Originally posted by MetalFortress
Gio, is there something the matter with actually wanting respect from your girlfriend? Assuming the person in question doesn't raise his voice at her, it's reasonable to expect her not to raise her voice at him. I agree with PRLover in that sense, although I wouldn't have said "excuse yourself from this relationship", probably something along the lines of "bye, call me when you want to talk like a mature adult about this".
There is a difference, MetalFortress, between making it clear that you will not be disrespected, and dumping a girl because she raised her voice at you. People handle anger in different ways, and a lot of people raise their voice when they're angry. In a perfect world, no one would ever raise their voice to anyone, but this ain't a perfect world. It's gonna happen, especially if YOU'RE out of line. Some might say that Dragon_Luv overstepped the line by telling her he was going to hang up on her and then taking a call on call waiting... but even if that wasn't stepping over the line (being disrespectful to her), it at least created the
appearance that he was out of line. That's predictably going to cause some anger.
See, if you create an intense enough connection, everything you do is going to evoke a higher emotional reaction than it otherwise would. Therefore, in a relationship where there's a strong connection, all feelings tend to be stronger, including anger. So if she wants to yell, let her yell (unless there's other people around... I wouldn't tolerate that). If both of you are mature enough, you'll work it out. I'd rather have a girl who yells when she's angry any day. Do you even know what the alternatives are?
Alternative #1 I think this is the girl that you think that you want. She's the
Subservient type. The girl who does what you tell her to. If you tell her not to be angry, if you tell her not to raise her voice to you, she doesn't. But that's going to create resentment in her in all likelihood, and in my opinion as soon as a girl does whatever you say and whatever you tell her to do, you might as well be dating a sock puppet anyway.
Alternative #2 Let's face facts... if you're around someone long enough, they're eventually going to piss you off, and vice versa. The only way that you can be around a person a lot and never get pissed off is if they're perfect (which I haven't found yet) or if you don't really care about them. In other words, alternative #2 is the
Apathetic type. She doesn't give a damn about you or what you do and therefore she'll never raise her voice at you. She just doesn't give a flying f*ck. In my mind, there's no point dating a girl who doesn't give a sh*t about you at all.
Alternative #3 This girl isn't controlled by you, and she cares about you, but she won't raise her voice to you because she's got a better way of handling things. She's the
Passive-Aggressive type. She'll get pissed off at you for whatever, but she won't raise her voice at you. In fact, you might not even know that you pissed her off in the first place. But then later, you try to have sex with her and she's "not in the mood". The reason she's "not in the mood" is because she's pissed at you still, but damned if she'll say so. Or she might mope around, sigh a lot or give off other clues that she's upset. But if you ask her what's wrong, she won't tell you -- you might get the famous, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you" line, which will leave you scrambling, retracing the past day or two trying to figure out what in the hell you did to piss her off. It'll build up, though, so that later, you get into an argument and she brings it up... along with a huge rap sheet of all your other offenses from the past six months.
With the girl who raises her voice, you know what's upsetting her. Then you deal with it. You work it out. If she's being unreasonable, you deal with that. If she has a legitimate reason to be angry, you work through that. Either you work it out or you don't, but you'll have a real girl (not a puppet), who actually cares about you, and you should know where you stand with her. And either way, the issue will be less likely to come up again, and the mere act of working it out like mature adults will make the relationship stronger. Afterwards, if you work things out, the make-up sex is usually great, which is always an added bonus.
Or, you could just say, "B*tch, you raised your voice at me, get the f*ck out."
