Changing the male AFC dynamic

[WestCoaster]

I grew up in a college town where students outnumbered residents and have mostly lived in college towns. The two most prevelant conversations I heard while growing up were "This is how drunk I got" and "This is the chick I picked up and screwed" and so forth.

So frankly, I'm bored with both topics, I've heard them a million times. Each PUA artist story here bores me to freaking tears. I don't care how and why you got with her and how you did it. You're boring me.

What does concern me is the AFC dynamic in this country and I'm hell-bent in getting rid of it. Also, about 99 percent of PUAs turned into sniveling AFCs once they get in a LTR or marriage. I've known plenty of PUAs who are now the worst married AFCs on the planet. They didn't learn the RIGHT things in their youth and that was how to be a man.

If you haven't been paying attention, Hollywood, commericals on radio and TV, billboards, books, songs, etc., is all directed to sucking the testosterone out of men. Just read these boards and the second a woman does something a little off-kilter, guys are screaming, "Why, why, why?" Hell, I don't know why, I do know you're being an AFC. Here's a clue: Get a great career, get interests, and get in shape and let the chips fall after that.

I wish guys would read the DJ Bible and articles here. Women are going to always pull weird sh-t, that's how they're wired. Work on things you can control and quit being an AFC.

I don't care if you picked up a chick at the club, I don't care how many you've slept with ... I've been bored with that topic for a couple of decades. What doesn't bore me is trying to change this AFC dynamic and it appears there are far and few between on these boards who are concerned with that.

 

[The_Next_Big_Thing]

AFCism in American Society

Exactly Westcoaster

I personally don't care about the teenagers in my classes stories on how they picked up a chick or how wasted that they got on the weekend. *yawn*

When these same kids get into a LTR, I look at how they are being treated and most of the time they are treated badly because they built THEIR happiness around external things.

This is plain stupidity and I watch the relationships either fall apart or become stale after only two or three weeks. They follow Hollywood to the T and it is disgusting.

Personally the best way to feel like a man is to join a sports program. I was outside of sports for a long while and I lost something inside of me. I then joined a soccer league and the testostorone started shooting through me and all of a sudden. I feel like a greek god.

Another thing that I thought about is that most men are not trained by their fathers or do not even have a father. This is why I cannot blame the kids for the lack of knowledge. I blame our generation and the previous generation for that loss. I say that us DJ's teach the youngins what to do.

The only way for someone to see the light is to help them out.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I was recently listening to the Tom Leykis show, and while his topics tend to simply be variations on a theme, this day he's made a comment about the reason guys are unable to man-up, get in touch with their inner A-Hole and put their own wellbeing before that of a woman's is due to the fact that this is the first generation to have been raised almost exclusively by single mothers. I could certainly see rationalizations behind this and I do agree, but I don't think he takes it far enough. This is at least the 3rd generation of males (I wont call them men) to be brought up since the Baby Boom who have been raised in a progressively demasculinized society. Single motherhood is only a symptom of the problem. I think far more damaging is the male raised by an emasculated Father and an 'empowered' mother. This is a recipe for AFCism and now we are seeing the first and second generations of males raised by AFC Fathers who willingly and voluntarily aquiesce to their AFCness (for lack of a better term).

Add to this a constant and progressively entrenched environment of feminine defined idealized states for the masculine in society that directly contradict how they percieve, behave and reinforce these ideals (i.e. feminized/romanticized mass media) and you can see the gigantic mountain a man must climb to set himself apart as traditionally masculine. All this in the face of a constant ridicule of even the pretense that anything masculine could in anyway be positive or anything more than laughable. Is it any wonder why men are a dying breed?

 

[WestCoaster]

The message gets lost

Since the majority of Americans are un-read, uneducated fools, they miss the message on the de-masculinity going on.

Example ... the knee-jerk reaction is to be more macho, beat up women, and be a jerk. Leykis would be an example of a guy who is a reactionary and doesn't get it.

Actually, I'm not opposed to feminism, but like every other movement in the history of mankind, it went too far. Instead of focusing on voting rights, equal pay, and so forth, things I endorse, wide-spread man-hating was brought into it. Once the "all men are evil" theme was brought in, the message was lost.

Then as you noted, add the single family/kids being raised by moms only deal ... you have a complete, freaking mess.

I have some problems with men today (at least in the U.S): One, the men not being leaders anymore; men always having to clear things or ask wifey for permission ("gotta check with the boss"); men not raising sons, men worrying and crying like wimps because they were dumped by some girlfriend who wasn't worth much anyway ... men/boys not focused on careers (read the high school board sometime .... very few are even thinking about their careers.) Where's their dads, their mentors? Why all they care about are girls and looking cool? Got news for them: The guys thinking about their careers will be hiring and FIRING them some day.

And sadly, very few on the mature man board are focused on staying cool, calm, collected in the face of adversity. Many are scrambling to get back ex-gfs who sh-t on them. A real man shouldn't be doing that, IMO (and yes, for the record I've been as big a puss as anyone and have been a royal AFC).

Whatever happened to the classy guy, who opens doors for women, dresses nice, doesn't cuss every other word, who is moving up the career ladder letting obstacles be just that, obstacles; focused on being a good person and not letting minor things rattle him? Where is that man?

Heck, even half of this DJ site says "neg hit" -- be a jerk, don't call her, screw as many as possible and so forth (never mind unwanted pregnancies and STDs). The good parts of this site are lost with the equal bad posts and yes, some awful articles.

As much as I bag on the American woman here, the American man is a pretty pathetic creature, too.

 

[dietzcoi]

Agreed, westcoaster..

THe hunting friends I have who tell me "I have to get a kitchen pass to go hunting" - disgusting!!

I friend of mine who is also overseas just recently sent me a comment that I found very true:

"If we move back to the USA we will be doomed to live the way American women want us to live"

Very, very chilling....

I do not have all the answers but I can tell you the womens' liberation movement has contributed to a decline in our society.

On the other hand, maybe this is just the way societies go. THe romans grew effeminate and weak, and fell. Maybe we are just next. The Romans fell to Germanic barbarians, we are going to fall to Islamic fundimentalists (Look at France - too weak to deal with rioting mulim teenagers)

SUcks, doesn't it?

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

Good to hear from you dietzcoi. I took some time off from this board, which was a good thing to do.

Interesting discussion with a married AFC friend last night. He's the guy I was mentioning who moved in with his gf at age 21 or so, lived with her for four years, got married, and is around 40 now and freaking miserable ... he's always been miserable.

Had their first kid last year and he told me, "People who think a kid will bring you closer to your wife is dreaming. If anything, it's made things worse. We're always stressed out."

Another best friend, who has three kids and in a bad marriage said this, "Before you have a kid you go from living with a person you can barely tolerate, then after having a kid you go from living with a person you can't stand."

YIKES! I don't think marriage is that bad, my parents have been happily married for decades. But both of my friends listed above jumped the gun on moving in and getting married. They thought "it was time" and they "had to" do such things.

My only advice would be to be very, very careful in who you marry ... and if possible, find someone not wired into the man-hating stuff.

 

[biker_gixxer]

THe hunting friends I have who tell me "I have to get a kitchen pass to go hunting" - disgusting!!

Want to know what's worse? There are guys that are o.k. with this!! I can't help but look down and shake my head at them. One friend actually said he needed to ask for 'permission' to go out.

What the hell is wrong with these guys?

"If we move back to the USA we will be doomed to live the way American women want us to live"

Scary indeed...

 

[The_Next_Big_Thing]

I do believe in marriage and that they can work. Where I come from out in the good old fashion country where there is last hold outs unlike the disgusting city.

My dad doesn't ask my mom if he is going out. He just tells her and goes. They have been married for 42 years.

My aunts have been married for 35 years a piece (my uncle died so she is single and she is miserable. That is how love is supposed to work).

All of my family members never ask to do anything. My mom when I was 18 worked at a trading post and eventually spent so much time out that my dad sat her down and set her straight. I believe as long as you have the right attitude and don't do stupid stuff like that. Then you will be fine.

Make sure that you find the right woman as well. Man hating is a big business and has many followers. Be Wary gentlemen.

The_Next_Big_Thing

 

[WestCoaster]

So true

Man hating is a big business and has many followers. Be Wary gentlemen.

The_Next_Big_Thing [/B]

Wow! Ain't that the truth! Great quote: "Man hating is big business."

That's what it is, a business.

I posted this awhile back, but it bears repeating. While cruising across the West Seattle Freeway I saw a billboard for Dodge TRUCKS that read: "More reliable than most husbands."

This ad is wrong on so many fronts. One: It's derogatory toward men; and two, who in the f--k do they think are buying big Dodge trucks, women?!!

My friend (who has to drive this freeway every day) barely noticed it until I pointed it out, and it didn't rile me up until I got on to this board. We've been de-sensatized, de-programmed from being a man.

My friend had this great comeback: "The billboard should read, 'Puts out more than most wives.'"

Hilarious! But if that was put up, there would be protests and a lawsuit ... but if men get trashed, it's fair game.

What a messed up society we have.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Beware of judging the merits of marriage based on how long the couple has ben together.

I know horribly miserable couples who've been married for 50 years and if you asked the widowed wife of Pat Tillman, her husband was the greatest man God ever created in the year & a half they were married.

Marriage itself is not a goal.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Yep...

Everybody Loves Raymond
King of Queens

Maybe this is why I like House so much, LOL.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"Maybe this is why I like House so much, LOL."

Ya, my GF turned me onto that show! Great show!!

 

[GirlCrazy]

Great thread!

What does concern me is the AFC dynamic in this country and I'm hell-bent in getting rid of it.

You may have the best of intentions, but I question how many guys are ready to be lifted out of the "matrix". People resist change.

This board is a good start towards that goal, but I fear that the average guy on the street is going to choose years of conditioning over enlightenment.

So the question becomes: How can we lead our brothers away from ignorance? Is it even possible?

Maybe commando-style de-programming centers?

 

[Maverick001]

Hey Everyone,

It`s been awhile since I was on the board, almost a year in fact. I had to handle some things but more on that in a future post.

My take on this whole feminization of society situation is that it`s just the pendulum swinging that way and it will swing back. It`s just a matter of time. This doesn`t mean that we should be raising effeminate sons and masculated (is that a real word?) girls. No, let`s do our part to protect the next generation from this and let them shoulder the responsibility for the following one when it`s their turn.

When I was studying in University, often, to take a break, I would go to the library section that had books on sexuality. I literally stumbled into the section the first time when I was looking for something else and kept going back.

There was one intriguing book, whose title I can`t remember right now (I`ll look for it next time I`m in town) but whose subject was the existence of ancient matriarchies in human society. The author`s position was that originally this was the form of social organization.

The reason it broke down was that women recognized, developed and used their sexual power to control men. They discovered that they had greater sexual capacity in terms of orgasmic ability and frequency, that they could go longer without sex, have more intense orgasms then men, etc. and in those ancient matriarchies the women were being serviced all the time. Next, next, next. Of course, nothing was getting done and then things started falling apart.

Men, being the problem solvers that they are, figured out that women`s sexuality needed to be kept in check but it couldn`t be done by fighting fire with fire. Rather the opposite. Men also discovered their sexual strength and hidden talents. Men realized that they had the willpower and discipline to develop the ability to not ejaculate or to delay it as long as they wanted during a sexual coupling.

The woman could orgasm all she wanted but it was the man who was controlling the duration of the coupling and in a purely physical contest, the man will, more times than not, beat out the woman. This sexual domination of women along with their own unbridled indulgence of sex resulted in the end of those ancient matriarchies.

Now, in modern day it`s reversed because women are again re-discovering their sexual strength and men are forgetting theirs or perhaps being prevented from knowing about it to begin with. I think the latter may be the case.

It`s that primal rush you get when you overpower a woman`s resistance, but in a good way of course. Damn, I`m rambling. It`s late and I have to get up early for work tomorrow.

That`s my 2 cents anyway.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Agreed, westcoaster..

THe hunting friends I have who tell me "I have to get a kitchen pass to go hunting" - disgusting!!

I friend of mine who is also overseas just recently sent me a comment that I found very true:

"If we move back to the USA we will be doomed to live the way American women want us to live"

Very, very chilling....

I do not have all the answers but I can tell you the womens' liberation movement has contributed to a decline in our society.

On the other hand, maybe this is just the way societies go. THe romans grew effeminate and weak, and fell. Maybe we are just next. The Romans fell to Germanic barbarians, we are going to fall to Islamic fundimentalists (Look at France - too weak to deal with rioting mulim teenagers)

SUcks, doesn't it?

Dietzcoi

Although there would be some poetic justice in an Islamic Republic of France (and even more in an Islamic States of Amerika). The feminists causing their own demise

 

[The_Next_Big_Thing]

Re: So true

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Wow! Ain't that the truth! Great quote: "Man hating is big business."

That's what it is, a business.

I posted this awhile back, but it bears repeating. While cruising across the West Seattle Freeway I saw a billboard for Dodge TRUCKS that read: "More reliable than most husbands."

This ad is wrong on so many fronts. One: It's derogatory toward men; and two, who in the f--k do they think are buying big Dodge trucks, women?!!

My friend (who has to drive this freeway every day) barely noticed it until I pointed it out, and it didn't rile me up until I got on to this board. We've been de-sensatized, de-programmed from being a man.

My friend had this great comeback: "The billboard should read, 'Puts out more than most wives.'"

Hilarious! But if that was put up, there would be protests and a lawsuit ... but if men get trashed, it's fair game.

What a messed up society we have.

HAHA, I got one to top that one westcoaster.

I was listening to my radio on my way to see a girl on my country station (yeah I know it is AFC but I grew up on it and I enjoy it but anyways... ) and this McDonalds came on the air.

Quoted by the radio
Girlfriend: "Ok honey, I would really want a number 3 and a medium coke.
Boyfriend: "c'mon honey, I would really like to but I won't have enough money for my own food. You gotta understand. This isn't an easy thing to do if I did it."
Girlfriend: "I'm really hungry though."
Boyfriend: "No, I'm hungry as well"
Girlfriend: "Honey, whats your college jersey number, your shirt size, and your favorite soda size."
Boyfriend: "Number Three, Large, coke."
Girlfriend: "Alright, Go repeat this to the cashier"
Boyfriend: "Alright"
Me: *Puke*

 

[Lost In Translation]

Maverick001
My take on this whole feminization of society situation is that it`s just the pendulum swinging that way and it will swing back. It`s just a matter of time.

i don't think it will swing back

it's not a trend

feminism has control of the courts

alot of it is now LAW

feminism controls the media and advertising

you think they are going to give that up ?

billions of dollars in market share

i see some women as indivuals in the future giving up the power society has given them to assume their natural role in relationships

but i think the majority will not

they are level 3 programmed agents

they cannot be unplugged form the matrix

dolly/cleo/cosmo won't let them

the big corporations won't let them


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

" stop being insecure " i hate that saying. it's a cop out for not having enough balls to confront a woman about what she is doing THAT IS WRONG or potentially damaging to a long term relationship. – Lost In Translation

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation
Maverick001
My take on this whole feminization of society situation is that it`s just the pendulum swinging that way and it will swing back. It`s just a matter of time.

i don't think it will swing back

it's not a trend

feminism has control of the courts

alot of it is now LAW

feminism controls the media and advertising

you think they are going to give that up ?

billions of dollars in market share

Agreed, the pendulum thing is bullsh!t. Our children are born into it which means it would never go the other way even if they actually knew how things SHOULD really be.

Media, marketing and legal system all obviously a joke to men, you honestly think those 3 foundations which all play a huge role in moulding society is all of a sudden going to swing the other way? .....Yeah right.

 

[Ricky]

Man I hate it too. You know how often I have to purge out the AFC in me.

And it's amazing too because I stopped watching TV on a regular basis 10 years ago, and quit going to movies often then. At the time it was because i was very busy at school, but now I don't feel like I miss anything.

If anything I watch sports on TV, get my news off the internet and read.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by Ricky
And it's amazing too because I stopped watching TV on a regular basis 10 years ago, and quit going to movies often then. At the time it was because i was very busy at school, but now I don't feel like I miss anything.

If anything I watch sports on TV, get my news off the internet and read.

Same here. I can remember a time when I used to watch TV shows about 1997. The only thing I make any time to watch now is Football (when it's the season) and Hockey. I've worked as an art director in advertising for about 12 years and I can tell you that marketers know exactly what they're doing with regards to directly patronizing the female audience because they know that statistically women are the primary consumers in western society. Marketing to men has become increasingly difficult in the last 10-15 years because more and more men are switching off to traditional forms of media. This is why we see this constant over eroticization of advertising directed towards men in these venues. Beer, car, shaving cream and many other products that are male-specific use implicitly sexual themes because they know that for the few men actually watching (mostly sports) TV they have to hook them hard and fast. This also explains the popularity and rise of the new wave of men's magazines such as Maxim, FHM, Stuff, etc. These magazines are blatant marketing media - almost the entirety of these magazines (particularly Stuff) is dedicated to selling the Stuff that marketers are having difficulty in presenting via other forms of media. Add a bit of soft porn and a few insubstantial fluff articles to give it a sense of legitimacy and presto, it's a "magazine for guys."

The problem with this dynamic is that all it does is further the popularized notion for women that men are, by and large, just oversexualized children, so dumb that only sexual stimulus motivates them to do anything at all and validates their own mythology that men "need fixing" to save them from themselves and only uniquely feminine intuition and intelligence can put the world back on the right track. And again this is just the mythology we see promoted in every sitcom, every gender related article online or in print, every cover of Cosmo or Marie Claire, every romantic comedy movie, every commercial on TV, every billboard on the road, every magazine advertisement, any top 40 song on the radio and virtually any popularized media where the product being sold is primarily marketed towards women - the primary consumer. The message is women are invaluable and men are disposable. And this iddeology only becomes further internalized when women see that men are almost exclusively marketed to on a sexual level and see that issue of Maxim on his desk or see the Light Beer in his refridgerator and make the connection that men are "that dumb."