Chatting & IM'img--What Do You Think?

[TooColdUlrick]

i've always thought chatting and IM'ing was lame and useless. BUT, over the last couple of months, giving it the old TooCold try, i've actually had pretty good success, considering that it's such a low overhead investment (ROI for you, Genghis).

my whole motivation was just to try this and get used to IM'ing and such because i haven't done this in at least five years. i still have a 5 digit ICQ number from WAAAAAY back, however.

i've found that it's very easy to get an IM dialog started, with a chick who lives near you. that is to say, "picking them up" in a chat room, then proceeding to IM.

gone out on about 5 dates using this angle. they all went pretty well. saw two of them more than once. haven't fvcked either of them.

what i've found is the opposite of what the younger lads are saying on the other boards. that is, use IM to get to the point quickly and close a meeting. i would prefer NOT to do this. i'm in no rush to waste a good evening with a flake, regardless of if we met online or off. just like the telephone cr@p. i have no problem or issues chit-chatting on the phone so as to build/reinforce rapport. same thing with the IM.

i've had long (probably about 15 minutes) sessions multiple times with all of these women. i've found that it's a great way to pre-qualify them, and them me, i'm sure. in fact, three of them asked me out after many sessions with me never suggesting that we meet. i'd rather have three or four 15 minute IM sessions, and when we go out have a guaranteed good time, instead of quickly asking for a meeting, not knowing if it's a total waste of time. i think (know) they are thinking the exact same thing.

in addition, i've found that they are much more receptive to the dirty talk, which is good. some of them are really nasty (the talk). of course, this was carried over to some degree when we met. the ice was already broken, so to speak.

i'm going to keep doing it. i've had about 5 in the pipeline continuously and will try to keep it that way, knowing that i'll only want to meet with one/two out of these five. when one drops out, i'll go grab another.

i'm still in the experimental stages on this one so i'm gonna keep messing around with it.

what do you guys think about this? any results, thoughts, observations, advice?

 

[NMMWCR]

Depends on if the girl is into that. If they like using a messenger go for it. If they aren't already in the habit forget it because they give you this look like you are the world's biggest geek. Try to stick with messengers that let you lurk in invisible mode though. You don't want to get hounded by IMs 24/7 from net junkies who aren't going to pan out.

I've had good results with Trillian (www.trillian.cc) for consolidating my clients. You can be simultaneously logged on to AIM, ICQ, YIM, MSN, and IRC with one interface including multiple nicks on each service. That way you can have an alternate channel open when using messenger at work for work stuff that you don't have to give out the ID to. Just open your TooCold@work and TooCold@play nicks simul when you have time for it, and close your TooCold@play nick when you have to take care of business. IM doesn't have to be intrusive if you take steps to manage it.

 

[Genghis Juan]

I'm not a big fan of IM or chatting as a way to meet chicks. The main reason is that I can't see them, and even if they were to give me their photo, I wouldn't know if it was real or recent. The method of communication is also very low level stuff, so its difficult to get a feel for the person's aura or whether she is a nutcake or not. Its possible for people to come across as very personable by chat, however, when you talk to them over the phone, or meet in person, you may realize they are a bore.

I think the chatting/IM thing is alot like the online personals; you have to go through several stages of screening just to find out if the person is even worth meeting. From there, you carry on like every other aspect of dating assuming the person is anything like they previously described to you.

It doesn't seem like a very low investment in my opinion; perhaps low monetarily, but high in terms of time and effort to screen.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

i agree, i don't really like the idea of IM myself--it just seems cheesy and perverted almost.

however, there are a lot of chicks that do this. even ones that are high quality. i'm chatting up with a 26 year old attorney right now. nearly all of them have said that they are sick of "dating", sick of the bar scene, sick of going out with losers. duh!

why then would they try this route when the proportion of losers is much higher, i don't know. but it seems that they are on the same page as me. that is, they can very quickly screen out the losers, very similar so "speed dating" i'm thinking.

all of the ones that i've seen, their pics were accurate. but obviously, who knows until you actually see them. and who knows if they are a flake. but how long will it take you to figure this out anyway?

it is a low-level communication vehicle, but i think this is an advantage in some ways. the things that i look for immediately: CAN THEY SPELL; COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY IN WRITING, and; ENGAGE EACH OTHER.

flat out, i can't stand dumb chicks. i'm looking for smart women who are cute. it's damn easy to filter them out fast in an IM--five minutes or less.

the lawyer babe is sharp as a tack. i knew it immediately. cute too.

so my first screen is the above. my second is if their pic is an HB6 or above (knowing that some people, including myself just take bad pics). i think (know) they are doing the same thing.

i have some other observations too, that i will post over the weekend.

again, just an experiment of sorts. there IS a right way(s) to do this, given what you are looking for in women.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
i agree, i don't really like the idea of IM myself--it just seems cheesy and perverted almost.

You forgot to add "pVssy"

Whenever I see these IMing posts I think about Revenge of the Nerds. Some chickenshyt dorks using their computers to pick up chicks.

If you are meeting new people thru it then it can't be all bad. I just think using it as a tool to increase interest is lame. I see so many hot chicks walking around everyday. I can't find the time to talk to them all. So I could never find the time to worry about IMing.

 

[Doppler4000]

I don't see on-line dating, personals, chatting, etc. etc. as anything more than a waste of time, with the odds stacked against the average guy. My experience has been that the people you really want to meet aren't doing that stuff- they're out there meeting people face to face.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Doppler4000
I don't see on-line dating, personals, chatting, etc. etc. as anything more than a waste of time, with the odds stacked against the average guy. My experience has been that the people you really want to meet aren't doing that stuff- they're out there meeting people face to face.

yes, the odds are stacked against the average guy, online and off.

 

[danziger]

Hottest chick that I've ever hooked up with was a Yahoo Chat then IM pick up...don't discount it!

First night I went to her local jazz bar to meet her five other guys tried to pick her up but she went home with me We saw each other for a while but then I had to move far away for work and she was studying so didn't want to move with me, we still catch up when I'm in her town and are good friends/**** buddies.
She was one of those who was sick of the whole bar scene due to the fact she would have AFC guys following her all night and drooling, trying crap pick up lines etc.

So IM is a good tool, I find C&F is probably more critical in chat rooms then being overly friendly, attracts attention and then IM's from it then you can work your Don Juan magic.

Just beware the pics...always ask for a quick webcam look if they have one so you can see the real person who hasn't been photoshopped! The one you knock back is the one you don't get though...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I think IM'ing is for teenagers; however, because women are tiring of the 'bar/club' scene, I think it is slowly becoming a viable option to 'meet' the opposite sex. After you meet them, then only chat online to set up a face-to-face encounter!!

 

[Player_Supreme]

IM and Chatting is kind of lame to me too. I've done it obviously. I use it when opportunities to get into their heads or relay something exists.

Tech...is growing. Soon your portable pads will be able to beam someone elses pads like text messaging.

I can see it now just like some grade school chump stuff.

"I like you...do you like me...beem back yes or no"

If woman are really into chatting I stay away from them....they have no life or there is something going on as to why they do not live in the real world.

 

[Player_Supreme]

I forgot to add to my post that although I think it's kid of lame because I would rather be in person...but when you can't sending Emails with mind bombs will do the trick.

As you can see by my belly dancer friends negative email to me:

you piss me off.
for some reason i thought about you all day. what else is new. do you ever
think of me that way. or have i always just been the backup dancer you
know i shouldn't even want to see you. why do i??
i hate this sh*t



Communication is communication is communication and by anyother name it's communication no matter what for it takes.

It all works. That is as long as you know how to utilize the tool correctly and powerfully.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
I forgot to add to my post that although I think it's kid of lame because I would rather be in person...but when you can't sending Emails with mind bombs will do the trick.

As you can see by my belly dancer friends negative email to me:

you piss me off.
for some reason i thought about you all day. what else is new. do you ever
think of me that way. or have i always just been the backup dancer you
know i shouldn't even want to see you. why do i??
i hate this sh*t



Communication is communication is communication and by anyother name it's communication no matter what for it takes.

It all works. That is as long as you know how to utilize the tool correctly and powerfully.

i totally agree. there are advantages to NOT having a face to face sometimes. if one can pull if off offline, then you should be able to pull if off online as well.

 

[icehot]

Hey player_supreme,

i need to get some advice on writing those mind bomb emails.

I'm pretty good at it but i think i could increase by batting average.

-iceH

 

[markypoo]

I just recently joined an internet dating site. Apparently a lot of the woman are nurses and other occupations which mean they can't keep normal hours. I dated one of woman from the site who turned out to be a nurse. She told me how they sit at work and surf the net looking for guys. Apparently they drew straws over who got to have first crack at me.
Not all the chicks on those sites are social misfits or behemoths. Some just have odd hours.

 

[Doppler4000]

OK, I'm already on record in this topic saying it's a waste of time- and that actually has been my experience with dating sites like match.com, etc.

But, I'm totally not familiar with the IM thing. What exactly do you guys use and how do you go about meeting people in your area? ICQ? Yahoo?

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Doppler4000
OK, I'm already on record in this topic saying it's a waste of time- and that actually has been my experience with dating sites like match.com, etc.

But, I'm totally not familiar with the IM thing. What exactly do you guys use and how do you go about meeting people in your area? ICQ? Yahoo?

this is long and fragmented, but i'm just here waiting for the laker game to start.

here's my strategy with this. i've been messing with it for a while, just for fun.

i don't do the personals thing at all. i use yahoo IM. i go into a chat room (a local one), and just harass the fvck out of everyone--relentlessly--especially chicks. i'll take charge of the whole operation in the foulest, crudest, rudest, most racist, demeaning and funny manner possible, free stylin'. you've gotta know what you're doing though, if you take this approach!

i try to get a lot of people in the room to gravitate over to me. that's the point. being popular--the center of attention--controlling the room. chicks dig this, for obvious reasons. i will also slip out a few tidbits here and there about what i do for a living.

i recall one chick who posted a line something like this, "i'm looking to chat with a guy that has at least half a brain". i posted back, "fvck you b!tch, i'm 10x smarter than you". we sparred a couple of rounds and i knocked her azz out. she threatened to leave the room and i said again, "no one wants you anyway. get lost". i became instantly popular in the room.

people can go back and review your previous dialog in the room! who is this guy? oh my god? he dogged my profile? he's cool! he's funny! he's an azzhole!

whatever man, anything will do! anything to set you apart.

this is a totally different approach than what all of the other chat chumps are doing and it sparks an interest. most chumps are always trying to be a nice guy.

it also helps quite a bit if you and a friend go to a chat room together and spark it up. it's more fun too.

ususally they'll hit me up with an IM--ones that i've dogged in public, or ones that have been on the sidelines watching the action.

if a chick IM's me i will tone it down with her a bit.

you MUST have a nicely written profile (according to your motivations) with a nice picture! otherwise, they'll never hit you up! believe me, they will check it before they hit you up.

i'll take a look at their profile first before i cold approach. usually chicks have zero info though, for good reason. get a pic as fast as you can from her. but remember, a pic is ususally NOT what they really look like--could be much better or much worse.

sh!t, sometimes, i'll go into a chat room, and IM every chick in the room, one after the other, like a typical chump. if nothing happens in five minutes, on to the next room, and on to the next. there are 45 LA chat rooms and that many more California's.

BUT, my profile is what gets them to respond. sometimes they'll respond the next day. on the profile, i don't mess around with the "i want a really nice wholesome girl next door type". BS! i basically say i'm, single, successful, educated, and looking for a young hot fun chick to hang with. gotta remember, there are so many losers dudes in the chats, you simply have to say something like this point blank--it's also gotta be true!

i'll deal with the gold diggers later, PRL

i can easily get a dialog going with three or four inside of 20 minutes. you might be surprised at the types of chicks that are in chat rooms. i runs the gamut, just like the "real world".

learn how to type! the faster the better. you also have to be at your best on the verbage, because that's your communication medium at the present moment.

contrary to what others might say, i wait until after a couple of IM sessions before i ask for the number and/or ask them to get together. i want at least a couple of pics too. you should have them also, ready to shoot over to them. get good ones, even if it's from your web cam. take 200 of them and pick the best 3 or 4. and put them in a simple collage in PS.

BEWARE: there are a TON of people (women) from philipines, nigeria, egypt, indonesia, china, who IM you cold. they will really bug the fvck out of you (now i know what a hot babe goes through!). just put them on your ignore list. the ones that hit you up with "ASL Please" (age, location, sex), forget them.

BEWARE: BOTS--the automated "chicks" who are trying to sell their cam sites. if you go to their profile, and the Favorite Links has anything that says "cam" in the URL, forget it. you will get IM'd frequently by these scum bags, it will usually say,

"hey baby, my cam is online, check out my profile".

i only spend about two hours per week doing this. i think my main motivation now, is that it's a great way to practice serious free stylin bs, and it keeps your wit sharp.

bottom line: the wittier you are the better your chances. same deal offline, right?

 

[Rave18]

Was addicted to chatting for a number of years, on Yahoo Chat Rooms as well. Met a whole lot of people online > Single women, married women [some claimed to be bi], divorced women, cuckold husbands and bfs [some of whom wanted me to blackmail their wives, have babies with their wives etc.].

Out of the many, didn't find anyone compatible for an actual relation. Never met anyone in person and personally, it was a waste of time.