Changing the way of thinking, how?

[Sacrifice]

is it any tips on how you can change the way of thinking?
I want to "restart" my life, but its kinda hard when you're thoughts and thinking are the same as before you trying to change yourself.

I'm trying not to thing about or getting those thoughts, but somehow they are coming back when I'm doing something that relates to it

 

[The Damned]

is it any tips on how you can change the way of thinking?
I want to "restart" my life, but its kinda hard when you're thoughts and thinking are the same as before you trying to change yourself.

I'm trying not to thing about or getting those thoughts, but somehow they are coming back when I'm doing something that relates to it

Ive tried to blank out my thoughts in the past myself mate because its not only a way of thinking, its been the way of my life and the things that have happened that made me this way.
Im going to try and blank it out and try and live like a new person next year with a new identity altogether, whether that remains intact who knows?

 

[Snow Plowman]

Focus on one thought at a time, the more you act under a specific thought is the more it will become your automatic state of mind. This could take weeks and months to change depending on how ingrained your old thought patterns were.

 

[Tear Gas]

you just gotta get in the "i dont give a **** attitude" trust me, you'll feel better about everything. Just say or do what you want, when you want to. Who cares about other people and when gaming chicks, just act all nonchalant about everything and dont act too interested, it'll actually make her want you more. Just think about it, what's the worst that can happen? she'll tell you to **** off..oh well life will go on

watch Fight Club and just see how Tyler Durden acts..he's all cool and chill about everything cause he knows lifes too short to live with regrets, so he does whatever he wants

 

[Mr. Wise]

Treat your transformation like you'd treat anything you'd want to be good at. You gotta get out there and do it. The key to success is repetition. No one is absolutely perfect their first time out and you live and learn by your mistake or better yet - learn by other people's mistakes. It can get painful and frustrating at times but eventually you'll start to catch on and grow from there.

 

[Interceptor]

Many times the PROBLEM is NOT the 'problem".
Each issue you have is connected to a deeper rooted issue.

If you don't look into yourself and try to find out what it is connected, perhaps an insecurity is due to a childhood event thattraumatized you, you will not have as much success as you would like. You must go in deep and dig out the 'weeds" ofthose thoughts.

Changing a WAYof thinking to a more beneficial, and more positive way of thinking is called REFRAMING.


ReFrame your thoughts.


"I hate rejection. Women must hate me. I always say and act stupid, I just can't seem to do anything right. And I never know what to say or do."



REFRAME.

"It does affect my EGO when I get rejected. Because my self image is so hooked on succeeding. I hate to fail. And what happens is that this rejection only makes me feel like I'm a loser. But of course I know I'm not. I just don't have the best skills to do this right. OR at least, to gain attraction and eventually, her interest. And anyway, how could she be 'rejecting' ME since she doesn't even KNOW me? It's silly. I know I'm a good person. I know I'm a Man. Sure, I've got some faults, I"m not perfect. And I know my 'approach" isn't that great. But I did seem to notice I acted fidgety. Maybe I shoudln't be too twitchy or fidgety. I also noticed that I zoned out sometimes.

I shoull be a little more Present and connected to the woman, I know I was distracted easily. SO it's hard to connect like the way I want to when I am like that. I also wasn't too confident, so I spoke with a low, meek voice. I wasn't projecting, and didn't have a constant and dynamic tone of voice. I came across a little weak, not too confident or masculine. No wonder she just wasn't into me. I need to pay a little moe attention to myself, and start doing things right from now on.

So in the end, this 'rejection'; which only exists in MY Mind, is just a chance to CHANGE for the Better. So it isnt that BAD for me afger all. How canm I get better if I don;t investigate and look deep into myself? This is an opportunity!! I welcome rejection!!

I want to get so good, and so confident that I can actually be more playful and tease womne! And actually build rapport and break it, just for fun! I'll create more attraction for the womn I'm really attracted to, and she'll defnitely getthe message that I'[m not needy or desperate, and I don';t hang on my Self Image or Validaton on HER. I don't NEED anything from her! I'm not ther to TAKE from her! This isn't so bad after all!"


It is an approach that lets you see the circumstance and challenge in a POSITIVE Light, so you can BENEFIT from it.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Interceptor : Yes, according to standard psychology the best way to cure these trauma's is to sit in a chair and talk about your problems, potentially for years on end, and just hoping for the best.

Reframing on the other hand is useful :
No = Yes, but
Short = Good thing in small package
bald = grow a goatee you'll look badass
etc...

The important part is to believe it.

If you want massive change in your life, well... it's gonna take drastic change in your day to day life. Somehow your question got me thinking of the saying "In the morning a gazelle wakes up and he knows he must run faster than the slowest gazelle or he will surely be eaten. In the morning the lion wakes up and knows that he must run faster than the slowest gazelle or he will starve. So, whether you are a lion or a gazelle, you still gotta run."

I truly believe that your best bet would be to do yourself the favour of forcing yourself through the DJ bootcamp... The long lost art of the boot camp done proper will change anyones life.

 

[Pimp101]

Interceptor hit the nail. These problems always have deep roots. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away. Reframing the problem is only part of the solution because while it might lift your mood that change disappears as soon as you switch states. The way I understand it these things come from our beliefs which come from our experiences. Those beliefs are the baseline we're talking about here. Its not a bad idea to lock yourself away for a while and think about where this is coming from. It worked for me. Read around the subject, knowledge only makes it easier. Just keep in mind that the solution isnt as easy as "just don't think about it". Recurring thoughts keep coming back for a reason. Its the same as the pain when you touch a hot stove except that its not your finger on a hot item but your beliefs in the wrong shape.