There's something I want to clarify...
Originally posted by Vronski
Wow Very very nice post - you seem to really know the stuff you're talking about. You even know the word sub-conscious...
Please tell me - if change magically comes from within ---
It's good to get criticism, but for some reason I get the feeling that you didn't quite understand the point of my post. That's fine, perhaps I wasn't being clear enough on this. So, I'll jusy clarify something to you - and to other people who didn't get what change I was talking about, too.
We change all the time. The word "character" does not only include our living habits, but also our ways of seeing the world and the way we see ourselves. That is the part that is in the sub-consciousness (what's so special about that word? .
). Therefore, it does
not happen automatically - or "magically". I said that if people want to change something, they need to make it their way of life. Now, this is NOT an easy and/or "magical" change, since you're fighting against your own mind! You can't tell your mind when to change, that's why dedicating yourself to something new - and something hard, like self-respecting - is not an easy task.
Everybody changes within. All the time. We see and learn new things and those things slowly change our attitudes towards ourselves and the world around us. But the really hard thing is to
control the change. That's why complete dedication is needed. Think about a kid who always gets mocked by other kids. When one guy mocks him once, the kid won't really mind. "Hey, it's life", he tells to himslef. But what if EVERYBODY mocks him like that ALL THE TIME? Sooner or later the kid is gonna start hating himself. Why does this kind of change happen? Why does he start hating himself? Because he tells himself: "Oh my, I think I want to hate myself"? Noooo... he doesn't tell himself that. The change happens without him even recognizing it. It just happens unconsciously. Years pass, but the kid remains a kid, as he's too afraid to look for new sides in himself and therefore doesn't get more mature or doesn't get to know himself. And then, the kid finds this site and reads "Kill that desperation" by Pook for the first time - and believes everything that's being said there. What happens?
BOOF! Does he magically turn into a masculine, succesful DJ?
No. Next day he will be just as huge a loser as before. And the day after that. And the day after that. He just can't fight his own character - not at first, at least.
The texts written by Pook will not change him. But, they will do something else: they make him think that perhaps it is
possible for me to change in the future! And this spark of hope turns the tables: he's character has always kept changing, but so far it has changed itself towards self-hatret. Now,
if the kid truly dedicates himself to self improvement, there's a chance that his character will change in the future. That's what I ment when I said that it must became a way of life. And what if he doesn't totally and completely dedicate to this (i.e. make it a way of life for him)? Well, Bungo Pony posted a great example of this:
Originally posted by Bungo Pony
I would go on "surges" of self improvement everytime something major happened in my life, then I'd just sit back and enjoy the changes I made to myself without continuing the self improvement. By doing this I'd revert back into AFC ways.
Remember that our self-image and the image of the world around us will keep on changing even if we stop self-improving! If you don't even try to control the direction of the change, you might find yourself back in the AFC-land again. That's why it has to be a way of life to you.
This actually brings us to what Ronin posted:
Originally posted by Ronin I
Is it generally part of your superior CHARACTER to call people morons?
I don't believe there is such a thing as a "superior" character. As our characters change all the time in all categories, there will not be two character that are alike. That's why it's pointless to compete. That's why it's pointless to ask about other people's characters. Instead of asking "is it part of your character to call people morons", you should be asking: "is it part of
my character to complain about it?"
You need to think about how you want to change and then
completely dedicate yourself to it. Many, many people here take it as a competition. Why is it bad to take it as a competition? Because when winning is the main goal and self-improvement only a way to get there, then your character will abandon the self-improvement once you've got to the winning part. Am I wrong? Then why did my weight come back if I lost it really fast? You can dedicate yourself into not-eating-anything and lose huge amount of pounds in a week. But once you've gotten to the low numbers in weight, you've achieved your goals - and you'll be eating yourslef fat again. Why? Because recent psychological studies indicate that fatness is just as much psychological as it is physiological. Fat people aren't hungry all the time; they're just addicted to food. They just can't stop thinking about food. As a former fatazz, I have to agree with these studies. Therefore, you need to change your
character if you want to lose that weight permanently. And that requiers
complete dedication, which in my eyes is synonym of "making it a way of life".
Now, all this stuff are in the psychology books. But did my life change when I started reading psychology? No. Whether you believe in psychology, philosophy, some religion, or the sayings of the DJ Bible, they can only provide you with the right questions, the right answers you'll have to find from yourself. That's why you should never believe 100 % everything what some religion, or psychology, or DJ Bible says. Because in the end, you are always the one providing the answers. That's why it needs dedication, that's why you need to use your own brains to think.
That's why change comes from within.
EDIT: This was my 500th post! Hooray!
