Changes once you acquire wealth.

[Oxide]

This was inspired by a couple of posts I've recently ran across.

We have a number of successful people on this board. It is something i am actually very proud of, and this is who this thread is directed at.


We all know that money changes people. However, my question is, how does the money you've aquired change the people you associate with?

For example - your family. Now that you have money, do they suddenly start asking for favors, how often? What reasons do they give you? What attitude do your parents have now that you make more money than them? Come holidays, do they beg you to come over, how do they fight over your attention?


Your friends - what are your friends expectations now that you are living well? When you go out with best friends, are you the one who is expected to pay? How well do you treat them when birthdays come around? Do they feel jealous and joke about you now? Do they remind you of things they used to do for you back in the day?


I am very curious since many of us aspire to be rich without realizing that success comes at different types of sacrifices.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Well, I'm probly not the ideal respondant to this question, but I've litterally gone from being a week away from living on the street as my last option to turning things around and now I'm making more money than my parents put together, although I wouldn't call myself rich as of yet.

I'm of the type that I will not discuss in detail of how much money that I have or make. It prevents alot of the stuff that you're talking about.

It definately has changed the people that I associate with... in general the people I associate with are generally more positive attitudes than some of my former friends.

As far as old friends... since I'm more or less the same person as they already know, it's no different... except that if they ask to borrow money there's less hesitation because I don't have to pull the "I can lend you money on condition that I get it back."

I haven't come across those that outright try and drag me down yet, so I can't comment.

 

[SamePendo]

Scary Pimp.. you're young. What do you work as?

 

[So pimp its scary]

I'm an air quality technician. In short that means that I sell, repair, and maintain air quality products... like air purifiers, furnaces, ac's, humidifiers, air filters, etc.

I also run a small e-bay based business on the side.

Also, I am part owner of my house (the bank owns most of it still) and just last month I got some tenants.

Without a car of my own, the biggest reason I'm doing so well is mostly from lack of expenses.

 

[iLoveCookies]

I am poor, really poor, so is my family however I live in a an area that houses 1/2 the Fortune 500 companies. There are alot of rich douche bags in the area I am in, however I know and met alot of people with ALOT of money and so far it really only depends on the person.

I have several friends that are filthy rich and are amazingly generous (for example: if something happened to my parents they would take me in as their own, give me the shirt of their backs, although I doubt that would happen because they could probably buy a whole Macy's without blinking, but that's only because they know I would do the same thing for them, and I mean not like help out with dishes but take a bullet for any of them or their relatives)

However some of the people I know are completely opposite. They are very stingy and not only that but it seems that along with the stinginess comes alot of fakeness (for example: we will go get something to eat and lets say the tab comes out to $21.00 they would ask for the waiter to bring separate checks to make sure they dont pay the extra $1.00 and as far as fakeness is concerned they will pretend to do anything for you until they actually have to shell out any real effort)

In conclusion, I would like to say that it doesn't really matter if you always had money or just come across it at a certain time. It really depends only on the person and that is it.

Its a sad world we live in

my $0.02

 

[Advantage]

Thats an interesting topic. Its something I'm facing at the moment, although I'm not RICH yet. I am in a job where I, like scary pimp earn more than my parents, and any of my friends at my age.

Financial wealth has brought me into different situations - there've been some where you are not sure if you are dealing with people with genuine intentions, or people who want to take what you have. For instance, I was recently with family at a family friends house, meeting extended family for the first time. a cousin of mine who I'd just met for the first time wasn't warm to any member of my family at any point in the meeting. Not that he was cold, but he just didn't make an effort. When it came to me though, he made a point of coming to spend time with me, speaking to me about big plans, plans for the future, getting to know us (ie me), doing deals together and all that sort of thing.

I wasnt sure how to take this, given that we'd only just met, and this seemed to be out of his way and not his natural character giving his attitude towards the rest of my family. HOwever, on observing the rest of his family, they have supported mine in times of need so should I just take this as returning their generosity?


Another situation is where acqaintances who I'd never spent time with or discussed anything more personal than the weather now wanted to spend time with me. They would corner me at parties asking for tips on money, help in getting jobs like mine, make a point of calling me to see how I was doing etc etc. Now this is not necessarily evil behaviour, but when none of this existed before news of my income spread I wonder how genuine this persons motives were.

Friends of mine have generally been very genuine though - they actually make a point of not asking anything of me more so than normal, and not discussing my earnings. I can't remember any of my close friends ever asking me how much I earnt despite knowing it wasn't small. Seems a small thing, but that means a lot to me. I think in their minds, their actions were geared towards not changing the dynamics of our relationship, and not appearing any different in my eyes.

Of course, strangers generally act much more friendly towards you when they believe you hold wealth. Sometimes its embarassing how fake they are without realising. Once at a party, ppl were making small talk with most of us meeting each other for the first time. Ask the talk went to "so, what do you do with your time?" I subtly hinted at what I do, which got confused with another job. One person in the group started poking fun at my mistaken job role, until I corrected him with my actual job. My actual job is a sharp contrast with what he thought I did, and in a flash his face changed, attitude, and general demeanor. He switched from taking the piss, to sucking up to me in 0.12 seconds flat. Thats what I mean when I say its embarassing, not for me, but for them. Everyone around the table recognises the situation but them.

Anyways, so ends my 2 pence.

 

[BigFoot]

It all depends on how you handle it. Alot of affluent people don't show it (unless you look closely) so it doesn't change their relationships much if at all. Many people with money worked a long time to acquire it, so they consider it an achievement not really a means to material things, and they know happiness is not dependent on money. Money means freedom, mobility, options in life. Having a huge TV
means nothing. People who have worked for it typically understand it and can handle it better. Ever see the stories about mega-lottery winners "losing it" after they win ? People with money may not look it (driving fancy car or wearing expensive watches) but they will often show little worry about it , buy things like cars for cash, and tell you money is not that important.

 

[Social_disturbance]

Not to change subjects...

But what are some good "Wealth Building" Forums and resources out there that you guys know about?

 

[Advantage]

Originally posted by Social_disturbance
Not to change subjects...

But what are some good "Wealth Building" Forums and resources out there that you guys know about?

Sorry to drop a plug here but I am building exactly what you are looking for here: www.newintown.net

It is a site aimed at connecting and allowing interactions between the ambitious in life. If anyone has any expertise in administering forums and would like to get on board before this site takes off I'd be happy to hear from you. Thanks!

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Oxide
This was inspired by a couple of posts I've recently ran across.

We have a number of successful people on this board. It is something i am actually very proud of, and this is who this thread is directed at.


We all know that money changes people. However, my question is, how does the money you've aquired change the people you associate with?

For example - your family. Now that you have money, do they suddenly start asking for favors, how often? What reasons do they give you? What attitude do your parents have now that you make more money than them? Come holidays, do they beg you to come over, how do they fight over your attention?


Your friends - what are your friends expectations now that you are living well? When you go out with best friends, are you the one who is expected to pay? How well do you treat them when birthdays come around? Do they feel jealous and joke about you now? Do they remind you of things they used to do for you back in the day?


I am very curious since many of us aspire to be rich without realizing that success comes at different types of sacrifices.

I'll try to answer your questions...

Biggie Smalls made a song back in I think 95 called "mo money, mo problems"... nothing could be father from the truth.

Let me start with my family... my parents are divorced.. they are best friends to this day, but they knew they weren't right for each other and ended it.. my mom is more jealous than anything.. and she makes a pretty damn good living herself.. but it took me 5 years what it took her over 20 to do less than half of.

I try to help her out by giving her advice. She sells insurance.. but her prorities are out of wack... she is struggling to find leads, yet she only works 2-4 hours a day. She is always hollering about how she never has any money, but she gives 15% of everything she gets to church, plus she went on a $3500 cruise last month

When I bought it up to her, she damned near slapped me... How Dare I tell her how to run her businesss.. all I was trying to do is to tell her look mom.. I've been there.. my gosh I'm 22.. there are times I want this, or want that, but you have to be able to look 5, 10, 20 steps down the road. I sacrificed everything I had from the time I was 18 until I was 21, and because of that, I can see the fruits of my labor.

Hell now, because someone broke into my house and stold my horse racing info, I am spending 12-15 hours a day trying to get it all back in order before January 12th


My step dad can't stand me, why I don't know... I used to catch him always starring at my Ex GF when I would bring her over.

My cousins my age are cool, all of them.

My dad's side of the family is alot better.. no matter what I do, I'm still me.. I'm still the baby in the family... even though I have 2 little brothers, there is a 15 year gap in between us, so I was the baby forever. I mean, I don't mind doing for anyone who works... my grandmom doesn't work anymore because of me.. She was 70 and working at Harvest Foods from 5am until 1pm every day.. i put an end to that..she isn't in the best health, and needs to enjoy what time she has left.

However, the main difference is everyone always wants to do **** wtih me now, as 4-5 years ago, I was a loner.. I routinely have to go visit cousins, anuts, uncles, my grandmom, just so people won't feel left out... what the **** makes me so freakin special where if I don't come see you, you feel left out?

My mom's side of the family, espcially my mom's mom, calls me at least once a month asking for something, and I do it.. and the only reason I do is because when my mom kicked me out of the hosue at 19, for no reason other than wanting to work for myself, she took me in when no one else made room. I didn't stay there longer than 2 months, but nevertheless, I told her I wouldn't forget that, and I didn't.

My dad doesn't ask for money.. never has.. won't take it. He does well, him and his wife, there is really nothing he wants he doesn't have already, execpt a BMW which he is going to buy this year. However if he called me and asked me for anything (Reasonable), I would do it at a drop of a dime.. family is supposed to take care of family, regardless of what hardships they put you though, you have to be better than that.

When I was broke I had 2 friends.. now.. I have 2 friends.. the same 2.

What's mine is theirs, it's that simple. I have 3 cars.. they have keys to all 3.

Both have keys to my house..

And this is why my friends are my friends.. they don't abuse anything... They have keys to my cars, MAYBE one of them might get one of them once a month.

They are always over my house, but I wouldn't have it any other way.. even with that said, when I have female company, they know what's up, nothing has to be said at all.

I took both of them shopping once, about 8 months ago.. they haven't asked for a dime since.

Now, Q (one of them) stayed with me 2 times over the last year for about 2 months.. his GF was in town and they didn't want to rent a hotel.. of course I didn't mind.

We are all pretty independant minded.. the only real difference I can tell you is that when we go out, I always pick up the tab which is never too much, about 50-60 bucks if that.

we have never given each other **** for each others birthday... funny thing that's true... for like 5 years in school, I would give Q a Birthday present.. he would save it, give it to Brad for his Bday, who would turn around and give it back to me.. after like 5 years of this, one day I just said "look.. just **** it, no point in rotating gifts"

We have always joked with each other.. they keep it real with me, I need that from time to time.. when I put on too much weight, they let me know about it instead of sucking up. We always joke around about school, because people can't believe some of the crap we used to do in school together.

You didn't ask, but I will mention women as well.

First of all, you have to understand me personally.. I'm not a very flashy person by nature. I"m not bill gates humble.. I have some nice things, but I don't go out of my way to show them.. I don't even carry cash, I use an Amex card.

So a woman isn't going to look at me, at least I would think and say"damn he has some money"...

Things go a little different. I try not to bring a girl back to my house on the first couple of dates, because the date quickly turns into a "give me your life story" which is nice, but i'm trying to ****.. now my house isn't MTV cribbs like.. that's too extravagant for my taste, but it's a very nice house.

It has it's perks.. I knew I could get away with murder with my ex, because I KNEW she wasn't stupid enough to leave me... One day I dared her to leave.. I literarly DARED her to walk out the door, and she coudln't.

My oneitis, the girl that bought me to this site:

Here is a pic of her BTW:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ur_hacked03/detail?.dir=8c12&.dnm=c73f.jpg&.src=ph

(girl on right)

it's a funny thing.. because I don't think.. I KNOW with 100% confidence, that one day, maybe not soon, but one day nevertheless, I'm going to have to make the decision do I want a serious relationship with her.

Simply because I have the ability to provide a certain type of lifestyle.

She started to treat me differently, alot differently, once I had some money in my pocket.

Always being in my neighboorhood, always wanting to grab a bite to eat with me, etc. And in all honesty, if she can grow up a little bit, I will probably give her a chance, but I doubt that will happen.

To sum it, in all honestly, taling about money is not something I'm very comfortable with, because most people are worried about how they are going to pay next months rent, when my money problems are alot more petty and trival compared to that.

I haven't changed.. i'm a little more careful who I hang around, that's about it.

I still do AFC things that I shoudldn't do, like tonight.