Change

[Super Hero]

I went to a business lunch the other day with my friend and the speaker asked a question that I think relates to what we are doing.

He asked the crowd of businessmen this question - "Why do people not change?"

The crowd responded with "Fear", "Comfortable", etc etc. Common responses to what seems to be a simple question.

And then, the speaker held up his hand, quieted the crowd and said the thing that has been running around in my head for the last 4 days. He said, "People don't change because it doesn't hurt enough yet."

When I heard him say that I reflected on my journey of the past 8 years. Why was I single for 8 years? Because it didn't hurt enough. Why did I use my job as a reason to exclude women from my life? Because it didn't hurt enough. Why could I come up with a million reasons that I didn't have women in my life or that woman wasn't the one for me etc etc etc ad nauseum? Because it didn't hurt enough yet!

4 months ago I discovered the "Pick Up" community through "The Game" at a point where it had finally started to hurt. I read, I tried, I watched videos, I tried. And it still hurt, but now I knew why it hurt and I could change it.

2 months ago I got sick of being overweight because it hurt enough. Now I work out 3 - 4 times a week, am eating right and it still hurts. But, I know it is changing.

1 month ago I saw a friend I have known for 13 years who I never told how I felt about her, because it never hurt enough knowing that she didn't know. So, I told her, I kissed her, I revelled in the moment and the joy of sharing with her. Now that part of me doesn't hurt but I am painfully aware of how much it once did and will never let it happen again.

So, if you see a friend, or even a random stranger that the community would call an "AFC", ask yourself how much they hurt, and then bring them on your journey so they can avoid the pain.

 

[YAboi]

BEST POST EVER. PERIOD! Take notes yung uns

 

[Wildebeest]

wow very nice post

I have been going through this in my own head over the last month. Im 23 and ive never had a gf. But lately its been hurting alot, and I have been changing my behaviour and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. In short, im pushing myself because I feel like I have my back to a cliff, if I take a backwards step, im dead. Already ive had very small sucesses, the only thing stopping me is myself and the bull**** I feed myself.

I like to use an analgy that humans are particles in a forcefield where emotions act on us like vectors of force. We feel lonliness and sadness, and we feel pain, this emotion pushes us out the door and emboldens us to try to make connections. We feel shyness when we're out, which pushes us back into our shell. Im trying to learn to feel the emotion but act with my intention regardless.

Will

 

[Wildebeest]

i keep telling myself regret is a 100 x more painful in the long run than a little instant pain from rejection

 

[shizz702]

Strong post bro.

And those words are serious. In retrospect everything that has inspired me to change and actually do something caused serious inner hurt.

 

[iwanttofight]

well said, I concur

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Good post, Super Hero.


Another thing that keeps people from "changing" is LACK OF KNOWLEDGE. There are quite a lot of people in the world who really are trying like hell to make a change, but they have been unsuccessful so far because they've either been given the wrong information, or they've been given SO MUCH information that it's thrown them into a perpetual state of confusion.

V.U.