Character... Do you have any?

[backbreaker]

In my 7 years here (wow) I don't think I have ever seen this topic broached in any way shape or forum. I take long vacations from here so I could very well be wrong.


This does not have alot to do with women, but it does have alot to do about being a man, and being a man is always a plus when it comes to getting a woman.




AS cheezy as it sounds, women really aren't THAT far off when they say "it's the inside that counts". The problem is, by "inside", men ASSUME that women are talking about AFC creepy **** like buying flowers and rubbing feet and all that stuff. Nice guys assume the inside should be full of nice, when it should be full of man if that makes any sense.

What is going to separate you from all those chumps out there, what is going to give you the confidence to look at a woman and demand respect, to INSTINCTIVELY look at her and size her up, to see if she fits YOUR criteria versus hoping you HAVE A CHANCE is CHARACTER, and to be frank, not alot of men have any.

"Reputation is the shadow. Character is the tree."
-honest abe

Alertness - Being aware of what is taking place around me so I can have the right responses.


Are you alert? Do you pay attention to poltics? If you are a grown man, and you consider yourself to be a man, a man should at the very least, know what the **** is going on, iwth his kids, with his jobs, iwth poltics.. i'm not politically active whatsoever but i read the news everyday, so I can stay alert. I know what my child is into and what he is not. What he likes what he doesn't. There is no excuse for not being informed about the thigns going on in your life.


Attentiveness - Showing the worth of a person or task by giving my undivided concentration.


How do you expect all this how pieces of ass to give you their undivided attention when you don't give a **** about anyone but you? When that customer at work is complaining.. listen. and actually give a ****. it's the small ****. character isn't built in a DJ book or a set of tactics, it's built brick by brick of constantly doing the right thing.

When that person at your job is telling you to do something are you taking notes or are you just bobbing your head hoping he or she goes away?


Availability - Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the wishes of those I serve.

It has been proven time and time again, that the quickest way to wealth, is to make other people rich. Men of character are not selfish. they are selfless. They genuinely care. I tell all my clients, they have 24x7 access to me and I'll be damned if I don't mean it. If you call me at 2am I will pick up the phone just like it was 2pm. My needs and wants are secondary of the people I serve. Of course, there is somewhat of a line when it comes to women, but i'm not serving my woman.

if my son wants to go outside and run around and wants me to watch him to try to dribble a basketball, I don't care what i'm doing, he is my priority. This is how you build character.



Boldness - Confidence that what I have to say or do is true, right, and just.


Even when it does not benefit me. I have convictions and I stick by them for better or for worse. I have a very definitive sense of right and wrong.


Contentment - Realizing that true happiness does not depend on material conditions.



It truly doesn't. I had this conversation with someone in the mature man forum. I've been there, I AM there and I tell you that it isn't' money that makes me happy, there are not enough cars, women, ass, clothes, houses on earth that can make you truly content. Only YOU knows what makes you happy. I know what makes me happy and it's the relentless chase of my dreams, knowing day in and day out i'm pushing myself to new limits that I did not know I was capable of achieving.

going to sleep at night knowing you kicked ass and took names today. that makes me happy. knowing you had a to do list of 50 things long.. and marked every last thing off, makes me happy. knowing that everyday I'm striving to become a better overall person makes me very happy. The money is secondary and always will be.

Creativity - Approaching a need, a task, or an idea from a new perspective.


In the laws of success there is an entire chapter devoted to imagination.
I would suggest you read it.

Decisiveness - The ability to recognize key factors and finalize difficult decisions.



Make difficult decisions and stick by them. This applies to women as well. Leave her and LEAVE her. AS the bible says, let your yes be yes and let your no be no.


Dependability - Fulfilling what I consented to do, even if it means unexpected sacrifice.


Doing what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it.

If you are at work and you tell your boss you are going to have something done by tomorrow, you better damn well break your neck making sure it gets done by tomorrow, right, or else you are not dependable. People need to know they can depend on you to be there when others won't be. You do what you say you are going to when you say you are going to do it.


Determination - Purposing to accomplish right goals at the right time, regardless of the opposition.



There is nothing you can't do if you truly want it bad enough. That is not cliche.

Diligence - Investing my time and energy to complete each task assigned to me.


instead of spending countless hours trying to figure out how to get a woman to spread her legs. when you become a man of character, high quality women will be spreading their legs without even thinking about it like butter on a dixie cafe dinner roll.

 

[backbreaker]

Discernment - Understanding the deeper reasons why things happen.


This is why I am making this post now. Most men look at women, they want, and then in an instant, they look at themselves and deep down they think they aren't worthy and to be honest, there is no amount of game, working out or clothes that will remove this feeling until you ARE worthy. Worthieness has nothing to do with looks (looks help but good looking guys aren't necessarily worthy, there are a buch of hot peices of ass that aren't worthy of me). you look at yourself and know you have not done anything to deserve to date a woman of this calibur.

it's like... you ever go car shopping... and you end up at a car lot and you are looking at a car and the dealer asks you to test drive it and you know good and damn well you can't afford it. you know that feeling. you don't say anything because you really, really want it, but yo know you have not done enough, you have not fixed your credit, you have not gotten a better job, you do not have the right spending habits to buy this car.

I assure you, i've been there, and i'm here now. I have no doubt whatsoever I could walk into any bar in la and take a woman home if i so chose, a good looking one. women want to be around me, becuase i exude not looks (i am hot), but the vibe i give off is look.. what hte **** do YOU bring tot he able becuase I know what I bring. I bring it everyday. what do you bring. And this is not something that is done over night.

Discretion - Recognizing and avoiding words, actions, and attitudes that could bring undesirable consequences.

Learn when to shut up. espically online. learn that everything you do has a consequence. learn some self control. raise above the crowd.


Enthusiasm - Expressing joy in each task as I give it my best effort.


Smile. Everything you do you should give it your all everyday. People should actually WANT to be around you.

When you get to the point where you are a boss or own a company enthusiasm is one of the most important factors you can have. when people look at their boss and see they are genuinely enthusiastic, they will do the same.


Faith - Confidence that actions rooted in good character will yield the best outcome, even when I cannot see how.

Do not be dishonest with people. I'd rather you respect me than like me. People, espically people of character will appreciate your frankness.


Forgiveness - Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and not holding a grudge.

Boy do I have a list of them. And i'm on talking terms with every last one of them. I don't want anything from them, I just have too much going on in my life to hold any ill will against anyone for past digressions.



Generosity - Carefully managing my resources so I can freely give to those in need.

let me ask you a seriously question. how many of you guys here give anything to a charity?

Every man should have a hobby, a job they are passionate about and a charity they believe in. Give back what was so freely given to you.

A certain percentage of everything I make goes to two charities, automatically without me even thinking about it, The Grayson Jockey Club Research Foundation and Big Brothers Big Sisters.

I also have a "little brother" who comes over here every week, usually on Saturdays. his mom is an addict, last week I could tell he did not want to go home so I let him stay the weekend. he's a good kid, tore up family with no father figure and the mom is strung out. I drop him off food usually during the week to make sure he is eating.

Give a ****, for no other reason but to give a ****. I don't expect anything from this kid, but I want the kid to have a fighting chance in life.
When he grows up and becomes successful the only thing I want him to do is do the same thing for someone else. Give someone a chance.



(also, if you want to see your assometer go up.. let them get ahold of the fact that you do something like this. it's damn near a rule of law she must blow you.. don't do it for this though)

I am in a position to give back, therefore I give back. it's that simple

everyone can give something back to something. you don't have to be Andrew Carnegie to donate something to a charity that you half ass give a damn about.

Hospitality - Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, or conversation to benefit others.


See above.


Humility - Acknowledging that achievement results from the investment of others in my life.


This is one I have had to work on probably harder than most. I can get quite arrogant. But the older I get, the more I realize that I did not do it all myself.

Initiative - Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it.

There are three types of people

the person that does something without being asked

the persont hat does something when asked

the personw ho does not do something when asked

which of the three do you think is the most successful? Which are YOU


Joyfulness - Maintaining a good attitude, even when faced with unpleasant conditions.

Maintaining an upbeat attitude when you have not been laid in three years and you are walking around with holes in your shoes (been there).

Justice - Taking personal responsibility to uphold what is pure, right, and true.


Always strive to do what is right and try not to do what is wrong.


Loyalty - Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to those I serve.

While i don't "serve" my fiancee, I do go out of town alot. And when I'm gone I go out of my way to let her know I miss her and I'm thinking of her, and even though I could cheat, I don't.


Orderliness - Arranging myself and my surroundings to achieve greater efficiency.

Ben Franklin's 13 virtues this is the third one and IMHO the most important one. there is a time and place for everything. stop putting things off and do things when they need to be done, even fi you do not warn to do them.
Do you think the president WANTS to get up at 3am when he's tagging machille from behind to talk about whats' going on in another aprt of the world? Do you think Manny pacaquo wants to go and work out in the gym for 4hours a day? They want the results.

Patience - Accepting a difficult situation without giving a deadline to remove it.


This one is tough.

"as long as it takes". That's all I can say. You will become good with women not by X date or by 6 months.. you will become good with women when you have had enough experience to be good with women, no sooner or later. Your business will be successful when you in a position to make it successful, no sooner or no later.

you will lose weight when you burn enough fat off your body to look like you want. no sooner or later. you are not a failure if this is not done by X date, it just was not time yet.


Punctuality - Showing esteem for others by doing the right thing at the right time.

Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it.

 

[backbreaker]

Security - Structuring my life around that which cannot be destroyed or taken away.

Learn a skill where people will always need you, and that you do not need them.

I am somewhat of a jck of all trades; i play the horses, and i do well enough where I really don't need to work whatsoever. in fact I don't pay myself. Well I do pay myself but that check goes directly in my savings account. I am a computer tech, I'm a decent flash programmer, those are all skills I can fall off on. But people will always need me because I can sale a lapdance to a stripper. I'm good. you put me in any sales situation and within a few months I will out sale everyone there, and I mean that 100% I have proven it time and time again. My closing rate with customers I talk to now is about 47% and it would be higher than that if I didn't turn away customers. I'm very picky about who I work with. I told a guy today thanks but no thanks. I actually have a waiting list for clients to take now, we can't take anymore work.

I could go to a car lot tomorrow, anyone, and by the time I know all the specs for all the cars off the top of my head, I will out sale every salesman there. I understand the dynamics of selling better than anyone I have met except probably one guy I have met who does nothing but goes to car tent sales around the country and sales. he makes damn near 1 million a year doing nothing but selling cars. I not only get you to pay full price/sticker, you will fill like you are getting more of a bargain when dealing with me becuase I add value.

This is something that can never be taken away from me. It's a skillet I have developed and I can always fall back on.
If everything in my life went to **** tomorrow I could go get a job selling infiniti's and our life style would change very little if t at all.


Self-Control - Rejecting wrong desires and doing what is right.


needless to say.


Thriftiness - Allowing myself and others to spend only what is necessary. Be frugal.

You do not have to be a monk or anything but learn how to save money.


Tolerance - Realizing that everyone is at varying levels of character development.

everyone is not where I am. that's why I don't argue. I understand that this person is doing the best that they can at this particular time and that's that.








THIS is what makes you look at a woman and say "look broad.. what do you bring to the table, because i exclude all this ****".

when you have character, I don't have to tell you to go to the gym, you will take care of yourself because you should. I don't workout 5 days a week (down from 6) becuase I want to be hot, I work out becuase I have an able body and I should take care of it. men take care of themselves.

wen you do these things. People start to look up to you. Start to ask for your advice, your priorities automatically put themselves in order.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

You dare the wrath of the anti-morality crowd!

Oh wait...unmoral people are reserved to lesser standings in life...mind over matter.

There is so much vitriol spewed here against having a moral backbone!

I would say these "men" should be having more success with women, as they have so much in common.

It is our place to be a rock of principles and strength. (Without being a save-a-ho, of course.)

Backbreaker, you are a credit to this forum.

 

[ATP]

Good post(s) there. Most of those are very admirable traits in people. Unfortunatly there are so many people out there that lacks them. People are cheap, self centered, insecure, intolerant, etc... Showing people these traits is like throwing pearls to pigs, they are undeserving of them.

As a misanthrope I don't exhibit all these traits towards the general people. I do try to give everyone a basic respect, be polite and friendly; help people if they are in need (i.e. someone has fallen and broken a leg, give an old person my seat at the bus, help someone who is being assaulted). To my friends I try to exhibit nearly all these traits to the best of my abilities.


There are some traits I don't find very appealing though.

Forgiveness:

There are small things people do to other people that can be easily forgiven but there are other things far more serious that shouldn't be forgiven. When someone do something towards another that questions their right to exist or defy their most inner core beliefs then it is not healthy to forgive that person. I.e. if someone is raped, someone killed someone close to you, someone bullying you, cheats on you/knowingly gives you STDs/abuse you, someone doing something morally awful towards you then forgiving them is the same thing as saying it was allright.

There are several people in my life I will never ever forgive. It is not something I think about during a general day because I'm occupied with... living life. Forgiveness is a necessary trait to be able to build relationships with other people but if someone does something which goes against everything you are then I don't see a problem with never forgiving that person. Not forgiving serious things like that I'd say is a mandatory trait to be able to live a joyful life.


Generosity

What you are doing is great for this kid. However it seems people are really keen och throwing money away on charities, paying for the food and medicine in overcrowded countries, creating false crutches that will make them collapse if it was removed.

Generosity is very important but I do take the satanistic approach to this, why should I care about people I don't know? People love to throw money away on causes they see on the TV. Haiti, throw cash there, Tsunami catastrophe, throw money there... yet there are so many who doesn't give the same generosity towards their friends. They don't sit down and listen, they don't bother to really dig down and help those around them who might need it. It is easier to cast the blind eye and just laugh it off.

When someone says they are giving money to charity I see a person who buys a clean conscience, when someone stick to their friends in all weathers then I see someone who actually give a damn. Giving money isn't generosity per se. Spending time and actually getting emotionally involved like you are with the kid is true generosity, at least imo.


Overall though a really good post + reps.

 

[backbreaker]

Good post(s) there. Most of those are very admirable traits in people. Unfortunatly there are so many people out there that lacks them. People are cheap, self centered, insecure, intolerant, etc... Showing people these traits is like throwing pearls to pigs, they are undeserving of them.

As a misanthrope I don't exhibit all these traits towards the general people. I do try to give everyone a basic respect, be polite and friendly; help people if they are in need (i.e. someone has fallen and broken a leg, give an old person my seat at the bus, help someone who is being assaulted). To my friends I try to exhibit nearly all these traits to the best of my abilities.


There are some traits I don't find very appealing though.

Forgiveness:

There are small things people do to other people that can be easily forgiven but there are other things far more serious that shouldn't be forgiven. When someone do something towards another that questions their right to exist or defy their most inner core beliefs then it is not healthy to forgive that person. I.e. if someone is raped, someone killed someone close to you, someone bullying you, cheats on you/knowingly gives you STDs/abuse you, someone doing something morally awful towards you then forgiving them is the same thing as saying it was allright.

There are several people in my life I will never ever forgive. It is not something I think about during a general day because I'm occupied with... living life. Forgiveness is a necessary trait to be able to build relationships with other people but if someone does something which goes against everything you are then I don't see a problem with never forgiving that person. Not forgiving serious things like that I'd say is a mandatory trait to be able to live a joyful life.


Generosity

What you are doing is great for this kid. However it seems people are really keen och throwing money away on charities, paying for the food and medicine in overcrowded countries, creating false crutches that will make them collapse if it was removed.

Generosity is very important but I do take the satanistic approach to this, why should I care about people I don't know? People love to throw money away on causes they see on the TV. Haiti, throw cash there, Tsunami catastrophe, throw money there... yet there are so many who doesn't give the same generosity towards their friends. They don't sit down and listen, they don't bother to really dig down and help those around them who might need it. It is easier to cast the blind eye and just laugh it off.

When someone says they are giving money to charity I see a person who buys a clean conscience, when someone stick to their friends in all weathers then I see someone who actually give a damn. Giving money isn't generosity per se. Spending time and actually getting emotionally involved like you are with the kid is true generosity, at least imo.


Overall though a really good post + reps.

watch a horse cry in front of you for 5 hours in the most pain you can possibly imagine from grass sickness, and no one be able to do anything about it except put him or her down and get back to me on the money doesn't mean anything. horses can't help themselves, we can, so we give money for research.

A horse should not be put down just because his leg is broken, and usually that is the case, because of the way their circulatory system is setup, if the frog in the foot can't pump blood back up to the heart the horse is damn near helpless.

 

[lakeshore]

With all do respect your post is basically saying.. "Am I perfect"

Although your [point is obviously well intentioned, everybody has flaws in their character. Doesn't make them a bad person nor does it lead to not getting decent women.

Just hope you're not a complete train wreck! (and I've known a couple train wrecks in my life time)

 

[Trader]

To the OP: you are a wise man.

And what is really interesting is that those characteristics are exactly what girls lack, and they yearn for a guy who actually embodies those traits.

I chatted with a girl and I mentioned to her: 'Girls will never forgive you, they may forget, but they will never forgive.'

She definitely agreed with me on that.

What's the fascinating was that later on, I told her about how I forgave someone and she was applauding that.

It is actually powerful to forgive, forgiveness is a sign of strength, not weakness. The inability to forgive indicates pettiness which is never powerful or seductive.

 

[ATP]

watch a horse cry in front of you for 5 hours in the most pain you can possibly imagine from grass sickness, and no one be able to do anything about it except put him or her down and get back to me on the money doesn't mean anything. horses can't help themselves, we can, so we give money for research.

A horse should not be put down just because his leg is broken, and usually that is the case, because of the way their circulatory system is setup, if the frog in the foot can't pump blood back up to the heart the horse is damn near helpless.

So put it down instead of letting it lie and writher in pain for five hours. It is sad but in the end it is just an animal. Do you give the same empathy towards the other animals who humans have enslaved? Did you care when egypt slaughtered their entire pig population because of the swine flu (which was completly unnecessary), did you care that UK slaughtered their cows when they got the mad cow disease? Do you care about the cruelty in the slaughtering process? Why do you care so much about a horse breaking its leg and still allow the further enslavement/degradation of horses in human service? Do you care about people living in appartments buying pets who are meant to be outside and instead the pets are confined to an appartment for the rest of their lives.

Not all charities are a waste of money but some are unfavors towards the things they are supposed to help. Many people just buy a clean conscience by sending cash to charities.

I chatted with a girl and I mentioned to her: 'Girls will never forgive you, they may forget, but they will never forgive.'

She definitely agreed with me on that.

What's the fascinating was that later on, I told her about how I forgave someone and she was applauding that.

It is actually powerful to forgive, forgiveness is a sign of strength, not weakness. The inability to forgive indicates pettiness which is never powerful or seductive.

The problem with forgiveness is when people do ask for forgiveness they generally EXPECT to be forgiven. I remember reading about a case where a girl had been bullied for several years. The school board talked to the bully and she regretted it so she asked the girl for forgiveness because of what she had done.

She said she couldn't forgive her for what she had done (she had tried to kill herself because of the torment). So what happened next? The school board started pushing her to forgive her because she was suffering when she weren't forgiven. It was a pretty long post but the general thing was that the bullied girl turned out to be the bad guy because she couldn't forgive someone who had questioned her very right to exist.

Forgiveness is all fine and dandy but most of the people who ask for forgiveness doesn't really care all that much about asking for forgiveness more than cleaning their bad conscience. If someone say they won't forgive something then the other person will make the other guy out to be the bad guy.

TBH I don't care if not forgiving serious things are unattractive or unseductive because respecting my own feelings and my own self worth is more important than any woman in the world. If I traded away my self respect how could I ever look myself in the mirror again?

 

[HolyG]

I really like this. And I know that I have values to be expounded on....however, I cannot think of any serious PASSIONS that I have. does that mean I need to keep exploring what's out there?

 

[backbreaker]

yep. you will know it when you find it.