow
Her: Ya I do
Me: You think your boyfriend will mind if you come have lunch with me tomorrow on your break?

What have I done to deserve such disrespect? It amazes me that such a low quality girl is able to hide it so well in public. What an evolutionary marvel.

The answer to your question starts above in bold. A bit of bluntness is useful so I will be a straight shooter and say that such an statement was awful, clingy, needy and unnecessary.

You compounded your problems by texting after calling and then went even further with your clingy statement. You will not get respected this way.

So a few pointers:

1) Next time you escalate (like move from texting to calling) and the other person is reluctant, back off a bit

2) When you call and the other person doesn't answer, don't call or text again. Wait for the person to answer. If she doesn't answer after a week then you text her again with something amusing (but not asking for a date or to hang out).

3) It's just stupid to try to force for an answer when she's clearly reluctant. You should have done the opposite, backed off so she knew that she didn't have to few pressured by you contacting her.

Of course you can avoid taking part of the blame here, by saying she's an AW; but you can also take the high road and improve your game so this will not happen again.

When I don't get a girl I try to find what my errors were, instead of blaming on the girl. I found that it's much more productive over the long haul...

 

[DonJuan11]

It kills me that there's a girl out there that doesn't have a boyfriend that won't go out with me, and won't even tell me why not.

That's a scary scary statement. A girl you like has to give you a reason why she won't go out with you? What would you do if she went out with you and then ignored you, rape her? She doesn't want to go out with you because:

- she is sleeping with a 6'1 hockey player
- she is sleeping with a 6'1 football player
- you are too nice
- you are too short
- you are losing your hair
- you are boring
- you have no money
- you play Rockband
- you like Carrie Underwood

Whatever the reason may be, she won't go out with you because you don't turn her on for her to go out with you. Work on improving yourself and learning something, then you won't care as much and move on. But don't say illogical statements like "she has to give me a reason since I like her and she doesn't have a boyfriend" that makes you look stalkerish and freaky.



I'm a pretty nice guy (most say too nice) and I doubt that she thinks otherwise. What have I done to deserve such disrespect? It amazes me that such a low quality girl is able to hide it so well in public. What an evolutionary marvel.

What have I done to deserve such disrespect?

Again that's a scary statement. She is not your sister or long lost daughter, she is a girl you are attracted to and want to sleep with. Doesn't mean anything to her.

Girls aren't blunt like guys, they avoid confrontation when a guy doesn't turn them on. She is never going to come out and say "You don't turn me on enough.", she is going to ignore you enough times so you get the hint.

 

[f283000]

It just burns me that she won't even give me a yes or no. Such disrespect... It kills me that there's a girl out there that doesn't have a boyfriend that won't go out with me, and won't even tell me why not. I mean, I don't even get a HINT of why not. I just get ignored.

Do you know why she won't give you a yes or no? because most girls are afraid to tell it to your face that THEY DOESN'T WANT YOU AS A MAN!

So what do they do? they pull the friend card, ignore your calls, flake on you, don't give you straight answers etc etc etc. All in the hope that the nice guys that are pursuing them will get the hint and will leave them alone so that they don't have to resort to telling it to your face you will never get in their panties.

This girl does not want you and never will. You need to be a man and have some self respect and stop pursuing her.

Brother you really REALLY need to read the 2 STRIKES RULE and start applying it to your life.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

That's a scary scary statement. A girl you like has to give you a reason why she won't go out with you? What would you do if she went out with you and then ignored you, rape her?

No, she doesn't have to give me a reason. You don't have to say excuse me when you bump into someone on the street and make them drop all their papers on the ground, either. But if you want to show common human decency to your fellow man, you MUST say excuse me at the very least and probably should get down on the ground and help pick up them papers, also.

She is my friend, and to choose to ignore a question instead of answering it is disrespectful. I hold men to this standard as well.

Again that's a scary statement. She is not your sister or long lost daughter, she is a girl you are attracted to and want to sleep with. Doesn't mean anything to her.

That's a reflection of HER character. Not mine. I fail to see how wondering why I deserve to be disrespected is scary.

Also, I'd like to add that this girl isn't really all that high value to other guys. *I* find her interesting and attractive, but she's not exactly Megan Fox beating off other guys with a stick. She's a pretty average chick. My friends say that I should try one more time in person, since it's so easy to play the "I never got that text" card and whatnot. I'm still up in the air...because I still really want to bang this broad, but my brain says that I should just NC.

 

[tafakna]

She's a pretty average chick. My friends say that I should try one more time in person, since it's so easy to play the "I never got that text" card and whatnot. I'm still up in the air...because I still really want to bang this broad, but my brain says that I should just NC.

Upping the pressure on her is the last thing that is needed here. Girls dig independent, confident and aloof guys. Going for a confrontation to get closure or whatever is very sissy and an awful idea.

And BTW, I can't believe for a second that your only intention is to bang this chick... You obviously sound like you are falling for the girl...

Good luck

 

[thecurtainfalls]

She has dropped direct signs that she does not like when you start to escalate with her. Continue now at your own peril, realize that by pressing the issue further you may damage her view of you irreversibly. You are entering oblivious creep territory if you need her to spell her disinterest out for you. Whichever poster mentioned that girls go non-confrontational to signal their disinterest is 100% spot on.

PS: Memorize this phrase and make it a part of you: "not every girl has to (or will) like me". It's true for everyone and you'll feel much better once you realize this is true.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Well the good part is that I never have to see her again and I don't value her friendship at all. There's a million other Starbucks stores nearby. I got shut down by a different barista at a different store so all I have to do is check to see if her car is parked out front before I go in.

And at this store, it has lots of windows so if I see her I can just keep driving. Again, normally at this point I WOULD go NC if she didn't keep throwing me DJ-verified IOI's every time I talk to her and/or people didn't keep encouraging me to ask her out in person. That's makes my dilemma so ambiguous to me.

 

[AMDG]

No excuse for not answering my call tho!

Why are you so desperate ? Ignoring uninterested people is easy - and keeps your dignity intact.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Why are you so desperate ? Ignoring uninterested people is easy - and keeps your dignity intact.

*sigh* This stuff is so foreign to me, man. Everything I do involving women is so forced and awkward. I was trying to neg her for not answering my call and it was a lame attempt to get her to qualify herself to me. I debated for a good 5 minutes of whether or not to put the exclamation point in there, but figured it would come across as prickish if I didn't.

I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to ask her out through a phone call instead of text, but I guess it only made things worse.

 

[romanticman]

Sounds like a very low self esteem attention seeking woman to me. Nc her ..ignore her...walk away if you see her again. We are the bounty.. let them put a little effort in for us as men. If they dont then they are not interested and we dont need to lower ourselves.

 

[AMDG]

*sigh* This stuff is so foreign to me, man. Everything I do involving women is so forced and awkward. I was trying to neg her for not answering my call and it was a lame attempt to get her to qualify herself to me. I debated for a good 5 minutes of whether or not to put the exclamation point in there, but figured it would come across as prickish if I didn't.

I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to ask her out through a phone call instead of text, but I guess it only made things worse.

Start by accepting that you can't control how a girl reacts, but you can control your behaviour in order to improve your chances. It's really a numbers game - I personally nexted a lot of girls ( gold diggers, AWs, girls interested in ONSs, feministas, girls with various issues etc ) until I found one that craves me. Now ironically I am the one selecting girls who try to become my "official" GF.

 

[tafakna]

Well the good part is that I never have to see her again and I don't value her friendship at all. There's a million other Starbucks stores nearby. I got shut down by a different barista at a different store so all I have to do is check to see if her car is parked out front before I go in.

Now we're talking.

If nailing a girl is the goal, then I agree, NEXT HER. There are plenty of girls who actually dig having casual sex, without you having to invest that much time...