Changing my confidence and image

[Potbelly]

Watch Yo Mama on MTV if you really want to learn how to counter AMOG insults. I'm not saying start scolding their moms, but you can learn a lot of countering.

Eg: AMOG: Ladies first. *allows you to go first"
You: You're the one with the man boobs.

Example from one of the episodes. Good show.

yeah that show is great. One of my favorite lines was this:

GuyA: What's the different between your mom and a pretzel?
GuyB: ....wut....
GuyA: A PRETZEL NEVER HAD MY BALLS ON ITS CHIN!! :rockon: :crackup:

 

[Supremo]

I liked that line where you ask the AMOG to repeat what he said, then halfway through cut him off and be like "are you still talking?"

I tried that today at the store with one of my friends who pretty consistently cracks gay jokes... after I cut him off and asked if he was still talking, he said, "uh yeah, I was saying.." and I cut him off again. Then we just started laughing and went on.

So kinda worked. Kinda not.

 

[Fluid]

yeah that show is great. One of my favorite lines was this:

GuyA: What's the different between your mom and a pretzel?
GuyB: ....wut....
GuyA: A PRETZEL NEVER HAD MY BALLS ON ITS CHIN!! :rockon: :crackup:

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n1

 

[playa99]

lol oldschooler while i was reading the first page of this thread i was thinking exactly that LMAO.. yeah start boxing sounds stu0pid but it raises your confidence and sends out a message im not to be fvked with, i did it and now no-one will come near me

 

[Chase12]

Stop looking for approval.
Stop trying to be Perfect.
Stop repressing your feelings.
Stop second guessing yourself. Stop letting yourself be controlled byu what others have doen to you inthe past.

Let go of the resentment and shame other people have put into you.

Understand and appreciate yourself and whio you yreally are.

Being UNIQUE is better than BEING PERFECT.

You don't have to have anyone's Permisiion anymore.
You don't need anyone's valdiation anymore.
You don't need to make everybody happy and feel good.
You don't need to keep listening to negative self talk and accept other's negative beliefs about you.

Understand that your parents were not perfect.
Understand that the people whio have hurt you did so out of ignorance.

Let go of anger and resentment,.

Your voice is still worth being heard.
Your soul is still worth letting out and shining.
Your personality is good enough for anyone and everyone.

Your interests are interesting and yours and yours alone.

Let go of others "judging" you.They cannot.
Stop judging yourself.
You're too hard onyourself. Other people aren't even a third critical as you are to yourself.

Stop tryibg to be perfect.
Stop needing other's acceptance of you.
Stop being so obsessed with how you look or what you say.
let your personality shine through. Let your voice come through. Let your idead and thoughts come out.

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of them.

The only thing that matters truly in the entire universe is what YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE>

Your hapopiness.

That's it.

 

[Nightwing]

I'm in a really bad situation and I'm not quite sure how to get out of it, so I hope someone here can help me out.
To put it simply, I am a nice guy, always have been and probably always will. The problem is that I don't seem to possess a lot of confidence and stuff, and as result get teased by friends or other people frequently. Why? I have toruble responding back, trouble coming up with witty insults and comebacks. I stayed silent or apathetic, tried to ignore them, which made things worse. Frankly, I'm tired of it. Tired of feeling like a loser, tired of wondering why I am such a target. Don't feel sorry for me, go ahead and critique me.
All I want is to toughen up, not be such a pushover and actually reply to insults and teasing with confidence and some ****iness. It has gotten to the point where a teacher was worried that my friends' teasing seemed like real insults and she wasn't sure whether they were jpoking or not. Joking with friends is fine, but I think they take it a little too far and I don't cuz I'm so vulnerable so they have this image of how I am easy to tease, after so many years.

I think the biggest step is how I can respond to insults, teasing, or jokes made about me, and how I can imrpobve my self-image. SOrry for ty the long post, I hope you guys can help me out.
Thanks

Enchinda, I take it that you're in your teens being in the HS forum and all, but just to let you know, I had similar problems growing up as well. It's something that you'll ultimately grow out of as you get older, but as far as the confidence issue is concerned, you need to start focusing on your strong points first, develop them, and develop them some more. As you become more proficient at that, carry that same attitude/drive into other areas of your life, but not too many at once, it will overwhelm you right now. As far as the confidence thing goes, it's not going to happen overnight, it's more about having small successes that snowballs into larger ones.

Another thing it sounds like you may have problems with is self image. Let me recommend two books for you that you can get for little to nothing on some these websites as used books.

1. Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz--this will help you with how you see yourself

....and

2. The Projection Principle by George Weinberg--this will not only help you with how you see yourself, but how you cause others to see you and what to do about it.

Oh, and before I finish, another quick fix as far as helping out with the confidence/image thing is simply going to the gym and hitting the weights, you'd be amazed at how 4-6 weeks in the gym will do things like improve your posture and even have a more confident walk. Check out a book called Massive Muscles in 10 Weeks by Ellington Darden.

But as I said before, re-programming yourself and how you see yourself takes time, just remember to start small.

 

[Nightwing]

Start boxing...
No seriously.

I agree, wrestling was one of the ways I did it. Boxing helps out in very much the same ways.

 

[enchinda9]

Sorry to bring up an old thread, but I figured it's time I gave an update.
Honestly, I feel like in the two-three months that I have lost posted, I have yet to make any progress. Some people mentioned how there's a difference between joking with friends and outright teasing. The best way I can describe my situation is like this: Although we may be joking around with friends, I find that I am the target of jokes more so than anyone else.

I'm still working on comebacks and self confidence, but I feel like it's not enough to project confidence, I need to learn how to respond to these jokes in a way that will get me respect and stuff. For example, people in a club I'm in joke that the main purpose of the club is just to make fun of me, as a couple of my friends are in there and they throw jokes and whatnot at me constantly.Like I said earlier, I'm awful with the comebacks and am not really sure how to hit back. These aren't the you're gay, you're a fag kind of jokes. These are more like jokes that are somewhat personal at times, but made in a joking manner.

TO put it simply: I don't know how to respond to jokes or attacks made on me, whether personal or not, whether joking or not, and I'm having trouble distinguishing since they are made so often. Often, some of my other friends have to step in and tell others to lay off, and while I appreciate that, it just makes me look even weaker.

Thanks

BTW, I'm a junior in high school, and I feel like if I don't do something soon, I will never be able to outgrow it.

 

[The Grey Fox]

these guys aren't your friends man, they're just using you, you don't need those losers, just work on improving yourself and just completely forget about those guys.

The advice given on this thread is stuff that works, personally I don't do many comebacks because I don't bother wasting my time on people who have nothing better to do than try and get you down. I just completely blank whoever is talking **** and always hold my head high. It works, I mean just put yourself in their shoes, you are feebly trying to impress your friends by mocking some guy (you) and all he does is pays no attention to you, holds his head high with a smile on his face whenever he makes eye contact with anyone. Wouldn't that shut you up?

The best thing with that is as you get used to it your brain actually filters the useful stuff from the bull**** and you ignore the jerks subconsciously, so you don't even have to hear it at all

Just try this and see how it works and remember to always hold your head up!

 

[1life]

Don't let it get to you..

Lame example:

Him: What's up faggot?
You: Nothing man...what did you do this weekend? Still sucking ****s for money?
Him: Nah man, I stopped doing this..you were killing my business..word on the street is that you are the greatest **********..
You: Ahh...Me sucking ****s? The closest thing to a **** that I sucked was your momma's 1inch ****oris bro..

blablabla...you know the pattern..just don't take what they say personally and answer back..sometimes you will have ****ty comebacks, so just laugh it off..who gives a ****.

 

[naes420]

Nice guys finish last.
You're running out of gas.
Your sympathy will get you left behind.

sad truth..

not really, your advice is far to influenced by this fake, and very wrong DJ bible, girls in HS want a nice guy. They want to feel protected, thats just how it is in reality, and not the fakeass DJ BIBLE.

I come to help, just dont act liek such a *****, just tell them to stop or get the **** out of your life, better no friends then ones you dont like, i was in that boat for a little while. Laughed when i got accepted into an 8 year med program and OHSU. i win

also, learn, mediation. i can get you a link to some tapes to buy, the **** is INCREDIBLE, i have litteraly been able to walk out of my own body as kind of like, a ghost, and walk around, actualy seeing myself meditate the whole time...like dreaming when you are awake....it helped me get through bad times many times, i cant explain how, but it has. send me a pm ill snd you a l;ink to some tapes u can buy for it.