Came across a posting in the Discussion forum on rebuilding a damaged reputation. While difficult, it's not impossible. I did a quick web search to see if someone had written on the issue (to save me the trouble), and came across the following, which although not exactly addressing the issue, may nonetheless prove helpful for those here trying to change their reputations for the better.
Without further ado:
Changing Your Reputation
Things You Can Try
I know that changing your rep may sound frivolous, even silly, to those who could care less what others think of them. But there are people out there who had a bad string of luck and maybe need some help getting other people to give them "a second chance to make a first impression". There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your reputation, as long as you know that there are no guarantees your new rep will be any better. If you sacrifice good friends for the sake of some invites to "cool" parties, you may be a big LOSER in the end. Any change you make to yourself in the name of reputation should never include exchanging old friends for new ones, or doing things you know are wrong or hurtful. It may happen that you get a new crowd, but you should never sacrifice old friends in doing this. Don't "burn any bridges", don't turn on old pals to impress new ones, and never turn into a nasty gossip hound. Nobody really likes people who build their life by destroying the reps of others. No matter what changes you make to yourself in the name of a "better" social life, never let your quest turn you into something you are not. Always be true to your inner voice and your sense of right and wrong. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! No reputation in the world is worth losing what it is that makes you "you".
Exercise: find a sport you like and do it as much as possible. Get in to shape or get in to better shape.
Change your hair style, hair color or both.
Get a new "look". Find a new way of dressing, one that better reflects the person you want to be. This doesn't have to be expensive, you can find really cool clothes in thrift shops or consignment stores. Having a cool look is about personal style, not designer labels.
Find a "signature scent", one that is not too overwhelming but that people will identify with you. Use it sparingly, just enough for them to wonder where that great smell is coming from.
Smile.
Stay true to your hobbies and interests and be proud of them, make them "cool" to others just because you say they are!
Grab a cup of confidence! Even if you are Jell-O™ inside, never let 'em see you sweat on the outside.
Care about other people - for real.
Conform, just a little, to the "positive social norms" of the groups you want to be a part of. Ignore or avoid the "negative social norms".
Here's the hard part: have some close friends or family tell you what they really love about you, and what they could live without. Tell them to be truthful and not worry about hurting your feelings. Listen to what they say and take it to heart, this is how others see you. Make a promise to strengthen your good points and eliminate (or at least tame) your bad ones.
Smile some more.
Swallow your shyness and try to be outgoing. Easier said than done for sure. Start easy by smiling at people who catch your eye in the hallway. Wave at friends from across the hall. Try to say "hi" to one new person everyday.
Change your study habits. Being a better student can help your confidence and positively influence how others see you.
Join a school club, committee or team. Get to know people who share your interests.
Own up to any truths about your "bad rep" and tell people you have really changed and just want a chance to prove it. Then really prove it!
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It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...
[This message has been edited by Sting (edited 05-12-2002).]
Without further ado:
Changing Your Reputation
Things You Can Try
I know that changing your rep may sound frivolous, even silly, to those who could care less what others think of them. But there are people out there who had a bad string of luck and maybe need some help getting other people to give them "a second chance to make a first impression". There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your reputation, as long as you know that there are no guarantees your new rep will be any better. If you sacrifice good friends for the sake of some invites to "cool" parties, you may be a big LOSER in the end. Any change you make to yourself in the name of reputation should never include exchanging old friends for new ones, or doing things you know are wrong or hurtful. It may happen that you get a new crowd, but you should never sacrifice old friends in doing this. Don't "burn any bridges", don't turn on old pals to impress new ones, and never turn into a nasty gossip hound. Nobody really likes people who build their life by destroying the reps of others. No matter what changes you make to yourself in the name of a "better" social life, never let your quest turn you into something you are not. Always be true to your inner voice and your sense of right and wrong. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! No reputation in the world is worth losing what it is that makes you "you".
Exercise: find a sport you like and do it as much as possible. Get in to shape or get in to better shape.
Change your hair style, hair color or both.
Get a new "look". Find a new way of dressing, one that better reflects the person you want to be. This doesn't have to be expensive, you can find really cool clothes in thrift shops or consignment stores. Having a cool look is about personal style, not designer labels.
Find a "signature scent", one that is not too overwhelming but that people will identify with you. Use it sparingly, just enough for them to wonder where that great smell is coming from.
Smile.
Stay true to your hobbies and interests and be proud of them, make them "cool" to others just because you say they are!
Grab a cup of confidence! Even if you are Jell-O™ inside, never let 'em see you sweat on the outside.
Care about other people - for real.
Conform, just a little, to the "positive social norms" of the groups you want to be a part of. Ignore or avoid the "negative social norms".
Here's the hard part: have some close friends or family tell you what they really love about you, and what they could live without. Tell them to be truthful and not worry about hurting your feelings. Listen to what they say and take it to heart, this is how others see you. Make a promise to strengthen your good points and eliminate (or at least tame) your bad ones.
Smile some more.
Swallow your shyness and try to be outgoing. Easier said than done for sure. Start easy by smiling at people who catch your eye in the hallway. Wave at friends from across the hall. Try to say "hi" to one new person everyday.
Change your study habits. Being a better student can help your confidence and positively influence how others see you.
Join a school club, committee or team. Get to know people who share your interests.
Own up to any truths about your "bad rep" and tell people you have really changed and just want a chance to prove it. Then really prove it!
------------------
It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...
[This message has been edited by Sting (edited 05-12-2002).]
