Reyaj
Master Don Juan
anyone else?
Cheating: Pro's and Con's
- Thread starter borntoblossom
- Start date
Cheating, to me, all comes down to trust. If you gave your word to your girl that you would not have sex with anyone else, then cheating would make you a liar. It doesn't really matter that its sex or anything else; in any context, it destroys your credibility.
Now, if you do not say she is exclusive to you, or vice versa, then having sex with other girls is not cheating.
Additionally, cheating is a great way to introduce STDs into your otherwise healthy relationship.
If I found out my girl cheated, I'd ditch her fast.
If she found out that I did, I would not blame her for doing the same.
It has nothing to do with sex. It's all about trust.
Now, if you do not say she is exclusive to you, or vice versa, then having sex with other girls is not cheating.
Additionally, cheating is a great way to introduce STDs into your otherwise healthy relationship.
If I found out my girl cheated, I'd ditch her fast.
If she found out that I did, I would not blame her for doing the same.
It has nothing to do with sex. It's all about trust.
Re:
Francisco hit it right on the head. Cheating is what it is.
Is cheating wrong if a woman has remained with a boyfriend oh-so-long that's verbally abusive and decides to make the leap one night with a guy?
You mean you purported "Dj's" thoroughly cleanse and wash all girls to determine if there's strings attached?
What defines cheating as cheating?
Some say it's when you do something you wouldn't want done to you, yet you do it. That's also called double standards, and selfishness.
Putting one's morals on another relates to what is true of love and relationships, we are in love with the IDEA and/or image of the person.
Think about it. You meet a girl, she's a cheerleader. Since you were young, you've LOVED the cheerleader spirit, their outfits, and the idea of banging a hot cheerleader in her outfit. You met one one day and fall for her, not because of who she is personally, though it might factor in, but due to the hard-wiring you've impounded into yourself over years of Playboys, TV, football, fantasizing and the like.
Alot of the AFC mentality comes from this, too, as men SEE on TV all these supposed sweetheart women. Kelly Kipowski from "Saved by the Bell," "Punky Brewster (who became a major babe), and how ALL magazines portray these women sexually, yet so "princess-like". Compound that with the mental programming of treating people we see as a certain image as a certain way and BAMMO.
On new year's I hooked with a girl who may or may not have had a BF, supposedly, she was getting over her X. Come to find out, the next day she bolts from chillen with me an my friends to go see the other guy. No biggie to me, we'd shacked up naked all night and slammed a few times. All in all fun. Couldn't tell you if she did or didn't, and don't care. It was fun for the time, *I* was single.
The only line I adhere to, over and above how karma does work, is adhering to my own word. Even if I *expect* a girl not to cheat and to have similar values as mine, that's not reality. It's selfish, yes selfish, to expect that someone you're with will be PRECISELY like you and make the same decisions. Only through a relationship do you learn about them. However, to myself, cheating does or does not matter, that's it. If I do, I'll deal with the consequences, and concurrently, so too would I if she did.
It's not an issue worth stressing over, because as much as it might hurt to feel it, you can't prevent another person from doing. That's right, you can't. Sure, you can stomp on the ground, and have a long, crying talk, or even become a prick and make outlandish demands and check or phone, OR, be mature and feel good about yourself and do what feels right. Break up with her, move on if she doesn't share the same values, because ultimately, THOSE are what will determine the success of failure of the relationship.
See reality. See, not the image, but the whole thing. Not just actions, but realize, a person is generally only an image in your mind. Even your friends or family have sides you don't see or haven't seen, that gives you an image of how you relate to them. Your girl is no different. Thus far she might be good, and fun, and say nice things, but that doesn't mean she ISN'T capable of bad or hurtful things, ONLY YOUR IMAGE of her prevents that. Any guy who has found this site or one's like it, KNOW that women have duality of being, where they're a slut or a good girl, and odds are good, if you met her being slutty with you, she can easily be slutty with someone else.
A-Unit
Francisco hit it right on the head. Cheating is what it is.
Is cheating wrong if a woman has remained with a boyfriend oh-so-long that's verbally abusive and decides to make the leap one night with a guy?
You mean you purported "Dj's" thoroughly cleanse and wash all girls to determine if there's strings attached?
What defines cheating as cheating?
Some say it's when you do something you wouldn't want done to you, yet you do it. That's also called double standards, and selfishness.
Putting one's morals on another relates to what is true of love and relationships, we are in love with the IDEA and/or image of the person.
Think about it. You meet a girl, she's a cheerleader. Since you were young, you've LOVED the cheerleader spirit, their outfits, and the idea of banging a hot cheerleader in her outfit. You met one one day and fall for her, not because of who she is personally, though it might factor in, but due to the hard-wiring you've impounded into yourself over years of Playboys, TV, football, fantasizing and the like.
Alot of the AFC mentality comes from this, too, as men SEE on TV all these supposed sweetheart women. Kelly Kipowski from "Saved by the Bell," "Punky Brewster (who became a major babe), and how ALL magazines portray these women sexually, yet so "princess-like". Compound that with the mental programming of treating people we see as a certain image as a certain way and BAMMO.
On new year's I hooked with a girl who may or may not have had a BF, supposedly, she was getting over her X. Come to find out, the next day she bolts from chillen with me an my friends to go see the other guy. No biggie to me, we'd shacked up naked all night and slammed a few times. All in all fun. Couldn't tell you if she did or didn't, and don't care. It was fun for the time, *I* was single.
The only line I adhere to, over and above how karma does work, is adhering to my own word. Even if I *expect* a girl not to cheat and to have similar values as mine, that's not reality. It's selfish, yes selfish, to expect that someone you're with will be PRECISELY like you and make the same decisions. Only through a relationship do you learn about them. However, to myself, cheating does or does not matter, that's it. If I do, I'll deal with the consequences, and concurrently, so too would I if she did.
It's not an issue worth stressing over, because as much as it might hurt to feel it, you can't prevent another person from doing. That's right, you can't. Sure, you can stomp on the ground, and have a long, crying talk, or even become a prick and make outlandish demands and check or phone, OR, be mature and feel good about yourself and do what feels right. Break up with her, move on if she doesn't share the same values, because ultimately, THOSE are what will determine the success of failure of the relationship.
See reality. See, not the image, but the whole thing. Not just actions, but realize, a person is generally only an image in your mind. Even your friends or family have sides you don't see or haven't seen, that gives you an image of how you relate to them. Your girl is no different. Thus far she might be good, and fun, and say nice things, but that doesn't mean she ISN'T capable of bad or hurtful things, ONLY YOUR IMAGE of her prevents that. Any guy who has found this site or one's like it, KNOW that women have duality of being, where they're a slut or a good girl, and odds are good, if you met her being slutty with you, she can easily be slutty with someone else.
A-Unit
"Cheating doesn't exist its a state of mind, based entirly on your own social programming and conditioning. The only reality is what you can deal with and what you cannot deal with. If you can deal with sleeping with a third party and then not having any issues of going back to the woman you love.. go for it. If you feel no need to do it.. don't! If you have moral hang ups about doing it, don't do it. "
This is exactly what I think too.
This is exactly what I think too.
Ultimately, you are cheating on yourself because the real *value* of the relationship is lost, so that it becomes meaningless, except for the deeply-insecure purpose of boosting your ego.
Staying with someone for this purpose, to simply boost your ego, means you are a very weak individual.
The strong and decisive realise that the willingness to mess with other women means there is no "relationship" worth saving.
The strong and decisive do not waste their time on a charade.
Staying with someone for this purpose, to simply boost your ego, means you are a very weak individual.
The strong and decisive realise that the willingness to mess with other women means there is no "relationship" worth saving.
The strong and decisive do not waste their time on a charade.
If you are willing to break the trust of a relationship, logically you must operate the same policy of cheating in other areas of your life, including your friendships. Alternatively, you have zero integrity.
If you honestly beleive that a consistent code of ethics is counter-productive, theres not much anyone do for you.
If you honestly beleive that a consistent code of ethics is counter-productive, theres not much anyone do for you.
Views.
Keep in mind, most guys here are basing their "cheating beliefs" on not having attained the true HB10 that dazzles their soul.
No honest man would say they'd cheat on Carmen Electra with anybody other than say Lyndsay Lohan, or another hotty. So it is subjective. I wouldn't sacrifice, nor would any other, a great gf, versus a quick lay, if you do, I question alot of things about you.
Cheating in and out of itself has other implications, you're bored, she's hotter than your gf, problems, opportunity, view/beliefs on life, or on the relationship, an opportunist, you want out of the relationship, you have an open relationship; whatever.
I've dated a few hb9's and 10's and there isn't another person that could draw my attention away from them unless it was another hb9/10 and I knew that moving on was important. HOWEVER, most girls will be squeamish about such things. She's going to think...(if she knows)...he cheated on his X to get with me, he'd cheat on me, too. Because in her mind, how can you only justify the actions of being with her in words?
"Oh, sure, I hardly ever do this," as you hookup with a girl. Both parties are evidently lying. One cannot determine how 'special' a person is in a few minutes, and if you can, your mind is deluding you into some false image of who this person is because you want to believe it, not because it's reality.
All guys, given the chance would, it might take more for each guy to do it, but they would. The question of right or wrong is irrelevant. Mute. In the context of life, who's to know? What if the girl you were with WAS cheating, but you foolishly didn't know? One could say 2 wrongs don't make a right, but...maybe it's fortunate you met another girl to get over it with.
Maybe you were meant to sire kids with a different woman, and you couldn't see it. I've had countless guys during college oppine over a girl, hookup with another, cry because they lost the old X, when in fact, the new girl was hotter, better personality, and treated him better right now, all because their impression of morality was warped AND because they loved the image of WHO she was, NOT who she is.
How many guys have similar situations happened where you met a girl, fairly shortly after breaking up with an X?
In short-time, you weren't totally over "THE IMAGE", and so you lost a potentially great relationship. There are no truths.
A-Unit
Keep in mind, most guys here are basing their "cheating beliefs" on not having attained the true HB10 that dazzles their soul.
No honest man would say they'd cheat on Carmen Electra with anybody other than say Lyndsay Lohan, or another hotty. So it is subjective. I wouldn't sacrifice, nor would any other, a great gf, versus a quick lay, if you do, I question alot of things about you.
Cheating in and out of itself has other implications, you're bored, she's hotter than your gf, problems, opportunity, view/beliefs on life, or on the relationship, an opportunist, you want out of the relationship, you have an open relationship; whatever.
I've dated a few hb9's and 10's and there isn't another person that could draw my attention away from them unless it was another hb9/10 and I knew that moving on was important. HOWEVER, most girls will be squeamish about such things. She's going to think...(if she knows)...he cheated on his X to get with me, he'd cheat on me, too. Because in her mind, how can you only justify the actions of being with her in words?
"Oh, sure, I hardly ever do this," as you hookup with a girl. Both parties are evidently lying. One cannot determine how 'special' a person is in a few minutes, and if you can, your mind is deluding you into some false image of who this person is because you want to believe it, not because it's reality.
All guys, given the chance would, it might take more for each guy to do it, but they would. The question of right or wrong is irrelevant. Mute. In the context of life, who's to know? What if the girl you were with WAS cheating, but you foolishly didn't know? One could say 2 wrongs don't make a right, but...maybe it's fortunate you met another girl to get over it with.
Maybe you were meant to sire kids with a different woman, and you couldn't see it. I've had countless guys during college oppine over a girl, hookup with another, cry because they lost the old X, when in fact, the new girl was hotter, better personality, and treated him better right now, all because their impression of morality was warped AND because they loved the image of WHO she was, NOT who she is.
How many guys have similar situations happened where you met a girl, fairly shortly after breaking up with an X?
In short-time, you weren't totally over "THE IMAGE", and so you lost a potentially great relationship. There are no truths.
A-Unit
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
A-Unit good post.